Riptide
by alejandrathemexican
Summary: Astrid Hofferson, reluctant model, celebrity and It Girl is tired of living the same hollow life she's always lived so she runs to Berk, a small isle country in the UK to visit her aunt until the storm passes. Hiccup Haddock, son of Stoick (the lawperson of the Isle) is stuck between his parents' issues and fears he's losing the chance to pursue his dreams.
1. Nowhere to be found

**Chapter 1: Nowhere to Be Found** by **Frances Luke Accord**

 _And it's a long time to lie_

 _A child beneath an endless sky_

 _Who can only reach so high_

 _And I love to wonder why_

 _I feel I'm left with only my disguise_

* * *

"Martha says you were late." Ingrid's reproach entered the room before she did, fingers tapping on her smartphone. She squandered a fleeting glare in Astrid's direction before resting her tall, waifish body in the vanity of the dressing room.

She sighed and typed a final message before turning to look at her daughter. "What were you doing?"

Astrid was still returning Ingrid's glare in full through the mirror. She ignored the makeup artist working on erasing everything on her face that was untamed.

"Why don't you ask Martha?" she said, her hands gripping the arms of the tall chair she was perched on.

Ingrid threw her a scowl and opened her mouth to speak before her phone pinged, the screen lighting like a luring beacon.

Her jaw snapped shut and she raised a finger _'wait'_ she seemed to signal before she tapped the green symbol on the screen and stepped out again.

Astrid's frown remained as she dug out her phone and opened her messaging app, opening the latest string and noticing Heather had answered her message.

"Relax your face," the makeup artist pleaded with her.

Astrid's muscles slackened. She allowed the woman to tilt her head to the side.

She moved her arms along so she could read the message:

 _(9:30 am) Heathen: Rehearsal's going well! How's the shoot going?_

Astrid typed back a quick _'in makeup'_. She knew Heather would understand the brief response.

The makeup artist stopped her ministrations and walked off, muttering about something.

The girl was left alone in the dressing room. She glanced at the door through the mirror, waiting for somebody (either her mother or the makeup artist) to return, but when nobody did, she slouched and began to type furiously:

 _(9:53 am) You: I haven't seen her yet. What time does the show start again?_

Astrid shut down her screen, her fingertips tapping against the white phone, her eyes guarding the door. A ping distracted her from her duty. It was Heather again.

 _(9:54 am) Heathen: 7:30! And don't worry, she's going to love you. Valerie's the best photographer I've worked with."_

 _(9:54 am) You: I know. Thanks, Heath. I'm sorry I can't be there for the opening. I'll see you tomorrow?_

Heather hadn't had to reassure her. Astrid had seen Valerie's pictures: men and women, all made up into something magnificent and otherworldly through the lens of her camera. Fashion magazines left and right used her pictures, and billboards all over New York were decked in her work.

When she'd heard from Ingrid that Valerie wanted to photograph her, she had smiled at her mother across the kitchen counter for the first time in _months_. She couldn't wait to be made into something _more_ than beautiful.

Ingrid returned, her heels click-clacking on the concrete floor. Her phone was finally put away, her hand curling against it for comfort, like the comfort a weapon could provide.

Astrid straightened on her seat. She turned her own phone over so the screen was facing her lap. She waited.

Her mother crossed her arms. "So? Why on _earth_ were you late?"

Astrid's carefully manicured fingers tightened around her phone. "I had to go pick up my certificate."

Ingrid sighed. "Really? Couldn't it be done any other day?"

Astrid's jaw tensed with fury. "The school was going to be closed for the summer after today."

Her mother sighed, "Baby girl, this is more important."

She crossed her arms, glaring at something in the mirror. Herself or her mother; she wasn't entirely sure. "My grades aren't terrible, and I aced the SAT's. If we hurry, I can still send in late applications-" Her reproach was interrupted.

"Astrid." Ingrid's tone was final.

The girl's jaw snapped closed.

Ingrid's smile spread with the rhythm of condescendence. "Baby, we have everything we need. Mommy's working hard to get you to the top. You only need to let me _help_ you."

Astrid scowled. Ingrid scowled.

 _'Great.'_ thought Astrid, the sarcasm dripping like dark ink.

Ingrid seemed to take her silence for obedience. She reached and tapped Astrid's hands before walking behind her, hands sliding onto the girl's shoulders. "Now. Look at the mirror."

Astrid's gaze on the mirror moved from her mother to herself. Her skin glowed, fake freckles drawn in places more convenient than her real ones, soft fawn eyeshadow darkening her lids only slightly, gold eyeliner shimmering in the lighting. Her lips were carefully painted a natural pink shade. Her hair, a mop of blond strands she normally kept braided was in a low ponytail, the frailness of the hairstyle engineered in thoughtful curls.

She was looking at the face of a stranger.

Her scowl deepened.

Ingrid seemed to think differently. Her eyes were shining with pride. "Baby girl, you look _beautiful_."

The stylist, a short, balding man entered the room, holding a garment bag with reverence before he hung it and unzipped the dress she'd be wearing.

Soft, sheer white fabric almost burst from the bag. Astrid would be wearing a bridal gown.

The stylist and Ingrid helped her into the dress and shoes, and Astrid felt handled and preened, like a pet cat.

At last, she was led out of the dressing room onto the set, a manufactured forest of vines and lavender colored wisteria designed to frame her.

Ingrid pulled her along to a pair of women chatting amiably. One of them, Astrid knew. Red, big curly hair. The director of the shoot. As soon as they had arrived Ingrid had made sure Astrid could recognize the important players in the game, at least from sight. The brown-haired woman, though, was a mystery.

Her mother stopped and Astrid felt herself follow her lead.

Curly hair turned when she sensed them nearby. "Ingrid!" She welcomed.

"Ray!" answered Ingrid.

The women embraced, and Ray turned to the brown-haired woman. "Valerie, this here is Ingrid Hofferson."

The brown-haired woman- no. Valerie's eyes twinkled with amusement. "Oh, we've met." There was a familiar lilt to her accent and a fond and graceful smile on her face.

Ingrid reached to grasp her shoulder, her squeeze affectionate. "It's great, seeing ye again. You've met Astrid?" she turned to her daughter.

Astrid straightened when the three women turned to face her. "Hello, thank you for having me." Her smile was strained.

Ray nodded, but Valerie gasped. "Oh, Ingrid! She looks so much like- "

"Yes." Interrupted Ingrid.

Astrid didn't have to guess to know what the woman had been trying to say. She looked so much like Arvid, her father.

After a brief, tense silence Valerie smiled, displaying that unnatural grace again. "Well, miss Hofferson, why don't you show us what you've got?"

* * *

Stoick's thundering steps as he walked towards the kitchen startled Hiccup. He sighed, glancing at the toast with regret as he picked it up from the floor.

"Hiccup," Stoick was already sitting on the kitchen counter, the pitiful wooden stool groaning under the gigantic man's weight.

"Dad," greeted Hiccup, powerless to watch as his father stole the remaining piece of toast from his plate and started to smear strawberry jam on it.

Stoick took a bite, and munched on it for a second before speaking, "Ready for today, then?"

"Yeah." Hiccup turned to the toaster and put two more slices of bread in it, the knob on the side sticking down with a 'clink'.

Stoick hummed, his gaze traveling outside the small kitchen window, at the grey clouds gathering far away in the sky.

The toaster pinged his thoughts back to the room, and he stared at his son as the young man pulled out the slices from the machine. "Leg isn't giving you trouble? 'Was a bit cold earlier."

"No. Not at all." Hiccup placed the toasts on the plate Stoick had commandeered and went back to finally make his own breakfast.

He turned, his back facing the toaster and his front facing his father. His lenient smile growing more and more smug by the millisecond. "I mean, asides from it, you know, -" he gestured to the prosthetic he'd had since he was 8 years old. "-being missing, it's been decent." He bit his toast and chewed quickly.

Stoick frowned. "You know I still can't find those funny."

The pride at his own clever joke vanished faster than a spooked horse from Hiccup's forest green eyes. "W-well, you know…" He trailed off, clearing his throat.

They both stayed silent for a weird, undesirable moment.

Hiccup felt a bit of the toast go the wrong way, and he started coughing at the same time Stoick started speaking.

"You're against that American lad today, are you?"

"What?" His raspy voice was overtaken by more coughing.

"The American lad. That-"

"Eret," He coughed. "Eret Anderson."

"You should squeeze in a bit of practice if you can, warm up for the show."

"Well, not- not really- not a show, really, more like a -." Hiccup cleared his throat again.

"Race?" Stoick frowned, "You're racing again? _Hiccup_ " warned Stoick.

" _Dad."_ Hiccup, feeling like he'd been warned enough, decided to warn back. "It'll be fine. You know me."

They stared intently at each other with frowns, and their arms crossed, the toast forgotten in their plates. He'd have thought it humorous if Hiccup hadn't been so frustrated.

Finally, Stoick ceded first. He reached for the last of the toast in his plate before he sighed. "You'll be careful, aye?" his voice was low and guarded. His frown had become softer.

Hiccup gave him a look equally as fond as it was exasperated before relenting. "aye, dad."

They finished the last of the toast in companionable silence.

Stoick watched Hiccup carefully clear the kitchen counter for a moment before bringing it up. "Son… have..." he harrumphed, "have you heard from your mother?"

"Mum? Um... Yeah, um. She's… she's great."

"I'm-I'm glad."

For a minute, the only sounds were the clinking of the dishes Hiccup was washing before Stoick interrupted it again, "Did you ask 'er?"

Hiccup sighed, drying his hands with his jeans, "yeah."

"And...?"

"She um…" He walked back to the kitchen counter. "She misses us, but she can't come back right now. Too busy with work. Fall-Winter season."

"She's busy all the seasons," grumbled Stoick, mostly to himself. "I'll call her myself later."

Hiccup didn't know what to say to this, so he drummed his fingertips against the marble surface, his closed lips grimacing.

Stoick sighed, standing. "Anyway, don't worry son, you've got this."

Hiccup's fingers stilled, splaying over the counter. "Right. Thanks, dad."

Stoick ignored the weariness of Hiccup's reply. "Shame I'm too 'vast' to ride these horses now, isn't it?" He chuckled, "Though I don't know if I could beat you!" He started to walk into the hallway, picking his briefcase and his coat.

Hiccup followed his father, a wry smile spreading his lips, "Well then, my evil plan to fatten the competition worked."

Stoick gave him a hearty slap to the shoulder, his laughter booming. "Son of Loki, you are." He glanced at the clock hanging over the front door, _6:30 am._ "Ought to go now. Meeting at the council chambers."

Hiccup held his father's car keys in front of him. "Yeah. See you at the show?" He prompted the rehearsed conversation, even though he knew the answer.

Stoick shrugged his coat on, grabbing the keys from his son's fingers. "I'll do my best to make it on time."

Hiccup frowned. "Right."

"Best be off. I'll be there, probably!" Called Stoick, opening the door and walking towards his SUV. The morning light shone on his fiery red beard.

"Bye," he called back. "I'll see you there." _'maybe,'_ he added to himself.

Stoick waved at him before backing away from the gravel drive.

Watching the black SUV drive away, Hiccup knew Stoick wouldn't make it on time for the race.

He walked back to the house, stuffing his hands in the pockets of his coat.

The bang of the door closing had Toothless' nails tapping on the dark hardwood floors on the house as he chased Hiccup upstairs.

Hiccup fumbled as the big black dog overtook him and almost tripped him. "Toothless!" he complained.

Toothless stopped on his tracks and came back from the end of the hallway to wait for him at the landing, and barked at him, his body lowering to the floor in a playful stance. _'Hurry up!'_ he seemed to say.

Hiccup threw him a fond smile before they walked together, the dog at his heel as he opened the door to his bedroom.

He walked straight to the wooden desk he had pushed to the right of the room next to the wardrobe, pocketing the keys to his jeep.

He picked up his camera and started fiddling with its equipment, making sure the camera was properly charged and he had the lenses he needed. From the corner of his eye, he spotted Toothless jumping on the bed and lying on top of his pillows, settling into a comfortable nap.

He changed his coat for a jacket, hanging it over his arm. He'd most probably need it later.

He grabbed the camera bag and turned to the lulling dog, "C'mon, Toothless!"

Toothless opened a wary eye before he closed it again.

Hiccup readjusted the strap of the bag on his shoulder before he tried again. "Bud, let's go."

Toothless looked at him levelly, not getting up from his spot.

"Alright then, you lazy dog, suit yourself," Hiccup started leaving the room, looking back once in a while to see if the dog was following. "if you want to be all by yourself today be my guest."

The boy waited at the landing, his hands tapping on his thighs. He didn't last long before he came back into the bedroom, incredulous. "Really? not even the threat of loneliness? You're ruthless." He walked to the dog and lied down next to him, careful with his camera but letting the coat slide to the floor, and putting his forearm over his face in mock devastation.

"I've been abandoned," he whined. "I should have listened when people told me not to take in the wild wolf-dog."

Toothless plopped his head on Hiccup's chest and Hiccup's arms curled around the dog, his fingers threading through the dog's coarse fur, his smile fading as he thought of his father.

When was the last time Stoick had gone to see Hiccup at the turf? Hiccup couldn't even remember it. It had been like this since his mother had left them. Sometimes, he-

He stilled, and both dog and boy shared a look before they smiled.

"C'mon bud. Let's see if there are moments we can capture."

When Hiccup stood up to leave, Toothless followed.

* * *

"Astrid!" Her mother's shrill tone shook her out of her thoughts. "Focus!"

Astrid blushed, she addressed the photographer. "I'm sorry."

Valerie gave her a smile that was dripping with kindness. "Not to worry, girlie," and clicked away on her camera for a few minutes before she stopped. "Astrid, can you smile? Look happy, in love."

Wasn't she smiling? Astrid quickly corrected it, changing her scowl for a soft smile. It lasted as long as she took to look at her mother.

Ingrid was furious. She was glaring at Astrid from behind Valerie, her arms crossed and her foot tapping. Tapping.

Astrid glared back at her, straightening her spine, her fingers curling like claws on the white tulle.

"Miss Hofferson," Valerie sighed. "happy and in love. It's a bridal shoot, dear."

Astrid re-focused, but she couldn't bring herself to smile.

After a few unsatisfying pictures, Valerie stood up. There was an air of finality to her actions as she signaled everyone for a five-minute break.

She approached Astrid first, raising a hand in a stopping motion so she wouldn't follow.

Astrid squared her jaw and frowned, her fingers curling on the dress.

 _'Fit and ready for battle,'_ mused Valerie, a hand reaching for the girl's shoulder. She tensed when she felt the girl _shaking_. Whether it was with fear or anger, Valerie wasn't too sure.

Valerie saw the girl-dam about to burst, and she sighed. "Miss Hofferson, why don't you go home for the day? I'll explain you weren't feeling well."

Astrid's face slackened, her face hot with humiliation and despair. She'd _failed_. She avoided the woman's green eyes, comforting with her gaze, to settle on the floor. She nodded her agreement.

As she walked off to get changed, a burning tear fell down her cheek, but it remained unseen, as Astrid wiped it as soon as she could.

Stepping out of a dress that was more beautiful than she could ever be, Astrid could hear the argument between her mother and the photographer raging on:

"-making her uncomfortable! How am I supposed to take her picture like this?!"

"I'll talk to her! She should know by now not to act this childish." Her mother's voice sounded closer to the dressing room.

"Ingrid, all I'm saying is-"

"And you're not one to criticize my parenting, Valerie, at least I've got my child with me!"

They were almost at the door. Astrid finished dressing and waited for them to burst into the room, but nothing happened for a moment.

Then, she heard Valerie's voice murmur with resentment, "You don't know what you're talking about. And as long as you stay near my models, I won't _ever_ take their pictures," she said, with the finality of a judge's verdict.

Astrid heard steps receding before Ingrid slammed the door open, "See what you did?" Ingrid came dangerously close to her, pointing her finger like a sword, but Astrid squared up. "Now you're fired!"

"Fine," Astrid spit out, grabbing her bag and her phone and pushing her mother with her shoulder as she stormed out of the room, her presence, and the building.

Some of the people on the street turned to her curiously as she stormed past them, but New Yorkers were the tough sort, and let her be.

Astrid tried calling Heather, but she wasn't picking up. _'Probably in rehearsal…'_

She needed a distraction. Heather wasn't available but she needed… she needed _someone._

Anyone.

Her fingers flew over her phone screen, but stopped at Erik Cameron's number, hesitating to press the green 'call' button.

She had never called her boyfriend for something like this.

For a moment, she entertained the notion of them becoming a real couple who supported each other, and she pressed 'call', hailing a cab while it rang.

Erik hadn't picked up, but it was noon. He'd probably still be in his apartment.

"Where to, Miss?" The taxi driver was asking her, and Astrid burst into tears.

"I'm sorry," she sobbed, angry at herself for making a scene, giving the driver the directions to her boyfriend's apartment.

The driver nodded and took off, trying to ignore the crying girl in his backseat.

They traveled for twenty minutes before the car rolled to a stop in front of a posh building.

Astrid paid the driver with some wrinkled bills and gave him a quiet and embarrassed 'thank you' before going up to the elevator and tapping her boyfriend's floor number.

Walking down the corridor until she reached number 13, she took out her key and opened the door as quietly as she could, in case Erik was still hungover or asleep.

"Erik?" she called out, but no one answered.

She heard moaning coming from the bedroom. _'Of course,'_ thought Astrid. _'Pre-lunch porn.'_ She rolled her eyes at his predictability.

She approached the bedroom and listened with her ear to the door, not meaning to interrupt him.

"Erik!" she heard a woman's moan.

Astrid straightened, frowning. That was oddly specific.

She turned the handle and slammed the door open, and there her boyfriend was.

Naked, half-sitting on his bed, eyes closed and with a girl on top of him, her brown hair bouncing along with her.

* * *

 **Author's note:** I've changed some of the wording, the last girl's hair color, and some mistakes! I was in a hurry to post this before I left for work so I never got a chance to write a bit about this story.

It's been in my mind for months so I've been obsessed with getting everything right, doing research and writing about the locations and the people, so ask me anything! I could tell you everything from the politics to the economy and social customs of this place. I've been that obsessed.

Each chapter is named after a song and will always include the part of the lyrics that inspired the themes I'd be focusing on, and I highly recommend you check out the songs!

 **About the speed I'll be posting in:** Next chapter should come soon, as it's already outlined, but I'm really, very busy with work and school so after chapter 2 I might not update regularly as I wish, but I will try for a chapter every week, if that's alright with you all as well!

Please let me know what you think, your predictions, your feelings, what you thought about the scenes or the characters, (this is my first HTTYD story, so please let me know if you think the characters' reactions are inaccurate! Also, if there's anyone out there willing to be my beta reader I'd really welcome your help.) You guys can PM through here or send me an Ask through tumblr (same username) if there's anything you want to talk about!

 **Thank you for reading!**


	2. February

**Chapter 2: February** by **Jonny Carroll**

 _Green eyes; Didn't take you long_

 _To find your way into this song_

 _Passin' through, now I've come and gone_

 _Never meant to hurt you or do you wrong_

* * *

Astrid had barely stared at them before she marched into the room, a hot pulse beating in her throat.

Her boyfriend, who still had the brunette on top of him, opened his eyes to inspect where the sound of her stomping was coming from, and barely had the time to shove the girl away and gather the sheets around him before a fist crashed into the Greek nose that had gotten him so many acting roles before.

He yowled, throwing his hands to his face, before screaming in pain again. "You _crazy_ _ **bitch**_! Ow! What the fuck!"

Astrid was standing right next to him. She turned around, almost robotically, addressing the dazed girl on the floor next to her boyfriend's bed.

She stared at her with an unflinching glare. "Get dressed, and leave."

The girl blinked once, staring at the still whimpering Erik, before she stood, clumsily grabbing at her clothes on the floor, putting them on as she went.

The only sound was Erik's whining, "My fucking _nose, Jesus Christ_!"

Astrid was filled with nothing but boiling rage. She turned to Erik, pointing a finger. "Do NOT call me, or text me. We're _done_. Understand?" She watched him squirm under her glower until she got a nod from him.

She backed out of bedroom, storming through the living room, grabbing at picture frames of them together and throwing them to the floor, relishing in the crack of the glass over the concrete floors.

When she passed the bedroom on her way out, Erik was leaning on the doorframe, holding toilet paper gingerly against his nose.

When she got to the apartment she shared with her mom, Astrid tore into the rooms, trying to find anything that remotely reminded her of Erik, finding nothing but a sweatshirt he'd forgotten the week before, to her confusion. She threw the gray, old thing into the trash chute in the hallway.

She huffed, giving up and sitting down on her bed. She glanced around her room, her blond hair following her head, still in the ponytail from the photoshoot.

Astrid inspected her room. The walls were bare, excepting for pictures from modeling stints her mother had printed, all equal in size (big), color (white), and material (wood).

An ottoman upholstered in blue velvet was the most colorful thing in the room, and it sat at the foot of her bed.

All good, only in that there was nothing remaining of Erik Cameron inside the room. There was already barely any Astrid in it. (Plenty of Astrid Hofferson, though.)

Her phone buzzed, and Astrid dug it out of her jean pocket. Several messages shone through the screen, ordered from newest to oldest:

 _(3:35 pm) Heathen: A, call me asap._

 _(3:15 pm) Mom: Or we can talk when you finally pick up your fucking phone._

 _(3:15 pm) Mom: You're not at the apartment and I have to fly to LA. We're talking properly when I come back in three days. Martha will send you the details._

 _(2:32 pm) Heathen: Girl, are you alright? Your mom called and she' d._

 _(2:31 pm) Mom: This wouldn't have happened if you'd been on time._

 _(2:26 pm) Mom: Astrid, where in hel are you? I sent Martha to the apartment and you're not there._

 _(1: 55 pm) Heathen: A?_

 _(1: 50 pm) Heathen: Astrid?_

 _(1: 48 pm) Heathen: So? Is it finished, then? Valerie's plenty quick at what she does, so I reckoned! How did it go?_

 _(1: 19 pm) Mom: *better not have left, Astrid._

 _(1: 19 pm) Mom: I'll go back and talk to Valerie and apologize so you b_

She ignored the missed call and message notifications from her mother and set to answer Heather:

 _(4:08 pm) You: You busy?_

" _Amazing how a life can go to shit in half a day or less,"_ she wondered, a scowl on her face. She set the phone down on her side and flopped on her back, bouncing on the mattress.

She had stared at the white ceiling for a couple of minutes before her phone buzzed again, persistent. Astrid shot up and tapped to answer the call.

She flipped on her belly, phone still against her ear. "Heath?"

There was the sound of coordinated singing, some shuffling and a heavy door slamming. "A? Is that you?"

Heather's accent made Astrid smile with fondness, "Still in rehearsal?"

A muffled, male voice called out _'Heather?'_ and Heather whispered at the phone, "I'm hiding, but they'll find me sooner or later."

Astrid sighed. She knew how busy her best friend was, but she had never needed her time and advice like now.

Heather's voice urged her, "Is everything alright?"

Astrid wiggled into a more comfortable position, "Erik's cheating on me. And I got fired from the shoot."

There was a brief silence, before Heather mumbled, "well, shit."

Her laugh was despondent. "Same. Wanna know how I found out?"

"How?" Astrid imagined Heather in a closet or vacant room somewhere, phone close to her ear, crouching hiding, eyes wide with curiosity.

"Went to maybe get some cuddles. Maybe. Turns out he was being cuddled all over by some girl."

Heather actually gasped, "No."

"Yes."

"What the fuck?"

"Agreed. I think I broke his nose."

Static silence. Heather let out a nervous giggle, "Well, shit, then."

Astrid snorted, "Again; same."

The male voice had returned, this time closer. 'Heather?' it called, 'we need to rehearse the stairwell for the lights one last time before we go get ready.'

Heather and Astrid sighed.

Astrid heard Heather call out 'Just a mo'!' before returning to their call.

Heather's voice was apologetic, "I've got to go. Come to the show? We can get drunk and have pizza at your place after?"

Astrid's smile turned pensive. "Fine," she decided in the end. "I'll be there. Front row, you said?"

"Dag's got the tickets! Now I've got to go for real. See you then, love!"

The line disconnected before Astrid said anything back, and she was left staring at the ceiling once more.

* * *

Hiccup passed the brush over the black horse's back one last time as he continued his one-sided conversation, "-so of course he didn't come. No one came actually," he scoffed, lowering his hand. "'s not like I was expecting them to, just -you know- hoping…" he placed his right hand on top of the horse's snout, more to comfort himself than the horse.

Fury snorted on his face, showering him with spit.

"And now I'm talking to a spitting horse." He sighed, shifting his weight from one foot to his prosthesis and back.

He rubbed his hands over his face, trying to wipe off the spit.

"Ah! Did I miss it, lad?" A man's voice came from behind him.

Hiccup startled, dropping the brush, "Gobber!" his annoyance overcame his surprise, and he raised an eyebrow, both hands presenting the dark sky outside, "late? No!" his hands flew over the brush, that Gobber, a short, pudgy and two-limbed man had picked up.

Hiccup threw him a flat stare. "Not late at all, for next week's race-" he resumed brushing the black horse. "-you could even camp if you liked; pick the best spot."

An unamused Gobber, having been watching his dramatics, almost ripped the brush away with his good (note: still there) hand, "Don't get cheeky with me, boy," and brushed his own long mustache, not noticing or caring about the black horse hair embedding itself into his ashy blond strands, "I do have something that might interest ya," he gave back the brush to a revolted Hiccup.

Hiccup avoided touching the brush much as he put it away, and patted the horse. He swung the strap of his leather satchel over his head, guiding Gobber out the stables and out into the parking lot as the man went on speaking:

"-Young one, no less than a year. Found her in the fields, malnourished. Might be a good friend for that mangy dog of yours?" prompted Gobber, scratching his backside absentmindedly, as he waited for Hiccup to unlock the jeep.

Hiccup shrugged, "Dunno. I want to, but I don't think I have the time to really train her," he said, rummaging for his car keys. "Maybe Fish has a bit more time. Would be good practice," he avoided Gobber's raised eyebrow.

He dug around his bag, his shoulders jerking up and down before his green eyes lit with victory. "Aha!" he turned to Gobber, keys dangling from his fingers, triumphant.

Gobber gave him a leveling stare Hiccup was very acquainted with. His 'Ah, lad now, you'll listen to old Gobber.'

Hiccup sighed in defeat, "Fine. But-!" he pointed up with a warning. "I can't keep her for long; dad barely tolerates Toothless." He pressed the unlock button. "-And that's because he thinks it's funny when the dog chases the squirrels up the trees in the yard," he added, mumbling.

He walked around the front of the car onto the right side and opened the driver's door. Hand still in the door frame, he turned to look at Gobber. "So? Staying here today or am I giving you a ride back to town?"

Gobber shrugged, "meh. Think I'll stay up there tonight," He pointed with his head to his back. Although invisible to Hiccup from their position, beyond the stables and the turf there was a small cabin that served as the office for the turf, and that Gobber used to sleep sometimes, when he wanted. "I want to spend some time with Grump tomorrow."

Hiccup climbed into the driver's seat, shrugging, "Alright then! When should I pick her up?"

Gobber leaned in the passenger seat's window, "She's already waiting," he admitted, ignoring Hiccup's flat stare, "Don't forget to bring her by the clinic tomorrow, too!"

When Hiccup gave a dramatic, despondent sigh Gobber frowned at him, "Come on, now! We both knew you were gonna take the little miss in! Now go away, shoo!" he made a ' _scoot!_ ' motion.

Hiccup started the car, grinning at Gobber one more time before driving away.

* * *

Her apartment keys clinked on the bowl of the kitchenette counter. Trusting Heather to turn the lights on behind her, Astrid moved as smoothly as she could onto the living room, before the lights glittered on.

She blinked, getting used to the brightness, and set down the pizza box on the coffee table. She flopped onto the sofa like a boneless pile.

Heather was searching the cabinets for their wine glasses just a couple of meters away, humming.

Astrid smiled as she looked at her. She couldn't think of a single friend of their usual circles that would give up a night of celebration to support her like Heather had. Despite it being the opening night of her musical, Heather had snuck away after a brief 'thank you' speech by the director instead of enjoying the festivities.

Astrid's phone beeped with a notification from Instagram _. 'itsmallory_s has mentioned you in a post.'_ Frowning, she slid the notification open.

Mallory Schultz was one of her friends. She was a blonde, tall and skinny, not unlike herself, and had brilliant brown eyes. Astrid didn't think her especially wise, although she was cunning.

And cunning she was. The picture was very stereotypical. Sunglasses and Starbucks cup in frame. What was not very Mallory was Astrid's recent ex-boyfriend next to her in the picture.

She scrolled down to read the caption: _'A day out with the boyfriend. Missing you realastridhofferson Hope you were here!'_

The picture had clearly been taken earlier in the week, as Erik wasn't sporting a broken nose.

"What's that, love?" Heather's voice startled her. She was leaning over her shoulder to look at the picture on Astrid's phone.

Astrid took the wine glasses and the bottle from her best friend's hands, exchanging them for her phone. She gave her a non-committal noise.

Heather gasped, "That fucking snake!" she flipped her long, black hair behind her shoulder as she sat down next to Astrid, "we've got to do something about this!" she gave the phone back to Astrid.

She locked the phone's screen and threw it away onto the next couch. "You know what? I don't care anymore." Astrid opened the bottle and served their glasses. She took notice of Heather's pointed look, "What? I really don't!"

"Sure," said Heather, one eyebrow raised, "Look, I believe you when you say you don't care about him, but Mallory-!"

" _Mallory_ ," interrupted Astrid, "can suck my dick. If she wants to be with a cheater, let her," she took a sip from her glass. "You reap what you sow."

"Alright, then." Heather copied her, opening the pizza box, "At least you broke his nose,"

Astrid grinned, and her wicked smile could have made a grown man tremble.

* * *

His head rested on the steering wheel for a couple of minutes before he gathered the necessary energy to face what was coming.

He grabbed his satchel and smiled at Toothless' insistent barking. His left boot dug into the drive oddly, and Hiccup stumbled, regaining his balance and shaking off the scare. He opened the front door.

Toothless jumped on him, front paws digging painfully on his chest and barking gleefully.

"Oof! Down, bud! Down!" pleaded Hiccup.

Toothless barked again, turning around Hiccup and making him stumble.

"Toothless!" he laughed. He followed the big, black dog into the living room, where his father was leaning over the fire, poking the logs into place with a stony expression on his face.

Hiccup's smile vanished. "Hey dad," he said, warily.

Stoick didn't even turn around, "Hello, son."

Hiccup shuffled, fingers tap-dancing over the straps of his satchel. Toothless waited for him at the foot of the stairs.

Finally, Stoick straightened, leaning the poker against the wall and sitting on the living room couch.

Sighing, the giant man fixed his gaze on the fire, but addressed Hiccup, "Your mother called while you were out."

' _oh…'_ "Right. I'll uh. I'll call her back." Hiccup cleared his throat. "Right then, I'll go out and then up- back upstairs I mean-"

"Yes," interrupted Stoick. "Good night son."

Hiccup nodded and walked through the house and out the back door. There wasn't much outside but a deck his father used to set up the grill when he was in a good mood, and a woodshed Hiccup used as a makeshift studio for his crafts.

Toothless tore into the cold grass ahead of him, but Hiccup took special care not to slip on the wet stones that led into the yard. He tottered through the dark, already regretting not bringing his glasses or a flashlight. He cursed his farsightedness.

He could barely see the outline of the shed in the moonlight, but he followed Toothless' guiding bark, and sighed in relief when his hands touched the wood.

Hiccup could hear whining from the inside, "Wait, bud. Stay alert," he asked, raising a hand, and Toothless stilled behind him.

The door of the shed squeaked. Hiccup made a mental note of oiling the bolts the next morning. His fingers reached for the switch and the light flickered on. The whine came from the corner of the room.

Hiccup approached the creature, crouching low and extending his hand, appeasing. "Hey, girl. It's alright. You're safe"

The dog, a mutt with a matted coat that once had been white zipped past him out into the damp fields.

Hiccup chased after it, and Toothless tore ahead of him barking at the mutt until it stopped and turned around to face him; an unexpected action as far as Hiccup was concerned.

He didn't know what sort of dog would dare to stand up against the big black wolfdog, but dare she did; the mutt was standing stiff, a snarl on her maw, lips curled up over fangs.

Toothless mirrored her position, flat hair fluffing up and claws digging into the grass. He towered over the mutt, and shot out a low, deep growl.

As a bystander, Hiccup could do nothing but wait with bated breath, and hope a fight wouldn't break out. He didn't want to butt in and upset the tension. He had the feeling of being an unwilling participant in a Mexican standoff.

Finally, the mutt lowered her head and avoided the wolfdog's glare, ears pulled back and tail between her legs. She flopped on the ground, offering her belly.

Hiccup sighed with relief. Toothless advanced, sniffing the mutt. Once his curiosity was satisfied, he gave a cheerful bark and ran back to Hiccup's heel.

The mutt followed, ambling in their direction, long hairy tail still between her legs.

Hiccup kneeled, both hands on display for the mutt to sniff. Toothless sat beside him, wagging his tail.

"That's right, girl, it's okay," he reassured the approaching mutt, and sat still as a statue as she sniffed his fingernails.

Hiccup moved a tentative hand over the mutt's back, giving it some soft pats. He tried to ignore the pangs of discomfort from his prosthetic.

Half an hour later, he had the mutt set up in the shed with one of Toothless' old cushions (he was truly spoiled, he knew,) and the bowls of water and food Gobber had set up for her were full again.

As he approached the home phone hooked onto the kitchen wall, he was both amazed and heartbroken at the dog's bravery and willingness to fight. He regretted hesitating taking her in.

The phone he'd dialed ringed but twice before his mother's voice shot through, "Henrik?"

"Hi, mum," he dragged the stool from the kitchen counter and sat down, minding the phone's cord.

"Henrik, love, how are you?" Metal utensils and a distant family's laughter clanged in the background. His mother was having dinner somewhere.

He sighed as he massaged his knee, "I'm alright. Is this a bad time?"

"No, no. You're alright. I'm out on a diner by myself, so you could keep me company."

"Sure," said Hiccup, reclining against the wall, a mocking smile on his face. "I'll teleport right away."

"Henrik," warned his mother, but he wasn't to be stopped.

"In fact, it's an innovative feature in my new prosthetic. I thought I'd let you know since you aren't here to see it."

"Henrik. We've talked about this."

Hiccup sighed in defeat. There was silence for a second, before he admitted, "I won a race today."

"Oh! That's…" she seemed at a loss for words. "That's great, dear- Are-are you sure it's wise?"

His pride prickled. "What do you mean?"

"I mean, doesn't it hurt? Your leg."

"My leg is fine." He affirmed, staring into the hallway. His father was observing him. Hiccup gave him a tentative, lopsided smile that Stoick returned before vanishing up the stairs.

"That's… that's good dear."

Hiccup tried for a different vein. "Gobber found a dog today out in the farming fields when he was looking at Sven's sheep."

"Did he?"

"She has a serious tick problem and needs some fattening but she'll be fine."

"That's great, dear."

Hiccup tapped his fingers on his thigh, racking his brain for something to say, but he wasn't coming up with anything.

Valka cleared her throat, "I had to dismiss someone from battle today."

His fingers stilled. A flicker of curiosity ignited, "Really?"

"Yes. The model's agent was a complete nightmare," Valka sighed. "She made the model uncomfortable and wouldn't hear of leaving."

"And then? What did you do?" He was 5 again, before things really went sideways, and his mother told him a bedtime story.

"Oh well…" Valka's guilt seeped into her voice. "There really wasn't much of a choice, it was a disastrous shoot."

Hiccup hummed. "Wasn't there a single picture worth saving? You always say-"

"I know," interrupted Valka, "and there were, the girl _was_ beautiful, but they just don't fit the theme of the shoot."

"Why don't you change the theme?"

"I-Well, that is-" Valka thought it over. "You know what? You're absolutely right."

"Glad I could help," a yawn sprouted over his face, he leaned out the kitchen's doorframe, checking on the front door's clock. It was past midnight.

Valka seemed to have come to this realization too: "What time is it over there? If it's dinnertime for me, it must be more than 11 at least?"

Hiccup settled in the stool again, his body feeling wearier than he'd thought it was. "It's past midnight, mum."

"Right then, I'll let you go to sleep."

"Good night, mum. Happy birthday."

"Sleep well, son. I wish I could hug you right now."

Hiccup bit back a retort about whose fault it was that she couldn't, "me, too."

Valka said goodbye once more before ending the call.

Hiccup let his arm fall to his lap, as he stared at the phone. He was never sure, after these calls ended, whether he hated them, or loved them.

* * *

Morning dawned on Astrid with a bit of a hangover and the smell of fresh coffee from the kitchen. She emerged from her room in her favorite pajamas and her phone in her hand.

Heather was whistling as she rinsed their glasses from last night. She took notice of Astrid lingering in the doorframe of her room. "Good morning, sleeping beauty!" she called with a smile, drying her hands on the black hand towel hanging next to the sink.

Astrid sighed, and sat down on the stools at the kitchen island they had in lieu of a dining table. She unlocked her phone again and checked on her 'friend' and ex-boyfriend's picture, and she saw many new comments. She let her head rest on her hands, and groaned.

Heather set a cup of coffee in front of the blonde girl, and got herself another, sitting in front of her, and taking a sip. "So?" she prompted.

Astrid shook herself, and took a sip of her own coffee, scowling, and reaching for the sugar jar. "I'm done with all this shit. I want to go somewhere else."

"Alright," allowed Heather, "but where would you go that they don't know Erik Cameron?"

Astrid thought as she took another sip of her coffee, now carefully sweetened. Heather was many things, but not a great judge of bitterness. Probably the reason they were friends.

She stood up, leaving her cup of coffee on the island, before she strode into her room, kneeling next to her bed and brought out her (only) box of personal items.

She dug around it for a minute before she found it. There, was a birthday card from when she turned eighteen.

The card itself was cheesy, green and pink, and it had a tune that had stopped working a couple of weeks ago, but Astrid had loved it for its loudness.

It read:

 _Astrid:_

 _Today (approximately, mind, I don't know how dependable your post service is), you turn eighteen. I remember when you were born it was one of the happiest moments of Ingrid and Asmund's lives, and one of mine. You were a wee bairn, but I reckon you've grown much bigger year after year._

 _My dear child, it's been a great many years since I've seen you, if you think you can avoid your good old auntie forever you're off your head! Please, please come visit whenever you can. Come and visit me and Finn and keep us company. We'll be here in Berk, with my arms wide open for you._

 _With love,_

 _Sigrid._

Astrid turned towards Heather, and knew she'd read her mind. She grinned, folding the card and went to the closet to pull out her suitcase.

* * *

 **This took me more than I thought it would! God. I'm so tired.**

 **I'll be using the notes to answer anonymous reviews here! Thank you everyone who read, favorited and followed!**

 **Guest chapter 1 . Apr 27**

 **Well that got awkward in a hurry . . .**

lmao i agree

 **Guest chapter 1 . Apr 27**

 **Great start! Loving the idea and story so far! Looking forward to more :)**

Thank you! Hope you like this chapter!

 **Astrid is finally going to Berk, and we see a bit more of the family dynamic at Hiccup's!**

 **Anyway, if you have any comments, please let me know with a review!**


	3. February pt 2

**Chapter 3: February** by **Jonny Carroll** part **2**

 _And I was running from recent regret_

 _Lookin' for a place to lay my heavy head_

* * *

The whole thing had seemed adventurous at first, but, as she was forced to buy a flight with an eight-hour layover in Edinburgh and seats in economy class, the logistics of the trip had made her doubt the soundness of the plan.

Then, she'd had to take a propeller plane (which at takeoff had rattled more than a Chihuahua on steroids) and a ferry, until finally she was cold, dizzy, and miserably waiting for her aunt in the docks of the Isle of Berk.

She was shivering, and almost at the point of regretting the trip, when she saw her aunt getting off the passenger seat of a tall, blond man's shitty white pickup truck.

Astrid stood up from the bench she'd been waiting in, hands hidden in her pockets.

Sigrid looked different from the last time she'd seen her. Her face was clearer of the devastating grief and the haunted look on her eyes, but she was still recognizable.

The older woman approached her like one would a nervous animal, until her meaty hands were on her shoulders. Astrid watched the woman's actions, expectant.

"Astrid?" she almost whispered, gaze traveling all over her face, searching for all the spots she could recognize. "Gods," Sigrid caressed her cheek with her trembling hand, "you look just like your father."

Astrid threw her arms around the stocky woman's torso, burying her head in the woman's neck, and everything was alright in the world for a second.

They separated, and her aunt laughed, releasing the tension.

Sigrid stepped back, clapping her hand on Astrid's shoulder, "well, come on then, grab your suitcase."

Astrid followed the woman's order, and under a minute they were back on the pickup truck. Her aunt had put Astrid in the middle of the seat, between the tall, blond man and Sigrid.

"Hi, there."

The man nodded back at Astrid in greeting, with a gentle, close-lipped smile on his big face, but said nothing.

Astrid turned to Sigrid, a question in her eyes.

"Oh, right." Sigrid laughed, "sorry, dear. This is Sven; he runs the vet clinic with Gobber. He says nothing so we call him Silent," and turned to face the road ahead, as the truck lurched into motion.

Astrid turned to the man again, "sorry, Mr. Silent. My name's Astrid."

Silent Sven smiled.

"He's pleased to meet you," translated Sigrid.

They'd driven for twenty minutes until they were finally at Sigrid's house, one in a row of three gabled roofed houses and nothing on the back but a grove that continued off to the right of the scenery and a large house in the distance.

"Do you see that big house there?" her aunt interrupted her thoughts.

Astrid turned to her, and barely had the presence of mind to wave Sven goodbye as he drove away.

Sigrid tapped her shoulder twice, setting Astrid's suitcase on the ground.

"Hmmm," Astrid followed her aunt's pointing finger, squinting, "Next to the grove?" the house itself was a little blurry, but Astrid could tell it was there, and that it was large and white, even if she couldn't make out the fine details.

"That's the house of the _Lawperson_ , he's my close friend," boasted Sigrid. Her stance was attempting to be proud, but it was still hesitant, and Sigrid watched for her reaction closely.

Astrid smiled because although she didn't know what a Lawperson was, she didn't want to make things awkward.

"Anyway, let's head in, shall we?" Sigrid grabbed her suitcase, her voice trailing off as she walked away and into the house "Gods, I'm so hungry, I could eat a _dragon_ …"

Astrid laughed at the odd choice of words, following her inside.

She took off her coat and hung it from the coat hanger, "where's uncle Finn?" she called out.

"He's at work, I think."

Astrid hummed, following her aunt's voice into the second floor. The first three doors were closed but the fourth was open.

The room was small, and bare of anything but the necessary furniture.

Sigrid had set her suitcase the bed and sat down next to it, hands on her lap, her fingers toying with the ring on her left hand. For such a big person, she sure looked small.

"Well," said her aunt, "it's not much, but it's yours for as long you stay."

Astrid sat down next to her, her head resting on Sigrid's shoulder. "Thank you. I'm…" She trailed off with a sigh.

"You should take a nap, child. I can wake you up for dinner, maybe?"

Astrid shook her head. "Thank you, but I think I'll just check my messages and go to sleep, if that's okay?"

"No problem at all," Sigrid stood up, offering Astrid her hand.

Astrid took it and squeezed her thanks.

Sigrid gave her a final smile and turned to walk away.

"Auntie!"

Sigrid turned around, Astrid-blond hair following her like a veil.

"What's your Wi-Fi password?" Astrid pulled out her phone, entering the settings and waiting for Sigrid's instruction.

A hearty chuckle made her look up. It was Sigrid. _Sigrid_ was laughing. At _her_.

"Oh, child," Sigrid looked at her like she'd just discovered Astrid was actually a puppy, "Do you really need it?"

Astrid frowned, nose scrunching up, "Yes?"

If Sigrid's smile hadn't been so good-natured, Astrid might have been a bit angrier.

"We don't have Wi-Fi here, nobody's ever home, but if you wait until tomorrow, we'll go somewhere you can use the internet," pacified Sigrid.

"I guess I'll just go to sleep, then," yawned Astrid, a frown still etched on her face.

* * *

Noon, the next day after Hiccup had taken the year-old mutt, Fishlegs had finally had time to go check her out. The half-sheared dog's coat had returned to white, and she was following Toothless around the living room, until Toothless got annoyed with her and barked, and the mutt settled down next to the fire, long tail wagging when she noticed the boys watching her.

Toothless climbed on the couch, knocking over the cushions, and curled, his body obviously too big for the furniture but not caring, glaring at Hiccup.

"So that's a yes?"

Fishlegs Ingerman, a heavyset boy with stringy blond hair hesitated, "I don't know how my Meatlug will react to another girl in the house."

Hiccup threw him an irritated look, " _Fish_ , Meatlug is the sweetest dog I've ever known. I _really_ don't think there'll be any problems."

When Fishlegs still hesitated, Hiccup sighed, setting a hand on Fishleg's shoulder, "At least help me take care of her? I can't take Toothless to the ranch with me every day."

Fishlegs frowned, "I thought you said he never chased after the horses?"

Hiccup moved over to where Toothless was sitting, and the dog turned around to set his heavy head on his lap. "He's alright when it's just Natt Fury or Nadder, because they're strong-willed and he doesn't want to be trampled, but he can't help chasing after the others," he set his hand on the dog's back, caressing Toothless' black hair and sighing in relief. "Besides, I don't think the tourists would appreciate a big black wolf tagging along."

Fishlegs was bending to reach the mutt, caressing her uneven coat. He considered Hiccup for a moment, before straightening and sighing. "I can keep her at the clinic during the day," he offered, "I'm sure neither Gobber nor Sven would say anything," Fishlegs giggled, "Specially Sven."

Hiccup grinned, "that'd actually be great! Thanks, Fish. I could go get her after I'm done at the ranch."

They chatted for another ten minutes before Fishlegs' mum called, and he had to let himself out, promising to bring back some of his mother's crab cakes when he came to bring back the mutt the next day.

Hiccup was staying in for the day. He'd already let Sigrid know he'd hurt himself, so she'd come around to help a bit.

He was grateful Gobber had agreed to care for his two favorite horses, Fury (that Hiccup rode) and Nadder (one of the horses Hiccup used for the tours), for the next couple of days, because the adventure of the night before had cost him an irritated stump.

Hiccup had wanted to take it off and go on using his crutch again, but he didn't want to tell Fishlegs about the dog running on him, so he'd had to scream internally through his visit.

He patted Toothless' head, and the dog licked his fingers.

He'd take the limb off in a minute. He just wanted to rest a little. He was a boneless lump in the coach, wondering when Sigrid would show up to make lunch, the warmth from Toothless and the fireplace lulling him…

The front door opening woke him.

Hiccup's hopes were answered when a bothered Sigrid could be seen from where he was sitting, shrugging off her coat and hanging it in the coat closet off the entry hall.

Toothless gave up his comfy spot on the couch to greet Sigrid, who was still in the hallway, and there was a curse half loud, half angry.

' _That didn't sound like Sigrid…'_ Hiccup blinked, his mind still booting up.

Sigrid laughed, "It's okay, really, he's just a big baby. Aren't you Toothless?" She bent and pampered the dog, hand scratching in that particular spot behind his ears.

Toothless wagged his tail, his tongue hanging from his mouth, eyes closed in bliss. He slid down to the floor, beyond the reach of Sigrid's hand.

Sigrid threw a bright smile at Hiccup, and he beamed back at her. She walked into the living room.

There was a huff coming from the hall. "It better not bite me," and, stepping carefully around the dog, came a girl.

Quilted pale blue coat and golden braided hair swung over her right shoulder. A grumpy expression on her face, and that stance only superheroes had. She was _gorgeous_.

' _If you offered to murder me I wouldn't say no'_ -gorgeous.

Hiccup straightened, any hint of sleepiness fading from his body. He cleared his throat.

"I'm going to make lunch and then dinner, Hiccup," interrupted Sigrid with a teasing smile, as she saw him sit straighter, "alright, there?"

"I-I'm alright, yes," he answered Sigrid, watching her walk out, presumably in direction of the kitchen, and turned to the beautiful girl, "Hello, my name is Hiccup. W-wait, no. I'm-I'm Henrik. Haddock, Henrik, Yes… that's better. Hi- What's uh…" He trailed off, wishing an earthquake would come and swallow him into an abyss.

"I'm Astrid." The girl had one eyebrow raised, and Hiccup had the feeling of being trapped in a cage with a panther as she walked around the opposite sofa to his and sat down.

"Astrid, you-uck" he choked on his own spit. "you must be Sigrid's nephew. I mean niece! Or something in between? Not judging, you know? Also, not that it's wrong to look masculine or feminine-umm… Feel free to stop me any second," he laughed weakly.

The girl had crossed one leg over the other, and looked around the room. "Do you have Wi-Fi?"

"I…" he faltered at her dismissal, his lips pursed in disappointment, "the modem's over there," he pointed at the bookshelves lining the wall opposite to the fireplace.

Astrid's eyebrow raised, but she got up to set the password in her phone.

Hiccup tapped his right foot as he thought of something to say.

Something brilliant. Something _charming_ and mysterious. Something that that Bond chap would say. He'd settle for sanguine.

' _Aha!_ ' "So, uh…" she turned to him, and his heart skipped a beat at the determined line of her back. "You're uh… You're Sigrid's niece, the model…"

So, he was a fan… She threw him a feeble smile, even if her heart wasn't in it.

Until he dared open his mouth again, "Didn't you also make a movie? Though I heard it was… it-uh…"

' _It was shitty._ ' She finished in her mind. She threw him a flat stare, "any other genius comments you'd like to make?"

Hiccup frowned, a tingling of irritation growing in him. "Well, you're not exactly _conducting_ this conversation."

She sat on the couch opposite to him, and glared, "I didn't know there was anything to conduct."

"I'm just trying to be polite."

"Okay," and she went back to her phone, and that was that.

She pulled up the picture Mallory had posted, trying her best to ignore the glare of the auburn-haired guy. Judging by the likes, the post had gone viral.

She checked the comments section, already anticipating bullshit.

There were many different messages, but the general idea was 'wasn't Erik Cameron dating Astrid Hofferson? He's definitely cheating on her.' And 'lol upgrade.'

She read on as she noted every single _brilliant_ conclusion the commenters were coming to. Her fans were planning a hate campaign against Erik and she wasn't sure whether she wanted them to continue or to stop.

She sent a quick message to her mother and Heather, though she added a bit more detail to Heather's, letting them know she was alright.

She sighed, blocking her phone, and started looking around the room. The big dog had followed Sigrid into the kitchen, and the guy sitting in front of her looked a bit unkempt, with the same tired look in his eyes as a student in finals.

Astrid was starting to dislike him. He evidently didn't get the clue that she wanted to be left alone.

If anything, he looked as uncomfortable as she was.

Well, she was a stranger in his home. _Why_ was she here again?

 _Oh_. Sigrid.

Sigrid would fix everything. "Why don't we go help Sigrid?"

"Why don't you go ahead? I'll follow you." He sank further into the couch, clearly not getting ready to follow her.

She stood up, crossing her arms, glowering, "Listen here, my aunt's here on no pay just to feed you. I don't care if you wanted to sleep in today, or if she's too nice to let you off, but you should at least try to help out!"

"I-I can't!" he fumbled helplessly.

Astrid huffed, "What do you mean, you can't? Or you won't?"

The guy glared at her, and started pulling up his pajama pants' left leg, showing a too shiny, too smooth a surface. His gaze never left hers.

He did something to it, and the prosthetic disconnected from the rest of the limb, and he moved it aside.

Astrid watched him, her jaw hanging slightly open and her cheeks burning.

The guy was still glaring at her, "I can't. Pass me my crutch?" he pointed behind her with his chin, as he started massaging his stump. He was missing his whole left foot and part of the shin.

Astrid whirled around, and went to the corner of the room, grabbing the crutch and bringing it back to him.

He was blushing. Two red splotches of color on his high cheekbones, "Thanks," he muttered, gaze fixed on his stump.

He extended his left hand to grab at the crutch, and she offered it hesitantly, watching him stand up.

"I'm… I'm sorry."

"It's alright." He wobbled past her, avoiding facing her, "let's go help Sigrid."

She grabbed at him, making him stop. "Hey, um…" she faltered, but she didn't let go.

The surprise in his face faded. "It's Henrik. Or Hiccup. Whichever's easiest."

"Hiccup. Henrik. I'm sorry, I didn't notice. I was in a bad mood and let it out on you." She let go, and he turned to face her fully.

"It's really alright," he offered her a smile that didn't completely reach his rich forest green eyes, and teetered out of the room.

Astrid followed. "What sort of name is Hiccup? Is it real?"

He laughed as they entered the kitchen. "In Berk, it is."

There was a loud bark and an equally loud curse.

* * *

After they helped Sigrid prepare the meals, had lunch, and then said goodbye to Hiccup, both woman set back to Sigrid's house, walking through the fields.

"So? What do you think?" prompted Sigrid about half the way back.

Astrid huffed and puffed, the altitude and the cold getting to her. "About?"

"Hiccup." Sigrid seemed hardly affected, and even her coat was thinner than hers.

Astrid stopped putting her hands on her hips, and Sigrid stilled next to her.

Astrid tried to take slower, deeper breaths. She threw Sigrid a harried look, "Why?"

"Why do I want to know?"

Astrid shook her head, swallowing. "No. I mean…" she hesitated. Should she ask? No. "I mean, yeah. Why do you need to know?"

Sigrid frowned, squinting at the wind. "Well, you might be seeing him a lot later."

Astrid cleared her throat, "I will?"

Her aunt chuckled, "well, yes. As much as I'm excited to have you here, I can hardly neglect my other duties so. You can't take a break from the animals." She examined Astrid, "you ready to go?"

"Yeah."

They started walking again, this time at a slower pace.

"You don't have to help, you know? With the horses... I'd just rather you weren't alone at the house for the whole summer." Sigrid tried to play it off, but Astrid wondered if she felt uneasy when she wasn't around to keep an eye on her.

Astrid bumped into her, a playful smile on her face. "What if I want to help?"

Sigrid smiled back at her, blond hair whipping around her face in the wind. "It's a lot, I'll warn you. It's the horses, and making sure Hiccup is fed. I can hardly take you out to sea when I have to, but you could call Finn, see if you could visit at lunch time at the offices, or walk around the town."

Sigrid sighed, "I wouldn't be surprised if you got so bored, you decided to go back. I'm sure it's not how you imagined spending the summer."

"I didn't," admitted Astrid, shrugging, "but I needed a change. And I missed you."

A brief, haunted look went through Sigrid's face before a frown took its place. "I missed you, too. The last time you were here. Not since Frieda," Sigrid choked, "and you've grown so much."

Astrid hooked her arm on hers, snuggling into her aunt's side, and together they kept walking.

* * *

 **Hello everyone! This chapter was a bit though to write as I made some changes to the plot. The initial interaction between Astrid and Hiccup was such a long process to figure out!**

Guest

This looks like it could be interesting. Hiccup as a horse racer, huh?

 **Uhuh! I wanted him to give him something he could be confident in, considering how everything in his life is so lonely, and it provides a connection i'll later reveal.**

Guest

Awsome chapter can't wait for the next one

 **Thank you! Hope you enjoyed it!**

Guest

Yasss the second chapter! Things are moving... love it!

 **They moved even more this time! Thank you!**

Guest

Ohhhhhhhh myyyyyyy gooooooooodddddd so GOOD!

 **Thank you!**

 **and I'm assuming (most probably correctly) that all these guests are all different people! Thank you for reading my story, and also thank you to those readers who don't review (no matter the reason) I hope someday something I write will make you _need_ to comment, but until then, please enjoy!**

 **Anyway, please let me know your thoughts with a review (honestly, any thoughts.)**

 **A small snippet onto Berk! it's unlikely that it'll be relevant to the plot, but i worked hard trying to figure it out, so...**

You'll see a lot of characters with two different names, and I want to stress, these two names are both legal! The willing annexation of the Isle of Berk into UK territory is relatively recent (there were lots of claims before that). The Berkians were very stubborn about their heritage but in the end it was simply more convenient to dissolve the chiefdom and transform the political model into a council headed by the Lawperson, (this happened during the time of Stoick's grandfather).

During these negotiations, the UK demanded Berkians change their names. Most of the Berkian names were honestly horrendous, but they were so close to their beliefs, the Berkians proposed the official ID have two sides. One side in Berkian (their first language but you'll see that later), and the other in English. In the Berkian side, they would be allowed to use their terrible names (in the rest of the world's opinion, mind), and this side of the ID could be used internally in the country, but for external procedures the English side had to be used.

Hence, Hiccup being called both Hiccup (in the Berkian side) and Henrik (in the other side)

This all came from me not deciding whether i could give him a modern name but also keep "Hiccup."


	4. Coastline

**Chapter 4: Coastline** by **Hollow Coves**

 _And there's a place that I've dreamed of_

 _Where I can free my mind_

 _I hear the sounds of the season_

 _And lose all sense of time_

* * *

Morning had her waking up at ass-crack o'clock in the morning. She blinked, eyes still bleary and stinging.

From the way she'd been sleeping since she'd gotten here, it seemed she'd never get tired of it, and she had intended to keep it that way if it wasn't for Sigrid: She had come in, tickling her awake, and Astrid had almost punched her out of reflex.

Now, both were climbing into her uncle Finn's red van, the three of them in that silence of a tired-as-fuck morning that a tomb would be proud of.

Finn, all tall and stocky, climbed on the driver's seat, and turned back to address Astrid, "Seatbelts, please."

Astrid and Sigrid followed his order. Finn started the van and started the drive down the island.

The murmuring of the radio host played in the background, switching and making references, using words Astrid didn't know existed.

"vil I se you i natten?" murmured Finn to her aunt, and Astrid barely heard it.

It was weird as if she was near a group of people talking to each other. Close enough to hear, but not close enough to understand properly.

"I'm going to the Haddocks," Answered Sigrid in English, her face cold and hard like stone.

Finn frowned, "I har already fortalt, I-"

"Han har ingen, Finn," interrupted Sigrid.

"So that må være you?"

There was silence. Astrid squirmed in her seat. She couldn't understand the language, but their voices were enough to understand they were fighting.

The van deviated from the highway to the town, moving instead into a road with a sign reading Haddock-something-ranch.

"Why ikke hans móðir do that?" said Finn, the resentment dripping from his voice.

"Han har ingen other enn me or Stoick," pleaded Sigrid, reaching for Finn's hand, "But he har never tóm for him."

"You kan ikke ersetzain Frieda with that kid, Sig!" barked Finn, and Sigrid's reaching hand became a fist, held close to her side.

"halt faen kjeft," Sigrid shot back, venomously, her arms crossing and shoulders shaking.

There was silence again, and Astrid fiddled with her braid. Should she say something? Change the subject?

Finally, Finn sighed, "I'm so jævla lei of the samme argument."

"So let's not have it," Sigrid tightened her arms over herself, like cowering from a chilly wind. "You're making Astrid uncomfortable. It's fugward"

Finn did a double-take, remembering Astrid was in the van. "Faen. Astrid, I'm sorry."

Astrid shrugged, not knowing what to say.

They drove for another half an hour, Astrid trying to ignore the diffusing tension, before the van started rolling to a stop.

There was an ornate metal door, with a brick wall extending further down the terrain. You could see the woods and mountains in the distance. The door looked old and heavy.

Sigrid sighed, did a search on her bag, and passed her a set of keys. "Why don't you start unlocking, dear?"

Astrid took them and jumped out the van, and walked to the big door, her eyes taking in detail she hadn't noticed before, like the slight rust at the bottom of the door, or the gold lettering running through the middle, like a belt.

She unlocked the door's several deadbolts and startled when the passenger door slammed behind her. Sigrid was walking towards her, bracing herself, with a forced smile on her face. Finn was already turning the van around.

"Alright there, dear?"

Astrid handed her the keys, "I'm alright. You?"

"I'm…" Sigrid shook her head, "I'm sorry you had to hear that."

"If it helps," said Astrid, trying to soothe her "I didn't understand much of it."

Sigrid returned her smile, this time a little more real, "let's go in, then," she walked ahead of Astrid and pushed the door in, waiting for her to enter before locking up again from the inside.

"Welcome," said Sigrid, with a grandiose gesture, "to the Haddock Horse Ranch."

The ranch was huge. What was closed at the front was open at the back, only limited by a wide river farther than she knew she could walk. Fairly near to the river was a house, and between both, a small horde of people could be seen having picnics. Tall figures ran after the smaller ones frantically and pulled them back to their own areas.

' _How are there so many people and no cars? What…?'_

Sigrid laughed, "that's the visitor's area, we came through the other side."

Astrid felt her cheeks burn, "What?"

"Look nearer, child. Do you see here?" Sigrid pointed to their left, her other arm encasing her niece.

There was a corral, where a tall, stocky man was leading a horse at a trot around him. Beyond that, there was a large enclosed area where a considerable amount of horses was feeding from the ground. Two thin, tall figures were circling them, making sure it all went well, Astrid guessed.

To their right, they passed a short, sturdy-looking guy shoveling hay in violent scoops, and murmuring:

"-ikke min fault if han har that stupid leg; han kan ikke boss me around, that _fucking_ pikk."

Sigrid patted his bent back, laughing. "Classy, Snotlout."

 _Snotlout_ jumped as if he'd been burned. "Sigrid! Haha, you're…! _hey_ " his tone changed from nervous to a suggestive velvet as he set eyes on Astrid. "Have we met before, gorgeous?" he said, a smirk on his face and his gaze raking up and down her body.

Astrid recoiled in disgust. "No. Let's keep it that way."

Snotlout was probably about to let out another charming line when the horse trainer called him from the corral, and Snotlout ran, leaving the women behind.

Astrid watched him go with a mild mix of confusion and revulsion.

Sigrid was laughing again at Astrid's face, "oh, he's harmless, he just doesn't have much in the way of manners."

"Or self-awareness," added another voice. "Hi, Sigrid. Hi again, Astrid."

It was Hiccup.

Hiccup-she-had-stolen-Wi-Fi-from-and-then-insulted Hiccup.

"Hi," replied Astrid, stuffing her hands in her coat. "Is he always so slimy?" she nodded to the guy, who was chatting with the horse trainer, flexing his biceps.

"Snotlout?" Hiccup sniggered, "only when he sees pretty-" he caught himself, "er… pretty much anyone." Hiccup cleared his throat, a pink stain contrasting with his freckles.

He turned to address Sigrid, "Stormchaser had her foal!"

Sigrid gasped, "already? I thought we were looking at another week?"

"Happened yesterday, no complications so far," he explained, him and Astrid following after an almost striding Sigrid.

Hiccup was beaming. The happiness set off his pretty green eyes.

Astrid frowned, looking away from him.

Sigrid was already at the stables, "Gobber! Oh, no, it's you Fiske!" She clapped a heavy hand on Fiske's shoulder, "sorry, thought you were Gobber."

"Mrs. Hofferson! I assisted with the birth, I hope that's okay." Fiske was almost shaking with nervous energy. Astrid didn't know for sure if he was afraid or happy.

If she had to compare him to an animal, she would have chosen a purse dog. Except Fiske was bigger, at least bigger than Sigrid herself, and looked infinitely more harmless than a Shih Tzu.

Sigrid reached around Fiske and gasped, "Oh! Come look, dear!"

Astrid bypassed Hiccup, nodding to Fiske in greeting and went to stand next to Sigrid.

The horse, a beautiful gray mare was resting in the hay, and the foal had stood up, making strange, high pitched noises that Sigrid responded.

They were truly adorable to look at, but Astrid found that her mind kept turning to Hiccup, him fixing those green eyes on hers as he removed his leg the day before.

She took advantage of everyone's distraction with the horses to sneak a look at him, only to meet his gaze.

Her heart hopped in her chest, and she looked away, fast as lightning. _'Shit.'_

She gave a comment on the foal before daring another look, but he had moved along deeper into the barn, some three stalls away.

She watched him. His hand was stretching into the pen, and his lips were moving.

Astrid glanced at Sigrid and Fiske, but both were still occupied, so she stuffed her hands in her coat's pockets, her pride back inside her, and approached Hiccup.

"Hey."

Hiccup startled, and backed away, hitting his head in the wood behind him and yelping.

There was a snort from the stall, and Astrid backed away when she noticed the figure barely hiding in the dark. A horse's head came out to greet her, sniffing her.

Hiccup seemed to notice her alarm, and he rushed to place his hands on the horse's snout. "It's okay, it's just my cheeky horse." He said to her, but he focused on the horse, caressing its black long shiny mane.

"Right," said Astrid, not quite rid of the unease.

The horse must have been satisfied with the attention because it retreated into the darkness. Hiccup watched him go fondly.

Astrid coughed. "So… Hiccup."

His head whipped around fast enough to show his eagerness, but his eyes and his voice soon turned guarded. "Yes?"

"I just wanted to say, yesterday…. That is…" she coughed, pretending to remove dust off her coat. "Well. Actually, this morning…"

"You want to ask about the leg?"

"What?"

"I…" He shook his head. "Nevermind."

Astrid frowned. "I'm not asking about the leg."

Hiccup shrugged, a blotchy blush on his cheeks. He turned away from her, facing the stall again, an absent look in his eyes. "Yesterday, you said you were sorry only when you noticed."

She reached to him again, squeezing his arm, "Hiccup. It wasn't about the leg."

He shot a tentative look at her. "It wasn't?"

Astrid gave him a flat stare, and the corner of his lips raised a bit showing his gap-toothed smile. He looked a bit foolish. Astrid released his arm, ignoring her heartbeat.

"Okay." He agreed. "Not about the leg."

Astrid stuffed her hands into her coat's pockets again. "Look: I'll be spending time with Sigrid, _probably_ in your vicinity, so we should start over, right?"

"Alright," Hiccup gave her another of his foolish smiles, extending his hand to her, "let's try to get on, then."

Astrid shook his hand, sealing the truce. A tingle went from her fingertips to the rest of her.

"Lookie! What've we got here?"

Both Hiccup and Astrid jumped away from the other as if someone had thrown a snake between them.

"Gobber!" called Hiccup, not only his face red, but also the tip of his ears.

Gobber was a short, pudgy man with straggly blond hair and a strong Scottish accent. Astrid stared at him as he kept laughing, placing his hand and _was that a… hook?_ on his belly.

She crossed her arms, trying to suffocate the embarrassment.

"Oh, I'm sorry, lad." He said with fake sincerity, a teasing, toothy smile peeking behind his handlebar mustache, "I didn't mean to interrupt your _hand-holding_."

"It wasn't hand-holding." Hiccup crossed his arms, like her. He kicked the gravel with his left boot, digging the tip in.

Astrid extended her hand, arm shooting towards Gobber. "I'm Astrid. Astrid Hofferson."

Gobber shook it with his non-hook hand. "Astrid? You must be Sigrid's niece!"

"I am," she confirmed, offering a polite smile.

"How are you liking Berk, lass? How did you like the Point?"

Astrid shot a questioning look at Hiccup, and thankfully he came to the rescue.

"Raven's Point." He turned to Gobber, "she hasn't been on the tour yet."

"The tour?" Astrid looked between the men, hoping one would explain.

"The tour! On horseback!" Gobber scratched his chin with his hook, a raised eyebrow and a quizzical look at Hiccup.

Hiccup sighed, "I was about to ask her."

"Ask who what?" Sigrid joined the conversation, wiping her hands on her shirt.

"The tour- Astrid." Hiccup looked like he seriously needed one of them to just listen.

Sigrid snapped her fingers, "Oh! I'd forgotten!" she looked apologetically at Hiccup. "Your leg's alright?"

Hiccup shrugged, "it's well enough for the tour."

"Alright. _Enough_. WHAT TOUR?!"

All three Berkians looked at Astrid as if she'd grown another head on her nose.

Hiccup recovered first, already having been at the end of her temper. "It's- uh…" he cleared his throat, "-a tour. On horseback. That we offer the visitors of the ranch. Sigrid asked me to take you."

Astrid turned to Sigrid, " _You_ did?"

Sigrid nodded, a feeble smile on her face, "I know Hiccup will be careful. Especially with you."

"I will," agreed Hiccup, sharing a glance with Sigrid, an earnest look to his face.

Gobber shrugged, "I'll leave you to the details." He walked off to join Fiske who was waiting eagerly for him.

Astrid nodded at him as he passed, but turned back to the others quickly. "When is this? And where to?"

"Uhh… today? And it's half-way up Raven's Point. Three hours in total."

"What do you think, Astrid? I'll just be looking after Stormchaser today, you'll get bored quickly."

Astrid exchanged looks with Sigrid, who nodded at her to encourage her, and with Hiccup, who only shrugged.

"Okay. I'm in. What should I do?"

Hiccup grinned at her. "Wait here. I've got to change my leg."

Half an hour later Hiccup and Sigrid had both explained how to sit on a saddle and then helped her up a horse.

"Y-your behind has got to be sitting square on the saddle, remember?" stammered Hiccup, one hand curled around the reins and the other hesitating behind her.

Astrid straightened her back and squirmed. "It is!" Nadder, the horse she was currently sitting on shifted her weight from one leg to another.

Hiccup gave her a tired look. "It is now. And remember tips out, heels parallel. I've got to say though," he smiled, looking up at her, "your posture is fantastic. Now, don't move," he instructed, letting go of the reins, and mounting his horse, a black stallion he called Natt Fury, in less than half a minute.

Nadder, a gray-colored mare was shifting under her. She threw a helpless look at Hiccup, but he only grinned in response.

"You'll be alright. We'll go slow." He made a clicking noise that Astrid repeated and the horses started out the back doors Sigrid and Gobber were keeping open for them.

"Hiccup! Don't forget to pick her up later at the clinic!" Fiske called out to them as they left.

"I won't!" reassured Hiccup.

Astrid tried to disguise her curious look, but Hiccup had already caught it.

"It's a dog. I'm picking her up at the vet's later," he answered her unasked question.

"Another one?" She remembered the black monster she'd seen at his house the previous night. _Toothless?_ That thing was anything but that.

Hiccup laughed at her expression. "Not like Toothless. It's a stray we're taking care of. Fishlegs took her to the clinic yesterday."

Astrid nodded, though she didn't quite understand and she didn't know this Fishlegs person.

The two rode in silence, Hiccup occasionally stretching his arm to pat at the black horse's mane.

They were soon entering a road not commonly used, judging by the unkempt look of it and the wild-flowers growing over the edges of the asphalt.

"You're alright?" Hiccup called back to her after almost an hour, his body only half-twisting to look at her.

"I'm fine!" Astrid made sure she had been following his instructions. _Back straight, tips out, heels at the sides and don't dig in._ Check.

They kept going up the road for at least ten minutes before the trees started to sink in the ground and the air became even chillier.

Ahead, the road tapered off into a smaller trail. Astrid thought Hiccup would veer left to another, wider and better-kept trail, but he called back at her.

"Astrid, remember how to halt?"

Astrid confirmed this.

"Do it now."

He gave the command to his own horse, and Astrid repeated his actions, but while Hiccup's horse stopped a bit ahead, Astrid's Nadder had turned to face the opposite direction and was slowly turning back around.

Astrid tried her best not to let on how hard her heart was beating at the unexpected outcome.

Hiccup dismounted and approached the mare where she could see him, and his voice raised to a mild, but authoritative command. "Nadder, halt."

The mare stopped, and Hiccup grabbed the reins, looking up at Astrid. "You're alright?"

She couldn't help but let out a relieved smile.

Hiccup blushed but offered her a hand to dismount.

Astrid ignored his hand, relying in the saddle, but when she placed both feet on the ground, she stumbled, her legs unusually wobbly, and she came crashing against Hiccup.

His arms grabbed at her shoulders, keeping her up until she adjusted.

"Sorry," she said, and she didn't know whether her faster-beating heart was due to the adrenaline or something else.

He was taller than her. She hadn't really noticed before.

Hiccup stepped back, the blush extending in his face. "You're alright. Uh… follow me. It's not the normal tour, but I dare say you'll love it here."

Astrid, still adjusting to the soreness shuffled after him.

He grabbed Nadder's reins and started to walk off the road, straight into the short grass.

"Hiccup? Your-" but she stopped. She was about to remind him of his own horse, but it had trotted ahead of the group, onto the empty field.

He smiled reassuringly at her, "He likes the freedom to run about."

After a good bit of walking, he released Nadder as well, and she cantered off a small distance away from them.

He guided them to a flat rock nearby and motioned for her to sit.

She lowered herself on her crossing legs. The rock was soft and wide enough to fit both of them comfortably.

"Sigrid wanted me to show you this place."

She turned to look at him. His gaze was on the horizon, but his mind seemed to be years away. "She did?"

"Yeah." He looked down to his extended hands that lied on his lap for a good second before looking back at her. "Coming here… it's hard for her, but it's very special." His gaze went back to the horizon.

Astrid followed, and she had to admit: it _was_ beautiful. The forest to the right blocked the view, but far east, Astrid could see the sloping fields, a distant barn-looking structure, and the sea.

Extending infinitely and glittering in the morning sun.

She felt transported to a simpler time she had never experienced.

It was peaceful and beautiful.

In the silence, her mind went back to this morning's fight, and she remembered what she meant to ask Hiccup earlier.

"Hiccup, what's _'fuckward'_?"

He startled, " _fuckward_? Don't you mean _fugward_?"

Her cheeks burned, "yeah. Sure. That."

He laughed, and she was sure there was something patronizing in his lips.

"Whatever," she looked away from him, frowning. "I was just curious."

"No, no," he tried, but he was still smiling. "It's only… -Where did you hear this?"

Astrid shrugged, still not looking at him, "it's just something my aunt said this morning."

Hiccup shook his head, grinning, "it's Berkian for _'awkward'_."

Astrid nodded. That made sense.

They stared at the view until Astrid interrupted the silence again.

"You're… fairly close to my aunt."

"Yes…?"

"Do she and uncle Finn fight a lot?"

Hiccup threw her a sideways glance. "Define _, 'fight'_ and _'a lot'_ , please. What's this about anyway?"

She shivered, her gaze fixed in the grazing horses. "They… had a fight this morning. It was about going to your place for dinner."

"Oh," Hiccup grimaced, "I… I never wanted them to fight, but…" he sighed, "Sigrid takes care of me, and Finn doesn't like it much."

"That makes sense," she shrugged, "but why does she take care of you?" she tightened her coat over her body.

Hiccup didn't answer.

"I don't mind it," she quickly amended when she caught Hiccup's expression, "but I just don't understand it. Where are your parents? Can't they take care of you?"

Hiccup shrugged, the grimace persistent on his mouth, as he faced the horizon. "Mum's… not around. Left to chase her dreams or something. Dad's busy keeping Berk afloat… I think Sigrid knows this. She's taken care of me since my mum left."

"I _am_ thankful," he continued after a pause, "I never want them to fight but…" He gave a short, sour laugh, "It's only… -I do have friends, but it's not the same. I only really have Sigrid." He laughed more openly, then, "I'm sorry. I'm sure I'm not making any sense."

Astrid thought back to the day of the photoshoot with Valerie the wonder-photo machine. "No, I think I get it. I know what you mean."

He looked at her, eyebrows raised.

She could almost hear him thinking.

"I only have my best friend, Heather," she explained, stuffing her hands in the pockets of her coat.

"Really? Didn't you secretly hate each other?"

She shrugged, the beginnings of a smirk on her lips, "Only at first."

"Wow. The media really _is_ lying to us. What other secrets do you have?"

Astrid laughed, pushing him so he wobbled almost off the rock.

"I'm just saying," teased Hiccup, raising his hands in fake surrender.

"Whatever." She gave a happy sigh, taking her hands off her pockets and leaning back.

Hiccup mirrored her position, and they both went back to appreciating the nature.

' _This,'_ she thought, _'I could get used to.'_

* * *

 ** _A/N:_**

This chapter takes us up into the magical mountains of Berk! I had much more planned for this chapter but it would run a little long and I decided it fit thematically better with the next chapter than in here (this includes a full written scene with Valka.)

Next chapter will be called High Five (a song by a singer named *gasp* Sigrid! Purely coincidental, I promise) I dare you to find the part of the lyrics I'll be using! and do enjoy the song, she's a fantastic singer.

Now ON to answering Guest comments!

 **Guest**

 **Looks like you have 3 unfinished stories. as long as you finish this one I'd be happy to read, it's a good one.**

Thank you, Guest! I do have 3 unfinished stories, but I have by no means abandoned them. I will explain why so to quell your fears.

The first one is called "The Road Back Home" which I started to write mainly on a whim without much thought or planning. Halfway into the story I realized how badly structured it had been and it, combined with a review made me reconsider my story, and the spell was sort of broken. I still have the last 4 chapters needed to complete the story planned, but I'm just taking a break from it. I even have a sequel and a prequel planned now, and I'm thinking on going back to edit once I'm done with it.

The second one is called "The Secret Life of Daydreams" wich is a Regency AU that I also wrote as a teasing one-shot and then continued without much planning. I'm thinking of editing the historical innacuracies out and starting it again with a much clearer plot.

You must be wondering why I wrote all of this? Well: It's different with Riptide. I knew from the start where and how I want the story to go, and I did plenty of world-building and planning before I even planned the chapters, and it just feels much more real in my head. I won't abandon my stories, but it's much easier to write Riptide when my ideas are so much more clearer, and the story is much more structured.

 **Guest**

 **I wonder how Hiccup lost his leg in this story? And how recently it happened?**

A hommage was done to your comment, but it's just not the right time to reveal it, although I promise it's not just a throwaway thing. As for how recent, for now I'll just say he's had plenty of time to get used to it!

 **Guest**

 **Great story so far would love to see a chapter in Astrid's mum's view to see what she thinks of Astrid going to berk as that would give us more insight into her character but whatever's fine and can't wait for next chapter.**

I'm sorry about that, but a scene for that purpose was one of the ones cut for next chapter, so hopefully you'll be happy to read it then! I'll just say one thing: Ingrid is not exactly excited.


	5. High Five

**Chapter 5: High Five** by **Sigrid**

 _Oh, everybody loves a show_

 _Lights on, they all go home_

 _You won't let anybody close_

 _That high five is all you got_

* * *

Shit finally hit the fan that night.

And it happened as she was sitting in Hiccup's sofa, as he tried to talk to her about something.

Her feet tapped on the floor with nervous energy, as she waited for yet another page to load, pictures and all. It would be easier (and faster) with her data but if she used her phone plan now her bill would go up by God knows how much, and she wasn't really willing to find out. She'd already blown up a part of her savings in this spontaneous trip.

The internet was slower in Berk, and it seemed only little precious spots even had a network set up.

Astrid sighed in relief as the bar finally completed its loading process. It had taken longer than expected.

Hiccup said something again, but Astrid hummed noncommittally. She would not be distracted.

The moment Astrid had waited for since she'd seen the picture in her friend Mallory's Instagram page.

The article showed her pictures of her recent ex-boyfriend caught out unaware on a date with Mallory. His face looked spotless, but despite whatever concealer and foundation they used, Astrid still knew. She knew her Erik's face. She'd seen enough photos of him, and she could tell his precious nose was still a bit swollen.

He was throwing his hand out to attempt to block the picture, while Mallory's pearly teeth glimmered like a jewelry store in the direction of the photographers.

There were other photos in a more intimate setting taken from her friend's Instagram account. The kind that makes ultra-conservative parents install child filters: not porn-grade raunchy but not entirely innocent either.

Mallory was going full-speed.

She scrolled past the pictures to read the lines below it.

 _Click click click_ "-Astrid?"

It was Hiccup, standing by the doorframe that would take him into the kitchen. His prosthetic made a soft _click click click_ as he tapped it on the floor, now he'd taken his shoes off.

"Sorry." Astrid turned her phone over on her lap. "What does your mom do, again?"

He sighed, an unimpressed look on his eyes and decidedly down-turned lips, "I gave up on actually talking twenty minutes ago. I was letting you know I'm helping Sigrid finish dinner."

"Okay." She half-expected him to ask her to come along, but he didn't, and she watched him go, with a hint of a weird snake-like emotion raising its slimy head in her heart.

She didn't know how much of it if any was regret and how much was guilt.

She'd deal with it later. For now, she had just found out Erik had been dropped from a teen romantic comedy series he'd been cast on.

Another clichéd boy-meets-girl high school romance, but the rest of the cast was full of rising stars. Erik had been announced as the lead, but he'd been dropped because of the scandal.

Apparently cheating on your girlfriend wasn't children-network friendly.

Erik was losing his kingdom.

Astrid didn't try her best to keep the reveling smirk off her face.

In fact, she didn't try at all.

* * *

Sigrid threw him a shrewd, knowing look as he entered the kitchen with a frown.

He wove around her, reaching for pans, spatulas, and spices and handing them to her as soon as she threw any of them an intent look.

Perhaps mercifully, Sigrid didn't address his silence.

Closing the oven with a satisfying pop some twenty minutes later, Sigrid leaned back on the counter, her hands massaging the sides of her hips, sighing in comfort.

Hiccup looked at her for a moment, his fondness for the older woman turning sour when he remembered what Astrid said in Frieda's field.

He tried to hide his reaction by turning and starting on the dishes, but not uncommonly, Sigrid caught on to him.

"Child. What's the matter?"

Hiccup turned around, drying his hands on his jeans. "Sigrid, I… You should stay home tomorrow."

"Tomorrow?" Sigrid walked around him and continued the dishes. "You'll be alone tomorrow."

He made a feeble attempt of taking over the task, but Sigrid moved the plate she was scrubbing out of his reach.

A fleeting suspicion entered her mind. "Unless… you want to be alone?" She elbowed his side, a teasing smile on her lips, and an expressive look on her eyes, "Want to bring a lass over and don't want _interruptions_?"

Hiccup laughed airily, the tips of his freckled ears tinging pink. "Sigrid! Shut up. Your brain needs a good wash."

She placed the pan on the dishrack and turned to him, "Hiccup Haddock!" she said with fake outrage, "I'm shocked, I only meant watching a movie! By Mjolnir, your father will hear about this behavior."

He tried to be stern with her, but he was too amused to achieve it. "My father, who's coming home tomorrow night, so I won't be alone tomorrow."

She said nothing for a moment, looking into his pleading eyes, and she remembered it with the speed of lightning. 9 years old in a bed in Berk's only hospital, fresh tears in his big green eyes that begged her not to leave him.

Now, he was begging her to leave him.

Sigrid crossed her arms, fingers tapping her sides, "Where are you coming from?"

He sighed, he glanced at the doorframe and looked back at her, guilt swimming in green. "Denne morgun. The fight. Det er min byrðr. It would be best if you stopped coming so often."

"Oh, Hiccup…" Her voice trembled as she rested a comforting hand on his shoulder. "It's not… You don't…"

He shook his head, his hand coming up to rest on top of Sigrid's. "It would be best." His determined gaze settled on her face.

She could detect a hint of pleading in there. She took a step back, arms crossing again and she released a shaky breath, "I'm still checking up on you."

He gave her a heartening smile, "And you'll see me at the race on Frigg's day and at the ranch."

Both startled when they heard Astrid raising her voice outside.

They exchanged looks before Sigrid took off her apron. "Watch the oven, I'll go check on Astrid."

"Right."

Sigrid couldn't find her in the living room, so she followed the sound. Astrid's voice _carried_.

"-still printing my pictures?! because you _begged_ her?! _God_ , mom!" Astrid was in the driveway, kicking the gravel, as she held her phone close to her ear.

Sigrid didn't make her presence known. She hadn't meant to eavesdrop but…

Astrid scoffed, "everything we've worked for? I never wanted this!"

Ingrid's voice came through squeaky and outraged, but Sigrid couldn't make up what she was saying.

Astrid paced, scoffing or mocking whatever it was that Ingrid said.

She still hadn't noticed Sigrid by the front door, nor Toothless peeking his large hairy head out the door to investigate the noise.

Astrid stopped, her body froze, and her voice came out icy. "Dad _never_ let us starve. He got a job he _hated_ and then he died. You _ruined_ him."

She started pacing again. Ingrid was shouting, but Sigrid was still too far away to hear clearly.

"No," interrupted Astrid, her voice sure and definitive, "It's you who can't let go. And Sigrid's not a coward. I'm coming back in time to prepare for September."

Ingrid started shouting something else, but Astrid ended the call, shoving her phone in her pocket.

Astrid began to rage, cursing loudly and stomping.

Sigrid decided it was getting a bit out of hand. "Astrid?" she called softly.

Astrid stopped, panting "Auntie!" She shook off imaginary dust from her coat. "Did… did you hear?" she started walking back to the front door.

Sigrid was wearing a smile, but it didn't reach her eyes. "Hear what?"

Astrid waited. But Sigrid didn't waver, she snaked an arm around hers, and walked on.

"How do you feel about working as a receptionist?" said Sigrid as they went inside together.

* * *

Once Hiccup's jeep vanished down the road to the town, Toothless taking Sigrid's spot as co-pilot, Astrid walked ahead Sigrid and stopped, blocking the door.

Sigrid patted her shoulder with a smile before trying to walk around Astrid, but Astrid blocked her again.

Sigrid halted and started playing with her keys. "What's the matter? Don't you want to go inside?"

"I know you heard." Her lips settled in a determined line.

Sigrid sighed, her hands stilling. "I just didn't know that's what she thought of me. I thought Ingrid of all people should understand…"

"Oh… I…" Astrid stared at her.

"It's alright, child. I'm just..." Sigrid smiled weakly, took a step to the side, and continued walking.

Astrid followed. "I'm sorry," she offered, as Sigrid unlocked the front door.

"Don't you worry. It's a problem between Ingrid and I and-" she pushed the door open, "well... it doesn't matter much now, does it?"

Astrid received Sigrid's jacket and hung it on the coat rack along with hers.

Sigrid pulled her head gently, closer to her and pressed her lips on Astrid's hairline. "Goodnight, scrawny."

"Scrawny?!"

Sigrid laughed as she walked upstairs. Astrid was hot on her tail.

* * *

Morning that Wednesday saw Astrid climbing on Finn's van and staring out the window.

Droplets of rain were splattering on the windows and sliding out of sight. Astrid wasn't sure how she felt about the silence. It was definitely the comfortable kind and a great improvement from the fight the day before.

Finn and Sigrid weren't talking, but they sent the other hopeful glances when they weren't looking.

It made Astrid smile. As the van sped away from the side road they'd taken the other day, it struck her like a train.

"Wait. We're not going to the ranch?"

"Not today, child," called Sigrid from the passenger's seat. "We're helping at the vet's today and tomorrow."

Astrid straightened on her seat, "what about the horses? And Hiccup?"

"I think," grunted Finn, "the lad can take care of himself just fine."

"Let's not talk about this," asked Sigrid. "besides," she looked at Astrid through the rearview mirror, "the vet's office has the internet. Silent Sven likes to practice his French pronunciation on a website when it's quiet."

Astrid was about to be smart- _how do you practice…_ but something called to her. _The internet_ , she'd said…

"Okay!" she could finally call Heather. Being at Hiccup's was fine, but it was hard to demand privacy in someone else's home.

By mid-morning, Astrid was bored. With uncle Finn working away in his office at the fishing company a couple of blocks away, Sigrid and Sven in the back and no clients so far, she was more than bored.

Any minute longer in this manner and she was sure they'd be planning her funeral. She'd be bored to _death_.

She'd had her breakfast, she'd texted Heather, but it was still early morning in New York, and Heather probably wasn't even awake yet.

She'd checked the news to see what people were saying about her and Erik, but there was only so much that could be recycled without new information.

She'd fended off a message from her mother that had finally learned about her breakup, and warned her to think about the media's reactions and how to make it work for her reputation. Good to know her 3-year quasi-relationship ending was only relevant for what Astrid could get out of its end.

Astrid sighed swiveling on her stool.

The door to the back area, where the animals were kept swung open with a whine, and Silent Sven came out, holding a medium-sized gray dog, and placing it on the counter. Astrid inched away from both and was about to ask what he was doing when the front door jingled open.

"Sven!" called a large boy with straggly blond hair with a cheery, shy smile on his face. It was Fiske, from the ranch the day before.

Silent Sven nodded and took out a blue harness and leash set, that he handed Fiske.

Fiske took it, and finally noticed Astrid, now cautiously swiveling. "Oh! Miss Astrid!"

She took his offering hand and shook it. Attempting a pleasing smile. "You don't have to call me miss."

Fiske recoiled, "Oh! Right! I'm so sorry, and… um… you can call me Fishlegs if you like."

"Is that your weird Berkian name?"

There was an impatient tapping noise, and both turned to look at Sven, who had raised an eyebrow.

"Oh!" Fishlegs hurried back to the taller man, and started to fit the squirming dog with the harness, "I'm sorry, Sven!"

"Is this your dog?" Astrid edged forward, a hand stretching in curiosity.

"No, no. Just taking her for a walk to the park." Fishlegs moved the dog's legs back and forth, making sure it was comfortable.

Astrid straightened, interested. "Can I go with you?"

There was a breathy, quiet laugh that almost shocked her.

But it reminded Astrid that she was at work.

She deflated, resigned to her fate while Fishlegs let out a high-pitched "uuuuh…"

Sven tapped on her shoulder and nodded at Fishlegs.

Fishlegs fidgeted, but brightened considerably "Oh! Alright! Let's go then, miss."

Astrid jumped off her stool, thanked Sven, and was out the door in under a minute.

The dog seemed as excited as Astrid was to get to the park, and was pulling Fishlegs along, deceptively strong for its size.

The park was really a good block of trees filled with trails and a sidewalk surrounding it. Astrid followed Fishlegs in and they walked in silence for a while, but she could tell Fishlegs was just dying to ask.

He hesitated and looked at her when he thought she couldn't see him.

Finally, Astrid stopped next to a beech tree, and Fishlegs stopped with her, puzzled.

"Alright Fishlegs, what is it?"

The dog took the opportunity to sniff here and there, and crouching to mark its territory.

"Uh… I just… I wanted to ask…" Fishlegs wringed his hands, a mild frown appearing on his face.

"yes…?" pushed Astrid.

He took a deep breath before his words came out like a river. "I'mjustwonderingifyouactuallyknowsomeone!"

She tried not to laugh, "can you say that again?"

Fishlegs opened his eyes wide, and his voice stumbled, "I… I'm just a fan of…" his voice became squeaky, "uh… Heather Osvaldson-Bergserk?"

"Heather!" Astrid laughed, "she's my best friend."

"Oh!" Fishlegs turned even redder, and his voice cracked, "I thought she was your rival?"

"That's what the media says." Astrid shrugged, and continued to walk. Fishlegs, bless him, almost tripped over his feet in his eagerness.

"So, what is she like? Oh, I went to see her once, but the acoustics were terrible." Fishlegs seemed lost in memories, "Personally, my favorite of her performances was on the promotional showcase they did on the street. The sound still evaporates but her voice carries _such_ feeling…"

Astrid smiled, "I'll make sure to pass that along."

Fishlegs recoiled, "sorry, is that weird? I just love her voice so much…"

"Mheeeh… not really, it just shows you have great taste."

He brightened considerably at this.

"Let's stop here," she announced, and sat down on a tree stump.

"S-stop? But…" he stammered.

"The dog wants to run around," Astrid nodded at the dog, as it pulled on the leash, "take off her leash."

Fishlegs shook his head, "I can't. She's not trained yet. Hiccup would kill me."

"What's this deal with the dog, anyway? Hiccup says it's not his, and you say the same."

"We rescue them. Well, we mostly take in strays…" Fishlegs picked up the dog, concern written on his face. "I'm becoming a vet, so I follow Gobber around. We found this one on Sven's fields."

"Silent Sven?"

"What? Oh! No, no." assured Fishlegs as he caressed the dog's fur, "Loud Sven's. He's Silent Sven's brother."

A conspiratorial glimmer ignited in Astrid's eyes, and she leaned in Fishleg's direction, "listen, Fishlegs, is 'Silent' Silent Sven's real name? I'm very confused so I only call him 'sir'. I need this information pronto."

Fishlegs giggled, "oh, not at all. Their parents just had a lot of boys, and named them all Sven."

"Oh…" Her eyebrows settled into discomfort.

"Life's simple here in Berk." Fishlegs sat on the ground near her, and released the dog, though he kept the leash on. "What's life like in the United States?"

"I don't know what it's like for others, but…" Astrid gnawed on her upper lip, as she up and crossed her legs. "For me, it was… it's fast. You have to move fast or you go down the food chain. It's not like here, where everybody knows each other."

He shrugged, "I can only imagine. The biggest celebrities here are Hiccup and his dad."

Astrid snorted.

"It's true!" he defended, and it was remarkable how comfortable he looked when half an hour ago he still shook if Astrid looked at him accidentally.

"Alright, alright. Say I believe you, you still have to explain, what exactly makes that family famous?"

Fishlegs pouted, frowning deep in concentration, when a light lit inside his brain. "Oh! Right! The ferry!"

Astrid said nothing, but prompted him with a raised eyebrow.

"Do you remember the ferry that's brought you here?"

"M-hmm…?"

"You know it passed between two statues?"

"Yes."

"Those are statues of previous chiefs of Berk."

"Okay…? As in like the king?"

"Yes. Sort of."

"Okay. Continue."

"Well… those are… Hiccup's… _ancestors._ "

She said nothing, but she thought of the intimidating, colossal carved stone statues that stood guard on each side of the entrance to the island. All that history and tradition. All of them to culminate in a gangly, one-legged freckly mess called _Hiccup_ of all things.

"Okay," she conceded, and tried not to laugh.

"I'm serious! His name is in our national history books. It was _so_ funny in middle school."

"Huh," she remembered Hiccup's expression from when Gobber had teased them, the red going to his freckly cheeks and his ears, and the corners of her lips turned against her will.

* * *

 **Welcome to chapter No. 5! I feel like a totally missed my chance to reference mambo no.5.**

 **Thank you all sincerely for reading, reviewing, and also those who followed/favorited: I see you, and i thank you. I hope you're enjoying the story so far.**

 **Alright then! This chapter was originally longer, but I decided to split it here. Next chapter we'll hear of a tempting proposition, and we go back to Hiccup for a bit, maybe.**

 **I won't be posting for the next two weeks because it's the end of semester and if i actually pass I'll be blessed. Please wish me luck.**

Guest chapter 4 . May 30

Great chapter and you answered my comment about Astrid's mum's view so thank you

 **Thank you! Hopefully this chapter illustrated it a bit more.**


	6. Runaway

**Chapter 6: Runaway** by **Aurora**

 _I had a dream I was seven_

 _Climbing my way in a tree_

 _I saw a piece of heaven_

 _Waiting, impatient, for me_

* * *

Sven met Astrid and the dog back at the vet's with towels, and Astrid thanked him quickly, taking one of them and kneeling to cast it over the dog's wet fur and rubbing it dry.

Astrid spied Sven going back to the pens and leaving her alone with the dog. Shooting a quick glance at the entrance to make sure nobody was looking, she turned back to the dog, her head emerging and her tail wagging left to right, a big grin spread on her cheeks, her pink tongue hanging from the open jaw.

Something in her heart melted. "Oh, you're a cute little pupper aren't you? You're so pretty! Who's so pretty?"

The dog wagged her tail faster, an excited bark leaving her mid-sized body.

Astrid laughed, scratching the dog's chin, " _you_ are, you're such a pretty girl!"

There was a rattling sound, and an 'eek!', and Astrid stood up, as straight as an arrow.

Fishlegs was floundering with dog treat bags that had fallen off the side shelves.

Astrid grabbed one of the towels still sitting on the counter and started to dry her clothes and hair in silence.

He wiped his thin blond hair away from his forehead, panting. "I'm sorry."

"It's fine," said Astrid, not looking at Fishlegs and trying to remain aloof.

The dog had other plans, whining and laying down by Astrid's feet.

Fishlegs darted a hand to grab a towel and dried himself as best as he could, before crouching and picking up the dog. "Uh… I'll uh… put her back in her pen."

Astrid nodded and walked behind the counter to sit on her stool. She checked her phone. She'd have to wait until someone came back so she could look for her aunt.

The door of the hallway that led into the consultation room and the pens flew open, and Fishlegs burst out, wide-eyed and lips pursed, walking urgently out of the shop.

"Fishlegs-!" she called out, making as if to follow him, but he didn't stop.

Astrid walked to the entrance and shot her head out to investigate, only to see him speed-walking away into the light drizzle the rain had turned into.

The raised voices of two women made Astrid turn around.

"Oh, come on, dude! Shut it already! I'm here now, aren't I?" it was a girl, roughly her own age, her wild and curly blonde hair almost had a life of its own.

Sigrid looked as bothered as a hen, her chest puffed up and a frown on her face, trailing after the girl, "and late! Five hours late! All you have to do is be on time, sit there and help with the customers!"

The girl with the fluffy hair groaned, "it's almost Sommerfest! You know business is slow here just before Sommerfest!" she took a seat in Astrid's stool looking at Astrid's phone that lay in the counter and tried to unlock it, rolling her eyes.

Astrid bristled. She approached the counter and shoved her hand in the girl's sight, and waited.

"Welcome to Sven's veterinary solutions, how can I help you today?" said the girl in a dull tone, still trying to unlock the phone and avoiding looking at her.

"Hi. That's my phone."

The girl shot her a mildly interested look. "Oh, really?"

"Yes," said Astrid, the frown on her face deepening, the beginnings of outrage burning in her throat.

But the girl hummed, still typing, and finally with a clicking sound the lock screen vanished. She made an amused sort of sound and finally gave the phone back into Astrid's waiting hand.

"Nope, not mine!" she called out with a toothy smile.

Astrid glared at her, turned to Sigrid, that had been appalled into silence a few steps away from them, and then back to the girl, who was typing happily away in the computer, entering the Facebook URL.

Astrid's nostrils flared as she breathed in deeply and… _out_. She turned to her aunt. "Auntie?"

Sigrid seemed to wake up from an out-of-body experience, "oh, yes, child?"

"The rain caught me."

"Oh. Oh, right! Come with me," Sigrid beckoned her forward, and then went into the back.

One hoodie and leggings, and another stool later, Astrid was sitting a healthy space away from the other girl, who noticed her furtive glares, because after 20 minutes in uncomfortable silence she swiveled around to glare back at Astrid.

"Alright, dude, what's your problem?"

Astrid scoffed, " _my_ problem? What's _your_ problem?"

The wild-haired girl rolled her eyes, "oh my god, is this about your phone? Chill it! It's been like four hours."

"half an hour," corrected Astrid.

"Ugh. Half an hour? This place is a nightmare," despaired the girl.

"Isn't this your _job_?"

The girl groaned again, "oh shut up, you're just like the old hag."

Astrid glared at her. "Way to be polite. That's my aunt you're talking about."

"Whatever, it's not like you've been super polite, _hot stuff_ ," the girl swiveled to face the computer and continued typing, "You didn't even ask my name."

Astrid shot her an annoyed look before relenting with a flat tone, "fine. What's your name?"

"Camila," the girl said, swiveling around, one leg crossed over the other in a practiced disinterested pose. "Camila Casillas Castillo."

"nice to meet you," answered Astrid not very nicely. "I'm Astrid Hofferson."

"Yeah, yeah. I know your name," said Camila pretending to inspect her nails. "you're that model chick that _dreamboat_ Erik Cameron cheated on."

" _excuse me_?"

"-and the old hag's niece. What a small world!" said Camila cheerily.

Astrid rolled her eyes. "No comment."

"Whatever. All I'm saying is you must know lots of important people…" Camila lifted her gaze from her nails to her, raising a challenging eyebrow, "do you know my friend Bobby from New York? He wears these black sneakers."

"you do know there's like 10 million people in NYC?" _was this girl for real?_ "it's the tenth most populated city in the world."

Camila sighed, shaking her head, and her wild hair followed. "8 and a half, actually."

"Whatever."

Sigrid popped her head out the door and addressed Astrid, "Astrid?"

"Yes! Need me to help?" Astrid jumped from her seat, eager to be as far away from Camila as possible.

"No, child," Sigrid looked at her like she'd heard a fish talking in Swedish, "Your uncle called, he's staying late for a meeting, so Hiccup's coming to get us."

"Oh," said Astrid, deflating back into her stool, and cringing as she remembered ignoring Hiccup the night before. "Okay."

Sigrid shook her head and her head disappeared back behind the door.

"I see you met Hiccup." Camila was looking at her, a glint in her blue eyes.

Her face warmed; she re-arranged her bangs over her forehead. "I did, yeah."

Camila laughed, "annoying, right?"

"Yeah," shrugged Astrid, avoiding Camila's eyes. "Nice though."

"He's not so bad," agreed Camila with surprising sobriety.

Astrid searched the other girl's face, but it gave her nothing.

"Anyway, let me show you my boyfriend," Camila thrust her phone's screen in Astrid's line of vision. There was a picture of Camila and a guy. Tall, taller than Camila, at least if the picture of the two could be trusted, and a certain air that reminded her of an ape. "His name is Delbert."

Camila must have noticed her grimace, "Okay, then, you can call him Bertie."

Astrid snorted, "they're both just as bad!"

Camila shrugged, "not if the third option is ' _Dogsbreath.'_ "

"Mmmhm. Okay," Astrid tried not to laugh.

"Anyway, tell everybody you know. Bertie is my boyfriend."

Astrid raised an eyebrow, a contained laugh settled for a smirk, "everybody I know?"

Camila gave a frustrated growl, and she looked a bit like a lion. "Look; I'm doing a friend a favor. Just make sure if someone asks, tell them that Dogsbreath, or Bertie, or Delbert, whichever you prefer, is Camila's boyfriend. Alright?" She looked intently at Astrid.

"Okay. Okay, sure."

* * *

8 PM and Hiccup was just about ready to fall into his bed and sleep for the next ten hours. As his thighs protested as he got off his Jeep, Hiccup considered falling on the couch instead. Fewer stairs…

Excited barks greeted him at the door, Toothless' big head sticking out before Hiccup could get a foot in the house. He snickered, maneuvering around his favorite furball. "Alright bud, I'm home, I'm home."

Toothless barked in response, his tail wiggling so hard, his whole backside moved along.

The shrill ring of the kitchen phone startled him out his face making-barking session with Toothless, and he hurried to answer.

There was only the static coming through, and Hiccup briefly considered hanging up, before his mother's voice asked who she was talking to.

"It's me, mum."

"oh… Hello, Henrik." Valka was clearly relieved.

Hiccup frowned. "What's the occasion?"

"Right to the point then," Valka sighed, "This year's contest is coming up, and I think you're ready for it," Hiccup heard her answer as he watched Toothless sniff at his boots.

Hiccup hummed, and then he paused. "What?! Really?"

"Yes," Valka seemed to have regained her cheeriness, "the theme is national identity."

His heart skipped a beat, "the deadline?"

"July 10th! Henrik…!"

"I know, I know!" A sloped smile spread on his face, "Sommerfest. I know, mum."

A loud bark distracted Hiccup, Toothless' fur stood on its end as he began to growl at the darkness, before sniffing at the threat and sitting, tail wagging slowly.

"Just me, you big ol' beast," said Stoick, walking into the kitchen, still carrying his briefcase and setting it down on the dinner table, "Hello, son."

"Hey, dad." He tried to say something else to his mother, but she merely asked him to call her later and hung up without another word. Hiccup sighed.

"Was that your mother?"

Hiccup shrugged before putting the phone back on its hook and looking back at Stoick, that was giving the phone a longing glance.

He cleared his throat. "So? What did you two talk about?"

Hiccup scratched the side of his head, and then passed both hands over his hair, pulling it back, letting his hands drop to his sides. "You want… You mean the whole conversation, or?"

Stoick sent him a warning stare from his seat at the kitchen table, looking up from his paperwork for less than a second.

"Yeah… well…" Hiccup approached the other end of the table, gripping the chair's back and leaning into it, stretching his limbs like a dog, "she uh… she said something about a contest."

Hiccup watched his father's face, but the only indication that he'd heard him was the narrowing of his green eyes. He straightened, shooting his hands out, "before you say anything, dad, it won't distract me from Sommerfest, I promise!"

"Good," Stoick shuffled some papers around, and uncapped his pen, "ought to make sure you're ready for the main event, then. I don't want you to get distracted with," he paused, waving a hand around in Hiccup's overall direction, "you've got it."

Hiccup threw him a flat stare, "thanks, dad, for gesturing to all of me."

Stoick looked up from his paperwork, capping the pen and leaning back in his chair.

Hiccup sighed, running his hands over his hair, and he paused. "Right, then. I'll focus on Sommerfest. No woolgathering."

"No woolgathering," Stoick nodded, "good."

"Yes." Hiccup walked out into the hallway, Toothless' head rising with the rest of him to follow Hiccup. "Now, I've got to shower; I'm picking up Sigrid and her niece at Sven's in a mo'. D'you need anything from the town?" he called, already at the foot of the stairs.

"I'm alright, son," Stoick tore his gaze away from his only son, and continued arranging his paperwork, "but I'm leaving you and Sigrid some money for the messages. I've got to go back to London tomorrow."

"Already?" Hiccup's head popped back into the kitchen, "but the race on Friday? And Sommerfest?"

"I'll be back by Sommerfest. I trust the Ingermans and Thorstons are managing."

"And the race?" there was a frown on Hiccup's face, but his voice had a hopeful little lilt.

Stoick gave a tired sigh. "Hiccup, this is important. We're looking to change the policies of export and import. It's for our nation's good."

Hiccup refused to look Stoick's way. "No, I get it. It's alright."

It wasn't alright.

* * *

The blinking form of a voicemail message alert wouldn't leave her alone. She'd been trying to avoid it through the afternoon, but in the end, the annoyance was too much for Astrid to bear.

Pretending to take a bathroom break, Astrid sat on top of the toilet lid and cradled the phone to her ear.

" _You have -one- message in your voicemail."_ Called the robotic voice. _"Received on -June-6th - at -three-forty-eight."_ And Erik's voice came through the static.

" _Hey, A. Look: I know you said not to call you, but this whole scandal thing is kind of a bummer to my image, and honestly it's kind of your fault in the first place, so I wanna offer you… uh… an offer."_

There was a brief, distant scoff before Erik shushed the other person and continued, _"Look, it can be a win-win thing; I could get you a part through my agent, but you gotta do me a favor first. Anyway, call me."_

Astrid paused, before listening to the message again.

She managed to get Erik over fast, in fact, she hadn't liked him for a while now, but her mother's words kept running around in her mind, begging her to think of her reputation, and Astrid hesitated.

She sighed, pushing back her braid over her shoulder, and pocketed her phone.

The bathroom door creaked when she opened it, and she went back to the front of the shop.

"You were gone for a while," prompted Camila.

"I guess I was."

The silence was filled by the sound of Camila tapping her nails on the glass counter before she grunted and turned to Astrid again.

"I'm naturally an asshole."

"What?"

"I'm talking about earlier. With Sigrid?"

Astrid turned to briefly look at Camila, but the girl's expression was so earnest, it got Astrid's attention.

"Okay…?"

"I don't know man. It's just…it's just irritating that Sigrid has it against me."

Astrid raised an eyebrow, squinting her eyes, "My aunt? She's like a marshmallow. She doesn't have it in her to be mean."

"Well… that's because she likes you," Camila shrugged, "I get it. She's never liked me since the thing." She lamented, sitting her elbows over the 'don't lean here' sign on the counter, and her chin on her hands.

"The thing?"

Camila straightened, crossing her arms. "I hurt something of hers," she paused at the sound of an engine dying off, "oh! Here's Hiccup!"

And she was right. He was there, entering the vet's office, opening the door for Toothless to walk ahead of him with one hand, and attempting to comb his auburn hair with the other. He watched Toothless and smiled at the dog's antics; a gap-toothed, lopsided smile.

' _Foolish._ ' Astrid could almost ignore her heartbeat and the joyous barking of the huge dog as her gaze traveled. That leather jacket suited him.

Both Camila and Astrid fell into his line of vision, and the smile vanished into a frown.

"Hello, Hiccup," called Camila, an easy smile on her face.

Hiccup's frown deepened, "Hey, Cami."

Camila quickly made herself scarce, an excuse and her wild hair disappearing behind the door to the back.

His gaze stayed put in the direction Camila had gone off to.

"Hiccup?"

He turned to her, a blush sprung on his cheeks, "oh, hey, Astrid. Hi."

A corner of her lips lifted into a smirk. "Hi."

"Sorry about… that," he gestured to the missing Camila. He opened his mouth to say something, but hesitated, his lips stretching into a line. Astrid could almost hear him think. He sighed, "did… did she say something about me?"

"Not a lot. Just that you're nice."

His thick eyebrows scrunched up in puzzlement, "oh… anything else?"

She gave him her best level stare, "she told me your deepest darkest secret."

His blush returned, a bit of desperation in his eyes, "what… what did she say?"

Astrid smiled, "I didn't know you were a jockey!"

"Oh! Oh! So she didn't-guh," he choked out, the relief pouring off of him, "yes! Yes. I am a jockey. I… I suppose I haven't mentioned it, have I?"

She leaned in his direction, a teasing brow lifting, "so, any other jobs? I already have 'tour guide', 'jockey', my aunt's adopted child, and 'dog rescuer' on the list. What else is there? Are you Batman?"

He snickered, "You already know too much about me, milady," he mimicked a gruff voice, "I shan't reveal more."

"Not even close!" She laughed, and Hiccup beamed at her reaction, eyes reminding Astrid of their pretty forest green.

"There goes the Oscar for best actor. What do you plan to do next? The fans want to know!" she directed an imaginary microphone to his face, and Hiccup opened his mouth to answer.

And then he closed it. An almost visible thought crossed his mind, and he frowned, shrugging.

He tapped his fingers on the counter to fill the silence, his half-hearted attempt to ignore her was grating on her nerves, and the guilt returned to the surface.

"Hiccup, I'm sorry. About yesterday."

He glanced at her briefly, before returning to his tapping fingers and looking at Toothless, "that's alright. I should have realized you were busy."

"I guess… but I should have been a bit more polite."

Hiccup looked at her again, "yeah. I suppose." He stilled his fingers, before offering his right hand to her, a wry smile on his face, "let's get along?"

She took his hand and shook it, trying to ignore the flutter inside her.

He opened his mouth to say something, but the door burst open, and Sigrid came out, carrying the gray dog on her arms, and Hiccup hurried to help her, Toothless barking in excitement, and all both Sigrid and Hiccup went out the front door, Toothless following them.

Someone tapped her shoulder, making Astrid turn.

"I'll close the shop; Sven's already asleep in the back."

"He _sleeps_ here?"

Camila smiled at her bewilderment, "when I got here, I was just like you, but now nothing phases me."

Astrid wanted to ask her where she was from, but Hiccup popped his head in.

"Astrid? Are you getting on?"

"Yup! Give me a sec!" She turned to Camila, that was looking at them with the same cunning glint in her blue eyes as before.

"Nice to meet you Astrid," she offered her hand, but when Astrid went to take it, Camila lifted her hand, "whoops!"

Astrid rolled her eyes, "nice to meet you, Camila," and she went to get into the backseat of Hiccup's jeep smiling.

* * *

Guest chapter 5 . Jun 18

Goodluck! Really enjoying this, thank you.

 **No, dear reader, thank _you_! I finally finished university and now here comes the uncertainty of actual adult life. I never signed up for adulting, only for living in a mansion with a lot of rescue dogs and traveling the world!**

 **anyway, what do you think of this? I've already got chapter 7 plotted out, so it should come out perhaps next sunday! please let me know your thoughts on Camicazi?**


	7. Stubborn Love

**Chapter 7: Stubborn Love** by **The Lumineers**

 _And the highway signs say we're close,_

 _but I don't read those things anymore  
I never trusted my own eyes_

* * *

As soon as Fishlegs carefully reversed out the gravel path, carrying the still unnamed mutt as a passenger, Hiccup made for his bedroom to get his bag, but paused:

Toothless had flopped on the porch, big head laying listlessly on top of his paws, his tail almost wagging when Hiccup called him.

Hiccup stared at his dog for a half a moment before he sighed and sat on the steps next to Toothless.

He patted the dog's furry back, "what's wrong, Toothless?"

At hearing his name, Toothless wagged his tail half-heartedly but didn't turn to look at him.

"Are you lonely? Is that it?"

Toothless' ear raised with interest.

"Is that why you're pouting, then?"

A soft growl answered his question, Toothless' curiosity deflating.

"I'm sorry, bud. I know I've left you alone lately, with Berk season and Sommerfest happening."

"You talk like you'd expect it to answer," said a booming voice next to him.

"GAH!" Hiccup jumped up, turning fast as a flash.

His trimmed red beard and hair neatly tied behind his back gave Stoick away as easily as his booming laughter.

"Oh… It's just you, dad," said Hiccup with a flat stare, left hand still over his calming heart.

One of Stoick's hands lay on his own suited belly, while the other dangled next to him, carrying both a briefcase and the handle of a suitcase. Hiccup's eye caught on it.

Stoick still chortled, "It's just too fun to wind you up."

Hiccup crossed his arms, "You're really leaving again."

His laughter stopped. "Oh. Yes. London."

"Right."

Stoick shuffled awkwardly before switching his things to his left hand.

"But you've _just_ gotten back. You said you'd come see the race tomorrow."

Stoick frowned, and Hiccup looked away, already hating how petulantly childish his tone came across.

"Hiccup, we talked about it yesterday. You know I can't be here every second of every day with you. I'm protecting _our nation_."

His crossed arms gave Stoick nothing, but he figured Hiccup understood.

He cleared his throat, "Well, that's that," he started to walk around Hiccup, "just, focus on your race tomorrow and training the next couple of weeks. No more photograph stuff," He reached for Hiccup's shoulder, but Hiccup ignored him.

"Hiccup. _No_ distractions."

Hiccup distracted himself with Toothless, still ignoring Stoick.

He grasped Hiccup's shoulder, turning him around.

Hiccup's green eyes mellowed with something sad and stinging.

His hand released his son's shoulder like it'd burnt him. "Where's that look come from?"

Only silence, but an answer of its own. Stoick huffed, "I'll be back next Wednesday. And I've left money for the messages. _No distractions_ , Hiccup. Alright?"

Hiccup threw his hands up, an exasperated explosion, "I…! It's not a distraction! Photography is _not_ a distraction!"

Stoick frowned, "not a distraction… What is it then?" he challenged.

"It's… It's something I need to do," he crossed his arms again, "-since you won't let me go to university," he mumbled.

Stoick's face reddened, "You have bigger responsibilities here, Hiccup. You have a _legacy_ to uphold!"

Hiccup didn't answer again; he just simmered.

"And- And you don't even have a plan! you just want to go anywhere, isn't it?"

"I have a plan- Go to New York with mum, get a job, get experience, and-!" he made to continue, but his mouth snapped shut.

Stoick was already shaking his head, "You haven't thought this trough, Hiccup! What about your dog," he pointed at Toothless, who wiggled his tail at being addressed, "or your horse? You'll just abandon them?"

Stoick glared at him accusatorily. Hiccup struggled to find his voice for a moment.

"I… Sigrid can help? With Natt Fury. Mum could help me with Toothless."

Stoick's face was almost as red as his hair, "So that's it then? That's what it's about! You want to go with your mother? I suppose her life is much more exciting than the one you have here."

"This has _nothing_ to do with mum!"

"Oh, but it does, doesn't it?!"

Hiccup's heart was pounding like the hooves of horses at a stampede. He had so much to say. So much he could say.

But he chose to say nothing.

They seemed to wait for a moment, or two, before Stoick's anger collapsed on itself, "I'll be late for the ferry," he said, his feet thundering down the entryway stairs.

"Have a safe trip," said Hiccup, half-hoping Stoic wouldn't hear him.

"Good luck today," Stoick answered, walking to his SUV.

Neither of them looked back.

After the sound of Stoick leaving Hiccup faded into silence, Toothless stood up and barked, startling Hiccup.

"Right! The ranch. Thanks, bud," Hiccup smiled apologetically, reaching to rub Toothless' chin, "I'll make it up to you. I promise."

* * *

Camila was late again. Sigrid had asked Astrid to keep an eye out, but it was nearing 11 am and Camila hadn't shown up yet.

Astrid commended her aunt's patience and optimism because with the vet being open since 9, she didn't think it likely the wild-haired girl would arrive at all.

Fishlegs Ingerman had made an appearance earlier, though.

He carried the mutt and Sven had checked it over, said nothing, which was apparently good news, then given the dog back to Fishlegs.

Sven caught on Astrid's wistful look as the dog was being harnessed and gestured for her to join Fishlegs and the dog on their walk.

"Why don't you give the dog a name?" asked Astrid as they neared the park again. The dog pulled insistently on the leash.

Fishlegs trailed a little behind her, "well, she doesn't have a home yet," he lamented.

Astrid hummed, "why don't you take her to a shelter?"

"We don't… we don't really have a shelter. Sven and Gobber's is the shelter."

The blond boy was fidgeting as she looked at the dog thoughtfully.

"Um… Astrid?" his voice came as a thin thread, "do you think I can ask you a favor?"

Astrid whipped her braid behind her shoulder, both hands occupied with holding onto the leash. "Yes," Fishlegs said something, but Astrid couldn't focus. "Hold on. Hey!" she pulled on the leash once, firmly, and the dog stopped, panting, and looking at Astrid, who blinked owlishly. She didn't expect to get the dog's attention.

Fishlegs' voice was only a whisper, "how did you do that?"

"I don't… know…"

Both stood wide-eyed, waiting to see the dog's next move.

The dog barked and started pulling on the leash again, and though she did so at a slower pace, the spell was now broken.

"What were you saying earlier?"

Fishlegs' reddened, "Um… I just want you to know, I'm only suggesting wasting your time because Sigrid said it'd be okay, and obviously, you're much better than this but we're really in a jiffy."

Astrid was afraid if she touched him, he'd whimper. "Okay…?"

"Well, I'm… directing the play on Sommerfest, June 21st, and I was wondering, uh…"

Astrid waited, but Fishlegs just walked along, wringing his hands. "Fishlegs," she urged him.

"Uh… we're doing the tale of Hiccup the first and… we... um… we don't have anyone for Skuld the Norn."

She stopped to blink at Fishlegs, but the dog quickly reminded her she wanted to keep moving.

He scurried after her, "I mean it's only if you want to. If you don't want to I totally get it. I just thought I might as well try _please-don't-hate-me?"_

They walked in silence for a moment, Fishlegs fretting and Astrid thinking.

"No… No. I'd like that," Astrid said finally, "How many scenes is that?"

Fishlegs brightened, "Just the one! Oh! Thank you, thank you, thank you! I'll print you the script back at the vet's!"

So now here Astrid was at one thirty pm, Fishlegs gone, the dog in the back, and she with the script of the scene.

She started re-reading her scene:

 **ACT 2:**

 **SCENE 1: The Vision**

 _A meadow in the forest, the backlights are on, filtering through the trees, the figure of a man lays on the ground on the_ _ **stage right**_ _and slowly raises as a spotlight fades in over him. It's_ _ **HICCUP,**_ _he wears ornate tunic and trousers._

HICCUP: (Standing up) What is this? But I was just in my hall…

 _The shape of three women -the_ _ **NORNIR**_ _\- enter from stage left._

NORNIR: (in unison) fear not, man.

 _ **HICCUP**_ _startles as the main lights fade in._

NORNIR: (contn'd in unison) we're not here to decide your fate.

HICCUP: My… my fate?

URD: Your fate has already been decided.

VERTHANDI: It's already been set in motion.

HICCUP: Who are you?

SKULD: (not looking at HICCUP, walking around him) We are the Nornir. And I am Skuld.

 _ **VERTHANDI**_ _and_ _ **URD**_ _also call their names. The_ _ **NORNIR**_ _surround_ _ **HICCUP**_ _loosely._ _ **SKULD**_ _keeps walking around the circle_ _ **HICCUP**_ _is now at the center of._

HICCUP: The Nornir! (kneels) Is my fate to be taken before my father the next raid?

 _ **VERTHANDI**_ _and_ _ **URD**_ _look at_ _ **SKULD**_ _for answers._

SKULD: (shakes her head at the other Nornir. She turns to HICCUP) That, I can't say. But there is _something_ we can give you to prepare.

VERTHANDI: (turns to HICCUP) a _something_.

URD: (also turns to HICCUP) a weapon.

SKULD: (finally) a _warning_.

HICCUP: a warning?

 _The main lights start to fade out as they speak, leaving only the spotlight on_ _ **HICCUP**_ _and the backlights. Smoke fills the stage._

A handbag clattered on the counter, startling Astrid out of her reading. She looked up to find Camila's impish smirk.

"What's that? A love letter?"

"You're late." Astrid folded the pages she was given, stuffing it into her pocket.

Camila rolled her eyes, "oh, gimme a break. I actually have an excuse this time, and Sigrid won't shut up about it when she sees me," she said, walking behind the counter and pulling the other stool and sitting on it. She looked around, "where's Silent Sven?"

Astrid shrugged, "no idea. I think he's taking the day off. We won't be here tomorrow. We'll go watch Hiccup's race," she pulled out her phone, hoping Heather would answer her, but she'd been unlucky so far.

The stool squeaked when Camila turned to face her with a teasing humming. "So, what was that yesterday. With Hiccup?"

Astrid put her phone away. "Nothing."

"Nothing? I thought you were going to flash him right there"

"I wasn't, oh my god, we were barely talking!"

But Camila wouldn't be so easily defeated, "I felt indecent watching it, I had to bleach myself when I got home."

Astrid scoffed, placing both hands on the counter, "look. Even _if_ it was true, why do you even care?"

"I don't. Not really," Cami shrugged. But she turned away from Astrid on her squeaky stool.

The spark of a hint was born. "Camila"

"It's Cami."

"Cami. Why don't you just flirt with him yourself and stop pushing me?"

Cami turned to her and blinked, then laughed. "God, no! No. Not going there."

Astrid blinked at her, perplexed at the strong reaction.

Cami's eyes widened in realization, "I just... look, it doesn't matter. It's old history by now."

 _What?_

"I'll leave you alone, then, hot stuff. Oh! _Ding!_ There's my bell," Cami gathered her handbag and started for the door. "Off for lunch! see you!"

"There's no bell and you just got here!" barked Astrid after her, but Cami was already long gone. " _What the hell was that?!"_ she murmured to herself.

Sigrid's head poked out the door, "was that Cami, I heard?"

"She's gone," deadpanned Astrid, "lunchtime, she said."

Sigrid sighed, glancing at the clock on the computer, "well, she isn't wrong. Wait here, I've packed lunch for us."

Astrid sighed, every day she'd been in Berk so far had been nothing but an adventure.

Her aunt came back, her blond hair tied in a sloppy bun at her nape, carrying a plastic bag that she set on the counter.

A wonderful, meaty smell reached her. Astrid hummed, eyes closed and a slight smile gracing her.

Sigrid smiled, and pulled out the two containers she'd just heated, passing one and a fork to her niece, and keeping the other set to herself.

"What's this?"

It turned out to be Berkian Lamb Stew. They enjoyed it in silence for about half-way through the meal, until the novelty of it passed for Astrid.

"What's," she chewed, "what's the deal with Cami?"

Sigrid cleaned her lips with a napkin, "Oh, are you _into_ her? I'm not sure I like that girl for you, darling."

Astrid frowned, "what? No! No. I mean, with Hiccup."

Sigrid cocked a teasing brow up, "oh, are you _into_ him, then?"

She choked, "are you trying to set me up?"

Her aunt laughed, "I just thought… if you got yourself a suitor you'd visit more. Besides, Berkians make for good stock."

Astrid didn't answer, eyes wide as she mouthed ' _good stock'._

"You might end up staying!" added Sigrid.

Astrid laughed, "You can stop then, I'm not interested in dating anyone." She ignored Sigrid's hum. "I'm Just curious, that's all. About Hiccup, I mean," her heart picked up its pace, "lots of mysteries."

Sigrid hummed again. "Alright, then, if you say so," she went back to her meal. She saw her niece out of the corner of her eye just staring at Sigrid in anticipation, but she ignored her for a while until Astrid had no other choice.

"Then?"

" _Then_ what?"

"Hiccup and Cami!"

Sigrid sighed, setting down her fork on a napkin. "It's something you should ask Hiccup about."

Astrid frowned, "fine..."

They ate in silence until Sigrid decided to tease.

"It _is_ juicy gossip."

"Really?" she turned, giving herself away at how fast she swiveled.

Sigrid chuckled, and Astrid frowned again. "Whatever. I don't care."

"Alright, child," said Sigrid, still chuckling.

At the end of the meal, Sigrid packed the containers and took them to her locker, but still returned to keep Astrid company.

They watched the people walk by, (a middle-aged woman complaining under her breath in Berkian, an old woman called Goethi, who waved at them with her cane, but as Sigrid later explained never spoke, Gobber came by, and so did Astrid's uncle, Finn, letting them know the van was busted and asking Sigrid to beg a favor from Hiccup), neither of them expected Cami to come back.

And they were proven right. It seemed she was brave for some things and weasel-y for others.

At some point, after Gobber and before Finn, which was a weird interlude, Sigrid sighed.

"I miss him."

"Who?" entertained Astrid, a bit preoccupied with Heather in her message tray.

"Hiccup."

"Oh…" Astrid watched Sigrid carefully for cues on how to react.

"I only mean… he's like the son I never had. And I worry he's always alone."

Astrid fiddled with her braid, "oh, yeah. He said something about his dad always being gone when he took me on that tour," she smiled, "he said he only really had you"

But Sigrid's eyes were wide, "he did? He told you that?"

Her eagerness made Astrid's face warm as she recalled their chat. "He did, yeah. In those exact words, now that I think about it."

Sigrid let out a smile that barely hid her fondness.

"What?"

Sigrid hummed, "It's really, _very_ hard to get Hiccup to say what's really bothering him. You'd have an easier time finding a _dragon_ and learning how to ride it."

Astrid shrugged, "he was very honest with me."

"He must have really liked you." There was something about Sigrid's smile and words that made Astrid's heart race.

Finally, Sigrid gave her some mercy, "well, everybody knows I mother him. Not only since Frieda's death. I've mothered that child since his mother left."

This sparked something in Astrid, a trail just recovered, "why _did_ she leave?"

Sigrid stared at the people walking by, gathering her thoughts, it seemed, before she spoke.

"Well, everybody in Berk knows it. It was an awful scandal back in the day, so I don't feel bad telling you. I shouldn't be. Feeling bad that is, but it's just so tragic-"

"Auntie!"

"Right." Sigrid snapped her fingers at herself, her eyes glazing over as she went back in time. "Back on topic. So, we have young Valka and Sigmund Jorgenson moving back to Berk from Scotland to take care of their dying father's health. Valka is barely 20 years old when she meets Stoick, Hiccup's dad, and a starting politician at 30 something years old. He was my age then, I was already pregnant with Frieda.

"They fall in love; whirlwind romance, very dramatic (there weren't many interesting things on the telly so everyone had a keen eye on), and suddenly, turns out Valka gets pregnant, and still unmarried. It was quite the scandal. But as it is, they didn't marry. Stoick did propose a couple of times, but he got turned down. No one could see what the woman was thinking. Stoick was a catch in Berkian society!

"Then, when Hiccup was only six years old, she packs her bags and moves to the United States. We don't know much about her after that, but I do know she got in touch with your mother once."

Astrid frowned, "and she's never come back here?"

Sigrid shrugged, "she comes and goes every couple of years. Doesn't meet with anyone but her brother's family and Stoick and Hiccup. Poor Stoick has never married. _Or_ dated anyone since. I expect he waits for her to be back someday."

"That's terrible." She was about to add that she couldn't believe anyone could just do that, but she did. That was the worst part. She could feel no pity for Hiccup or Stoick.

Compassion though. And sympathy. She had lots of that to give.

They sat in thoughtful silence for a bit, before Sigrid clapped her hands. "So? What do you think of Berk?"

Astrid half-smiled, turning her gaze out onto the street. It was raining again, and the people outside were rushing to find cover. Some teenagers had chosen the awning of the Vet's for shelter, giggling.

It made Astrid wistful.

"It has colorful characters," she answered, finally. "It's peaceful."

Sigrid straightened, almost preening, and with a smile on her face. "I'm glad you're enjoying yourself."

And she was. And that reminded her, "Heather would like to come," she said, turning to Sigrid, "my friend," she added, at Sigrid's bewilderment. "She'd like to come for Sommerfest.

Sigrid gave Astrid a charming smile. "Tell her she's welcome to come and stay with us."

"That I will! Thanks, Auntie."

Sigrid reached to caress Astrid's cheek, "It's no trouble, Scrawny."

Astrid smiled at the nickname. It was growing on her.

* * *

 **A/N YES! I'm so accomplished honestly. I've managed to write 7 chapters so far and i'm so happy with all of them. Obviously there are some things I'd love to change but so far...**

 **Anyway, I'll copy-paste my AN from AO3 because it still applies and it's after midnight and i'm honestly just a tad knackered:**

 **I decided to reveal some of the mystery! Not all of it though, it's just not time. But I gave some hints and I'd like to hear your thoughts!**  
 **What do you think of the play? I'll add another bit later so hopefully it won't be dull!**

 **In my tumblr I've uploaded a drawing of Hiccup's house, and a handy map of the Isle of Berk for anyone interested! Just type tagged/riptide-au and you'll see it right there!**

 **And now answer to guest reviews!**

Guest chapter 6 . Jul 1

What's between Cami and Hiccup? And Cami and Astrid's mother? ( **Sigrid, you must mean! haha she's Astrid's aunt** ) I wonder what "The Thing," is? I just seem to get more questions with every chapter. Hopefully, there will be some answers soon.

 **Hopefully this chapter sated the thirst for knowledge for now? It's really not the right time to reveal "The Thing", but i promise it'll be relevant later!**

 **Thank you for anyone ghost-reading this. I still appreciate it! But I'd also appreciate hearing your thoughts!**


	8. Running with the Wolves

**Chapter 8: Running with the Wolves** by **Aurora**

 _A gift, A curse_

 _They track and hurt_

 _Say can you dream_

 _In nightmares seems_

 _A million voices, silent dreams_

 _Where hope is left so incomplete_

* * *

Astrid had tried everything to fight the boredom, but only the anxiety of watching the last bus of the day shuffle away like a dying mammoth won the match against it.

They'd been waiting for Hiccup for a little over fifteen minutes after he said he'd come get them, and her aunt and uncle were passive-aggressively arguing about him again in hushed voices, a few steps away from her because Astrid really, _really_ didn't want to hear it.

The dark clouds had settled, but neither the people nor Cami had really come back out from hiding, so the end of the shift at the vet's had been more than dull, even with her taking advantage of the mighty Wi-Fi signal then, and even now.

A little notification was blinking again in the corner of her screen, and Astrid cursed Erik for leaving a voicemail instead of sending an audio message like a regular person. She'd listened to it again last night and she thought about it. Erik getting her a part.

Should she answer his voicemail? Should she call him?

Still three or so steps away from her, Sigrid was throwing Finn a meaningful look, having grown quiet.

Astrid could spy Hiccup's jeep driving down the street towards them. She tapped a quick message for Erik and put away her phone.

After they'd climbed up, Finn insisting he drive and Hiccup automatically giving Sigrid the passenger seat, climbing on the backseat with Astrid.

They'd exited the town, the trees now rushing away from the window as they sped past them, a comfortable silence stretching between them.

Finn threw Hiccup a look through the rearview mirror, "So? How's your father doing?"

Hiccup jumped, his cheeks went a dusty rose color, and he pretended not to have been caught staring at Astrid, "Oh! well, he's... he's fine, I think," he said, reaching to rubbing his nape, hand lingering in his collarbone. "He's in London at the moment."

"I suppose he went to talk about the export clause with Frederick Worthington," mused Finn, "he told me he'd be getting on about it."

Hiccup hesitated, throwing a helpless look at Sigrid, through the mirror "Uh… I think so. I really don't know."

Sigrid tutted, "and when is he getting back?"

"I think he said Wednesday. I'm not sure-"

Astrid interrupted him, her keen gaze on him, "how can you not know? Do you never ask those things?"

"I…" Hiccup paused to think, "I don't know," he said finally, "We never talk about those things."

She sighed, leaning back in her seat, "oh... well. I guess My mom's the same. I always get her plans through imessage or _Martha_."

"Martha?" Sigrid piped in, half-turning to look at Astrid.

"Her assistant."

"I see." Sigrid gave Finn a meaningful look.

Astrid shrugged, turning to look out the window again.

"I know what you mean," said Hiccup to Astrid, breaking the silence, "all _I_ ever get is 'Hello, son, Goodbye, son.' I'm an expert on 20 different ways of only saying 'Hi' thanks to him."

Astrid chuckled, "'How to Not Communicate: The Art of Talking About Nothing.'"

Hiccup snorted, making them burst out laughing until their giggles diluted into pleased smiles.

Astrid felt watched and she raised her gaze until she met Sigrid's kind eyes on them, a wry smile on her lips.

Hiccup didn't catch _Finn's_ on them through the mirror.

They arrived at her aunt and uncle's and they all unloaded Hiccup's jeep, and he walked around until he met Finn at the driver's seat's side, but Finn didn't move.

"Thanks for getting us."

"No problem." Hiccup held out his hand to receive his keys, but Finn was still holding on to them.

Sigrid and Astrid shared a puzzled look.

Finn scrutinized him for a moment. "You have dinner yet, boy?"

Hiccup blinked. "Err… yeah. I mean, no," he rushed to correct. "No, not yet."

Finn nodded, closing the Jeep's door behind him. There was another silent moment that passed with Hiccup standing in the same spot beside his Jeep, feeling as if he said anything right then Finn would do something else unpredictable like grab him by the collar and fling him into the sun. Or turn into a vampire. Whichever was more likely.

"Come on, then!" he called back to Hiccup, already walking away. "Dinner, love," he whispered to Sigrid, grabbing her hand to lead her inside and making her redden.

It finally dawned on him that Finn was asking him to stay for dinner.

He noticed Astrid had lingered in the same spot by the jeep.

He was smiling, bright and airy, lopsided and gap-toothed. She liked that.

She nodded at the front door, half facing him, half facing Sigrid's house. He shrugged dismissively, but he followed after her.

After dinner, Hiccup had disappeared somewhere outside after helping clear the table.

A cold gust of wind flew through her clothes and settled, a little too comfortable, in her skin. She crossed her arms and burrowed her fists almost too near her armpits. Her booted feet stepped onto the turf grass, still a little slippery from the rain that afternoon, and carried her to where Hiccup was sitting on the bench swing, fiddling with an object in his lap.

She stopped next to the swing and watched Hiccup for a moment. His hair had settled from its windblown look.

Astrid hesitated, but Hiccup smiled at her and she sat next to him. The swing swayed gently, forcing a breeze that made Astrid a little regretful she'd worn just a pullover. She crossed her arms, shivering.

"Cold?" He didn't look at her, he was putting his camera in an expensive-looking case.

She shrugged. She nodded, gesturing at the camera. "Can I see?"

"It's dead…" He put the case to the side. His fingertips lingered lovingly on it. "Maybe I can show you some other time?"

"Sure."

He offered her a smile that didn't quite reach his eyes. She mirrored him before they both turned to look at the sky.

After the rain, the clouds had cleared, and now the stars, millions of glittering diamonds, shone in the night sky.

It was just beautiful. And the contact from Hiccup's leather jacket-covered arm was warm and comfortable.

She pulled out the script, trying to read it again with only the moonlight and the decently-distanced backyard light for lighting. Her brows furrowed, her eyes squinting.

"What's wrong?" interrupted Hiccup.

"There's..." she tried to straighten the paper, "I don't understand this."

"Let me see?"

Astrid angled it, so he could read.

Hiccup hummed, reading in a low voice. "Well, that's ominous," he said after he was finished. "Who wrote it?"

"It doesn't say..." she frowned, "what's ominous?"

"You didn't read it?" He pointed at the last section of the script. "This, right here...!" He paused, and something clicked right in Hiccup's brain. "Oh. Right."

Astrid gave him a level stare.

"Right. Berkian." He gave a little giggle. "Right… I'll translate." He cleared his throat, standing up, prying the paper from Astrid's fingers.

He started pacing, exaggerating a mysterious, womanly voice:

"Many trials you'll face. Much pain you'll... suffer?" he stopped and considered it. "Yes. Suffer's the right word. But when you meet your... you know? soul... friend... friendly soul?" he shook his head, "let them live. Let them live for you'll meet your people's... the savior of your people and your nation."

He bowed to a mediocre applause and a smirk from Astrid. Then, she asked him to repeat Skuld's lines in Berkian, so she could practice their pronunciation. Hiccup tried to correct her, but they kept getting stuck in the first line and Astrid's fuse was close to blowing.

"No, it's okay. Just say it again, but when you say the first 'R' just meh-the-shipov-you-shongue-ike-"

Astrid ripped the paper away from him.

He sat back down. "Is this for Sommerfest?"

"Yeah." She glanced at the crinkled paper in her hands. She folded it, so she didn't have to see the ink mocking her. "I should've read the script before agreeing."

"-said Robert Pattinson after Twilight."

Astrid snorted, but her deadpan manner had him wincing.

"Right. Not funny?"

She put the folded script away in her pocket. "Very funny. _Not_ in the mood for funny."

"For what it's worth, I think you'll be great at this," he said, trying to comfort her.

Silence. Her arms were now folded, and she looked out into the fields.

"Astrid?"

"That's... all I've ever wanted to be." Astrid's voice was raw, unbound.

The quiet was as delicate as walking into an artisanal glass trinket store from the cultural center downtown wearing boots with no traction on a rainy day.

"But... you're already great. You're _Astrid Hofferson_ ; you're a superstar."

"I...!" She seemed to choke on the rawness for a moment. "Because of who I date. _Dated._ Or what I _look_ like, Hiccup! It's _not_ the same."

"That's... well..." he struggled to find something to say. "Why? Isn't there a saying that goes: all press is good press?"

Astrid shook her head, "not when you want people to talk about _anything_ but your outfit or your partner." She grimaced, "or when people nominate you for a Razzie on your first part everon a feature film."

Hiccup's head tilted to the side, "really? I thought you were funny."

"It wasn't supposed to be funny."

He scoffed, "'Robo-Nanny 2: The Karaoke Party' wasn't supposed to be funny?"

 _She_ huffed, her annoyance surging up her throat. "It was supposed to be social commentary and- and speculative fiction."

"Well, the singing robots sure fooled me."

Astrid turned and swatted his shoulder. "The studio made us add them. Said it'd make the movie more _digestible_."

"And they thought it was a good idea at the time?"

She paused, keeping her mouth open and holding her breath as she looked for a comeback.

"It was such a mess," she finally conceded with an exhale.

"That's not your fault." He gave her another of those tilted smiles that made her heart hammer against her chest. "You still were funny."

Her cheeks were a pretty pink as the corner of her lips gave a shy turn upwards. "Thanks."

The moon was out that day, bright silvery light shining on Astrid's skin. On her beautiful blue eyes, and velvet-looking, pink lips. He wondered if he touched them they'd be as soft as they looked.

But no. It couldn't be. No matter how much her lovely face, eyes, lips and voice, and her strong personality, and…

No matter how much everything about her made his heart do funny flips, she was _way_ out of his league. All he could do was bask in the light of her short presence in his life and then remember it. Probably forever. And then bring it up at their wedding. With pictures. She would look _otherworldly_ in a white dress. Was she Christian? Or did she follow the old-way? Would he have to address Sigrid or Astrid's mum?

Shit.

 _Shit._

He cleared his throat. "Anyway, you'll be great," he raised a hand, but he forced the direction to change from towards her shoulder to scratching his neck. "At Fishlegs' play, I mean, you survived Robo-Nanny 2! you can definitely survive a Fishlegs-directed play."

Astrid felt her face warm; the cold wasn't quite so biting now. "I know… Thank you."

Hiccup's breath came out in a relieved little laugh. "Not a problem. And I can help with the Berkian… If you want."

Her soft smiled widened. "Okay." She mock-frowned, pulling out the script with one hand and raising a threatening finger with the other, " _but_ if you make another stupid face..."

Later, after Hiccup had gone home with him promising to help Astrid practice her lines, and Sigrid promising at least she and Astrid, if not his father or Finn, would be going to see him at the turf the next day, Astrid thought again of Erik's voicemail.

Still awake, sitting in her bed in the guest bedroom, she pulled out her phone to check the text she'd sent him.

' _I just got your voicemail. Explain. Clearly and briefly.'_

She figured she'd be getting an answer by morning.

* * *

The race was at noon, but they'd had to leave at nine because they'd be getting stuck in traffic.

Sigrid had pointed at the long line of cars before and after them in the lane leading down south of the Isle.

At 11-ish, Finn dropped them off at the turf's parking lot, already grumpy about 'lousy drivers' and how they were 'not following the driving safety regulations' and driven off still muttering about a man that'd tail-gated them part of the way.

As they walked, Astrid and Sigrid passed by groups of grown men zealously discussing the outcome of the race (some men favored Hiccup strongly while the rest favored some guy they called 'the American.'), that ended with one of the men punching another and a brawl breaking out.

Some nearby families sped away from the fight, and Astrid and Sigrid followed them to the entrance.

When they deviated from the ticket booth, where a sizable line was still moving along. The number of people gathering at the entrance, laughing, playing music from speakers and just chatting reminded Astrid of a stadium before a major sports match.

"This is insane!" she said to Sigrid, eyes and smile wide, drinking in the crowd's energy.

Sigrid laughed, " _this_?" she said, gesturing to the throngs of people with her chest swollen by pride and a rich warmth in her voice, "this is Berk."

She let Astrid observe the people before she pulled on her elbow. "Let's get on, then, we've got the best tickets."

Berk's turf was oval-shaped, with common seating stands all around for the general public as well as a couple of booths they could access only by presenting their named tickets and ID. (Which presented a bit of an inconvenience when the guard had commented on how Astrid looked nothing like Stoick, Hiccup's father. It was only by Sigrid's throwing Hiccup's name around that they'd been let through.

The tickets Hiccup had given Sigrid gave them access to a nice view and the company of Gobber and a group of men that were badgering him.

"Hiccup's ready. Been havin a winning streak he has, for the last two years!" He said confidently to the group of men.

"Good," said one of them, looking vaguely familiar. He was nodding along with the other men. "I have a ticket on him placing first."

There was a gasp to her left, and Astrid's aunt was marching towards the man that'd spoken, who was now cowering from her ire, trying to hide behind another of the men, but he was given no mercy and thrown to the front of them.

"Snotlout _Jorgenson_!" she reached down and grabbed his ear, "you're betting! On your _cousin_!"

Astrid remembered him from the Haddock ranch now, trying to act suave in front of her.

"Si-si-si-Sigrid!" his confident voice had turned high pitched, clawing at his ear as he was dragged out of the booth by her aunt.

Faintly, Sigrid's voice could be heard: "I did _not_ change your nappies for nothing, young man!"

The rest of the men laughed, with the exception of another that hung back. Taller, but very obviously related to Snotlout, with his black hair and a stubborn frown. He had his arms crossed and addressed the other men and Gobber.

"Told boy'o not to bet anymore, but he seems to hate an honest day of work. His mother will hear about it."

* * *

Tuffnut Thorston held Fury as Hiccup mounted, and then promptly slapped Natt Fury's butt, shouting in a theatrical voice "go on you, ugly beast!"

Had another, less experienced rider on the saddle and a more neurotic horse, the horse-rider tandem would've shot out of the pen at a furious speed, but as it was Hiccup, all he had to do was rein in the horse and give him a firm command, "Fury," he called so that Fury only walked off a little away from the previous spot instead of bursting into a gallop.

Hiccup half-turned to give Tuffnut an unimpressed glare.

But Tuffnut was already lamenting, "aww, man! Why you gotta kill my vibe?"

Exhaling tiredly, Hiccup started Fury at a canter out of the mounting and dismounting area, easing him into a gallop once they reached the turf's grass, to the exhilaration of the crowd, that welcomed them with the shouting of his name and clapping.

To his left rode Eret Anderson. That made him smile. There was also Gustav, a trainee from the Haddock ranch, out on his first race at 16. He didn't quite know the others, they were other trainees from the Berk turf, and he wasn't the most sociable person.

Fury slowed again slowed to a canter as they reached the holding pens, ending up with Eret (who was recognizable with his red and blue stripes over his back) on Hiccup's left, riding Skullcrusher, a horse with a nasty headbutting habit.

"Hiccup! Ready to get your butt kicked?"

Eret was giving him a friendly smile that he couldn't help but return.

"Hey, Eret."

Eret's brow furrowed in concern, but he wisely chose not to bring it up.

"God, last race of the season, pity it's so short here," Eret tried to chat, but didn't get more than a non-committal hum from Hiccup. "My whole family's down here to see me race! I'm a little nervous, to be honest," he tried chatting again.

"Yeah." Hiccup watched the disappointment in Eret's eyes. "Sorry… just… focusing."

Eret shrugged, "don't worry. It's good."

* * *

"-He's acting weird today," Gobber confided Sigrid and Astrid, back in the booth. "He's fidgety."

"Why?" said Astrid as Sigrid wringed her hands in her lap; they were already sitting, ready for the race.

Gobber shrugged, "dunno. Not his da, and he doesn't tell me much these days. What say you, Sig?"

Sigrid's gaze was fixated on the turf in front and below them. "Me, too. I haven't really talked to him recently," she admitted, guilt darkening her voice.

A cheer broke out and from the mounting/dismounting area out came the horses, one by one, and the presenter calling the jockey and horse's names. The other men in the room shouted a spirited "YEAH!" when Hiccup's name was called out, and Astrid saw a blur with a black vest and white breeches riding a black horse.

Seeing her squint, Gobber rummaged in his bag before pulling out some binoculars and hurriedly handing them to Astrid. She thanked him quickly while Sigrid stared at Gobber in disbelief.

"Wha-? I like bird-watching!" he defended himself to Sigrid, "forgot you glasses girlie?" he asked Astrid.

"Don't need those," muttered Astrid, trying to find Hiccup in the turf.

Always willing to help, Sigrid pulled on the binoculars to direct her towards the holding pens.

The crowd had fallen into silence as the presenter was calling the countdown.

A shot went off and the horses burst from the holding pens at a furious gallop! Hiccup lagged behind a guy in red and blue stripes and another jockey with a fawn-colored horse, wearing a single, purple star on his white vest. Sadly, the latter's horse got fatigued and quickly fell behind, leaving the striped guy and Hiccup on the lead.

The men behind Astrid, Sigrid and Gobber quickly became restless, but nobody dared shout or even speak.

It seemed Gobber's worry was for nothing as both leading jockeys evened out, horses riding head to head, and Astrid was perched at the edge of her seat.

A flash and it was a picture finish. The crowd waited, the anticipation building higher as the committee decided on the winner.

The group of men in the booth started to chatter and Astrid tried to tune them out.

After a good minute, during which the rest of the contestants cantered their horses out of the turf and into the dismounting area, waiting for their assigned stable hand, the committee called their deliberation, Hiccup and the striped guy following the rest last.

As soon as she heard it, Astrid jumped up from her seat and started clapping furiously, a bright and wide smile on her face. She'd have to congratulate Hiccup later.

Her eyes were glued to the line of his back and the movements his body made as the horse trotted to the dismounting area. And then she had to look at the little curve hiding in those breeches, leaving her throat dry and her face warm.

And then she had to watch his prosthetic slip and get tangled in the stirrup as he started to dismount, and his whole body slamming on the ground.

* * *

 **Hi everyone! I'm so sorry for the delay, but i'm now working full time and the adjustment period has been a little rough. I was also having problems writing this chapter because a big part of it is describing actions (really needed to fasten the pace a bit) and so I really wanted to end the chapter with Hiccup falling on his face. How's that for 'no distractions'?**  
 **Poor dude can't get a break.**

 **No guest reviews this time? :(** t **hat's alright!**


	9. Ocean

**Chapter 9: Ocean** by **Native**

 _I'd rather see the ocean once in a lifetime_

 _And miss it for the rest of my days_

 _Than never feel the sand beneath my naked feet_

 _And never hear the sound of breaking waves_

* * *

Astrid had only ever been to a hospital once before.

She looked around the quaint waiting room; the hospital was smaller than she'd expected.

The last time she'd been inside one had been years ago, back in New York.

This time, she was no longer a child. She wasn't afraid. Her mother wasn't here, with her stony grief.

Her father wasn't dying in an operating room somewhere.

And Gobber was hard at work, fanning Sigrid, who was gripping the chair's arms with a strength to rival the Hulk, in an unsuccessful attempt to calm her down.

"Gobber," Sigrid said, not really looking at anyone or anything, her voice frantic and choked up, "Gobber," she repeated "what if he hit his head? What if he dies?"

Something in the urgency of her tone settled in Astrid's heart. But he was conscious, right? He didn't seem to be inconvenienced further than the wound in his ego, and some pain on the side.

Sigrid was crying.

"Calm yer head down, woman, yer know he's a bit more hard-headed than most."

"Right," agreed Sigrid, "right." But she was still sniffing.

Astrid jumped up from her seat, giving her crying aunt and Gobber a lame excuse about going to the bathroom before disappearing down the corridors until she found a large window.

From there she could see a large building, more modern than she'd expected, with its edgy design. It was already 5 pm, so most kids would be gone, but a soccer team was running in the barely visible field (too far away to see it clearly) and, fingertips pressing on the cold glass, Astrid realized she was hungry.

It was hunger for a different life.

A simpler, peaceful life.

A more fulfilling life.

She turned away from the window and started to try to find her way back to Sigrid and Gobber. As much as a simpler life sounded attractive, she knew she wouldn't be content now that she had something she wanted.

Her mother had once said to her 'If you're interested, you'll do what's convenient. If you're committed, you'll do whatever it takes'. She'd meant it as encouragement for Astrid's modelling career, but it might as well apply to what she really wanted to do.

'Whatever it takes.' That's why she'd asked Erik to explain himself.

Hiccup's nasal voice made her realized she was back with the group: "they said the X-ray was just fine, it's just the bruising, Sig. I promise I'm fine."

Sigrid was still sniffing, "good."

"Gots ter go take care of yer horse," said Gobber, clapping Hiccup on the shoulder and saying 'oops' when Hiccup groaned.

Gobber had been long gone and the sun was starting to show signs of setting when Finn finally appeared, driving his van.

From the driver's seat, he scanned Hiccup with a frown. "Get in, the lot of you."

Sigrid helped Hiccup get on the van as Astrid held Sigrid's purse and Hiccup's bag and got on after him.

Watching her climb on the passenger seat, the look on Sigrid's eyes made Finn bristle. Eying him through the mirror, he scolded Hiccup.

"What happened?"

Hiccup, leaning back languidly on the seat, frowned, "I fell."

"You fell?"

"Yes. I'm sorry."

Finn started the van and started driving away. "You should know better to be more careful."

"I'm sorry," repeated Hiccup.

They drove mostly in silence, the sun starting to dip, and turning everything into a molten world, stretching over vast valleys and distant hills.

Looking away from the window, Astrid was surprised to find Hiccup staring at her.

"Your hair is so pretty. The sun shines on it like gold, so pretty" he slurred, raising his hands as if to frame her, wincing and dropping his hands when they drove over a pothole.

She laughed, "Thanks. Are you high?"

His head lolled in her direction, and she wasn't sure it was on purpose. "No, just really tired. And painkillers. I don't… think the doctors noticed I'm HALF the size of a regular Berkian," he blinked, his mind showing its processing on his eyebrows, "Oh," he winced.

"You okay?"

"Oh, I'm gonna regret saying the golden hair bit in the morning, aren't I?"

Astrid giggled, "you definitely will. That was a real dork move."

Goofy lips stretched over his gap-toothed smile, "well, it made you blush."

Her face warmed, did uncle Finn turn off the AC? "shut up and just rest," she crossed her arms. "…dork." She spit it as an intended insult, but Hiccup didn't seem to take it at face value.

"mhmm. Okay," he said with the same goofy smile on his lips, and his eyes closed for a nap.

Once they'd arrived to the Hofferson's, they woke Hiccup up and had him open the door while Sigrid stayed behind.

He walked into the living room, that had a feeling of old-coziness. Like something once-beloved that had been abandoned. Over by the fireplace, the mantel was covered with pictures. Of Sigrid and Finn's wedding, one of Sigrid with a bunch of kids from when she'd had a day nursery (he spied himself, Fishlegs, his cousin Snotlout, the Thorston twins, Nutface Larssen, and Frieda), one of the whole Hofferson family (despite seeing the picture before, Hiccup now wondered if the little girl whose hair Frieda was pulling on was Astrid.), one of him and Frieda, and one of Finn, Sigrid and Frieda together. On the far right, there was an individual picture of Astrid (or at least he guessed; the girl looked too old to have been Frieda), but it looked staged.

Not the normal staged, where the adults tell you to smile and say 'Gronckle', but the kind that makes one wonder why they'd make the child go through the bother instead of just getting a doll.

Next to that picture, there was a small, square-shaped picture of himself at 9 years old, featuring his gaping squirrel teeth.

His face warm, he reached to put it face-down, holding in a grunt over his aching right side.

Outside, Astrid was doing her best to honor subtlety and avoid the fight brewing between her aunt and uncle as she took out Hiccup's bag and tried to follow him inside.

"-cause no matter how much you smother him, you're just giving him a place that he doesn't… he doesn't have!"

"I'm just…" Sigrid, eyes heavy with tears, crossed her arms and turned away from him, making Astrid duck so she wouldn't be discovered. "I'm trying to make it up for him."

This made Finn pause. "For the… for the leg?"

Astrid crouched behind the wheel. Her heart sped in her ribcage.

Her uncle's voice came again, "I'm not sure _feeling sorry_ for him will make his leg grow back. Or bring back Frieda."

"Don't you think I know?!" her aunt's voice was desperate. "Don't you think I wake up every morning and wonder… and I can't do ANYTHING about it! anything to change what happened." Sigrid was crying, "I can't get her back but it's all I can do. Make sure it never happens again-make sure he's never hurt-"

There was a pause, and suddenly Sigrid's crying became muffled.

Astrid wondered if the time to exit this position gracefully would come.

"It's all I can do," repeated Sigrid.

Finn sighed. There was silence for a moment before the gravel let Astrid know her relatives had moved. "Go inside now, love. Let Hiccup know he's staying, at least until Stoick's back."

Sigrid let out a shuddering breath and started walking away from the van and into her house.

Astrid couldn't move. How could she check out if the coast was clear?

"I'm sorry, my girl. It seems you get caught in all our arguments."

Looking to the right, she realized her uncle was pulling a tool bag from the trunk of the van.

Astrid stood up, holding Hiccup's bag tight between her arms. "Do you fight about the color of the walls?

He paused, "excuse me?"

"Do you fight about the color of the walls? The drapery, the china, the flooring?"

"I…" Finn frowned, "no. We don't."

Still holding the bag securely, Astrid shrugged, "You fight about things that matter. I think that's good."

"I suppose," Finn sighed.

"I'm sorry about Frieda, uncle Finn. I wish I'd gotten to know her."

After setting the tool bag on the floor, her uncle set a hand on her shoulder, his eyes tearing up and his voice profoundly shaken.

"Losing a child is a terrible thing, Astrid. I hope you never know the feeling." He patted her shoulder twice before picking up the bag, locking the van, and walking away.

She gave him space to walk ahead and was about to finally enter the house when Sigrid intercepted her at the front door.

"Astrid! Here you are! Let's go to the Haddock's; help me pick up Hiccup's things and the dog."

"I-but the bag-!"

"It's fine," said Sigrid, now almost dragging Astrid by the elbow. "We can use it to pack his things."

Toothless, Hiccup's large black dog, and Astrid eyed each other with disdain at the front door when Sigrid and she arrived at Hiccup's house but followed them to Hiccup's room without any more attitude.

Astrid found it weird to go inside so she watched her aunt pack him a bag, and Toothless watched her stand by the doorframe.

It was fun hearing Sigrid scold Hiccup for the amount of clutter he kept and how he hadn't dusted the shelves in a while.

"-and he does notice, dear! It's not like he doesn't notice, do you know how I can tell?"

"No, how?" asked Astrid with an impish smile on her face.

"See the tracks of dust here," Sigrid demonstrated by swiping her finger, "and here? It means he's moved things around, but he hasn't cleaned."

Sigrid continued muttering in Berkian under her breath, probably about Hiccup's organizing habits.

Finally, they were walking back, Toothless running around the field, but never losing sight of them.

Once they reached the Hofferson house, Astrid noticed that the van was gone, and so would Finn, which made Sigrid curse and rush to the door.

Hiccup greeted them with a yowl when Toothless jumped on top of him to greet him.

"H-hey bud-Ow! Ow-ow-ow-ouch!"

Sigrid hurried pulling the dog off Hiccup and finally letting him breathe. "Oh, hush, Toothless! Shoo!"

Still panting and holding his right side tenderly, Hiccup walked back to the living room, "is the other dog at the vet's?"

"Well, neither Fishlegs nor Sven have called me. She might have to stay there." Sigrid said, confirming both Astrid and Hiccup's suspicions. "Oh, she's just so sweet, and lovely.".

Hiccup snorted, then winced, "sweet? that thing destroyed my dad's slippers and a bit of the couch."

Toothless barked in agreement.

"Maybe she has anxiety," Astrid piped in.

"She does. Which is why I'm thinking of finding her a permanent home. I can't take care of her the way she needs to."

Astrid tried and failed to keep her disappointment to herself, "that'd probably be for the best."

Sigrid eyed Hiccup's stance, then sighed, "are you sure you don't want to stay in Frieda's room?"

"I'm sure. Thanks anyway," said Hiccup with a tight smile. He turned to Astrid, "why don't you take the dog in?"

She set Hiccup's bag on the coffee table. "Not practical. I'm going back to New York in mid-July."

This deflated him. "Oh... right..."

"You didn't think I was staying here forever, did you?"

"I... I think I did, for a minute. Sorry."

There was a pause that Sigrid took advantage of. "I'm getting the comforter and a softer pillow."

"Thanks!" called Hiccup to Sigrid's retreating back. "Why don't you take her to New York with you?" He started searching through his bag until he found the cases for both them and his glasses.

Astrid crossed her arms, cocking her eyebrow, "you're assuming I want to keep the dog."

Still looking for something else, he flashed her a smirk. "Fishlegs told me he saw you cooing at her."

"What? I..."

The smirk remained on his face, "he was shocked celebrities were _human_ like the rest of us."

She grunted and plopped down on the armchair. "I should have shut him up when I had the chance."

He took off his lenses and put them away. He grimaced again at the movement. "Makes you relatable."

"I guess."

She took in his careful movements and his pain. "C'mon Mr. Relatable. Don't you wanna lay down for a minute?"

He gave her a wry smile, "that's very funny but I can't laugh. Happiness hurts now, apparently." He sat down and propped his feet up on the sofa. "Nobody warned me of the side effects of falling on your face. I wouldn't have done it if I'd known."

She laughed.

They sat in a comfortable silence for a moment.

Until Astrid broke it. "Are you sure you're fine here?"

Hiccup yawned, "honestly? I'd feel better if I was in my own house. I don't want to intrude."

"Why don't you tell Sigrid?"

He shook his head. "It's not ideal for me, but Sigrid will be calm this way." He leaned back so that he was lying down fully on the sofa. "And she wouldn't be able to sleep well if she was worried about me back home."

"But you're fine, aren't you? it's just a bruise."

Hiccup shook his head again, though now slowly. Groggily. "Her fear doesn't work like that."

Astrid hummed, and stood up, arms crossed as she looked at the pictures hanging from the walls and sitting on the fireplace mantel.

She thought of her dead cousin, and her father. She certainly didn't know and couldn't understand what it felt like to have and lose a child, but she figured that loss was a transcending experience.

The pain of losing a loved one was similar enough that Astrid couldn't bear thinking more about it.

But she didn't have to. Sigrid came back with the blankets, startling Astrid out of her thoughts and asking her to take some of them.

Looking in Hiccup's direction, she whispered: "oh, he's already asleep."

Turning, arms now laden with a comforter, Astrid confirmed. "Oh, yeah."

Noticing Astrid staring, Sigrid shot her a raised eyebrow, continuing to tuck Hiccup in, "is it weird for you?"

Sigrid fussed around Hiccup, tucking him in and taking off his leg as Astrid sat down on the armchair and watched.

"The leg?"

Sigrid hummed as confirmation, setting the prosthetic aside, then straightening, and stretching her back.

"Not really. Just not used to it."

Sigrid paused to stare at her, "how's that different from 'weird'?"

Astrid leaned back on the armchair, "there's a world of difference, Auntie."

"Fair enough," she gave a final stretch, sitting down on the arm of the sofa, pausing cautiously when it groaned under her weight.

Sigrid looked at Astrid "I keep feeling like I've ruined your trip."

Astrid shook her head, reaching to pat Sigrid's own fretting hands on her lap. 2You haven't. Promise."

Sigrid took Astrid's hand between her own, "you're too kind, scrawny. You don't have to lie for my sake."

This made Astrid smile wearily, "It's just been nice, feeling like a normal person."

"What were you before, an alien?"

Astrid laughed loudly, making Hiccup stir and groan, which made Astrid blush and Sigrid quiet down, seeing Hiccup settle back down.

They both sighed, relaxing in their seats.

Sigrid stared at Hiccup lovingly, reaching down to move his hair out of his face.

"He looks so peaceful when he's asleep."

' _Does he?'_ Astrid had a hard time not getting lost counting his freckles and wondering if guys could have lashes that thick. "He looks younger."

Sigrid was trying to comb his hair to perfection "I love him dearly," she said, tucking his hair behind his ear, a soft smile spreading over her face. "I love him as if he was my own son," said Sigrid both to herself, but gave Astrid a sheepish smile, like she was surprised she'd voiced it.

"I can tell."

With a sad smile on her face, Sigrid straightened. "I don't know how Valka managed to abandon him. If it was Frieda, I'd give anything just to hold her again," her voice was too choked up to speak, and she cleared her throat. "I'm sorry," she said to Astrid. "It's just... the anniversary coming up, and Hiccup getting thrown from his horse..."

"He didn't get thrown, Auntie," interrupted Astrid.

"What?"

"He didn't get thrown," she repeated, "I saw it all happen."

"I..." the fog on Sigrid's face started to clear. "Right. No. You're right. It was only that one time. He'll be fine."

"The doctor said so." Astrid took Sigrid's hands and tightened her grasp on them.

"The doctor said so." repeated Sigrid faithfully squeezing back, almost like a prayer.

After a moment of awkward silence, Sigrid insisted on them both getting to sleep.

It all made Astrid think back to Hiccup's comment from earlier. "Her fear doesn't work like that."

She found it very accurate.

* * *

Dlydragon chapter 8 . Aug 8

I love the interaction between hiccup and astrid, they are undoubtedly the uni for the other, and now what does Eric want ? leave in peace our beautiful astrid

 **What does Erik want, indeed! we shall see! and thanks! here's more interaction between them**

Guest chapter 8 . Aug 8

Aw man poor Hiccup. It's funny how a lot of fics have Astrid looking at the booty. I mean I don't blame her

 **He doesn't have a big booty but he has one, and we all look at our crush's booty, right?**

Guest chapter 8 . Aug 8

Just found this and read it all in one go- I love it so far!

 **Thank you! I hope this is still nice**

 **This chapter is a bit short but it's very heavy emotionally and I thought it was best to cut it short than to add things that didn't fit thematically (I decided that this chapter was all about pain, grief and guilt, revolving about Frieda and what Astrid thinks, but we're tugging on different plotlines next chapter, like Valka, Ingrid, Erik, and definitely Snotlout: the child i never knew I loved.)**


	10. The Only Boy Awake

**Chapter 10 – The Only Boy Awake** by **Meadows**

 _When your love grew, I was there too  
I should have told you  
I'm the only boy awake now  
Gazing at the stars, I dive into the blue and You_

* * *

Wednesday, June 13th.

* * *

"Sigrid!" called Finn from next to the van, "ready, love?"

"Just a minute!" Sigrid struggled to tie her boot's shoelaces by the foot of the stairs. Huffing as she straightened, flattening her jumper, she gave a smile at Toothless, who raised his head, tongue lolling out of his mouth, his tail was wagging as Sigrid passed him by.

She poked her head in the kitchen "Astrid!"

The girl turned, hiding something behind her back, attempting to keep her poker face.

Shaking her head with a smile, she decided to ignore Astrid's sin. "Are you coming with me to the ranch today?"

"Auntie! Oh…" She hesitated, casually inching back to the counter so she could free her hands.

"Or, you could join Hiccup. He's going downtown."

The marmalade jar dropped on the counter with a _clang_ that made Astrid cringe. "I'll do that. Yeah."

"Alright. He can drive you back before he goes home, yes?"

"Goes home?" asked Astrid.

"We're late!" shouted Finn.

Sigrid fondly rolled her eyes. "I'll see you at dinner then," she said to Astrid, and dashed off to meet her husband.

Astrid followed her to the hallway, calling out her goodbyes.

The front door slammed closed and Hiccup jumped up awake.

Blinking slowly, he turned his bed-hair to Astrid. "Sigrid's gone?"

"Uh… yeah," she answered. His voice was raspy with sleep and he looked like absolute shit. Why was she having a hard time thinking?

She tucked her hair behind her ear. She _had_ combed it, right?

Hiccup groaned and flopped back on the sofa.

Astrid frowned, and entered the living room, sitting on the arm next to Hiccup's head. "C'mon. Sigrid's off taking care of your horse and you're here lazing around and we _gotta go_."

"You know it's not actually Sigrid taking care of the horse, right?" grumbled Hiccup.

"Then who is?"

"My friend, Eret. Sigrid doesn't ride anymore."

"I knew that."

Hiccup had closed his eyes and seemed to be drifting off to sleep.

Astrid scowled and poked his bruised side, earning her a yelp.

Hiccup half rose, scooting away from Astrid and glaring at her. "You've really got to stop doing that."

She transferred herself from the arm to the seat next to Hiccup, "I didn't think it'd still hurt that much."

"Well, it does," he said, scooting back again.

Her frown had turned from annoyance to concern. "Can I see?"

Hiccup seemed to realize all at once that she was asking to see him shirtless and his heart picked up its pace.

Lifting his shirt over his right side as an answer, he was hyperaware of her eyes touring his skin.

Astrid was fixated over the greenish, almost yellow splotches over his side. Her fingertips extended before she could stop them, but before they touched him, she raised her gaze to meet his green eyes in a silent question.

His lips stretched over a shaky smile and she had to make herself swallow.

Her fingers ghosted over the bruise settled on freckled skin, making him shiver.

She broke away from him, clearing her throat. "You heal fast."

His shirt came down faster than it'd gone up. "I… yeah." He hummed a tune through the awkward silence. "Right!" he said, standing up and looking anywhere but in Astrid's direction. "I've gotta go home today, so…"

"Yeah," she, too, stood up, tucking her hair back and distracting herself with making it into a braid. "You're going home today?" she asked, still struggling with braiding.

Folding the sheets he'd been using, Hiccup shrugged. "My dad's coming back tomorrow, so I have to re-stock the place and clean a bit, so he doesn't notice I've been here for so long."

"Oh." She guessed six days were a lot to not be at home for some. Astrid finished the braid by securing it with a black tie she'd been holding on her wrist.

Astrid waited for him at the front door. They'd agreed on packing what they'd need (Hiccup all his things, Astrid her phone and wallet,) and meet there when ready to drive downtown to have breakfast and do grocery shopping.

Hiccup arrived, carrying his duffel bag and a clinking, heavy-looking plastic bag.

"Toothless' things," he explained at her raised eyebrow. "I picked them up when we stopped at my house yesterday."

"Oh," she frowned, taking the bag from him, "I don't remember that."

He smiled, "you were already asleep. Never thought you'd get tired so early."

She scoffed, failing to keep the smile out of her face. "Never thought you'd be so hard to wake up in the morning," she said, waiting until Hiccup and Toothless were out to close the door behind her.

"Hey! This," he said gesturing to all of himself, "needs its beauty sleep!" he called to her after tossing his duffel bag and opening the backseat door for Toothless to jump through.

"Well, it's not working!" she threw him a teasing look before opening the passenger seat and climbing on.

Hiccup started the jeep and they were off on the road. He looked to his rearview mirror occasionally to see girl and dog play, both amazed and jealous at the easy friendship Astrid and Toothless had developed over their stay at Sigrid's.

"He's much sweeter to you than me."

Astrid returned to her position in the seat, amused, "he is?"

"He must like you better."

She smiled, trying to keep her hair from abandoning her braid, "well, I am much prettier."

Instead of answering, he smiled. She was quite right. "I..." he looked at Toothless through the mirror. "I see how it is, bud!"

Toothless barked.

Hiccup turned to Astrid, "he barely tolerates me."

"You must be sleeping better lately, then."

He laughed, remembering her comment from earlier. "Well, you're the authority on beauty sleep."

They smiled at each other.

The bubble burst when the jeep jumped harshly over a pothole.

Astrid recoiled, blinking twice, looking out the window. "Actually, there's something I gotta do downtown."

"Oh?" Hiccup tried not to think about why he felt so disappointed.

"I need to go to the vet's."

"Is it the Wi-fi?"

"Yeah."

He nodded, eyes firm on the road. "To Sven's we go, as Milady commands."

And then he said nothing.

Astrid looked at him; waited for him to say something. Anything. But he just kept staring straight ahead.

"Maybe Heather texted me back. Or Erik. Erik is… He's my ex-boyfriend."

"Yeah. Cool," he smiled at her briefly but returned to his mission.

Toothless barked at them to let him out when they arrived at the vet's.

Hiccup humored the dog, and it ran to greet Cami, who sat at the front desk looking like she'd been recently bitten by a zombie.

Astrid raced off to refresh her notifications while Hiccup approached Cami.

Sensing Hiccup nearby, Toothless turned to him for attention, making him kneel to hug him.

"Hi, Hiccup."

He looked up to see Cami looking at him thoughtfully.

"Cami. How's your mum?"

The girl shrugged, making her fluffy hair bounce with her shoulders. "Still stubborn. Still dying. Your dad?"

He winced.

She laughed, "yup. Just as I thought."

"I'm just hoping nobody told him about it," he straightened, struggling with his leg.

"Can I see?"

He shrugged, lifting his shirt so Cami would see.

"Damn," her eyes flashed from his skin to a place behind him before returning to him.

Hiccup shrugged again, putting his t-shirt down. He turned just in time to catch Astrid's eye. He gave her a friendly smile that earned him a conflicted emotion and rosy cheeks.

"What are y'all doing later?"

He faced Cami again. "Y'all?"

"I watched a USA series set in the south. You know how I get with the accents."

He half-laughed; he did know.

"So?"

"What?"

"What are y'all doing later."

"Oh!" he scratched his forearm before setting his hands on the counter. "Not much, really. We'll go explore. I want to show Astrid around the docks," as he watched her pace with the phone held to her ear. They would joke around and laugh together. He imagined her with the sun and the wind on her…

"She's really pretty," Cami interrupted his thoughts.

Gaze jumping from Cami to Astrid and back, he had to force an unaffected shrug. "Yeah. Sure. And funny… and smart…"

Cami gave him a level stare as she popped a piece of gum in her mouth.

He let out the breath he'd been holding. "Right. Okay. I might be slightly," he whispered urgently, leaning in and checking twice that Astrid couldn't hear him, "only slightly nearly half-in love with her."

Cami could almost feel hear his heartbeat increasing its pace; she knew him so well.

Keeping an eye on Astrid, that blushed and turned away when Cami caught her looking in their direction, she whispered back to Hiccup, covering her mouth. "Why don't you ask her out?"

His green eyes filled with furious panic, "you must be joking!" _ask Astrid Hofferson out?_ "She's way too out of reach. And have you seen her ex-boyfriend?"

"Yeah."

"He's this giant of a guy, he looks like Angelina Jolie's had a child with Chris Hemsworth and it grew up in the wilderness like some hot Disney Tarzan-like thing! Why would she want anything to do with me?"

"I don't know," shrugged Cami, "but they did break up, didn't they?"

He shook his head, still whispering, "I'm happy enough just being her friend."

Cami spied Astrid looking at them again out of the corner of her eye and taking stock of their closeness. Taking advantage of it, an impish smile growing on her lips, Cami reached to kiss Hiccup's cheek, chuckling when Astrid frowned and turned away from them again.

"What's so funny?" grumbled Hiccup, rubbing most of her red lipstick off his cheek.

"Oh, nothing," soothed Cami, leaning back on her seat. "You can be so oblivious sometimes."

Hiccup frowned at her, opening his mouth to protest, but they were interrupted by Astrid walking over.

"So, I'm ready for breakfast," she approached them, trying to paint an easy smile over her annoyance. "Hey, Cami."

"Hey, there, hot stuff. When are you coming back?"

"Tomorrow, I think," she turned to Hiccup, "ready?"

Hiccup jumped, "right. Let's go," he extended his arm in the direction of the entrance, "bye Cami!" he called without turning back.

"Think about what I said!" Cami called out to him, waving back at Astrid.

He guided him and Astrid to Helga's, where Astrid had waffles and a hot chocolate for breakfast and Hiccup had scrambled eggs and everyone's questions and jokes about his fall last Friday.

Satisfied, they decided to walk to the docks, Toothless trotting ahead of them to scout their path.

"There's something on your cheek."

"What? Oh, this…" he scrambled to wipe the rest of Cami's lipstick stain off, "it's not… we're not… we're friends."

Her cheeks flushed, "I don't really care."

"Right." He stuffed his hands in the pocket of his jeans.

Astrid sighed. "Sorry, that was rude."

"That's alright."

They walked in silence, and Hiccup was lost in thoughts and memories that Astrid interrupted some moments later.

"You seemed pretty popular, back at the breakfast place."

"I guess," he shrugged, keeping an eye on Toothless.

"I bet there are a lot of girls that wanna get to know you."

He choked, half-laughing, half-coughing. "You can't mean that," he coughed, "don't you remember me falling on my face in front of most of Berk?" he cleared his throat, "I'm lucky I still have all my teeth."

Astrid hummed as an answer, following him down the first set of steps to the dock.

"and you've never dated anyone?" she called, as he was a bit ahead from her.

"What? _Faen!"_ he shouted, tripping and not falling only because he grabbed onto the railing.

She catched up to him, laughing as an old lady muttered angrily at them in Berkian.

Hiccup apologized to the lady again and again as he tried to calm himself, swatting at Astrid because she was still laughing openly.

"So," she prompted, descending the stairs next to him, "have you ever had a girlfriend?"

"I…" his brows furrowed, "yeah. I had a girlfriend in year 2 of Highschool. We're friends now."

"And?" Astrid started down the second set of stairs at Toothless' barking insistence.

"It didn't last very long, and it ended really badly. Sigrid had to watch me whine about it," he chuckled, cringing at the memory.

"Oh…" she seemed deep in thought.

"How about you?" he said as they reached the third set of stairs. They'd overtaken the lady that had cursed at them. "Who did you date before your ex?"

Her eyes flashed a swift blue, "this doesn't leave our conversation."

He nodded fervently.

"Erik is-was my first boyfriend."

Hiccup _had to stop_ , "no way!"

"Yes way." She tucked her braid behind her shoulder, "I've always been too busy."

"Being busy is good, right?"

She shrugged, "I guess."

They finished the third set of stairs in silence and Astrid followed Hiccup, who guided them onto a cave-like corridor that extended seemingly for a long while, mirroring the other across the docks.

Hiccup explained to her that the people had carved this corridor from the stone as a viewpoint out into the sea.

Far away, the chief stones hoisted over the waves, the glittering sunlight reflecting off them.

They could see Berk's ferry (the same that had brought her) departing. The sounds of people chattering and coming and going in the market, greeting Toothless as he went to greet his favorite merchants.

She felt… alive…

"Wish you could see yourself right now."

She turned, to find Hiccup framing her with his fingers.

She grinned, leaning on the stone balcony. "What?"

Hiccup lowered his arms, and Astrid could see him smiling. "You just… you look really happy."

He panicked at her dumbfounded look and continued, waving his hands around, "what I'm trying to say is when you first got here you were always furious about something-oh Gods- it's okay if you're angry-it's just… what I'm trying to say is… Oh my Gods, nevermind," he finished his speech by dragging his hands over his face in annoyance at himself.

Looking back, Astrid realized he was right. The more she realized how she'd started to feel, the more the imminence of her return weighed on her.

She crossed her arms over herself, turning to face the glittering ocean.

After a moment's pause that made Hiccup sweat in unearthly places, she spoke:

"I'm just… I love it here."

Letting out a relieved breath that turned into an exhausted sigh, he turned in the same direction as her.

"I love it too."

The heaviness of his voice startled her.

"I love Berk, but I'm always thinking 'this can't be it'."

"What do you mean?"

His gaze dashed a peek at her, hesitating to speak.

"Hiccup? What-"

"I love Berk. I've learnt to love it. I love the horses. I love racing against the wind on Fury's back. I love the rain, and the market, and Frieda's field but is that it?"

Astrid was so shocked by his sudden passionate speech that she didn't protest when he grabbed her arms. Gentle, but surprising.

"Have you ever seen a lion?"

"Wh-what?" she stammered. "I- yeah, in the zoo…"

He released her. "I haven't. Most of Berkians never leave Berk, and that's alright, I swear, but is this it for me?"

Astrid observed him as he turned away again. Her mind raced.

She got it now. She understood.

How many times had she stood before a changing room's mirror, fully attired and styled before a photoshoot, looking at herself and thinking: _"this can't be all I'm meant to do. This can't be all there is."_

"I get it," she said to him, making him turn to face her. "I want to be an actress. More than anything. I hate that I'm stuck as a model. I hate that I'm never taken seriously."

There was an almost manic look in his eyes as he nodded for her to continue.

She scowled at the thought of people's comments. "Fuck _that_! I'm gonna be an actress."

He copied the grin that'd been born on her face.

"I don't care what people say. I don't care what my mom says. Hiccup!" she turned to him, gripping his arms with urgency. "What do you want to do?"

His grin widened, his gaze glazing over, "I want to travel the world. I want to take pictures and show it people. I want to know more. I want to see more."

"Why don't you, then? What's stopping you?"

He wanted to say nothing. He wanted to look into Astrid's beautiful face and say that nothing would stop him, but his father's forlorn eyes as he looked at Hiccup made him pause.

"My dad," he muttered, his fire dying down- "I just don't want to do the same as mum, I suppose."

Astrid's grin turned into a grimace as she let go of him but raised a hand and placed it on his shoulder in support.

A tender smile sprouted on his face. A smile she returned.

"Henrik Haddock!"

They jumped apart at the sound of Snotlout Jorgenson stomping in his direction.

"Snotlout!" yelped Hiccup as his cousin brought him in for something Astrid liked to call a bro-hug.

"'Been looking everywhere for you -hey gorgeous," he added for Astrid, sending her finger guns, "sorry, don't have time for you today. How's your side doing," he asked Hiccup, the uncharacteristic concern flying over Astrid's annoyed head but making Hiccup wary.

"It's fine," he frowned. "I'm better." He jerked away from Snotlout's grasp on his bicep.

"Good. Ready for the race in Sommerfest?"

"All ready," he scowled at his shorter cousin.

"Perfect. I've got money on your dumb rumpe, so you better win! Or else…"

"You- you did what?"

And as Astrid watched Hiccup threaten his cousin with telling her aunt about Snotlout betting again, and she watched him gesture wildly, she realized something.

She liked Hiccup.

As in….

She _like_ liked Hiccup.

…

..

.

 _Fuck._

* * *

 **Well! Sorry, dear.**

 **Thank you for reading, everyone! I hope you're enjoying this story as much as I am!**

Mark Andrew chapter 9 . Aug 26

Theres two different Eriks?! Astrids ex and the horse riding one that went agaisnt Hiccup? Or they related?  
When will Astrid make the connection between his mom and that she was the photographer for Astrid? If I noted that to be right.  
Where is Ruffnut? You have yet to even mention Tuffnuts twin! She is always where he is

 **There's only one Erik, and that is Astrid's ex, popular heartthrob.**

 **The racing guy is Eret. (Did I write it wrong? I'm going to go and check asap)**

 **Ruffnut! I promise she's coming, but I want to introduce her right.**

Guest chapter 9 . Aug 27

There are definitely some questions I'd like to have answered in this story. Like how Hiccup lost his leg? I hope we get some answers soon!

 **Hi! thank you for reading! I hope this answered some questions!**


	11. You and Me

**Chapter 11: You and Me** by **The Unknown Neighbour**

 _I will meet you on the day when I'll find_

 _The courage to leave my cares behind_

 _Oh you give me hope_

 _Yeah you give me hope_

* * *

In retrospective, she realized Cami had probably been messing with her.

She'd had to listen to Heather's voice message twice because she was so distracted by their whispering, and then Cami kissing Hiccup's cheek while keeping her blue eyes well trained on her.

Overall, she'd gotten the message: do something about it or the dude's fair game.

The thing is: she wasn't sure she _did_ want to do anything about it.

Heather had been right. She'd fortunately caught her still awake and they were able to message each other real time for a bit before her best friend had crashed off.

"You seem like you're making fast friends with everyone, do they know you're not there to stay?" Heather had slyly asked after Astrid kept getting lost in telling her stories.

Astrid couldn't get used to life in Berk. Heather had done her the favor of reminding her.

When she'd come to Berk, she'd expected to get a break, spend time with her family, visit her father's grave, lately, she'd been expecting Heather to come and visit during Sommerfest.

She hadn't expected Hiccup Haddock, with his charming green eyes, his face full of nonsense, gap-toothed smile and freckles, and his lovable big black dog.

Utter nonsense.

He was not a sustainable feeling. It was mid-June already, and she'd be coming back to New York in the middle of July. And from there, who knew?

Maybe she'd gather the courage to pack her things and move to L.A. Maybe she'd stay in New York but still act.

Erik could help with that last one.

He'd explained their deal through text. Careful enough with the grammar that she realized he hadn't crafted the thing himself.

Maybe Mallory had decided to step in now that Astrid's fans were calling her a snake all over social media.

Erik promised her a leading part in a teen series he'd been cast for; something about superheroes. No audition, no fear, it'd be a sure thing. Filming started in September.

If Astrid let the media know loud and clear Erik had never cheated on her, and they'd broken up amicably weeks ago, that is.

He'd tried to make that statement, he'd said, but people didn't believe him.

Then he'd asked her if she was game for it.

And _honestly_? Astrid was considering it.

She was getting tired of being played a victim everywhere: people speculated on where she could be, and how heartbroken she was (not very), and how Erik had been the love of her life and how without him she was _nothing_.

It made her blood boil whenever she thought about it.

So no. She couldn't get distracted from her goal.

Astrid would become an actress no matter what.

Before Hiccup drove them back, they stopped at the grocery store, where they found Fishlegs who was scolding a waifish blond girl, while she heard him drone on and on and on…

"Oh my Gods!" he half-cried, half-whispered when he noticed Astrid. "Look, Ruffnut! It is _actually_ her! See? I told you!"

"Fish!" Hiccup tried to shut Fishlegs up. "We don't want people to hear!"

"That'd work if there was anybody else here," a blond guy, very like the other girl deadpanned.

"Thanks, Hiccup. It's fine. I'm Astrid; Sigrid's niece," she said, offering her hand to any of the unknown blond people to take.

"Ruffnut Thorston," said the other blond girl, high fiving Astrid instead of shaking her hand. "-And this is my twin, Tuffnut," she added, gesturing to the skinny blond guy next to her.

"Yeah yeah; what's the yak like, girlie?"

"The yak? Which yak?"

The twins burst laughing. "I like her already!" called Ruffnut with a devious glint in her eye.

"So do I, sister. So do I," said Tuffnut, and then proceded to dare Ruffnut to see who took longer to eat a whole liter of Ice cream.

"Can they do that?" said Astrid to Hiccup and Fishlegs.

"Yup," said Hiccup, "considering their family owns the store, I'd say yes."

Astrid blinked once, then twice, then turned to the thicker boy, "so, Fishlegs: Did you solve that 'hiccup' you told me about?"

Fishlegs tittered at her pun, "I did, actually, Tuffnut over there said he'd be Hiccup the first. Unless…" he trailed off, looking meaningfully at Hiccup the Current next to her.

"No. Absolutely not, Fish. I'm a terrible actor-"

"He is!" interrupted Astrid.

Hiccup pretended to be wounded.

Fishlegs huffed, "alright then, be like that. Anyway, I think Tuffnut will do well."

"I'd also do well," said Ruffnut, popping her head between Astrid and Hiccup.

Fishlegs sighed, running a hand over his tired face, "no offense, Ruff, you're a good actress and all, and you're _really_ pretty, too, but-"

Tuffnut popped his head next to Ruffnut's between Astrid and Hiccup, gasping, "full offense! How dare you lie to this innocent thing? Everybody knows butt-elf over here," he side head-butted Ruffnut and continued through her complaints, "well, the poor dear isn't the pretty twin, how dare you, director-sir?"

"What did you just say?" Ruffnut's voice was reaching a screech. Hiccup and Astrid stepped away from them.

"Only the truth, yak-butt!"

" _You're_ the yak-butt!" growled Ruffnut before tackling her brother into the ground, the twins rolling around throwing punches and pulling at long hair.

Fishlegs sighed while Astrid and Hiccup just shared a look and burst into laughter.

On the drive back, they rolled down the windows, Astrid enjoying through the mirror the sight of Toothless' head poking out, and Hiccup's auburn hair flying about and burning copper as the sun set.

She closed her eyes and let herself forget everything and just _feel_.

Comfort, peace.

She almost fell asleep, until they arrived at Sigrid's, and Hiccup had to stop and kill the engine.

* * *

Hiccup had been psyching himself up all the way back, thinking back to Cami's words and his memories of walking about the docks earlier; Astrid seemed to have fun with him, she seemed to be comfortable, but…

He couldn't help feeling like he would ruin things.

Glancing at her open her eyes when the car stopped, he cleared his throat to call her attention. "Astrid?"

"Yeah?" she prompted as she unbuckled her belt.

"I… would you like to have lunch tomorrow?" He panicked, stammering at the shock in her face, "I mean, not _together_ , actually yeah together, but not _together_ together, d'you know what I mean? I just thought; I have to pick my dad tomorrow, so I'd be in town anyways and you'll… be there," he trailed off miserably, not daring to look at her.

"Oh…" Astrid got off the jeep and leaned on the window, and after a very awkward pause for Hiccup, she spoke: "Alright. Yeah…" a smile started to spread on her face, "yeah," then the smile vanished, and she frowned, lost in thought.

"I… really?" he blurted out.

She patted the car twice and walked left, in the direction of Sigrid's house.

Hiccup felt the adrenaline starting to crash, and he let out a relieved 'phew', turning the jeep to head down the road.

"Hiccup!" Called Astrid, rushing to the jeep when he braked abruptly.

"Hey… forget something?" he said, poking his head out the driver's window a fearful smile.

"Um… yeah," she stopped, looking to the ground and tucking a strand of hair behind her ear in uncharacteristic shyness. She dashed forward, grabbing his arm and pressing a soft, lingering kiss on his cheek.

Astrid stepped back, stuffing her hands in her coat pockets because she had to do something with them in case they were shaking. "I… thank you for today," she started to walk backwards, flashing him a smile. "I had fun!"

He stared at her for a bit, that stupid gap-toothed smile she liked so much stretching over his lips - _God, she wanted to kiss him_ -, before saying it was no problem, wishing her a good night's sleep and starting the jeep again.

Watching him drive away, Toothless' bark fading into the night, she knew she was making a mistake she couldn't take back easily.

She was making a mistake, definitely!

But if this was a mistake, why couldn't she stop smiling?

* * *

Getting off the jeep, Hiccup felt like he was dancing on the clouds. She'd say yes! She'd have lunch with him! Things were great!

He opened the door so that Toothless could climb down, and went about with a wide smile, putting away the groceries and even managing to set the washer with a load before he remembered the shock and then doubt washing over Astrid's features when he asked her to have lunch with him, and the smile died on his lips.

How could he forget? Of course, she wanted to have lunch. As _friends._ And even then only barely. Gods. He'd almost screwed it up.

He wasn't about to listen to Cami again for a long, _long_ time.

Discouraged, he flopped on his bed, dismissing the disappointed thoughts and wincing at the remaining soreness on his side, eyeing Toothless warily as he climbed next to him.

He sighed feeling Toothless' lay the comforting weight of his head on his belly.

Hiccup thought back to what Astrid had asked him when they were at the stone corridors by the docks.

What was stopping him, really?

He had his friends, and he had Gobber, and Sigrid, but they all would survive without him. The thought was depressing and lonely.

The only ones he'd regret leaving behind were Toothless and Natt Fury, but they could be taken care of. With help, he might even be able to take Toothless with him, so what was stopping him?

Maybe his father, but even if he thought too long about it, the rebellious part of him would say that his life wasn't Stoick's to control; that Hiccup could not live only to make him happy.

So what was stopping him?

' _Fear,'_ said a sinister, undefinable and resounding voice inside him. _'You're afraid of the very thing you long for.'_

The truth hit Hiccup like re-reading a book he'd read a long time ago but forgotten.

The words seemed new, but in reality he'd already known them.

He could say with certainty that he'd known and not known how afraid he was; no, how _terrified_ of trying something and then actually completely failing at it. The thought was unbearable.

Afraid of leaving the same bubble he'd grown resentful of.

He admired Astrid and her bravery even more when he realized that she'd done the exact same thing. She'd taken a failure of hers and she'd determined to make it succeed.

What could he do to prove his father that he was serious about photography?

How could he show him?

How to get his support?

' _The contest,'_ said the voice, no longer sinister.

 _Right!_

He jumped from bed, Toothless glaring at him for disturbing his sleeping arrangement and setting his head on his front paws, observant.

Rifling through his mess of a room, he managed to find his camera, the words _'national identity'_ running around his head.

He was going to win that contest.

* * *

"Had a nice lunch?" asked Astrid when Cami came back from Helga's.

Cami sighed, contented, sitting on her stool. "Only the best. I got the Big Dragon Lunch combo."

" _No."_

"Yes."

"You did _not_."

"I did."

"No fucking way."

"-And it was perfect."

"Holy shit."

"Ya. You should try it."

The Big Dragon combo consisted on an extra-large steak with a side of potatoes, rice and salad, and a Helga's Big Waffle.

"I don't think so…" Astrid had eyed it every time she'd gone with Hiccup, but never ordered it. "I think my mom would have an aneurysm if she saw the calorie count on that," she muttered at Cami.

"Well, honestly? YOLO," said Cami, scooting back to get enough space to put her legs over the counter.

Astrid laughed, "seriously? You're going with that? YOLO?"

"No regrets."

"Really?"

Cami hummed, eyes closed as she thought.

"Only some," she finally concluding.

"So…" said Astrid, trying and failing to be sly, "do you regret breaking up with Hiccup?"

Cami hummed again, her eyes closed, and her arms crossed as she leaned back on the stool, "well, it depends, you see, on the one hand-wait why am I telling you this?" She jumped to full awareness, her back straightening and her neck cracking at a worrying speed, then glared at Astrid's victorious smile through squinting eyes. "How do you _know_ this?"

" _You_ said something, then _Hiccup_ said something. I put two and two together."

Cami grunted. "Fine. Why do you want to know anyway?"

"Just curious."

"Sure," deadpanned Cami, absolutely not believing her. Glancing around to make sure no one was listening, she turned to Astrid, talking in a low voice. "Look. It's not hot goss anymore, it's been two years and me and Hiccup finally have something of a friendship again, but I don't want you telling anyone, capisce?"

"Who would I even tell, anyway? It's like the thing about your boyfriend. But okay then. Got it. So, spill!"

"The tea?" teased Cami with a smirk.

Astrid groaned, "I hate that phrase. Talk. Now."

Cami hesitated, and told herself she was only doing this to help Hiccup. "Okay. So, I got here from Valencia -that's in Spain by the way- when I was twelve with my mom, right? So, I made friends with Hiccup and Fishlegs right away because they were easy to approach, and we were best friends until we were in fifth grade-"

"Fifth grade? I thought you said you got here when-"

"When I was twelve. Yeah. Fifth grade here means you're 15 or 16 years old. Moving on, during Fifth Grade Hiccup asked me out, and I said yes. Then he ended up asking me to be his girlfriend and I said, yes."

"Okay?"

"I didn't want to say yes."

"Oh… Then why did you?"

"Maybe I thought he'd get over it?" Cami shrugged, leaning back. "Maybe I didn't want to hurt his feelings?" She said it as if even now she still wasn't sure herself. "I didn't realize he was serious?"

"Oh… that's… well that's not too bad. I'm assuming you broke up with him when you did?"

Cami avoided looking at her, combing through her wild hair with her fingers. "It gets worse."

"How?"

"I thought maybe if I… _you know_ …with him…"

Astrid blinked at Cami, saying nothing.

Cami cleared her throat, throwing a cautious look back. "In a different situation I'd say it as it is, but Sigrid's around and I don't want her to hear it. The point is I did things wrong and I regret that. So there."

"That sucks," said Astrid, agreeing with Cami's face, then she threw a sharp look at Cami, "I assume you won't say anything I tell you then?" at Cami's nod, she continued, "I regret staying with Erik for so long… We were just together to _be_ together, and things had been stalled for a while now."

"And then he switched you for Mallory."

"And then he switched me for Mallory."

Cami hummed. "Do you miss him?"

The pensive look on Astrid's face disappeared to give way to a gentle smile, "you know? I really don't. I thought I would but my mind's full of other things."

"Other things like Hiccup Haddock's love life?"

"No! Other things like my life in New York, and my mom, and…" looking at Cami's face, Astrid realized she hadn't fooled her. "And, okay maybe a bit of that too. Maybe a lot of that, if I'm honest."

Cami laughed at Astrid's annoyed scowl. "I can tell he likes you. He doesn't come here to talk to me. And he's always driving you around, isn't he?"

"I know he likes me. I'm Astrid Hofferson. Of course he likes _that_. He doesn't like _me_ ," she grumbled, laying her head on the counter. "Besides, I'll be back to NYC soon. There's not even time."

"Time didn't stop you, did it? So nuh-uh. There are other hot girls around, like me. And well, he's not here to see _me_ , is he?"

"What?" said Astrid, jumping up, and noticed Hiccup's jeep was driving down, the tires rolling slowly over puddles left-over by the rain that morning.

She rushed to the computer's blacked out monitor to check her braid was in-place and didn't notice when Hiccup had to take a deep breath before opening the driver's door and how he had to just dust off his clothes unnecessarily before stepping into the vet's.

But Cami did.

Cami looked on, a smile about to burst from the corner of her lips.

She looked as Astrid gave Cami and Sigrid a rushed goodbye, and as Hiccup gave Cami a flat stare at her mocking gesture.

She looked, and thought to herself: _'What a pair of ridiculous idiots.'_

* * *

Guest chapter 10 . Sep 10

I love Cami so much. Also that ending made me laugh so hard hahah

 **Haha! I'm glad! and my friends say the only one I can make laugh is myself :P**

 **Alright guys! this chapter kicked my butt but I think i'm back on track now (this chapter was barely planned so I had to do a lot of thinking with this one. I'll go back to my usual method now.**

 **I also have news: I've divided the outline into chapters finally and it seems as if we'll have 27 chapters and an epilogue! and also i will have to up the rating a bit. Once we reach a certain moment.**

 **I have a question to you: How should we handle the rating thing? should I include warnings for those particular moments?**

 **Also: What do you think Cami did wrong?**


	12. Love Brought Weight

**Chapter 12 – Love Brought** **Weight** by **Old Sea Brigade**

 _Love brought weight to this heart of mine_

 _Gone to waste in due time_

 _Love brought weight to this heart of mine_

 _You're away, but I'll be fine_

* * *

Hiccup was waiting for them, his jeep parked by the side of the entrance building, and Toothless safe inside it, trying to poke his head out through the space Hiccup left rolled down and barking in excitement as he noticed Astrid.

She waved at the dog with a wide smile on her face, but when she turned back, she found that Hiccup was just finishing his embrace with Sigrid, nodding gravely at Finn, and, when he noticed Astrid, he gave her a sad smile.

 _Of course._

They weren't here to socialize. They were at the Berk Begravelseskammer, a series of chambers dug into one of the hills, where the ashes of the dead were kept in spaces allocated to each family.

Today, they were there to visit the Hofferson plass, where the ashes of her family were kept. Sigrid had explained to her that while they did visit the kammer once a year by custom on the weeks before, of and after Samhain (whenever that was), they, along with Hiccup also visited in June 17th, Frieda's death anniversary.

After passing the security check, being asked if they needed a guide (which was answered when Hiccup raised his hand, for some reason) and registering their visit at the entrance building, they entered the main hallway, where the directions were carved in the stone walls, bathed by an eerie glow from the yellow lights.

Their footsteps echoing in their silence only added to the feeling. Astrid had the impression that coming here had to be somber by default.

Hiccup read aloud the signs, written in a different alphabet and Hiccup's little exchange with the receptionist now made more sense.

After a while of turning and entering new tunnels, Sigrid and Finn didn't need more guidance as they soldiered on ahead, leaving Hiccup alone to guide Astrid.

"Hey," he said lowly to her, "are you alright?"

Astrid frowned, "yes? I'm okay. I'm great actually."

"Alright," nodded Hiccup, "if you say so."

She gave him a confused look but kept following his lead.

Hiccup paused before an arched entrance and gestured for her to go in before him.

The Hofferson mausoleum was…

Grand.

She couldn't think of a different word when she saw the carved shelves growing upwards and extending around in the circular room, holding urns.

A tribute to her family's history in Berk.

"Wow…" she almost whispered, looking about.

Sigrid, Finn and Hiccup all gave her indulgent smiles.

"Our family," bragged Finn, "has been with Berk since its creation. Before the name of the Isle was even Berk. Even before the voyage. It's almost as old as the Haddock's"

"This is…"

"Here is where we hold our loved ones," interrupted Sigrid, approaching the emptiest looking shelves, where only two urns were seated. "Some of them went earlier than others."

Astrid started to follow, unaware of Finn and Hiccup moving along with her.

Sigrid reached out to the smallest and newest urn, her fingers delicate and heavy with grief as they caressed the cold metal of Frieda's final resting place.

Almost as soon as she touched it, she retreated, her face scrunched up in agony, to find and cling to Finn's thin hands on her shoulders; safe and firm.

"The gods took from us many chances."

She watched in silence as her aunt trembled, crying, and Astrid hesitated to go up to the couple, and instead did as Hiccup, hanging back a bit to give them privacy.

"I think I was here once," she admitted to Hiccup.

"You were?"

"Yeah."

And the memories were slowly, slowly coming back, like faded, blurry moments.

"It was my father's funeral," she mumbled, eyes focusing on the urn next to the one Sigrid had touched.

It was still sunny when they got out, but their mood was solemn.

"We're going back home, for Sigrid's health," Finn answered Hiccup's question, looking briefly at Sigrid, that was sitting in the passenger seat, eyes closed. "You should go distract yourself, Astrid. Maybe find your friends from the theatre?"

"I guess," said Astrid, eyes fixated on the hill behind the kammer.

"Take her to her friends?" he asked Hiccup, "and bring her back?"

Hiccup nodded, and waited, watching Finn drive Sigrid away before approaching Astrid.

"I don't think you're in the mood to see other people, are you?"

Astrid shook her head, her lips set on a grim line.

"Let's go then."

She followed him without saying anything, though she did greet Toothless, a quiet affection in her voice.

They drove in silence, each finding different thoughts in different parts of the landscape.

Where the hill ended, Astrid thought about her mother.

Where a new hill started, Astrid thought about her father.

Where Raven's point showed itself, Astrid thought about her childhood.

When they stopped, Astrid shook herself from her lethargy, waiting as Toothless didn't while Hiccup brought out something from the trunk.

"It's a hammock," he explained, then asked her to follow him to a pair of trees at the edge of the field and help him tie it securely, suggesting she try it.

Then, as Astrid settled in comfortably, he grabbed one of the larger white stones near the base of the trees and walked off, Toothless coming and going and running around his human.

From afar, she saw Hiccup sit on the ground, and stay there.

Long enough that Astrid felt a little curious, and she had to admit even a little lonely.

Approaching him, she noticed the larger slab ahead, the white stones circling around it. She counted ten.

Hiccup saw her approaching and gave her a kind smile, gesturing her welcome.

Astrid was the first to break the silence. "This… is Frieda's field, right? From when you gave me a tour."

A smile came unbidden for the first time in the day. "You remembered."

"Of course," said Astrid, turning her nose up, "it's where I was harassed about my deepest, darkest secrets."

Despite bantering like this with her before, he couldn't help but stare at her as he tried to figure out if she was actually serious or if she was just teasing him.

Noticing his silence, she smiled. "I'm just kidding."

He let out a relieved chuckle. "Right!"

She smiled at him again before pointing at the stones. "What do these mean?"

"Oh," Hiccup frowned, "it's… ten years since," he said, pointing to each stone, "because here's where Frieda… so I add a stone each year," he capitulated, picking up the most recent stone and pretending to examine it. "I probably should stop this. It must be ridiculous. It's been so long…"

Astrid reached, taking the stone from him and placing it in its original place.

"There is no deadline for grief," said Astrid, crossing her arms over herself. "You miss them because you can't tell them you miss them, and then you feel it again."

"What?"

"That." She reached for her throat with a clawed hand, and turned to Hiccup, eyes stinging, "you feel that."

"Yeah." He knew what she meant. The burn. The loss.

He wanted to comfort her as much as he wanted to be comforted, but he had the feeling she wouldn't take it that way.

Instead, he rubbed his arms for warmth. He'd left his jacket in the jeep.

Eyes firm on Toothless' shape running after some creature, he let the silence linger before he gathered his thoughts.

"I wonder sometimes," he said finally, "if she had lived who would she be, what she would do, what she would think. What she would say. To everything that happens. But each year, her memory feels farther away."

"I know what that's like."

Now both were staring at the stone.

"How did she die?" asked Astrid in a murmur. "I don't… nobody told me how."

Hiccup stood up with Astrid's help, then turned them both to face the road.

"A horse, running fast. Galloping…" and then he turned them towards the direction of the stone. "The horse threw her, there. Instant death. We were eight. She was my best friend. I was there. I thought I would die, too."

And he started to walk, hands in his jeans' pockets.

"When you lose someone, you always wonder what you could have done," she heard him say. "Even when they don't die. Even when they only leave you."

Astrid stared at the stone for a moment more before following Hiccup back to the hammock.

He was already sitting, but he started to stand back up when he saw her approach.

She smiled at him and sat down and patted the space next to her, throwing him a meaningful look.

"Is it alright?"

"I'm not taking your hammock, Haddock."

He snorted at the rhyme ( _it_ _ **had**_ _to be intentional_ ) and settled down, facing her, letting his left leg hang off the hammock.

They swung gently for a couple of minutes, enjoying the unexpected warmth of the weather and the shade of the trees, and Hiccup stretched his hand to scratch or pet Toothless when he returned to them, the only thing Astrid could see was the over-eager wagging of the dog's tail before he ran off again.

"So… Sommerfest is soon, right?"

"Right." Repeated Astrid, eyes closed.

Her peace was disturbed when Hiccup disturbed the comforting motion of the hammock. She opened one eye to investigate, to find him sitting up.

He faltered when she scooted back to sit up as well but carried on bravely. "So… Sommerfest starts in a couple of days…"

"Yeah," said Astrid, leaning back down. "Fiske told me. First is your race at noon, then the rowing race at five pm on the 19th," she listed with her fingers, confirming it with Hiccup's nod. "And then on the 20th,"

"Yes," he interrupted, "exactly. But after all that… well, I'm not sure what plans you've got."

Her eyebrows furrowed in confusion, "why do you ask?"

Hiccup considered her for a moment before he invited her to a trip to a lake house; the Thorston twins, his cousin Snotlout, and some others would be going.

"And you, if you like. It's around a kilometer and half away from here, actually. You can even swim on the lake, since it's not too cold. Solid 18 degrees centigrade in summer."

Astrid gave him a flat stare. "You do realize all those numbers mean nothing to me."

He shook his head, his gap-toothed smile poking out unreserved. "It's really close by and the water's nice enough to swim."

She reached to swat his arm, then leaned back down, stretching her arms behind her. "I don't have my bikini, though"

He scratched his nose and looked away, trying to ignore the skin that called to him as her jumper rode up. "Shoot. Neither do I," he chuckled weakly.

She bit her lip, trying to contain her laughter, sitting up to poke him in the chest with each word. " _You_ , Hiccup Haddock, are a complete and absolute dork."

Mirth shone in his green eyes, expanding through his freckled cheeks, traveling down his face, until she arrived at his lips, that were stretched into a lopsided smile.

Blue gaze flitting back to his and back to his lips, she was hardly aware that her hand had splayed over his chest, and that she was leaning closer and closer. She was hardly aware that she'd closed her eyes.

So, if one said Toothless' rough bark and his barreling on to them was a bit _jarring_ it would be the understatement of the century.

"Sorry," murmured Hiccup, after Toothless settled down on the hammock between them through much complaining and his paws digging into stomachs. A flush had settled on his neck and ears. "Toothless!" he tried to scold the dog, his eyes more firm than necessary.

In a part of Astrid's mind, the part that wasn't reeling with the knowledge that she'd almost kissed Hiccup, she wondered if the earnest way he was nagging his dog was more of a way to avoid her than to discipline.

 _God. She'd almost kissed him._

 _What was she thinking?_

Looking at the distance, she could see a dark cloud had rolled in unnoticed.

"We should go, c'mon." She gave Toothless' body a slight slap and got off the hammock.

Soon enough they were walking back to his jeep, in the kind of silence where something needs to be said but anything rarely is.

With Toothless safely sitting on the backseat, Hiccup started the car, the drive down to the Hofferson's being their first stop.

Watching her look out the window, he knew he _had_ to say something.

"I hope you can come to my race on the 19th." He faltered at her expression. "And the trip! I'd just… it'd be nice: to see you there."

Feeling like he'd said entirely too much, he felt his jaw snap closed.

Astrid brushed her hair back, tying golden strands in a ponytail.

"Only if you come to the play."

"Yeah!" he let out, half a word, and half a relieved chuckle. "I… I have to go anyways: the people expect my father and I there, but…"

This made her pause. _So what did that mean_?

He cleared his throat miserably, "anyway, did you learn the words in Berktung yet?"

She crossed her arms, a frown growing on her. "I've been practicing."

"Do you... want me to erm… quiz you?"

Astrid gave him a sidelong glance and seeing that he was truly trying to make her feel comfortable, she agreed.

What was the harm in this innocent interaction?

Soon enough, she'd be back in New York, so she would remind himself that it was pointless to try anything.

Besides, Hiccup didn't seem to be interested.

Two days later, Hiccup was unsaddling his horse, now that Natt Fury was cooled down: Tuffnut was nowhere to be seen.

The spot next to him was empty. Hiccup suspected his friend and adversary had already sent Skullcrusher away and wouldn't take long to find him.

Natt Fury had won, but only barely.

Hiccup was afraid his own slacking was at fault for their almost defeat.

Footsteps crunched on the gravel, and Hiccup called Eret out.

"What's the matter, friend?" he teased, "too afraid to face your destroyer?"

Expecting Eret's assurances that he'd beat him next time, Hiccup jolted and dropped the helmet he was trying to hang when Finn Hofferson's voice talked to him instead.

"Good race."

"Oh," puffed Hiccup, turning around to face him. "Thanks. Hey Astrid."

"Hi, there," she said, schooling her expression into neutral cheerfulness.

Hiccup smiled at her but turned to Finn as something else called at him. "And Sigrid?"

Finn shook his head for an answer.

"She's not feeling well," excused Astrid, but she felt sorry when he deflated.

"Still?" complained Hiccup.

"I'm sure my wife wouldn't have missed your race otherwise," said Finn, approaching the pen and reaching to shake Hiccup's hand. "Congratulations, again."

"Thanks," grinned Hiccup, shaking Finn's hand. "Again."

"Oh, there you are!"

"Eret!"

This Eret guy was tall, muscular, and looked entirely too heavy to be racing. Astrid wondered how he kept getting the second or third places.

"Oh, that's because everyone else is just too slow to be any challenge."

Astrid felt her face warm at speaking out what she meant to only think. "Sorry," she said, extending her hand. "I'm Astrid."

"I'm Eret Anderson," he answered, taking her greeting.

"Oh, I know how the last name thing works! You're Eret, son of Ander, right? I've been doing my research," she bragged.

Eret gave her an odd look, "actually no. I'm Eret, son of Eret."

"He's American," piped in Hiccup.

"Ah." Astrid frowned, "you have an accent."

"Lived here too long," said Eret with a charming smile.

Finn interrupted them to make his apologies.

"I should get home to my wife." He turned to Astrid, "are you coming back with me? Or watching the rowing event with your friends?" He chuckled when Astrid gave him an apologetic smile, "that's well enough, child. Enjoy your time." Turning to Hiccup, he gave him an earnest look. "You'll drive her back?"

"I will sir."

"Good. I trust you."

This seemed to cheer Hiccup up, and both Hiccup and Astrid waved him goodbye.

As soon as Finn was out of the vicinity, Eret turned to Hiccup.

"Right. I saw your dad leave."

"Yeah. He wanted to cheer Snotlout on." Hiccup said frowning, and his cheeriness dimmed. "He's competing in the rowing race" He added for Astrid's benefit as he locked Natt Fury's wheeled pen, reassuring the horse with a murmur that he'd go visit the following morning.

He patted the pen, waving at Gobber and Sven as they drove his horse away.

Eret squirmed at the mention of Snotlout, a wary grimace making its way on his tattooed face.

Astrid supposed Eret didn't like him. She wouldn't fault Eret for it: Snotlout hadn't made the best impression on her when she'd met him.

The three walked together making small-talk until they reached Hiccup's jeep.

"Right-o!" said Eret, startling Astrid out of her thoughts, and she was surprised to see Hiccup was looking at her with a sad-sort of face he quickly tried to hide.

"I take it you're watching the race with your friends?" asked Eret to Hiccup.

But Hiccup squirmed. "Not really."

Eret seemed to find something in Hiccup's discomfort and nodding as if knowingly. "Oh… okay."

She shuffled, passing her feet from one foot to the other. If there was something Astrid hated was feeling passed over in a conversation.

"Oh, Gods," said Hiccup, passing his hands over his frustrated face. "Astrid, you want to go?"

"Yup!" called Astrid, climbing into the jeep through the passenger seat's window. "Bye, Eret!"

Eret chuckled and waved at her, mumbling something to Hiccup that made him blush.

"Let's go, Hiccup!" she urged when he finally climbed on the jeep and started the car. "Come on!"

"Alright, alright," he chuckled as they drove away from the parking lot, "to the mighty shore we go, my lady!"

* * *

Guest chapter 11 . Sep 29

if the rating of a chapter is bigger, then you need to update the rating of the whole story, though you can put an warning as well. If you want to keep rating for a wider audience, another option would be to skip the scene itself and create a different story with the missing scenes.

 **You're absolutely right! I have updated the rating of the story but will also add a warning when the time comes :D**

 **I don't really like the idea of putting it in a different story: the scenes i'm thinking of are too important to leave aside.**

 **Thank you for your kind advice.**

 **Here it is guys! I've been super busy but I've been meaning to write this chapter since last wednesday. What do you think?**

 **To those coming from tumblr: I did say I hoped you wouldn't hate me!**


	13. You and Me pt 2

**Chapter 13 - You and Me by The Unknown Neighbour (pt. 2)**

 _You will look into my eyes and see me_

 _I will fall into your arms and feel free_

 _We'll be full of life_

 _We'll be full of life_

* * *

The rest of the 19th was a complete bust. Hiccup was so weird and awkward with her.

First, he took her to this place where they could see from afar, but they had an argument about the race being way too far away to see clearly, and then they'd gone to find Fishlegs and the others.

Surprisingly, Cami was there, along with her boyfriend Bertie, who was ignored in favor of Hiccup.

Which was perfectly fine. It's not like Astrid had just gotten rejected by him earlier the same week. It's not like it bothered her that Hiccup had spent the rest of the day talking to Cami in low voices.

And it's not like he'd said goodbye to Cami with a long hug.

It didn't bother her. At all.

And then he'd been in a bad mood because Snotlout, Hiccup's cousin had been the winner and had gotten Hiccup's dad's attention (that the huge, red-headed man was somehow Hiccup's dad was something that still mystified Astrid.)

To top it all off, before he took her back and they said goodbye between awkward silences, Astrid had asked him to bring her to the vet's, so she could pilfer off the Wi-Fi, where she'd found out that her best friend wouldn't be able to make it.

Heather had sent many apologies and a screen capture from a booked flight that showed she'd be arriving on the 7th of July and going back on the 9th, instead of arriving early on the 20th.

Her best friend. Her actor friend wouldn't be there to see her act in a play.

Which she'd rocked, by the way. At least her part! Thankfully, that was before Tuffnut had accidentally set the stage on fire and made poor Fishlegs cry.

His family usually took care of the events on the 20th, and it was Fishlegs' first time directing the Sommerfest play.

"It really wasn't that noticeable, Fish," said Hiccup as he was helping Fishlegs pack things up after the play. "Lots of people just thought it was dragon fire effects."

From a distance, Snotlout snorted.

Astrid sent him a death glare, because even if Hiccup was lying for Fishlegs' comfort sake, Snotlout would ruin everything if he poked at poor, gentle Fishlegs while he was already so sensitive.

Cami, who was passing by, stepped on Snotlout's foot and made him yelp, after which she threw a saucy, scheming wink at Astrid.

Astrid couldn't help laughing. It was hard to stay mad at Cami when she was so lovable. And Astrid could do with more female friends, even if she would have to leave them on July 20th. Her mother had taken her chance to communicate her the schedule for her trip back.

After they were finished loading things on the back of Hiccup's jeep, the group said goodbye and parted, promising to meet at the cultural center later that evening for the party.

She banished herself to the backseat, Hiccup's chatting with Fishlegs lulling her into a nap, which she was woken from by Hiccup.

"Right, Astrid?"

"What?" she mumbled.

Fishlegs eeped. "Oh my Gods! You were asleep! I'm so sorry! _We're_ so sorry! Hiccup, _say_ you're sorry!"

Hiccup gave her a mischievous smile through the rearview mirror. "Sorry."

She nodded. She tried to focus on something other than her feelings. "What were you asking me before?"

He was frowning, eyes keeping to the road, but she wouldn't have noticed if she wasn't looking at his reaction.

"I said earlier that I think my cousin likes Cami."

"What?" she coughed, "Why?"

"I don't know? She's fun?" Hiccup's frown deepened. It was almost like he'd been insulted himself by Astrid's disbelief. "Also," he continued his argument, "he looked angry whenever Dogsbreath was anywhere near her."

Fishlegs had gone silent as Astrid and Hiccup debated, playing with the window switch, pretending to be interested in the machinery that made it go up and down. Up and down. Up and-

"Fishlegs? Do you know anything about this?"

He shook his blond head and seemed like he'd rather be anywhere but in this conversation.

"See!" called Astrid in triumph, "he didn't even _look_ at her most of the time."

"Yeah, well… I guess you're right, probably," he said lowly as he parked in front of Fishlegs' building.

Fishlegs hopped off, and as they helped him bring his stuff up to his family's apartment, he was grateful he'd been able to keep Snotlout's secrets safe.

"Are you going to the cultural center later?" asked Hiccup as he drove Astrid back to Sigrid's.

She shrugged, "Dunno. Maybe. What's happening there?"

"Uhhh… well, there's a group of musicians, and…" he hesitated. "there's some dancing? Also food. It's, uh… it's fun!"

Astrid frowned, "I don't know… I'll… I'll think about it."

He nodded his agreement, but Astrid observed his stoic face. There was something in the tight curve in his lips that she didn't like.

"I just… you know my aunt hasn't been feeling well lately," she tried to explain herself.

"Still?"

"Yeah."

"Oh. D'you think…?"

"What?"

Hiccup shook his head, and they drove in silence until they reached Sigrid and Finn's house.

Shutting off the engine, Hiccup leaned back, turning his head left to look at Astrid unfastening her seatbelt.

"Astrid?" he stammered, "would it be okay if I went in to check on her?"

"Sure, I mean," she started awkwardly, "it's sort of like _your_ house."

"I know, it's just: I didn't want to… because…" his lips went into a straight line as he trailed off. He shrugged, unfastening his seatbelt.

Once both were out, he followed her to the door and they entered the house, their footsteps almost echoing off the light wooden floorboards.

He climbed the stairs after her, and he said nothing as the door to Sigrid's bedroom creaked.

Passing by Astrid, he went and sat down by the edge of the bed, where Sigrid was pretending to be asleep.

"Hey," he said lowly. He kept talking in a soothing tone, telling Sigrid all that had happened during the day. Astrid participated when it was time to talk about her experience with the play.

"I wasn't nervous at all. I wish you'd been there to see it."

They continued talking to her for another half hour before Sigrid's smile curled into a weak smile and she spoke to them, opening her eyes.

"I'm glad you had such an eventful day. I'm so grateful for your care, my dears, but I'd like to rest now, if it's not too much of a bother."

Astrid and Hiccup shared a concerned look, but only said their goodbyes to Sigrid, closing the door behind them.

They said nothing as Astrid walked him to the door, leaning on the doorframe as Hiccup picked up his jacket and wore it.

"I see what you meant, earlier."

She nodded, crossing her arms. "I just don't feel okay going to party while Sigrid is like this."

He took her image in for a long second, before stepping forwards, grabbing her shoulders and kissing her cheek.

There was a moment there, when he pulled back and lingered, that if he hadn't released her shoulders, she would have grabbed on his jacket, pull him down to a comfortable height. Astrid was half-disappointed, half-relieved she hadn't tried to do what she had the day they spent together talking in that hammock. She'd be spared the embarrassment of another rejection.

But then he stepped back, a mad blush spreading through his features.

 _Could it be?_

"Thank you."

"For what?"

He scratched the back of his neck. "You know. Your kindness."

Her face was hot as she pushed her braid back behind her shoulder. "She's my aunt, Hiccup. Of course I'd be kind to her."

Hiccup shook his head, "no. Sometimes being family isn't enough of a reason." He grimaced. "Call my home if you change your mind? I'm leaving at 7. The number is next to the phone in the living room wall."

She said she would, and he waved at her before walking to his jeep and driving away.

Astrid ended up calling him at six fifty, begging him to wait so she could get ready.

They arrived late, with the party in full-swing. The main square, a esplanade that was usually filled with foot traffic and bikes, was now full of people, warm-colored lights, and a small stage for the musicians.

In the distance, Astrid could spot several of her Berkian friends dancing in patterns. It reminded her a lot of square dancing. A terrified Fishlegs was being dragged down the line by a gleeful Ruffnut.

Cami ran to find them at the edge of the crowd.

They both greeted her back, and it wasn't long before Ruffnut and Fishlegs were back and Cami was asking Hiccup to dance.

They took off towards the dancefloor while Fishlegs panted next to Astrid, and Ruffnut went to get them drinks.

Astrid laughed at Fishleg's expression, "what's the matter, Fishlegs?"

Fishlegs straightened his clothing. "Ruffnut is… well, she's terrifying."

She smirked, "awesome girls usually are."

The girl they were talking about was promptly back, shoving some sort of fruity drinks.

"Don't worry, they're not alcoholic," she started at Fishlegs' suspicious look, "not yet at least!" she concluded, her eyes shining with a devious glint.

"Thanks," said Astrid, sipping from her drink, "how's Tuffnut?"

"He's fine," shrugged Ruffnut. "It's just a tiny burn in his forearm," she said, showing them where, "he'll be okay for the lake house," she added for Fishlegs' benefit.

"Oh, that's good!" said Fishlegs, frowning, "I was thinking about that earlier. Are you still driving me?"

"Yup. What about you Astrid? The Thorston cave is near Sigrid's."

"Cave?"

"She means house," interceded Fish.

"Oh! That's okay. Hiccup's driving me."

"Oh, really?" said Ruffnut, raising one eyebrow.

"Don't get the wrong idea."

Ruffnut commented that she was pretty sure she was getting the right idea but couldn't add more since Cami was bringing Hiccup back and Ruffnut wanted to claim his hand for the next song, leaving Cami, Fishlegs and Astrid to chat about the play.

At some point, Fishlegs spotted his nephews and niece and went to greet them, leaving Astrid and Cami alone.

"So, where's Bertie?" asked Astrid.

Cami shrugged. "Who cares?"

"I thought he was your boyfriend."

"Ugh, don't you remember? I told you I was doing a friend a favor. Snotlout's mad enough already. Also, I don't…" she stopped. "Guys just aren't my thing."

This Astrid didn't expect. "Oh. But didn't you and Hiccup…?" she trailed off, hoping Cami would continue.

Except she didn't, barely shrugging. "He was alright I guess, for a guy." She paused, taking Astrid's reaction in. "Does it bother you?"

"No, no. I just… after what you told me, I guess I wasn't expecting that."

"Yes, well," said Cami through gritted teeth, "he was my best friend. I had to try, right?"

Astrid shrugged. "Not really. You didn't owe anyone anything." Throwing a concerned look at Hiccup dancing in the crowd, "did Hiccup make you feel like you did?"

"What? No. _No."_ but then Cami's expression hardened. "Other people did for sure. He never even knew until I told him months after."

Ruffnut dragged Hiccup back to their group at the end of the song, then plainly said she'd ditch them to go and sneak into the hospital to keep her brother company. Or sneak into the place where they kept the fireworks for tomorrow's finale. She'd let them decide.

"Ruffnut! Please, please don't…!" called Hiccup, but she pretended not to hear and ran away. "Great," said Hiccup, turning back to Astrid and Cami. "Let's just hope she was trying to cover up her chicken heart."

"Chicken heart?" said Astrid, making a face.

"Yeah," started to explain Cami, seeing as Hiccup was entirely too taken with the way Astrid scrunched up her nose, "it means you're tender-hearted and easily moved."

"Ruffnut is tender-hearted?!"

"For her brother, yes, that's correct, Milady," said Hiccup with a grand accent, "now," he said, offering his arm as the next song started, "would you care for some dancing?"

"No."

Hiccup blinked at her strong reaction, his arm lowering, "oh."

"I just," she said, reaching for his arm, "I don't know how to dance this music?" she explained weakly.

"No, that's alright. My leg is hurting a bit anyway; it would've been my last." He offered her a gentle smile, then opened his mouth to say something else, but was interrupted.

"Hiccup!"

It was a girl, shorter than Astrid, almost Cami's height, with a pretty sort of brown straight hair, and honey-brown eyes.

"Alina!" said Hiccup.

"Alina," growled Cami.

Alina ignored Cami's greeting, looping an arm around Hiccup's arm, "want to go dance?"

Hiccup shot a miserable look at Astrid and Cami, before sighing despondently, "sure, let's go."

And he was off.

"Wow," said Cami to Astrid in a flat tone. "Do you want me to shoot your other foot or do you have it on lock, too?"

"Shut up." Grunted Astrid at Cami, watching Hiccup dance. Reluctantly at first, but then he started laughing as he stumbled, holding Alina's hand as they passed another couple in the mass.

The air smelled of food, beer, and lost opportunities.

On the 21st, Berk midday arrived before Hiccup noticed via his father knocking on his bedroom door.

"Hiccup! Son! Are you ready?"

Hiccup opened the door, stepping back to let his father through. He had already stuffed his camera in a different bag to throw his dad's suspicions.

"I thought I said no dogs on the bed?" said Stoick, entering Hiccup's bedroom. "And this is a mess. When are you cleaning this?" he said gesturing to the room, where some things were piled up on a chair. Books with dog chew toys, a bag of treats next to his glasses, and his glasses on top of another book by the desk.

"You know Toothless gets lonely when I'm not at home," said Hiccup, wisely not engaging on the topic of his messy room.

"He's too spoiled, that dog," said Stoick gruffly, but still petted Toothless as the big dog stretched on Hiccup's bed.

Hiccup shrugged, straightening and pulling on his clothing in front of the mirror so it looked right, but frankly, he hated it. "Dad, have I got to wear this?"

Stoick grabbed him by the shoulders, turning Hiccup back to the mirror, standing beside him. "There." He said, fixing Hiccup's tunic so it looked less like a sack of potatoes dyed green. "Now you look like a Berkian."

Stoick himself was wearing a chief-like attire, complete with chainmail, part of the armor that was passed down Haddock generations and had done little braids in his usually immaculate ginger beard.

Still holding Hiccup's shoulders, he took a moment to take in his son's appearance. So grown up, but never-changing. He still remembered when Hiccup was but a wee baby, curious and big green eyes in a face that had already freckled. He loved him as much as he did back then.

But he didn't say it. Instead, he said: "If your mother was here, she would've done little braids on your hair."

Hiccup shook off Stoick's grip, "well, she's not." He shrugged, not meeting his father's eyes.

Stoick started out of the bedroom, "let's go. Or we'll be more than late."

"Okay." Hiccup grabbed his back, leaving his bedroom door open, "Toothless you're in charge!"

The dog barked at Hiccup but didn't bother following. The bed was too comfortable.

Once in the main square, Stoick had to go off to make sure all the preparations for the bonfire and the feast were in place, checking in with his assistants, while asking Hiccup to check in with the musicians.

The musicians were all ready, with the addition of a singer. They did mic tests in front of Hiccup to prove it, and as he looked around, he felt inspired.

The bonfire had been installed in the center of main square, and the main hall had been cleaned from the night before, and people were bustling in and out, carrying tools and furniture.

He hung around with Alina at the musician's area.

"Are you dancing much tonight?" asked Alina, blinking at him.

"Me? Oh." He pulled up his camera by the strap. "Not really. I want to take some pictures and keep a friend company."

Helping here and there, taking pictures of the preparations when his father wasn't around, and just generally wishing he'd stay home were some of the ways Hiccup spent his time, but it wasn't until eight o'clock, that the drummers got into place and started drumming away at a consistent, heart-beating rhythm.

Surely, little by little, the people of Berk started to come out, torches in hand, dressed in clothing like those in the paintings.

Hiccup climbed on Alina's little stage, trying to find either Sigrid, Fishlegs, Astrid or Cami in the crowd, but so far, he couldn't find any of them. So many blond people, Hiccup only had hopes of finding Fishlegs because of his size.

Alina shooed him off, having been glaring at him since their conversation earlier, though Hiccup didn't know what he'd done.

He climbed off, though he stayed in the stage's little steps, and, using his camera's lens, he zoomed in into what he thought was Astrid… and Sigrid!

They were walking side by side, Finn behind them. Sigrid was the one carrying the torch and looked somber and wane. It seemed like there wasn't enough sunlight or fire to lighten her up.

Astrid, however.

He had to swallow for fear of drooling.

She looked… serene. The sun lit up her blond hair like it always did, pulled back into a half-updo, and he had to resist the urge to wave at her furiously. She wore a blue and red dress, something he had seen in Sigrid's closet once when he helped her do some spring cleaning.

As he put his camera away, and Alina started her unearthly singing, he decided on one thing.

Tonight, he'd ask Astrid to dance with him. If she said yes, then he'd tell her how he felt.

If she said no again, well… Like Cami had said, he at least could let his feelings go.

He wouldn't insist, and then she'd be gone anyway.

He had nothing to lose.

* * *

 **Hi everyone! just a quick notice that even though I changed the rating of the story it is only due to one scene that will come in the future. I'm sorry, i truly didn't expect i'd be writing it, but I will make sure I'll let you know in the chapter in mention with a note at the beggining of the chapter.**

 **Also a reminder that comments are highly appreciated! What did you think of this chapter?**

Guest chapter 12 . Oct 18

Bro ur an amazing writer,I love what I did with this story of is super cute. I couldn't wait for the next chapter as I read this. Just know that u have an amazing talent to write like this.

 **Thank you so so much! I don't fancy myself as one, i'm certain i have much to learn, but boy, am I so glad that you're enjoying my story 3 thank you.**


	14. Written in the Stars

**Chapter 14 – Written in the Stars** by **John Legend & Wendy**

 _Don't tell me you don't feel what I feel right now_

 _Ooooh, it's written all over you_

 _Don't tell me you don't feel what I feel somehow_

 _Oooh, I keep findin' my way back to you_

* * *

Early on the 21st, uncle Finn woke her up and said he'd be going downtown, could Astrid go with him?

So, Astrid had grumbled and gotten dressed and gotten on the van, then driven downtown, where he stopped at the only boutique of the 4 total in the country that was located in the cultural center and that was open in Sommerfest.

"Uncle Finn, what are we doing here?"

Finn unbuckled his safety belt, "I need your help, darling, but we have to hurry," he said, getting out of the car and making Astrid scramble after him.

She followed him into the boutique, and then realized why it was in the cultural center.

Finn greeted the lady at the counter, but Astrid could look at nothing else but the things displayed.

The interior of the shop was dark, rich wood, and it contrasted beautifully with the racks of different artifacts. From dresses with aprons and circlets on shelves to beautiful beaded necklaces. Astrid could even spot some hair ornaments in the counter.

"Astrid?"

Her head snapped up to meet her uncle's confused glance. "Sorry, I was distracted by the general… splendor."

The lady at the counter smiled at her, "your first time here?"

"Yes," Astrid couldn't keep the slightly awed tone from her voice. "This is all… it looks really nice."

"Well, thank you. Nice to see a young lady appreciating my artistry," said the lady with a smile, then turned to Finn, "I keep trying to get my Ruff to learn how to embroider, but she has such unsteady hands. I hardly know what to do with her."

"Wait, you're _Ruffnut'_ s mom?"

"Yes, she's a nice sort of girl," agreed Finn, but turned to Astrid, holding two different hair sticks. "Which of these do you prefer?"

"Oh," exclaimed Astrid, coming closer to examine them.

They were both made of wood. The first one was dark and had a butterfly carved into the wide end, the indentation painted a bright blue. The second was the same, but the coloring was different. The wood was pale, and the butterfly was a deep forest green.

She pointed to the pale stick. "That one. I like that green."

Finn smiled, "of course you would," he said, and turned to Mrs. Thorston. "I'll take them both, please, Chestnut."

Astrid looked around a bit more while her uncle paid Ruffnut's mom, and followed him out. Her eyes were looking at the people walking about, starting to get things ready for later.

"Oof!"

"Oh, sorry, Astrid." Her uncle said, grasping her arm so she wouldn't fall. "It's just I only remembered I need to get torch fuel."

She frowned, "torch fuel?"

"For the march, later?"

"What march?"

Her uncle shook his head, "I'll explain at home. But we have to hurry if we want to exit the main square before they close it up."

They hurried away, climbing into her uncle and aunt's van, surprised when it stopped not too far away from there, at the grocery store.

"Torch fuel, remember?" he answered Astrid's inquisitive gaze.

"Right."

Although Finn dashed off the corridors, Astrid took her time to walk around, surprised to find Cami at the counter.

"Hey!" she called at the other blond girl, that perked considerably when she saw Astrid.

"Well, hello there, Hotstuff. How's it going?"

"You're not gonna work at the vet's anymore?" said Astrid, stopping next to the counter but not in front of the register.

"This is temporary," clarified Cami, "everything's closed for Sommerfest and Sven doesn't need the help at the front, so Ruff hooked me up."

Astrid hummed, "so you're not going to whatever's happening later?"

Cami shook her head. "I gotta earn money for a living. Especially now that my mom's gone."

"Oh," said Astrid, frowning. "I'm sorry. I didn't know."

"It's not happened yet." said Cami, shrugging. "but she's been at the hospital for almost a year now."

Astrid patted her in the shoulder but said nothing, which Cami appreciated.

"Listen," started Cami, pushing her wild blond hair back. "Are we cool?"

"Yes. Why?"

Cami looked behind Astrid, but Uncle Finn was still somewhere at the back of the shop.

"Because of what I told you yesterday?"

Astrid frowned, "that you don't like guys?"

Cami grimaced, "it's a bit more complicated than that. I like guys. I just don't fall in love with them."

"Oh. Okay."

"Okay?" Cami raised a skeptical brow.

"I mean, I'm from NYC," started Astrid, a smirk spreading on her face, "if I screamed bloody murder at anything I consider unusual I'd lose my voice in five minutes. Besides, you liking girls-"

"and boys."

"-and boys, I don't see what's wrong with that? Or why I'd have to approve what's none of my business."

"You sound just like Bobby," said Cami, showing off her pearly white teeth. "He's my friend from..."

"Your friend from New York," completed Astrid, then reached to squeeze Cami's arm. "I'm glad you're my friend."

"Me too. Mr. Hofferson!"

Finn rushed at the register, arms heavy and overloaded with chips, bread, the torch fuel and a pack of sorted cookies, apologizing for taking so long.

Astrid helped Cami bag the items and waved at her as they were leaving.

She was happy to see Cami waved her back.

After some small talk on the drive back, Uncle Finn left Astrid mercifully alone with her thoughts when they got home, leaving Astrid to tend to Sigrid.

Flopping on her still unmade bed, she grabbed her phone from the side table, going back to check her gallery.

She started to watch one by one; pictures of the theater crowd, a rehearsal with Fishlegs panicking over something she didn't even remember anymore, Ruffnut pulling on Tuffnut's wig and Snotlout glaring at Cami in the background, who had gone to drop Dogsbreath off.

What was going on between them, Astrid could only guess.

A picture of Sigrid with a tiny white flower in her hair, then a selfie with the two of them. Finn from afar, raising a hand to block the picture, and a blurry one of Hiccup where he'd fallen asleep in the living room and Astrid panicked when the camera made a sound.

She had been intending to delete it for days.

But then she hadn't.

She smiled at the irony of _her_ being a paparazzi, but she wanted to take something of Berk with her.

She realized then, that she didn't want to stop.

She wanted to keep these friendships she had made close to her. It was hard to find genuine people in her line of work; it was only natural that her only friend back in New York were Heather, and, to some extent, Heather's brother.

When she came back to New York, she didn't want to stop talking to the Thorston twins, or Fishlegs, or Cami.

Or Hiccup.

Even if she kept talking to him, would her crush on him fade?

Before she knew it, she was jolting upright, clutching her phone close to her chest.

 _No._

Sighing, Astrid left her phone on the bed, getting up to walk to her window. It faced the back of the house, which meant it faced the back of Hiccup's, in the distance.

Her fingers splayed onto the windowsill.

The truth was: Astrid loved how she felt around him.

She felt… full. It was hard to explain since she'd never felt it before; not even in the early stages with Erik, where she was flattered to get his and other people's attention.

It was like staying home and watching a movie on a rainy day; phone turned off and a mug of hot chocolate in her hands. Like being underwater; that moment when she'd just dived in.

Like swaying, eyes closed and feeling the breeze. The sun in her face and a kiss on her cheek.

Well.

She was in _far_ too deep.

Her memory of the night before was hazy. She remembered little but him, extending his arm in pretend grandeur. His face when she'd said no.

Was she doing the right thing?

What did he feel for her?

Did he feel anything for her besides attraction?

The thought that he mightn't tore a sigh from her.

So lost in her thoughts she was she didn't hear her uncle enter the room.

"That was awfully melancholic."

Astrid jumped around, her heart pumping adrenaline. "Uncle!"

Instead of teasing her, Uncle Finn called her over. "Come on. Sigrid has something to show you." Intrigued, Astrid followed him to the bedroom he shared with her aunt, and Astrid was surprised to see Sigrid sitting in her vanity, combing her blond hair. The hair stick with the blue butterfly Finn had bought earlier was sitting next to Sigrid's makeup and a beaded necklace.

Noticing Astrid through the mirror, Sigrid smiled serenely at her, putting her brush down on the vanity.

She approached Astrid, who had stepped into the bedroom, leaving Finn at the doorframe.

"Your uncle got this for you," said Sigrid, putting the light-colored hair stick on Astrid's hand.

"Oh!" called Astrid, turning the stick around, and then looking at her uncle, "thank you. You didn't have to."

Finn merely shrugged, "I wanted to. Besides, it goes with the dress."

"What dress?"

Sigrid tapped on Astrid's shoulder, holding against herself a dress.

It was gorgeous. It was a tunic-style dress of a rusty red. The fabric was simple, but it was complemented by the apron-like overdress, made of a rich blue and embroidered at the bottom with weedy flowers, green vines growing upwards and tapering out at the hips.

"What…"

"It was mine, when it still fit me," said Sigrid, blushing. "That was around nineteen years ago."

Astrid dared extend a hand towards the dress, speechless.

"I saved it when…" Sigrid's face crumpled, "because I knew I was pregnant."

Astrid's hands recoiled. "Oh. I don't mean… I don't want to… overstep."

"No," said Sigrid, putting the dress on Astrid's retreating hands. "Someone must wear it."

Seeing the somber look in her aunt's eyes, Astrid could do little but thank her quietly.

"Here, I'll do your hair."

The drumming was hammering deep into her blood. Astrid would even dare say it was calling to her as they marched down the streets until they started to meet people on their way to the main square.

They had barely reached the stone-covered esplanade, when a voice whispered into her, bringing goosebumps. It was that of a girl, that Astrid could see on a stage, hitting on a small drum along with the other two drummers' rhythm.

The girl sung in Berkian, Astrid assumed.

Once the singing was finished the drumming continued for another minute as otherworldly, raspy and hooting sounds came from the other musicians.

The song ended with a thundering thud from the drums, as Hiccup's father climbed on the musician stage, taking the spot the singer had been occupying.

"Welcome!" he said, and his voice was so potent Astrid wondered why he'd bother with a microphone. "Welcome, Berk," he gestured to crowd, "and visitors to Midsommarfest!"

The people cheered, and her aunt and uncle smiled, clapping politely.

Lawperson Stoick then went on to climb down, a short girl with brown hair holding the microphone hastily after him.

He gave a speech in English about the meaning of Sommerfest, its ties to Baldr, the Norse God of light and other things Astrid didn't quite catch. She briefly wondered if her mother would be angry that Astrid was participating in this ceremony. After all, Astrid had been raised loosely as a Christian.

Some three men brought about a boat, as big as a canoe, on both ends there were carvings that extended into dragon heads, and on the inside, there was food, flowers and other things that remained out of view no matter how much Astrid tried to subtly move the lady in front of her.

It didn't matter in the end, because the two men carried the boat and placed it so it balanced precariously on top of the huge bonfire at the center of the main square.

Astrid supposed the main square was large enough that it wasn't any danger to the buildings around it.

Right then, Stoick called the winner of the rowing race forward, swelling with pride when Hiccup's cousin, Snotlout, approached the bonfire, and lit it in Baldr's name.

The crowd applauded, and they didn't stop until the bonfire cracked ominously and Stoick called for the musicians to begin, a fast-paced song springing up from their instruments, the drums fast and going faster, as the people extinguished their torches and pulled one another to dance around the bonfire. Others were heading into the main hall to get some food or drink.

Astrid stood on tiptoes, but she couldn't find anyone she knew. Turning back to her aunt and uncle, she let them know she was going to search for her friends and find them again when it was time to go.

Uncle Finn gave her permission to go, and she set off, craning her head to see if she could find anyone.

She waved at Tuffnut, who nodded in greeting as he was showing off the bandages that covered all his right forearm to a group of people, who _ooh'd_ and _aah'd._ Ruffnut was right next to them, looking bored, and gave Astrid a flat stare.

She would've stopped to greet Snotlout, but he and Dogsbreath were hiss-arguing about something and she did _not_ want to get in the middle of that.

Eret waved her over from his spot with his family. They were dressed in normal clothes, which made her feel a little ridiculous, but he explained that his family didn't believe in the same, but they still wanted to enjoy the atmosphere. The sky was growing dark now, and the lights seemed to titter and warm the people in the main square, though the fire in the middle always took precedence.

 _Ah!_ But there was Hiccup, sitting on a planter and fiddling with his camera. The microphone girl from earlier was stomping away from him.

"There you are!" she said, plopping down next to him.

"Astrid!" he said, his cheeks darkening in the shadows of the tree. "I was just about to go looking for you."

"Well, I found you first."

"That you did," he said, grinning. "Are you having a good time?"

Astrid shrugged, "it was a bit boring," she admitted.

"Yeah," acknowledged Hiccup with a grimace.

"It all looks really nice, though."

"It does!" he perked up again and showed her the screen on his camera.

Astrid took the camera from him, scrolling through the pictures. It was, simply put, graceful.

Little moments here and there; Snotlout's determined face before he lit the bonfire up. A more solemn picture where a woman closed her eyes during the speech. The girl that was singing. A group of children running, just as one of them had tripped.

"Wow," she whispered. "Hiccup, these are… they're really good."

Hiccup took the praise in, "thanks. Mum taught me."

"Oh! Your mom is a photographer?"

Hiccup grimaced, "that's why she's harder to impress. _And_ she's one of the judges."

She frowned, "judges?"

"Uh-huh. It's an international contest for this photography magazine."

"Sweet. What's the prize?"

He shrugged, "cash money. But they'd print my picture."

"Not bad," nodded Astrid, "and it has to be a picture of what?"

"National Identity," he said, standing up, his gaze fixated behind her as he gently took the camera from her hands. "Astrid, could you please just… stand here?" he pointed to a spot in front of him.

Astrid raised an eyebrow but complied nonetheless.

"Perfect. Can you just… look to your right? Not that much. What were you thinking about earlier?" he rambled on as he alternated between looking at her through the lens and adjusting the settings in his camera. "Nevermind, just… stay… there."

There was a faint click before he straightened, clicking away to bring the picture back. Astrid couldn't resist the temptation and got closer to him.

The picture was beautiful. She was half-turning away, but her eyes were zeroing in on the camera.

Next to her, Hiccup stammered, "I'm sorry, it's just… the way you look tonight."

"What? Old-fashioned?"

"-Beautiful," Hiccup word-vomited, and instantly blushed.

Astrid smiled at him, "well, the picture better win first place!"

"I'm sure it will," he said, grinning.

They stayed silent, watching the party going on around them, the musicians playing their jaunty tones.

Hiccup cleared his throat. "I'm putting this away in the jeep," he said, raising his camera's case. "Do you want to come with?"

Her heart skipped a beat, "okay," she said, airily.

They walked away from the party, occupied in small talk. Although things like where Gobber liked to purchase his moustache grooming products were not really registering.

As she watched him put away his camera and lock his car, she was taken by the curve of his spine as he leaned forward, and the way the shadows settled in what she could see of his neck.

 _Why did Hiccup like her? Was it just that he found her attractive?_

He thought she looked beautiful. She was aware of that. But was there anything at all he could see beyond that?

Anything worth risking it all for?

 _Oh, crap_ , he had turned around and said something.

"What?" she blurted out.

He reddened, "when we go back, would you like to dance with me?"

She blinked, "oh."

They started to walk back. The sounds of the music, that had almost faded were becoming louder and louder.

"I can teach you if you're embarrassed," he added, earning himself a glare from Astrid.

"I'm not embarrassed."

"Okay. That's okay," said Hiccup, "we can just have dinner, find the others."

But he was smiling tightly, not looking at her.

Astrid stopped, shocking him into stopping as well.

"What… what is it, did you forget something?"

She shook her head, crossing her arms. "Why?"

He frowned, "what, why?"

"Why do you want to dance with me?"

"I…" he stared at her strangely, before saying, "I have fun with you. I'm…"

"Okay," she interrupted, already feeling breathless.

"Okay?"

"I'm saying teach me."

"Right here?" Hiccup looked around; although the street was closed to traffic and was overall deserted they were still in the middle of it.

Astrid nodded. "I don't want to end up online somewhere, but we can still hear the music."

Swallowing, he realized she was right. The sound was clear and loud, almost as much as the crowd's laughter and chatter. And this tone was familiar…

"Oh! I know this one! My dad had me learn it."

She stood strong, her hands on her hips, and her chin was defiant and fierce, like her smile.

"Alright. Okay, look, here it comes. You raise your hand like this," he said, starting to explain.

She followed his lead. Forearm against forearm, like blocking a hit, as they turned slowly with the music. Hiccup called for them to change sides.

"The other hand?"

"Yes. And we do the same again."

The fiddles changed their melody, and he grabbed her in a waltz stance, blushing, and smiling to his ears.

The warmth of his body against hers felt so nice.

They almost pranced to the right, before they had to do it in the opposite direction, and then again.

He stepped away from her, and he clapped and raised both hands, like a double high five, with her following suit.

"And all over again."

She laughed as they turned, "really? The whole song?"

"Yeah, can't you see it's starting to go faster?"

But it was. They increased their pace along with the song, and soon they were going so fast, Astrid stopped caring about getting it right.

She stopped caring about anything but the way he smiled, laughing as she threw her head back, knowing he was holding her safe against him.

Astrid didn't realize how tiring the dance was until the final notes rung and she stumbled against Hiccup, and she could feel his hiss.

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing, nothing," he said, but his voice was shallow.

She stepped back to see the damage and saw him standing unsteadily.

"I stepped on you!" she frowned when she saw he was trying to keep the weight on his left side, instead of his right like usual.

"No, no, it's fine," he said, "it's just, you know your shoe? It has that metal thing at the front?"

Astrid pulled up her dress and pouted at the metallic tip shoes she'd worn. They were the only of the kind she'd brought, and her aunt had bigger feet than she, so she'd had to wear them.

"Come on, then," she said, approaching him. "I'll be your crutch."

He gave her a wry smile, as she helped him until he could lean in the pillar of an awning. "You know, usually I need it for the other side."

She barked a short laugh. "Idiot," she said fondly, helping him get settled and regretting letting him go.

"I'll be fine in a second," he said, "it's just, it really dug in my toes, not even the leather of this boot could stop it."

She said nothing, feeling too guilty about hurting him.

"You know what? You hit it so hard…" he started with a grave voice, catching her attention. "They might have to amputate."

Astrid snorted, swatting his chest, and leaving her hand on it.

"Violence!"

"You dork!" she said, now openly laughing. She opened her eyes, seeing that he was staring at her intently. "I'm sorry. I didn't want to hurt you," said Astrid.

She wasn't sure what she was apologizing for. Not dancing with him before, or dancing with him today, or accidentally hurting his good foot. But the way she felt right now, she couldn't bring herself to regret that.

She was hyperaware of the feeling of his tunic beneath her fingers. The way he bit his lower lip for a moment as he swallowed, his adam's apple bobbing up and down.

"Then don't hurt me," he whispered, and it was all it took to break whatever had held her back before then.


	15. The Woods

**Chapter 15 - The Woods** by **Hollow Coves**

 _The cold night takes us to a place to escape the chill_  
 _Top top, somewhere in the woods, on the hill_  
 _Wake up, feeling the cold in between our toes_  
 _Is there a way back? Nobody knows._

* * *

The only bad part of the party was when they got home and Astrid had to peel off that beautiful dress, and instead of putting it in her hamper, she had to hang it up and ask Sigrid what to do with it, since it didn't belong to her.

Because she didn't really belong in Berk.

As she got into bed in her cozy pyjamas, she found that even if she really didn't belong to Berk, (because that was the truth, no matter how she wanted to twist it; she'd been born in New York, raised and made into who she was) she couldn't regret anything of what had happened that day.

The duffel bag she'd packed the day before caught her eye in her last visual sweep across the room.

She'd see him again tomorrow.

Astrid fell asleep softly, with the gentleness of a rocking hammock, fingertips grazing her tingling lips.

The next morning, she woke up in a great mood. It was so infectious, even Sigrid, who had been brooding lately, couldn't help but give a slight smile at the sight of Astrid humming as she got her things ready.

Her borrowed duffel bag was waiting by the door, along with a hamper full of food that Sigrid had insisted on.

Astrid was grateful for the food, and it was great that Sigrid had managed to recover some of her usual activity, since she had been so gloomy since they'd visited the gravelskammer.

Since then, Sigrid had been staying home, neither going to her job at the vet's nor visiting her horse. Actually, Hiccup only had to mention the ranch, or horses, or riding, and Sigrid would go pale and change the subject.

Hiccup never pushed, so neither did Finn, and neither did Astrid.

Even now, her aunt had already pushed her limits, and was sitting on the couch, staring at the fireplace in silence. The sight of it made her stop at the door frame.

'Could she really leave her aunt like this and just go and have fun?'

The knock on the door made her jump. Letting out a shaky breath, she crossed the hallway in less than a minute.

Swinging the door open, she had to stagger back, surprised that Hiccup was so close to the door.

"Hey," he said, with his lopsided smile, and his greeting was accompanied by Toothless' excited barking from the backseat.

"Hey." Feeling her face warm, Astrid greeted him back, shuffling for an awkward moment before she reached for him, holding her breath as she pressed her lips on his cheek.

His smile became even goofier, the blush contrasting with the freckles on his cheeks.

"Hiccup," called Sigrid from the living room.

Astrid stepped aside to let him him, trying to hide how much the kiss affected her, too.

They did a little dance, laughing until Hiccup had enough space to enter Sigrid's house.

He gave her a long look that she felt inside her, before he entered the living room.

She smiled again, feeling a little breathless, before joining him.

When she entered, he was standing by Sigrid, holding her plump hand and listening to her whispering to him in Berkian.

The grimace on his face was a stark contrast from the smile he gave her earlier.

He nodded at whatever Sigrid requested of him, and the scene made Astrid stop again at the door frame.

Finishing whatever sentence she'd been saying to Hiccup, Sigrid noticed Astrid by the door and waved her over.

Astrid obeyed, stopping next to Hiccup, but leaning down to hug Sigrid.

Her aunt patted her back. "You two have fun, alright?" she whispered in Astrid's ear.

Astrid squeezed her aunt one more time, before stepping back.

"We will," she reassured her, sharing a concerned look with Hiccup when she straightened.

Hiccup braked and shut off the engine at the edge of the woods, far up the Isle.

"Is this where I get murdered?" teased Astrid.

He grinned at her, hand still on the steering wheel.

"Let's be honest, this is where you'd tell me you were actually a vampire before sucking my blood."

She laughed, "don't say it so confidently."

When she opened her eyes, he was staring at her, and he was radiant.

"What?"

But Hiccup shook his head, his smile still wide "nothing. It's just… nothing."

She shared his smile, and was about to lean forward, but a knock on Hiccup's window distracted them both, and to their right they could see Fishlegs, waving excitedly at them.

"Look who's here!" he said, gesturing to the floor beside him as they both climbed down from Hiccup's jeep.

Toothless, unable to wait one second longer to be let out jumped out from Hiccup's seat, and started running around, chasing and smelling and overall overwhelming the chubbiest bulldog Astrid had ever seen in her life.

"Oh, no! Meatlug!" gasped Fishlegs, running to pick up the bulldog with a grunt. "Oh my baby, are you alright?"

Hiccup chuckled, already opening the trunk of the jeep and passing some stuff to Astrid.

"He's just whining, like a whiny little baby," came Ruffnut's derisive drawl.

"Hey H. Hey A." it was Tuffnut, wearing sunglasses and generally not caring. "What've we got here, let's see…" he said picking the grill from the back of the jeep and walking off into the woods.

Ruffnut stretched her arms, with a bored look in her eyes, "load them up, pal."

Hiccup put the coal on her arms, "hey Ruff," he said, "no Barf and Belch this time?"

Ruffnut scrunched up her nose, "we had to set him free, because mum was threatening to stuff them to send to the museum," she said, and walked off into the woods.

Hiccup turned to Astrid, "I don't know if you knew but, Barf and Belch is their two-headed snake."

She snorted. "Oh, i know about it. What I don't know is how it's survived this long."

A bit far away from them, by the twins' van, Fishlegs was using his height against Toothless' inquisitive jumps, holding a terrified Meatlug in his arms.

"Hiccup!" he called, his voice strained and pitchy, "anything you can do to help?"

"Gods," he groaned, rushing to hold Toothless away.

Meanwhile, Astrid slung the strap of her duffel bag across her shoulder, and started organizing the things for better carrying.

Soon enough, both dogs were leashed and tied away from each other, and Hiccup and Fishlegs went to help her with the things.

Fishlegs took some duvets from the back of the jeep and some others from the twins' van, and went off into the forest as she and Hiccup tried to categorize the van's contents.

The twins and Fishlegs returned from the woods and went back in, taking more things with them.

Hiccup apologized, since he had to wait and show the way to Eret and Astrid, who had been invited there for the first time.

Snotlout and Eret arrived together on motorcycles, a girl on the back of Snotlout's that Astrid recognized as the girl that had danced with Hiccup and then sung at the festival, and who stuck instantly to Hiccup's stupid, oblivious side.

Astrid took every opportunity available to glare at her long brown hair and cutesy giggles, and felt a great deal of sick satisfaction when Toothless growled at her for surprising him.

Snotlout didn't seem to care his date was trying to charm Hiccup, and he and Eret were both in a great mood, lunging things around, joking, teasing, and showing off their strength until Cami and Dogsbreath arrived in an ATV.

Of the seven people present where they had parked all their vehicles, Hiccup was the only one that wasn't feeling at least annoyed.

However, with all seven people present, they had more than enough manpower to carry the rest of the things, and they started to walk into the forest.

Hiccup stayed back, not noticing Alina's annoyed stare as the rest of the group called her.

"We're gonna go between those," he nodded at two huge rocks, "and we're going to find stairs, Please watch your step there, because it is a bit narrow."

"Alright," she said, touched that he wanted to personally warn her.

He was right. It really was narrow, and creaky.

And Astrid couldn't look away from her feet, too concerned with not dying to see where she was heading, but when she did, she just had to stop, because…

It was beautiful.

The place they had descended into had high, stone walls. Up there, she could see the forest continuing. Turning around, she could see the stones that had blocked this all from view.

It was something like a cove.

There was a lake, and was that a waterfall? But on dry land there was something like a cabin, but it was something like she had never seen before.

The house was big, and it had a green roof, and from the entrance ran a dock all the way until the middle of the lake.

"Hiccup!" called Tuffnut from the door, "come open up, yeah?"

The rest of the group was already settling things here and there, and Astrid could hear their conversations as she and Hiccup approached.

Ruffnut supervised, chatting with Cami as Fishlegs and Dogsbreath set up the grill, "a little help, ladies?" he begged.

"I think you're fine," said Ruffnut, dismissing him.

Snotlout was flirting with Alina as they dragged a trash bag full of chopped up logs, making sure they were in full view of Dogsbreath and Cami, though Alina looked bored.

Eret looked helpless.

The grill collapsed, one of the legs not screwed on properly. Dogsbreath turned on Fishlegs, scolding him while Ruffnut and Cami laughed.

Alina straightened when she saw Hiccup, destabilizing Snotlout and sending the logs rolling and him to the floor.

Hiccup breathed in, then out, "okay guys. Snot, Eret, please get the grill." Eret did so immediately, and Snotlout did after some light protesting. "Alina, Fishlegs, Dogsbreath, you guys put everything that goes inside the house, inside the house," he said, throwing the key at Fishlegs, who scrambled to catch it. "Cami, could you go up and get the dogs?"

Cami nodded and rushed back up the stairs. "Ruff, Tuff, could you…" he looked around for a moment. "Could you please set-up the bonfire space for later? Also please don't… set anything on fire?"

"No promises," said Ruffnut.

"You know we do like some excitement," said Tuffnut.

Suddenly, it was a whirl of motion, and Hiccup was turning towards Astrid.

He laughed shakily, "Astrid?" he said, eyeing what she had in her arms.

"You got it!"

He sighed in relief.

They spent most of the day setting up, and preparing lunch, from which she was banned due to Sigrid's warning.

Astrid grumbled that it's not like she could get some Uber to bring them food this high up the mountain.

In fact, if there was anything like Uber in the whole island Astrid would throw herself from the highest point into the water.

She found that she wasn't enjoying the trip for the reasons she had expected and if she had to be honest, this Alina girl was kind of a thorn on her side.

The girl was around Hiccup at all times, always switching to conversations Astrid knew nothing about, and then Hiccup would have to explain.

It always ended up making her feel left out.

And unfortunately it had lasted until after the bonfire, when everyone had taken their space in the floor of the house.

She was tossing and turning, and soon enough she was out, grabbing her coat from the table by the huge doors, walking down the dock, and laying down, grimacing at the cold wood.

Outside, the stars glittered at their own amazing pace.

It was so different from the concert of lights back at home.

In here, the sky felt immense and infinite. Like at any moment the moon might come down and dip into the water.

She was so in awe, she didn't notice Hiccup making the boards of the dock creak.

"Couldn't sleep?" he was standing by one of the dock's pillars.

"Hey," she answered with a smile, but didn't bother getting up.

He hesitated. "Can we talk?"

"Okay," she scooted, sitting up with her feet hanging from the dock, so he could sit next to her, which he did after a grunt for his prosthetic.

"Okay," he said, and then said nothing.

"Hiccup? Talk?"

"Right." He scratched the side of his neck. "Look, i don't know…" he started gesturing wildly, "ugh, how can I say this? Yesterday… Hold on, let me get my mind straight."

Astrid swung her feet in circles, "you want to know why I kissed you. Yesterday."

"I thought I'd kissed you," he said dumbly.

She shrugged, her face warming as she raised her feet up the dock, sitting butterfly-style.

"But, uh… yes," confirmed Hiccup. "Why?"

Her gaze was stuck on the moon's reflection on the water. "Why would anyone kiss another person?"

"Boredom?"

Astrid had to laugh. "You're so stubborn."

"You're no better," he said, flushing pink.

She turned to him, "did it ever cross your mind that i might like you?"

His adam's apple bobbed up and down as he swallowed. "Not particularly, no. Why would you?"

"I like your smile," she said, reaching up to touch the corner of his lips, raising only one. "When it goes like this, and your eyes light up. Yeah, exactly like that." Her hand slid down his arm. "And also you're… good. And kind. Smart. And cheeky. How... how about you?"

"You… you must know."

She frowned, one eyebrow shooting up.

Clearing his throat, he found himself grounded in her blue eyes. "You are Astrid. You… know exactly who you are," he said and Astrid scooted closer, rapturous with attention. "You know what you want and you're not afraid to get it. You're…" He paused.

She was so close to him, her lips hovering only far enough away that he could feel her breath on his face.

There was something magnetic about the raw, eager power hiding in her blue eyes. They were ordering him to dare more. Do more.

They stared at him hungrily. He swallowed. He was hungry, too.

His gaze fell on her pink, open lips.

They were daring him too.

He breathed in and out shakily.

And then Astrid leaned forward to press her lips against his, closing her eyes, unable to wait any more.

Instantly, he was lost in the darkness and the feel of her body near him, and her kiss.

Her right hand held her weight, but the other was free to slide up his chest, until her fingertips were grazing his collarbone, and his arm had to shoot out around her waist to hold her closer.

And then she tilted her head just right.

Were they still sitting up? Her other hand was running through his hair.

They came apart for air, and he leaned his forehead against hers.

Astrid reached up to cradle his jaw, a soft, gentle smile on her face as he chuckled.

She opened her eyes to him, so, so close, green eyes dark with something and mirth; a new him.

"What?"

His arm around her was keeping her warm. "I just… I told Cami the other day that I was… I was half-in-love with you already."

"And now?"

He kissed her under the starry night sky, and all other unrelated thought vanished.

Astrid was up early in the morning, before anyone else, and she leaned on the door, eyes on the site of where her world had changed the night before.

They'd kissed, and talked, and kissed a lot more on the end of the dock.

She felt like since she'd kissed Hiccup after their dance at the festival, things had just turned a different color.

A voice was niggling in the back of her mind, sounding suspiciously like Heather, telling her things like: "You do know you're leaving eventually, right?"

But she didn't want to listen to it.

Surely, when the time came to deal with it they'd… deal with it, right?

Things would just work out.

Besides, right now, she was more concerned with the voices that came from the side of the house.

"-done living like this." Was that… Snotlout?

"I already told you, my parents are on me all the time, so this is how it's gotta be." Dogsbreath?

"Oh yeah? You know what? Whatever. I'm done with that. I'm done with you."

There was the scraping of boots over the dirt ground, and Astrid had to scramble inside and into her bed and pretend to be asleep.

What on earth had just happened?


	16. Sucker Punch

**Chapter 16 - Sucker Punch** by **Sigrid**

 _It hit me like a sucker punch_

 _Just one look and I'm out of touch_

 _I'm freaking out 'cause I'm scared this might end bad_

 _But I still come back for that_

* * *

After he kissed her, it felt like he'd woken into a different, beautiful fantasy, where good things happened to him.

Where only good things could happen to him.

Looking up, the stars shimmered and tugged at him, begging them to just lay down and admire them, so they did, their backs stretching flat on the wood.

It wasn't fitting, the way they just laid side by side, so Astrid turned, slugging one arm over his torso, and he hummed at the warmth it brought.

They'd been outside for more than an hour now, after everyone had gone to sleep. They talked between kisses about the stars. About the lights in New York.

His brain was muddled. Dazed, and turned inside out and over, bathed in warmth and fairy lights, and the buzz her lips left behind.

Though they did talk, it wasn't long before they were kissing again.

The sound of his voice brought her closer, her head snuggling on his chest, and she exhaled shakily.

"I don't know what's happening," she said, so low he almost wondered if she only meant it for herself.

His brows upturned, as he raised his head. "Do you want me to move?"

Astrid's fingertips dug into his sweatshirt. "No."

He tried, and failed, to let out an indifferent 'oh'.

"I mean," started Astrid, and she rose, keeping her hand over his chest steady. "I don't know what we're doing."

Her meaning found him just before he stated the obvious answer. "Oh," he said, frowning again.

What if she was regretting the whole thing?

"Oh, gods," he said, grimacing in anticipation.

"I'm just thinking, you know?" she said, laying back down on his chest. "What is going on? I…" a soft flush spread on her face, "I really like you, so I really need to know."

If his oxytocin and the tiny bit of adrenaline running in his veins could ravage him anymore than they were now, he would have exploded.

"Astrid, what are you saying?"

She huffed, turning on her side and leaning on her elbows so she hovered over him. "I'm saying we need to _think_ about this."

The moonlight and the distant lamp were enough light for his eyes to get used to the relative darkness and be able to take in the details of her freckles, and the little hairs that had escaped her braid.

And even if he couldn't see her; even if he'd been blinded by the darkness, there was still the comforting feel of her body leaning only slightly on his.

He'd never felt this comforted after kissing a girl, and although the giddiness was still there, he could already tell that _this_ was different.

It felt like coming into the warmth from a winter storm, the heath gradually seeping through his bones and kissing him goodnight.

 _And she was lovely._

 _Even more so when she frowned._

 _No. Every time she did anything, really._

"What are you looking at?" she said, "something on my face?"

"I was just… I was just looking at your freckles."

She raised an eyebrow _. See? Beautiful._ "You were?"

He lifted a hand, running his thumb gently over her lips and traveling up the skin of her cheek, feeling her shiver. "Yup, and I was thinking…"

"Uh-huh?" she said, her lips now close enough that he could feel them breathe.

And he forgot what he wanted to say. There were more urgent things in his agenda.

"Can we talk about it later?"

She didn't say anything, but she thoroughly showed she agreed with the idea.

Everyone was already up when he woke up, the animated sounds of the rest of the group coming from the lake, and Hiccup was glad that they had gone before him, so he wouldn't have to feel pressured into joining them.

In the distance, Alina was on Snotlout's shoulders, shrieking as Tuffnut, who was on Ruffnut's shoulders, and Cami, who was on Eret's, tried to topple her into the lake's water.

By the little waterfall, Fishlegs was sitting on the sand, reading a book.

Dogsbreath and Astrid he couldn't find anywhere.

He squashed the traitorous thought that sprouted in his mind like a mosquito, and walked out of the longhouse and around, where they had set up the grill, and he had to fight not to jump when sweater-clad arms gripped his sides.

She laughed at his horrified face, backing away. "Well look who it is!" said Astrid, legs covered in jeans instead of wearing a swimsuit, and eyeing him up and down. "Good morning! Sleep well?"

He straightened his t-shirt, "I did, thanks. You?"

"Yeah." She paused, waiting for him to say something else, but he didn't.

He also hadn't kissed her hello.

That was some kind of bravery he didn't possess in daylight.

"There's some breakfast leftover on the grill, I was just waiting for a patty for my second burger, too," she smiled at him, pulling him over to the grill and the makeshift logs.

Astrid hadn't kissed him yet either and he had to wonder if the night before had been a dream, after all.

If it had been just a product of his (lately) overactive imagination.

They prepared their meals, and small-talked through it.

 _("Dogsbreath left?"_

" _I don't know why. Snotlout and he had an… argument."_

" _Huh.")_

After breakfast, they walked down the dock to see the chicken fight still going on the lake.

As they were sitting down, Eret called to them, straining with Cami's weight on his shoulders.

"Hiccup! Are you joining us?" he struggled to say, while Ruffnut tried to claw at Cami, and Cami called out ( _time-out, time-out! I'm all for dirty fighting but this is ridiculous-RUFF!_ ), and promptly careened forward, taking Eret and Ruff underwater with her.

Astrid cackled, Hiccup chuckled, and Snotlout called out "LOSERS!" to a sputtering Eret as Alina hooted triumphantly and Tuffnut complained about getting kicked in the head when Ruffnut went down.

Both girls came up coughing, and Cami batted water on Ruffnut's face, trying to decide if laughing or breathing was more important.

"Hiccup!" called Alina, taking up Eret's mission. "Aren't you swimming?"

"No, no!" said Snotlout, quite happy to have Alina's legs around his neck, and not risking losing them. "He's fine there, right cuz'?"

To Alina's disappointment, Hiccup confirmed it.

"But maybe Astrid will join you guys?" he offered, thinking Astrid was just being kind and trying to keep him company.

She surprised him, then, when she said " _hell_ no."

"What? Why?"

"Hiccup!" she seethed, "that water is cold as fuck!"

"Oh?" he frowned, reaching down and grazing the water with his fingertips. "but it's not? it's so nice!"

He jumped when the water hit his face, and he only had time to turn and see Astrid, an impish, satisfied smile on her face, before he slipped and down he splashed into the lake.

Astrid laughed, but was distracted by Alina's shriek as Snotlout threw her back and cursed, starting to waddle in Astrid's direction.

Cami gave long strokes with her arms.

Eret cursed too, "Astrid! He can't swim! _He can't swim!"_

" _Fuck!"_ and she went into the water, even before Cami reached them, and she kicked down and down and instantly fingers grasped her, and they went _up_ ; up with confusing, screaming lungs, and they burst out into freedom, aided by Cami's strong grip.

He was gasping, and his green eyes were wide and terrified, one arm around her, and another grasping for the dock.

Astrid climbed first, then helped Hiccup onto the dock with Snotlout's help as Cami watched anxiously.

" _Faen_ ," Hiccup breathed, and then started laughing. "Shit."

"Fuck, Hiccup!" scolded Cami, one hand over her heart.

Astrid glared at Snotlout when he started laughing weakly along with Hiccup.

"Thanks for the help, idiots!" she growled at Ruffnut and Tuffnut, who had chosen to hang back, and Eret and Alina got a puppy-dog look, that Astrid wasn't in the presence of mind to feel sorry for.

"What?" called Tuffnut, "you guys did fine on your own!"

"Yeah, we didn't want to intrude!"

She stood up, shivering, _fuck the water was cold!_ "let's-let's go inside. Clothes. Warm."

"M-my leg," stuttered Hiccup, still loopy from almost drowning.

She walked him back as he avoided using his leg under the watchful eyes of their friends.

They struggled getting past the door mainly because she wasn't used to lugging anybody around, but when she managed to help him until he was sitting on a crudely carved stool, she rushed, finding a towel someone had left strewn about and put it around his shoulders, rubbing his hands to warm them.

"Astrid?"

"Wh-what?"

"You're shivering."

She stopped, hands over his. She opened her mouth to say something, but no sounds came out.

"I'm alright, I'm used to this cold," he placed his hands over her still ones, "you're really cold, though."

Astrid puffed, and leaned down to press her forehead to his.

They broke apart, and she looked more relaxed, even if the twitchy frown hadn't left her face.

"Alright. I'll… I'll get changed."

When she came back, she startled Hiccup, who had changed and was wearing shorts, and hurriedly threw a blanket over his legs, so she wouldn't see his stump.

Astrid frowned, sitting next to him in one of the side wide benches. "I've already seen it, you know?"

The false cheer left him. "Not like this, you haven't."

"And you don't want to show me?"

Hiccup shrugged, and looked at her hopeful, innocent face.

Wincing, he slid the blanket off his legs, where one intact right limb rested on the floor, and the left one tapered off below the knee.

She swallowed.

He waited with baited breath. She was so perfect, so beautiful from head to toe.

 _What would she say about…?_

He was scared to even complete the question.

Instead of following all the terrible scenarios he had planned in his head, she placed a hand on his left knee, and her blue gaze raised to meet his, and she leaned towards him, eyes closing and clearly giving him the choice.

He took a deep breath, and he closed his eyes.

He was close.

Getting so close.

Getting so close to kissing her until Fishlegs slammed the door of the longhouse open.

"Hiccup! Are you okay?"

Hiccup had to fight down a deeply annoyed sigh.

He'd never been more annoyed someone worried about him. "Hey, Fish. I'm fine. _We're_ fine," he said, gesturing at Astrid.

Who was glaring at Fishlegs like he'd just trash-talked everything she held dear.

"Oh," said Fishlegs, frowning. "Oh! _Oh._ Oh…"

"Yep."

"Well, glad to see you're fine! I'm just… leaving now!" he said, inching towards the door and disappearing behind it. "Leaving, now!" he said, poking his head in.

"Fish!"

"Sorry!"

Hiccup sighed, then turned his eager face towards Astrid, who just laughed.

"Well, that's the mood broken."

"I suppose it is, isn't it?"

Her lips on his cheek were sweet compensation for their ruined kiss.

Astrid watched him strap his leg back on, having had to dry his prosthesis down and change the sock, and they both walked out, dragging stools and staying by the edge of the lake instead, hooting and calling out at their preferred contender for the chicken fights still going on, and taking to walking around the lake when the rest were inside waiting their turns and drying, showering, and changing.

"You know my ex-boyfriend?"

He tripped on a pebble but stabilized on time. "Uh… Big man? Perfect face?"

"I punched that face."

"You did?"

"I did."

"Why?"

She kicked a rock with her boot, then winced when it was heavier than expected. "He… uh… was cheating on me with a friend. And some other girls."

"Still," he ventured, "isn't punching him a little…"

"Violent?" she offered, feeling generous and in too much of a good mood. "Intense? Crazy?"

"Non-diplomatic," he said, diplomatically.

Astrid shrugged, stuffing her thumbs in her jeans' pockets, considering it all. "I guess?" she said after a while of standing near the waterfall on the opposite side from the longhouse. "I did break his nose?" she volunteered. "But anyway, I texted him sorry, and he's been texting me."

He straightened at this, a little alarmed, "he has?"

"Yeah. He proposed an arrangement, sort of."

"An arrangement," he said, his heart betraying him, "I see, an arrangement."

She slapped a hand at his forehead, standing in front of him, a frown in her pretty face. "Hiccup. Babe? Focus?"

A pink flush spread on his face at the magic word. "Right."

"So anyway, it works like this; I tell the media he never did cheat on me, and he gets me a part in a movie. Or series. I forget which is the one he's offering. But the point is that it's an awesome opportunity, so I'm doing it."

Something didn't feel right for Hiccup, for some reason, and was about to say so, until Alina burst in their bubble by calling his name and running in their direction.

He reached to squeeze her hand once, quickly, before letting go.

 _Why_ did he let go?

It seemed odd. Like they were trying to hide.

"Hullo, peeps! We're setting up the bonfire for dinner! Want to help?"

"Sure!" Astrid perked up and looping an arm around one of Hiccup's elbows, throwing a triumphant look at Alina, and even felt generous enough to allow her to walk beside them.

Alina frowned, moving her long, brown plait to her back. "Hiccup, how is Sigrid?"

Hiccup opened his mouth to answer, but Astrid beat him to it. "She's alright. Better."

"Oh, that's good!" Alina tried again: "I was thinking I'd really like horse riding lessons. What do you say, Hiccup?"

"Oh, no can do," said Astrid, so convincingly apologetic, Hiccup almost agreed with her.

 _Almost._ "What?" he said. "Why?"

Astrid pouted, but her blue eyes were telling him to just go along with it. "Babe. Don't you remember? You were going to teach me?"

"Oh, yeah. Yes. Of course. How could I have forgotten? Yes. So I'll be busy-uhm. Astrid, _when_ will I be busy?"

"Every day?" hinted Astrid.

"Every day. Sure. Because you're _so eager_ to learn."

"Oh, I see," interrupted Alina through clenched teeth, and Astrid felt satisfied there were many things she could _see_. "I'll go ahead and help the others!"

Hiccup could only stare at Alina jog back to the rest of the group. When he turned to Astrid, he thought back to his initial impression of her: that of a panther. She might be cleaning her claws now, relishing with pride for a well-earned meal.

"Okay," he chuckled, "I don't know what happened, and I don't think I ought to know."

Astrid nodded, "good," still staring intently at the shape of Alina like a cat would stalk prey.

"And by the way? Those riding lessons? You're definitely getting them."

"What?"

"Well, you _did_ tell Alina you'd take them. I don't think you want her to find out I'm available after all."

She looked at him with a look that didn't promise anything good. "Fine."

"But I'll have to ask Eret if he can assist me."

"Eret? Why? Don't get me wrong, I like him, but…"

Hiccup laughed, "Astrid, you already distract me enough as is, imagine being eye-level to your legs all the time?"

She smirked, slapping his arm, and he acted as if his arm had broken off, and was dropping to the floor and exploding.

"How many more limbs, Astrid?" he said solemnly.

Astrid threw her head back in a loud 'HA!'.

Once they reached the group, Eret already had his guitar out, strumming some simple chords, Alina humming along, and everyone else was chatting: Cami sat with Fishlegs and was chatting to him about things going on at the vet, and Snotlout chatted to Tuffnut and Ruffnut.

Hiccup paused some meters away from the circle, but Astrid didn't stop. Instead, she took his hand and pulled him to the remaining free log.

They ate in silence for a while, until Alina started singing Bjorn the Scot, and Hiccup had to translate, his whispering in her ear driving her crazy.

He was in the middle of _'is that your family misses its runt-even if at tipping yaks good he is not.'_ when Astrid turned her face when he went closer, and boom.

Crashing waves.  
Fireworks in the night sky.

Their friends hooting and hollering in the background, Bjorn the Scot forgotten.

Breaking away from her to see her face, illuminated by her blush and the bonfire, and her brilliant, wide smile.

It felt like he'd woken into a different, beautiful fantasy, where only good things could happen to him.


	17. Come What May

**Chapter 17 - Come What May** by **The Tide Rose**

 _When you don't have the words to say_

 _I'll be right here, come what may._

* * *

Cami had been missing from the vet's office for the last four days. She didn't know where she lived, and she didn't have her number, so Astrid couldn't ask her any of the questions she wanted to ask her.

She knew she was still working at the vet's, but she was gone in the mornings, which was when Astrid had her shift.

If someone had told her fans a month ago that she'd disappear from public life and move to a relatively unknown country where she'd spend her days working in a vet shop and cleaning up, feeding and occasionally bathing dogs, like she was at the moment, they would have put that person in a facility and declared them to be on the level of irrationality of a flat-earther.

But well, here the _Great_ Astrid Hofferson was, drying off the tiny grayish-white dog with a towel.

She still had no name, because she hadn't been adopted yet despite other, smaller, or prettier having been taken by others.

There hadn't been any new dogs brought it either by Gobber, who stopped once in a while to talk Sven's ear off, and the brave little dog was left alone by the others.

Astrid stuck her fingers in the cage and the dog licked them, and she already felt sad to leave her behind, but there was no time; Hiccup would be coming to pick her up anytime soon and there was still something she had to do before he did.

She brought out her phone in selfie mode, fixing up her hair and found a neutral, nondescript wall with good lighting and started recording on her Instagram story.

"Hi, Fanstrids, I know it's been a while… I've been spending some time away, no access to the internet for a while so I could focus on myself… and I just want to tell you Erik never cheated on me…" she let go of the little wheel symbol that meant she was recording, and the video started playing back as she thought about the next part of her story.

 _Was it worth it? Lying to her fans? And what if someone outed her little lie?_

Technically they hadn't broken up when he'd presumably started sleeping with Mallory, and it wasn't like she'd actually cared, besides the wound to her ego.

Astrid shook her head, deleting the video and starting an Instagram live, repeating her greeting, and already her fans were pouring in and asking her questions.

 _'Where are you?'_

 _'Can you say Hi Macy?'_

 _'we support u babe'_

 _'hi from Colombia'_

 _'Astrid la France vous manque'_

 _'love from Spain'_

 _'que bonita'_

 _'are you on vacation?'_

 _'come to Brazil'_

 _'_ _넘 예뻐 ㅋㅋ 영어_ _하_ _는 사람만 있네 ㅋ_ _ㅋ_ _'_

 _'please do a meet and greet?'_

 _'lol, you okay there?'_

 _'new post on my insta'_

She blinked, overwhelmed by how fast messages were pouring in, and it struck her that she was _supposed_ to be used to this.

Realizing the live was still going on, she cleared her throat and looked straight, so it looked like she was looking at people directly. "Sorry, I was reading your messages. _Hi Macy_. I'm not in New York right now; like I said, I'm somewhere else, taking my time… Got lots of exciting projects coming up. _Hi Rose, Stephen_. I heard some rumors and I thought it'd be good, you know, clear the air, I know a lot of you saw that me and Erik aren't dating anymore," she paused, "and I just want to tell you he never cheated on me. I've heard some crazy stories, but I just want to say that things… _love for Belgium. Hi Poland._ We ended things mutually and we're just friends now. Sorry for those who want drama, but there's _none_ to tell." she laughed, then cringed at how fake it sounded.

"Astrid?"

 _Fuck._ It was Hiccup, standing by the doorframe of the hallway. She crushed the phone against her chest and put a finger on her lips, watching Hiccup's eyes widen comically.

"Anyway, hi Roberto," she continued to the camera, "I'll be back in New York soon, so I'll catch up with you all soon. Love you, bye." She winked and blew a kiss to the camera before finishing the live stream.

Once she made sure it was off, she stashed it away in her hoodie's pocket, forcing her frown away with a deep breath before walking up to him, jumping on Hiccup, throwing her arms around his neck and her legs around his hips, making him stagger back a couple of steps as his own arms flew around her.

For a moment, as their lips met, she didn't care if they were still standing, or on the ground, or floating, or underwater. Or that he was already struggling with her weight.

This. She felt better already.

As long as he didn't stop kissing her.

One of his arms went from around her waist down to pull up her sliding leg, and she hummed at the contact, his fingertips digging on the underside of her thigh, leaving her breathless and dizzy.

A loud, knocking sound made her eyes fly open as Hiccup dropped her legs and she stepped on his foot again.

He yelped, and Astrid hurried away, "oh my god."

"It's fine, it's fine," he tried not to wince as he smiled at her. "Sorry, Sven!" he said, turning to the said man, as the man smirked, one teasing eyebrow raised.

Astrid didn't know why they called him silent; he seemed to say so much without uttering a single word.

He walked past them, still shaking his head.

Hiccup groaned, rubbing his face with one hand while Astrid giggled.

"Think he saw much?"

"I can't look at him in the face ever again. I'm moving to the continent."

Astrid's giggle turned into a full-on laugh, "you'll change your name! But then they'll identify you when you introduce yourself as Hiccup anyway."

He pinched her hip, she swatted at him, still laughing, and he attempted to be stern, "I'm serious!"

"M-hmm, very serious," she said, but the corners of her lips were already raising, and he couldn't help but smile with her.

Making her laugh was like a little daily miracle.

He was sure one of these days it wouldn't work, and he'd die a little inside because every day he spent with her was like he was using all his future luck for the present.

He'd gladly give it all away if he could just be near her.

"So," she said, stepping back because she didn't trust herself any closer without starting things up, "are we going? or what?"

"Yeah," he said, his fuzzy head clearing a bit, "yes, of course. Let's go," he said, and his heart settled like a purring cat when she grabbed his hand as they walked out. "Who were you talking to, by the way? Did you say 'Roberto'?"

"They were my fans. I left them a message on Instagram," something made her pause as they reached Hiccup's jeep. "Where's Toothless?"

"At home, taking him to the ranch is a lot of juggling," he lamented with a sigh as he opened the door of her side of the jeep and waited until she climbed in before closing it. He got into the car himself before continuing, "so… uhm… what do the- what do the fans say?"

She grinned. "They say I'm pretty."

"Well, they're right," he said like he was talking about the weather, as he started the jeep. "You know? I've heard about Instagram a lot. I was thinking about setting up a profile for my photography."

Astrid's brow furrowed in thought. "Right. Hiccup, you do know you have to get a phone first, don't you?"

He frowned, eyes firmly on the well-traveled town road as he turned right. "I thought you could use it on a browser? I could use my laptop-"

"I mean, sure," admitted Astrid, "but for marketing? It's not exactly the best strategy."

Hiccup hummed, thinking for a moment before he turned the jeep back around.

Astrid sat up straighter, "wait, where are we going?"

"To the hardware store," he smiled at her, "I guess I'm getting a cell phone."

"Oh! Okay. You know you don't have to, if you don't want to, right?"

He shrugged as much as driving allowed, "no, I know, but what you say makes sense. Besides," he started, blushing, "it'd be awkward, talking to you on my home phone while my dad looks on."

She ignored both the dangerous and thrilling flutter in her heart and his comment, and the voice that had been in her heart for more than a week now, telling her why things wouldn't work out.

It was starting to grate on her every time she looked at him.

"How come you didn't have one before?"

The jeep rolled to a stop in front of the hardware store before he answered, pausing to think, hands on the steering wheel as if bracing himself for impact.

"I guess I didn't have anyone I wanted to call," he chuckled, "lame, isn't it?"

"What about my aunt?"

"Sigrid doesn't have a cell phone, and anyway," he unbuckled his seatbelt, "I was always with her, so no need to call."

"Cami?"

"It was just easier to visit, and after…" his face darkened for a moment before he shook it off. "Well, we didn't talk much."

She hummed. "Your mom?"

He shook his head, "she's all the way in New York, and anyway, we have a schedule for calls because she's too busy, usually."

Astrid huffed. "I can relate to that. My mom… she's my manager first. I have her assistant, Martha, on speed-dial."

He considered carefully, before putting a hand over her crossed arms, on her elbow, and it seemed to un-knot her.

She grabbed his hand and took in his vigilant smile.

Something welled up inside her chest, and if he had said anything at all, she would have said _'thank you.'_

But he said nothing, and instead, they walked in together into the hardware shop, greeting Mrs. Ingerman and she watched on, a smile on her face as he compared the specifics of three different phones and he hummed or ah'ed, asking for details from Fishlegs' mom.

Finally, he picked one, and he paid (in full) with a card he had to dig from his wallet.

"Alright," said Astrid as they climbed back on the jeep, holding his phone's bag. "you have to charge it for a while before you use it for the first time, okay? And then,"

"Astrid," he interrupted, smirking, "thank you, but I do know how phones work."

"Here, then," she said coolly, all pink cheeks and offering him his bag.

"Thanks!" he grinned, completely missing her tone.

They drove in silence until they reached the ranch.

She knew he'd been throwing her looks that had grown increasingly worried, but since he didn't say anything, the itch kept on being nurtured.

It was stupid. It really was. She didn't even have a clear idea on why she was so annoyed with him.

They got off the jeep, Astrid jumping down to the ground before Hiccup ever had the chance to open the door for her.

Filled with nervous energy, she had to fight not to explode when he reached for her hand.

"Astrid," he began but was interrupted by Eret opening the door.

"Hey, you guys! You're on time!"

Hiccup glanced at her, but she avoided his face and crossed her arms. Sighing, he turned to the man standing by the door.

"Hey, Eret."

"Sorry, am I interrupting?"

"No!" piped Astrid in, bright like a fluorescent bulb. "Let's get ready for those lessons, right?"

Eret glanced at Hiccup for confirmation, who shrugged.

"Okay… I see," said Eret as the pair approached him. "Alright, Hiccup want me to ready a horse in particular? Sigrid's horse?"

Hiccup blanched, shaking his head like he'd just been offered to be thrown from a cliff or eaten alive. " _Not_ Stormchaser. Remember she only gets the normal exercise. Nadder. She knows Astrid, she's not tired today, and should be warming up. I left instructions for Snotlout with Tuffnut earlier."

"Oh," frowned Eret as all three entered the ranch, and Eret locked the door behind them. "I haven't seen Snotlout since this morning. What's going on with him?"

"I don't know," sighed Hiccup.

Astrid, who knew, wasn't feeling up to participate.

"And Tuffnut left around noon. He was complaining about his arm."

Hiccup sighed, "so he definitely didn't give Snotlout his instructions."

Eret went to get Nadder, and Hiccup guided Astrid to an enclosed area, away from the prying eyes.

"Astrid?"

"Yup?" she said, getting closer to him and grinning à la Stepford.

He stared at her strangely before continuing. "I was not joking before, I need you to be safe, okay? Please, please follow instructions."

She scowled. "I know how to follow instructions. I'm not a baby."

"I know. I know-just…" he sighed. "I need you to be safe. Please promise?"

Her frown and her heart softened at his plea. "Fine. I promise."

Eret was back soon enough and gave Nadder a quick workout before making the mare stop before them. Between Hiccup and Eret they taught her how to climb on the horse, how to keep her posture, but Hiccup always had something to make a comment on, it seemed.

If it wasn't her tense posture, her voice was not the right tone.

It was, frankly, burning up her wick.

"No, I get it," she interrupted one of Hiccup's comments, and pulled on the reigns a little too hard.

So hard, it made Nadder rise on her hind legs and Astrid shot her arms around the horse's neck, and after a while of confusion, adrenaline, getting off the horse and being semi-dragged to the sidelines, the first thing she could properly register was the expression on Hiccup's face.

Hiccup was as pale as a sheet, although the color was quickly turning into a deep pink as he frowned.

"For Thor's sake," he muttered, before turning to Astrid. "That was stupid. Be glad Sigrid didn't see that."

Her heart still pounding, the usual filter between her brain and mouth couldn't be expected to perform. "It was just a mistake!"

"You promised to follow instructions!" he was furious, pointing at her.

"It was just a tiny mistake!" she shouted. "Who made you the boss of me anyway?"

"It's not just about you Astrid, this is serious!" he started walking away, before turning back. "Last time this happened, I paid a leg for it. I... You can't…" he cut himself off, swallowing, "never mind," he muttered, walking away again.

Astrid followed after him. "No, _you_ started talking, now finish it!"

But Hiccup shook his head, stopping, but not facing her. His hands were on his hips and his head was hanging, almost limp.

Astrid was fuming. _Seriously?_

 _Seriously? Was he seriously backing down now?_

"I think," said Eret, unhelpfully, "today's not the best day for a lesson."

"No, it's not," she seethed. "Hiccup. Take me home."

Hiccup didn't respond, taking deep breaths.

"Hiccup!"

But he wasn't responding.

"Hiccup?" she said, softer this time. She took a couple of careful steps towards him, but instead of answering her, he took a deep, shaky breath, before turning to her.

"Fine. I'll… I'll take you home."

"Hiccup?" _Who said that? Eret, or her?_

"Thank you, Eret. I appreciate all your help."

Eret lay a hand on Nadder's snout. "Sure, Hiccup."

Hiccup threw her a look, before turning away.

Her heart froze. She opened her mouth to say something but closed it again because nothing came out. Then she had to speed up to catch up to him.

She didn't dare say anything on the way back, and neither did he.

When they got to Sigrid's house, she unbuckled her belt and climbed off before Hiccup could get out himself.

"Astrid…!" he called to her as she reached the stairs.

She turned back, to see he had gotten off the jeep and was now leaning on the door on the driver's side.

She waited for him to say something. Anything.

But he just climbed back on the jeep and left.

Finding Sigrid asleep upstairs, she had no other entertainment but let everything run around in her head.

Astrid cleaned up the house a little. Spent her day reorganizing things here and there, just to make sure everything was in its place.

Just to make sure her thoughts wouldn't swallow her.

Soon enough, it was time to go to bed.

Sigrid had gotten up once or twice but was fast asleep now.

Uncle Finn had left on a business trip shortly after Sommerfest and would be gone for two weeks.

And Astrid was stewing, sitting on her bed.

In the distance, she could see the shape of Hiccup's house, lit by the moonlight.

She wondered if the image would ever lose its magic.

And that's how she realized she had to see him.

Tiptoeing downstairs, she was almost at the door when she realized she could go to him, and still find him asleep.

Maybe if she'd actually talked to him instead of blowing up at him she'd still have it.

She sighed, considering waking Sigrid up, but went against it, and decided to search on her own.

Fifteen minutes later, she was glued to Sigrid's home phone as she heard the line ring.

Her heart gave a jolt when his sleepy, nasal voice said _"Mum?"_

"No. Astrid. You don't have caller ID?"

 _"Oh… no. It's a really old thing."_

There was silence on both sides, before Astrid remembered the reason she'd called at all.

"We need to talk. Can I come over?"

 _"Yeah… uh… I'm… I'll wait by the backdoor."_

"That's fine. I'll just… I'll be right there."

They gave each other awkward goodbyes, before she hung up, and Astrid rushed upstairs, waking Sigrid briefly to let her know where she'd go, although Astrid wasn't sure her aunt had quite registered it.

The cold bit at her pajama-clad self as she rushed through, a straight line until Hiccup's house started to take definition, bypassing a shed, until Hiccup himself was visible on the door, sleeping t-shirt and pants. Toothless, who was laying on the dock barked, hairy tail wagging as he trotted over to her.

She stopped to pat him hello and he accompanied her until she reached her target.

Leaning on the doorframe, but blocking the entrance was Hiccup, a hesitant smile on his face when they made eye-contact.

"Hey…"

"Hey…"

"Will you let me in?"

He opened the door, letting her in, and she felt like in a different situation he would have taken the chance to make a vampire joke.

But it seemed he wasn't in the mood to do that.

That he was directing her to the living room was already a bad sign.

The fireplace was birthing a hearth, and it was the only light he used besides another lamp on the side table as he sat in the couch, Toothless following suit, and Astrid sat on the other side of the dog, taking the liberty to sit despite not being asked.

There was silence, again, before Hiccup finally dared speak.

"Are you… are you here to break up with me?"

"What?!" the thought was so absurd, she almost shouted. "No! No, of course not!"

Hiccup frowned, puzzled, but didn't comment on that.

It was Astrid that had to take a deep breath and dare this time.

"I'm… I'm sorry… about earlier."

"Me, too. I… I think I shouldn't have overreacted. It's just… the scenario was too similar, and I did mean it. I did lose a leg for it." He raised his left leg, like supporting evidence.

"How… how did it happen?"

He hummed, lost in thought for a moment. "It was so fast. I told Frieda not to get on the horse, because Sigrid said not to, but she convinced me that only once would be fine, and I did want to ride on a horse… It was so fast. That's why, when I saw Nadder rear, all I could think about was whether I'd have to see you die, too."

Her heart beat painfully in her chest. She laid a hand gently on his forearm. "I'm safe. You know that, right?" she waited until he nodded before continuing. "And… I'm sorry. I shouldn't have lost my temper."

The mention of temper seemed to give him a second wind. "Can you-why are you so mad at me?"

"Not mad anymore…! I don't think I was ever mad at you, I just… I have a really bad temper. I didn't realize I was taking it out on you."

He stared at her blue eyes intently, before a slow, feeble smile showed up on his face. "As long as you don't break my nose, right?"

She jumped so fast, like she'd been touched by a sizzling pan. A sickening pallor presented itself on her skin as she started pacing. "Oh god. That was just the same thing, wasn't it? God. What is wrong with me?"

Hiccup seemed to regret his joke quickly, standing up and grabbing her shoulders still. "Hey, hey, hey…" her arms flew around his waist, and he curled his around her. "You're okay," he soothed her the best way he could.

 _'I'm not okay! I'm a monster!_ ' she wanted to say, but instead she buried herself in his embrace. "I'm sorry. I'm… How aren't you scared of me?"

"You know it could go wrong, now, though. Don't you? And you'll do something about it?"

"Yeah."

"Nothing to fear, then. I trust you."

She felt exhausted. There was an ache in her soul like she'd just been torn apart and rebuilt using staples. Stapled together at the rhythm of his beating heart.

"Hiccup?"

"Yes?"

It felt like the words were insufficient, but she said them anyway.

"Thank you."


	18. Come What May pt 2

**WARNING: THIS CHAPTER MAY CONTAIN CONTENT OF A SEXUAL NATURE AND TALK ABOUT DIETING AND BODY IMAGE.**

* * *

 **Chapter 18 – Come What May pt 2** by **The Tide Rose**

 _Is it meant, is it meant to be_

 _Cause you know I would never leave_

 _I don't want to run away this time_

 _I will be waiting patiently_

* * *

She shuffled, trying to keep her focus on the script before her, but he was so distracting.

His fingers handling the piece of wood, and the concentrated furrowing of his brown brow, culminating in the way he distractedly bit his lip as he worked, and the lazy way his spine curved when he reached down from his stool to pet Toothless when he came for a visit before running off again.

All of it was good. All of it was hers to enjoy, now, from her own spot on the other side of his shed.

They'd dragged one of the comfortable chairs from the dock into his workshop, and she'd borrowed his laptop to read the script Erik had sent to her.

At least someone was satisfied with her ruse.

Hiccup stretched, leaving his carving tool and the piece of wood he was working with on the table, throwing his arms upwards and letting out a groan that reached inside her, leaving her a little breathless. And then he topped it by smiling at her.

Afternoon was already setting in, and soon it would be time to go prepare dinner with Sigrid, so she wouldn't be lonely. Uncle Finn wasn't back yet, but Sigrid was acting stranger than ever, and, frankly, they were both worried.

"What's wrong?"

She looked up from the screen to find him looking at her, hands steady on the table, and she sighed, closing the laptop down, and standing up to approach him.

The laptop securely on the table, she came close to him, sighing at the perfect way his hands settled on her hips, thumbs caressing her hipbones as she closed her eyes, hands on his cheeks as she tilted his head just enough that pressing her lips to his was naturally angled.

He sighed contentedly when she pulled back, a sweet smile stretching over his lips.

The peace didn't last long, his eyes snapping open and getting up to follow her, backing her against the table as her arms traveled around his neck to bring him in closer.

His hips pressed against her, making her gasp into the kiss, and she had to open her eyes, his green eyes like watercolor pupils, his open mouth.

She wanted it on her.

Astrid perched her butt on the edge of the table one hand to help her up and the other making sure he wouldn't go anywhere, knotting her calves behind him, bringing him home.

He had to steady himself, one hand on the table as she pressed against him, and the other on her waist, gliding up over her jumper as she pulled him in for another searing kiss.

His other hand found purchase on her thigh as it coiled around his body, nothing he could do but press his groin against her, making her let out the most _wonderful_ noise.

She made it again when his lips pressed against her jaw and then against her neck, his left hand stroking her thigh. He moaned when her hand went down his body, fingertips venturing under his t-shirt, near his jean's buckle, and her nails gently scraped on his skin.

 _Gods… If she kept going like this…_

A bark and a clatter made them stop, and Hiccup, unable to turn from Astrid completely because of… reasons, could only look back at the open door, blanching and turning to Astrid, giving her space to get down from the table, blue eyes wide as she poked her head from his shoulder.

He looked up to the ceiling. **_Why_** _was this happening to him?_

"Hey," he said with his still rusty voice. He cleared his throat and tried again, "hey, dad. Uhm…"

"I was just… I was just leavin'." Stoick stood in the doorframe. Too large to actually enter the shed, but just enough that his retreat had made him crash against the wooden door. "I didn't know you were…" he cleared his throat, " _occupied."_

"Oh, Gods." He pressed his face against Astrid's shoulder. "Is he gone yet?" he whispered to her.

"No," she whispered back to him.

"Dad!"

"Right! I'll uh… I'll wait for you in the house."

Hiccup waited until he heard the footsteps recede, the comforting weight of Toothless rubbing against his calves. The right one, at least.

He stepped back, allowing Astrid her freedom, only to walk back to his stool and press his face against the wood of the table.

Astrid tactfully went and closed the door, then came back to him, hearing him sigh.

"Of all the times to be interested in my activities, he chooses _now._

She couldn't stop the laughter.

"Ha-ha. Very funny," he grumbled.

She giggled. "It _is_ very funny!"

He couldn't stay mad at her for long. Particularly when she laughed like that, throwing her head back, making fun of his face.

There was something he wanted to say to her, right there, but he didn't have the words to say it.

Instead, he said:

"Enough laughing. Dinner awaits us, Milady."

Astrid wiped a tear from the corner of her eye, "alright then. Are we bringing the camera?"

"Yes. And the laptop," he pecked her cheek, and then her lips. "Wait here, I'll go get the power chord."

"Can I go?" she called out to him by the doorframe.

"Oh, actually, can you wait here? There are some things…" he blushed, "Some things I need to… _reorganize_ , and imagine what my dad would say if he saw you coming up with me."

Her cheeks flushed, her gaze travelling down his body, biting her lower lip as beautiful blue snapped back to his face.

"You know? Looking at me like that is _not_ helping," he complained.

She smiled deceptively sweetly up at him. "Oh? How should I help out?" she punctuated with a wink.

He caught on relatively fast, the blush on his cheeks deepening. "I'll be back, and you…" he pointed to Toothless, who was sitting next to Astrid, "let's go, buddy."

And he turned, Toothless trotting to catch up to him, and him stepping away uncomfortably trying to ignore the fact that Astrid was in the opposite direction, with her winks, her smile, and her _hands._

He went and came back soon enough, his camera's case hanging from the strap around his neck and gave the laptop's power chord to Astrid.

"How did it go?" she said when he reached her, taking his hand with the hand that wasn't busy.

Hiccup offered her a feeble smile for the contact, but it quickly died out when he frowned. "He'll be here for the race on Friday. I'm…" he inhaled air like he wanted to inhale courage.

She gave his hand a squeeze. "Hey… I'm here."

He smiled, but didn't say anything else, so they started to walk in the direction of Sigrid's house, Toothless trotting obligingly along them.

The relationship between his dad and he was something she almost understood.

On one hand, Hiccup found his dad incredibly stifling to bear.

On the other, there seemed to be nothing Hiccup wanted more than to impress him.

Well, perhaps she might have understood it years ago, when it all seemed to look up, and she didn't need to date other stars for popularity.

Nowadays, all she felt for her mom was resentment.

Astrid opened Sigrid's house using her key, and let Toothless in first, and after divesting of her coat and his jacket, Hiccup kissed her forehead, his hands coming to rest naturally on the sides of her waist.

"I'll start things up, I know there's enough meat for spaghetti and meatballs, if that's okay?"

She hummed, taking comfort from his body's nearness. "That's great," she punctuated with a peck. "I'll go and try to wake Sigrid up."

Astrid started to walk up the stairs, but turned to find Toothless staring at her intently, seemingly torn. "Well?"

But the mention of meat was too much temptation for the dog, and he followed Hiccup to the kitchen.

"Traitor!" she called at him, and Hiccup's chuckle reached her from the other room.

Then soon enough, she was carefully peeling back Sigrid's bedroom door, eyes widening when she found her aunt combing her long honey-blonde hair.

Hiccup started on the meatballs, ears perked up for when Astrid would return, unsuccessful.

He already knew that when Sigrid got like this there was little to nothing anyone could do but watch her.

Her ghost-like presence was difficult to bear, particularly in this time of the year, when Frieda's death anniversary approached and even after it had already passed.

If only he hadn't fallen off his horse, maybe she would have recovered faster this year.

And that was why he wasn't surprised when Astrid showed up fifteen minutes later alone, reaching for the tomato sauce jar and held it close to her face, reading the label.

"She's not coming, huh?"

Astrid sighed, and it was all Hiccup needed to know the answer.

It was only later, when they were satisfied, the dishes done, and a plate left in Sigrid's bedside table that they were sitting on Astrid's bed, computer on his lap, and Toothless curled up in the corner.

She was so amused by the hilarious lengths he was going to keep them innocent in case Sigrid came in to look, like leaving the door open, and putting a pillow between them, Astrid didn't have the heart to try anything. At least at the moment.

Instead, she settled her head on his shoulder, gluing her gaze to the screen as he showed her other pictures he had taken.

"What is this one about?" she said, caressing the laptop's screen.

In the picture, there was a wizened up old lady, tired looking eyes and long hair, almost white was fixed up into long braids. She stood at the docks, a carved wooden cane on her hand.

Behind her, the stone statues stood proudly, lit by the setting sun.

"It's our goði," said Hiccup finally. "Our priest," he added, when Astrid didn't say anything.

"What is her name?"

"We don't know."

Astrid had to stare at him in the face when he said that. "Wait what?"

"We're really not allowed to know," he laughed, "I think only dad knows. And _she_ won't tell me either."

"Huh…" she settled back on his arm. "How many pictures can you send for that contest?"

"Two per person."

"I think you should send this one."

She didn't have to see him directly to feel his worried frown. "You don't like yours from Sommerfest?"

Astrid reached to close the laptop screen, turning about to face him. From the corner of the bed, Toothless raised his head, and jumped off the bed.

"Wait no… come back!" she called, but Toothless was already out the door. She turned to Hiccup to find fondness in his green eyes.

Sighing as she threw a disappointed look at where Toothless had disappeared off to, she returned to her original goal. She clasped both hands on his shoulders, and his hands made an involuntary movement, reaching for her and then settling back down. "Listen Hiccup Haddock…"

"I'm listening."

"You have a gift…" she licked her lips, attempting to organize her thoughts. "You have a gift of seeing things _as they are_ and finding them beautiful anyway."

He chuckled. "That's a bit too much credit you're giving me, don't you think? Most of what I know my mum taught me anyway."

Astrid frowned, and one hand splayed over his heart. "It's still you behind the camera."

Kneeling up, she towered over him, all sincere blue eyes and beautiful blonde hair and _her_.

His free hand was cradling her jaw before he was aware of it. "Maybe, but you're the one on the other side."

She laughed, "cheesy!" she said, "but… I like it," and settled again next to him and discussed their trip to the longhouse in the cove until Sigrid made a ghost-like appearance to thank them for the meal and made Hiccup realize how late it'd gotten.

The next day, Hiccup picked her up in the late morning. Sigrid had gone somewhere early, and left Astrid a note and scrambled eggs on the fridge, so she was impatient for him to arrive.

So much so, she was already running out the door before he even got off the jeep, and she would have cringed at her own eagerness if he hadn't stumbled in his rush to exit, so he'd be ready for her.

Thankfully, she didn't jump on him since she was holding a garment bag, though she did pull him down for a quick kiss.

"C'mon, babe!" she woke him from his daze, calling as she circled the jeep, "clock's a' ticking!"

"Is that it?"

"Yup!"

Hiccup threw one last look at the windows on the second level before climbing on.

They drove with the windows rolled up, because Astrid didn't want to upset her hair before she even got into the dress.

The mood was starkly different from when they'd come with the rest.

Before, the longhouse was fun and loud, and now, all they could hear besides their steps and Toothless' paws digging in the gravel was the sound of the small waterfall at the back, and birds chirping in the background.

Hiccup opened the longhouse for her, so she could change in privacy while he took a few preview shots.

Unzipping the garment bag, Astrid pulled out a long, white dress, made of volumes of gathered, sheer, soft fabric.

It had a tight bodice and long, loose sleeves. It was incredibly expensive.

And she was about to ruin it with lake water.

She was smiling as she tried it on, until the zipper in the bodice didn't want to go all the way up.

Tired of struggling with it, she called Hiccup to come in for a second.

"Are you sure?"

"Hurry!" she said, presenting her back to him.

He tried to ignore his heartbeat when he saw the light hit her spine.

"Alright, I'm going to breathe in, and you have to pull the zipper up really fast. Alright?"

"I've got it," he said, trying to sound like the sight didn't affect him.

Astrid breathed in, and Hiccup rushed to zip the dress up, making sure it was solid before telling her it was alright to let go.

She winced as she let out her breath, patting hands around her ribs.

"Can you breathe?"

"Uh-huh. Just a little tighter than I remembered." She frowned, and together they walked out into the light of day. "I'm gonna have to watch what I eat from now on, or I won't fit into anything for fashion week. Ever since I got here, I'm telling you."

He frowned, "I hardly see a difference, what do you even mean?"

Astrid thought about telling him what it was like, being on a diet most of the time, working her ass off in the gym almost every day for hours at a time. How now that she was in the public eye her weight was a topic for the masses to discuss and have an opinion on.

Instead, she smiled. "Maybe you weren't paying attention."

"Psh!" he laughed, "do you have any idea what you look like? If anything, I was paying _too much_ attention."

Her heart wanted her to tell him: _'that's not enough. You don't understand.'_

But she'd take the compliment because it was well-meant. She'd pay a kiss and a smile for it.

"Alright, Mr. Charmer," she said when they broke away, "let's get this shoot going."

He smiled one of those slanted smiles of his, and he followed her to the waterfall.

He'd been trying not to stare too hard, but there was just so much skin available to peruse. From her collarbone, to the exposed legs, and, when she posed a certain way, the gentle slope of her skin as her shoulder slid slightly off.

And that was _before_ she even got on the lake.

Now, the wet dress clung to her, only the strategic folds and gatherings of the fabric preserving her modesty, as the white fabric had become almost see-through.

Her blonde hair was pulled back into a half-braid, like she'd worn on Sommerfest.

And through his lens? She was absolutely perfect.

Except for that tiny little detail.

"Wait," he said putting the camera on the stool he'd gotten for that same purpose. "Come over here." He approached the edge of the lake and did his best not to laugh at Astrid waddling her way over.

"What's wrong?" she said, detecting the hint of a concealed smirk.

"Right!" the amusement was pushed away to put to rest more delicate matters. "It's just... there are some…" he gestured to her general chest area.

She laughed, throwing her head back. "Oh! Well, it _is_ cold, you know?"

He flushed, "Right! I'm sorry, you want to get out, now?"

Astrid nodded, shivering when a breeze passed by.

He rushed ahead as she battled the skirt of the dress and hummed gratefully when he wrapped a towel around her and rubbed his hands over her arms for warmth as they walked back to the longhouse.

"So, for future reference I'd like to know: do you want me to photoshop them out?"

"What? No, why would you?" said Astrid as she used the same towel to attempt to dry her hair.

He shrugged, eyes on the ceiling as she stretched her arms to undo her braid.

A devilish smirk sprouted on her face as she turned away from him. "Help me with the zip?"

She could almost hear him gulp as he gently moved her hair from her back to her front, and his fingertips were almost shaky sliding it down as his right hand settled on her waist.

He was soon lost in the expanse skin of her back, and the way it was dotted a sky-ful of freckles. No fabric under her shoulder blades.

He swallowed again, breathless.

The zipper stopped at her waist, and the dress started to peel back from her body.

His left hand stayed. Fingertips barely holding the zipper.

"Have you ever slept with someone?"

He stepped back, with the blush of a guilty conscience. "W-what?"

She turned around, holding the front of her now-loose dress with one hand. She felt strangely vulnerable. "I'm… because of how you react. I thought-maybe…"

"Oh," he said, still not looking at her. "Yes. Back when…" he cleared his throat. "Back when I was with Cami we… uh… we slept together."

Astrid shuffled, not quite sure what to do with herself now that her attempt at seduction had gone wrong.

Finally, she sighed, facing him with her flushed cheeks. "I want you. Badly."

He straightened. "Right now? Because right now… I'm just not…"

 _Well, now she felt ridiculous holding up the stupid dress._ "You don't-you don't want me?"

"No, no, no, no," he rushed to her grabbing her shoulders. "I want you. _Gods! So very much_. But the whole thing… I'm… I'm not ready yet." He whispered the last part, like a secret he had to be ashamed for.

She sighed in relief. "Okay." She sighed a second time, "okay! That's okay. I can wait."

"Really? Isn't it weird?"

She shrugged. "If you say you're not ready, you're not ready, right?"

"Thank you," he said, softly, wrapping her in his arms.

Astrid wrapped both of hers around his waist and it was hard not to be aware that the only thing holding up her dress was their bodies pressed together.

"What about other things?" she said, muffled against his neck.

"Other things?"

"Uh-huh. Other things."

He cleared his throat the same way he wanted to clean his mind. "Other things… I think I'm fine with… other things."

"Really?"

"Yes. Other things. Absolutely approved."

"Good."

Thankfully when they got back there was no one to answer why his clothes were all damp.


	19. Through the Eyes of a Child

**WARNING: This chapter may contain discusssion and/or reference to sexual activities**

* * *

 **Chapter 19 - Through the Eyes of a Child** by **Aurora**

 _When a human strokes your skin_

 _That is when you let them in_

 _Let them in before you go_

 _I would rather feel alive with a childlike soul_

 _With a childlike soul..._

* * *

There was a slight shake to his hand as he passed it over Natt Fury's braided mane.

The silence from the ranch' private stables was unbearable, and he almost sighed in relief every time Stormchaser, Nadder, or Stormchaser's little foal made any sound.

He wished he could become a horse and stand there, not having to think about anything.

Unable to disappoint anyone.

Hiccup had to stand there, in front of the crowd, and listen to them cheer for Eret's victory against him, his face muscles not cooperating to give his friend a sincere smile.

So ashamed he'd felt, he had hidden away from his friends, from Sigrid, and from his… from Astrid.

From his dad.

That had for once delayed a trip to Scotland, so he could be there to see him win, and instead had been there to see him lose.

The footsteps betrayed their weight by the sound of the gravel, and he didn't have to turn to know who was in the stables with him.

He greeted his dad to be polite, but he couldn't bear to face him.

"Hiccup," said his dad with that deep voice of his. "what happened?"

Hiccup shrugged, trying to conceal the shake of his hand. "I guess I had a lame horse?"

Natt Fury loudly disagreed with a snort right in his face. Hiccup chuckled dispiritedly. "Just horsing around."

"Turn around… All of you. There. Now. What happened?"

But Hiccup still wasn't looking at his father in his face, and Stoick's chest filled with fury, and emptied into a long-suffering sigh. "Whatever happened to focusing on what matters?"

Hiccup shrugged.

"Hiccup. We had a deal. We'd talked about this before."

Freckly face splotched with red anger, Hiccup opened his mouth to protest, but Stoick had already raised his hand to stop him.

"And then I hear you've been running around with this girl leaving all the work to that nice lad Eret-It's already bad enough I have to search for Snotlout under each rock nowadays, now I have to worry about you, too?"

"Running around?" Hiccup choked out, "I've… This is the first time I do anything but work! Go to the ranch, go back home. I thought… I thought you wanted me to have friends."

The raise in Hiccup's voice made Stoick's volume to go up too. His bushy brows furrowed over squinting eyes. "I _want_ you to have friends! I just want you to focus on what is important!"

"Important!" cried Hiccup, "I'm tired of your important! Why does it even matter if I win or not every single time?"

"You know how important it is for your image!"

"My image?"

"For constancy! For the people! They," Stoick licked his lips. "They're going to respect you in the future, when you lead Berk!"

Hiccup coughed, choking with his surprise, "when I _lead_ Berk? When is that even happening?"

Stoick's frown deepened. "Hiccup. Son. We've had conversations about this before. You have to know by now."

 _Conversations?_ So, all those stories and lectures his father gave him about their family's history, about the importance of keeping people happy and safe…

He'd admired his father, once.

Hiccup started to pace, and Natt Fury gave a little snort and backed off into his stall.

"There are no chieftains anymore, because of the rules of my grandfather, and our integration with the Kingdom," continued Stoick, attempting to override Hiccup's pacing with his booming voice. "-but it's our duty, as Haddock, to rule Berk."

"But I don't," Hiccup stopped, dead on his feet. "I don't want to rule Berk? And I thought the lawperson was elected anyway?"

Stoick said nothing, but his brow easing was his tell.

Horrified realization dawned on Hiccup's face, and his skin drained of color. "That is why you've been so insistent. The whole horse riding thing… just a PR move."

"Son," started Stoick, placating, "I was just pushing in the right direction. You're good at it! and I thought if people supported you… then that could only be a promising sign…"

It was the first time Hiccup felt terrifyingly breathless in a long time. "I don't… I can't… So that whole 'family is important' thing; all those stories you told me… they were all for this?"

Stoick shifted in his place, his large hands clasping and wringing. Then he stilled. "Son, I was looking out for you." He tried placing a hand on Hiccup's shoulder, but Hiccup jerked away at the contact. "It was for your own good! What future do you have otherwise? You show no interest but for your camera and your dogs! How will that feed you? You know the people here, they don't think a picture is worth paying." He frowned as Hiccup started pacing again.

"Well, definitely not here, but in other places…" mumbled Hiccup bitterly.

"So, what are you saying?" Stoick crossed his arms. If Hiccup didn't know him he would've thought him too imposing to look at directly. "Are you saying that you want to leave? Is this about your mother?" then Stoick's eyes narrowed, "is this about that Hofferson girl? Finn's niece?"

Hiccup's face flushed, but he denied it.

"I don't believe it." Stoick reddened. "She will _leave_ , son! She's going to go back to that _glamourous_ life of hers and forget about you!" stressed Stoick.

Hiccup turned to his father, an uncommon glare in his green eyes. "She's not mum, dad."

A flash of hurt passed over Stoick's features, but it was gone so fast, if Hiccup didn't know him so well, he would have missed it. A scowl soon rearranged his face. "I was trying to give you a warning," he said gravelly.

Hiccup mirrored his scowl. "Thanks, but it won't be needed."

They stood face to face, Hiccup extending a hand into the stall to caress Natt Fury's snout.

Finally, Stoick sighed. "I'm late for the ferry."

"Won't they wait for you?"

Stoick frowned.

"Just… think about what I said? Hiccup?"

Hiccup nodded resisting the urge of rolling his eyes.

Before he left, Stoick said: "there's money on the counter. Give my greetings to Sigrid."

It struck Hiccup almost as funny as it did sad that Stoick needed to catch up on so much.

* * *

Astrid descended on Cami like a sudden thunderstorm.

"I need to talk to you about Hiccup."

Cami raised an eyebrow. "Then talk."

On the other side of a shop a customer was checking out all the available styles of dog collars and leashes.

Astrid leaned in, look fixed on the customer. "Not here. Can't you leave for a minute?"

Cami fixed on a levelled stare that didn't match her crazy hair. "I'm working."

Astrid huffed, and went behind the counter with her. "I will work with you."

"Fine, what did you want to talk about?"

The customer asked about the price and Cami answered before turning to Astrid. "So?"

Astrid lowered her voice, "you had sex, right?"

Cami laughed, "you'll have to be specific about which particular instance."

Astrid's cheeks reddened. "No. With Hiccup."

"I mean," Cami frowned, "yeah, back when we dated. Why? What is this ab-oooh… Oh! Oh my god! Did you two-fu-!"

Astrid shot forward, covering Cami's mouth and looking to their customer, a middle-aged lady that was staring at them wide-eyed. "Nothing to see here, Ma'am, continue with your shopping!"

But the lady backed out of the vet shop warily into the street.

Astrid sighed, deflating on the stool by the computer.

"Well, that took care of the privacy issue," laughed Cami, "and I gotta admit, that kinda turned me on. You're stronger than you look."

"I work out all the time," mumbled Astrid, giving listless turns on the stool. "When I'm in New York, I mean."

Cami lifted her mane to let some cool air on her neck. "So? Did you two… you know? Had some adult time? Did some belly bumping? Did the do? Danced the horizontal tango? Bow-chick-a-wow?"

Astrid raised her hand to interrupt her. "I got it. How do you know so many words for it? And no. And that's the problem."

Cami frowned, "I mean, did you _try_?"

"Yeah."

"And?"

Astrid bit her lip, slouching as she thought. "Well, he said he's not ready."

"Not ready?"

"Not for _everything_. All the way."

Cami winced. "I might have something to do with that?"

Astrid frowned. "How?"

"This was about… two years ago now, I think. I still hadn't figured out the whole bi thing and how it works, and that was when Hiccup asked me out. But I told you about that, right?"

Astrid nodded, straightening in her seat.

"But anyway," continued Cami with a heavy sigh, "uh, I wanted to find out if I felt the same with other guys, or if it was just Hiccup I couldn't like back, you know? But I also didn't… want to _end_ things prematurely, _you know_?"

Astrid frowned, a hot bubble of liquid fury swelled in her chest. "You _cheated_ on him?"

Cami sat on her own stool, and raised both hands to conciliate her, "this was two years ago, and I'm not finished."

Astrid crossed her arms, leaning back so her spine was supported by the wall.

"The point is," Cami continued, "that I _might_ have or I might not have said someone else's name in the middle of it and ruined the mood." She cleared her throat. "It was a whole mess. Hiccup was really down for a while after that, but in the end we talked things through and I apologized."

Astrid glared at her, and Cami's spine straightened, her chin tilted up.

"Hiccup was kind enough to forgive me, and you know we're friends now."

Cami's blue eyes were as fierce as hers, and Astrid could see the earnest in the stiffness of Cami's jaw.

Then Cami's throat moved as she swallowed. "I just… I didn't think it would still affect him." She crossed her arms, "shit… No wonder he didn't date around after that."

There was something remorseful about the way Cami looked to the side, and Astrid was reminded that Cami was her friend, too.

"Hey…" she reached to grasp Cami's shoulder, giving it a squeeze. "It's okay."

Cami turned to Astrid, stared into her eyes for a moment, and then kissed her.

It was a brief peck, and Astrid's shocked face sent Cami into a fit of laughter.

"Oh my God!" she said as she cackled, swiveling around in her stool at Astrid's puzzled face. "Oh my god!" laughed Cami, "God, I hope you're not angry with me for that."

Astrid started waking from her stupor, "I… I don't…"

Cami patted Astrid's shoulder, "It's fine. Seriously! Don't be weird about it?"

"What? You just kissed me!"

Cami leaned back, throwing her hands up in defense, "just testing a theory! But nothing there! We're cool, right?"

Astrid barked a nervous laugh, "I guess?"

"Seriously, though, are we cool?"

One of her eyebrows cocked up, "I'm just confused?"

"Look," said Cami, one hand on Astrid's shoulder and patting it, "I'm still trying to figure out this whole 'is it a crush or not' thing, okay? I'm sorry I surprised you. Now. Onto more important matters."

"We're seriously just going to brush this off?"

"Yes."

"Okay."

"Okay?"

"Yes."

"Good," punctuated Cami. "Now, when my shift is over, I'm taking you to get condoms."

Astrid blushed, "I don't think that's necessary."

Cami gave her a flat stare, "you're not seriously telling me you brought some with you all the way from America, did you?"

Astrid's mouth opened and closed, an incredulous frown on her face, "but Hiccup, he's not ready."

Cami rolled her eyes, "I know. And I hope you won't push him."

Astrid's frown turned thoughtful. "Of course not."

"But if he says he's ready, don't you want to be prepared?" Cami insisted.

"I guess."

"Besides, I know his favorite kind."

* * *

Hiccup opened his door to a shivering Astrid, and immediately stepped aside to let her in.

Toothless sniffed at her boots and raised on his hind legs to press his paws against her.

"Hey, Toothless," she sighed, welcoming the warmth of Hiccup's house. "Hey, babe," she said, pressing a quick peck on his lips as she unshouldered her bag.

"Milady," he said, the nickname more a question than a greeting, taking her bag while she took off her coat. "Everything okay with Sigrid?"

"Yeah. I sneaked out."

"Sneaked out?"

"Left a note." She passed him her coat and took her bag.

"A note? Saying that you sneaked out?"

Astrid shifted her weight to her other foot. "No. Saying I'd gone to visit you early so we could have breakfast together before we picked Heather up at the docks."

Hiccup swallowed. "But you're here now."

"Yeah. I want to sleep with you. -Not like that!" she added when his eyebrows shot up.

There was something tremulous about his chuckle. "Oh, I… yeah. Right. Like…" he licked his lips, "you mean like a sleepover?"

Astrid nodded, hands clasped on her front, and a straight line in her brows. "That's right. I promise, _no_ funny business," she called as she followed Toothless upstairs.

"But I sort of like funny business, I'll let you know. I'm very funny. Practically a comedian."

Her snort reached him from upstairs and he found that even though his day had been shitty, his night promised to be much better.

Once he'd found a place for her coat and a spare pair of slippers, he trudged upstairs, entering his room to find Astrid already snuggly under the covers, and a hand patting Toothless' fur.

"Wait, Toothless!"

Toothless raised his head, but dropped it again, ignoring Hiccup's pointed look. Hiccup cursed in his mind, rushing for the lint roller, and started running it over the duvet.

The motion disturbed Toothless, who glared at him and jumped off the bed. "Sorry," Hiccup whispered at the dog, but Toothless left the room without looking back.

Hiccup sighed. "And now he's upset. Great."

Astrid hummed, and patted the empty side of the bed. Hiccup sighed again, putting the lint roller to the side and climbing beside Astrid.

"Get under here," she mumbled, eyes squinting at him in the dark.

He took off his glasses, putting them on the side table. "I'd have to take my leg off."

"Naturally."

 _Naturally_ , she said. Hiccup swallowed the pit that had grown in his throat.

He swung on his side of the bed, so he was facing away from her.

While he was taking his liner sock off, Astrid mumbled behind him. "How many legs do you have?"

"Wow," he said in mock offense, "insensitive."

"You know what I mean."

He chuckled. "Alright. Hmmm. I've got the one for general use, the waterproof one -just in case-, the riding one, too."

"All matters of shapes and sizes."

"You're mocking me."

The duvet crumpled as she got up and scooted closer, pressing her lips to his nape and making him shiver.

"I'm not. I just didn't know you needed more than one. Now come on," she said, pulling his shoulder back, so he'd lie down.

He let out a shaky breath, and finally tucked himself under the covers, scooting near her. Shivering when her legs tangled in his, her foot brushing against his stump. He waited for her horrified gasp. Her jumping back.

Instead, she hummed, and her fingers grabbed onto his t-shirt, her lips pressing against his pulse.

Hiccup didn't realize he needed to breath until he was gasping. His fingertips on her waist tightened. "I thought you said no funny business?"

"No funny business." She said, pulling back with a regretful sigh. "Oh. Speaking of funny business, Cami kissed me today."

He shot up. "What?!"

Astrid sat up with a reaching, soothing hand. "It's okay. It was just the moment. I promise, it's all good," she said, pressing his chest down gently. "We were having an intense conversation and I think she got confused. That's all."

"Are you sure?"

"Super sure. Just thought you should know."

"Oh." He sighed. Then his brow furrowed. "What were you even talking about? Is it… did something happen to Cami's mum?"

Astrid bit her lip. Thinking about whether it'd be a smart idea to say. "Actually, it was about you. She told me… she told me why you broke up."

Hiccup sat back up, unable to face her. Bitter, embarrassed splotches of red were present in his skin. "Is that… is that why you came tonight?"

Astrid pulled a lock of hair behind her ear. "Well, I missed you. You left so quickly after the race."

He choked out a sigh. "I didn't… I wanted to be alone."

He could feel her body near his, but she wasn't touching him.

"You didn't have to be."

But Hiccup shook his head. "I disappoint everyone."

"Not me."

He glanced at her briefly before shaking his head again. "Of course, I do. You want… but I'm not…"

"Hiccup, look at me. Hiccup?"

He did.

She was looking at him with that look, and the glow from the lamp in his desk fell over her cheeks and the highs of her nose.

"Trust me. All we've done so far? I'm not disappointed."

There was something dark and molten in her blue eyes. He wanted to kiss it off her face.

"Astrid?"

"Hmm?"

"I know you said no funny business, but… can I try something?"

Astrid sat up straighter, nodding, pushing back the covers a bit, now that she was warm.

He swallowed his fear, pressing his lips to hers. His chest was light. Lighter as he kissed her neck.

Fuller when his hand slid from her waist and up and when the shirts came off.

When her hands touched his skin.

After, when he kissed her forehead, as they caught their breath, she whispered something to him.

"Take my picture."

"What?"

"Take my picture," she insisted, and wore her oversized T-shirt again over naked skin to get up and get it for him.

He took the camera and turned it on, following her instructions despite the confusion.

Hiccup framed her, "sit, like this. One leg folded under the other. Perfect. There."

Astrid scrambled to see the picture.

"It might not be that good."

But she was watching it with eager eyes. "It's perfect," she whispered.

Then she took the camera from him, and settled between his arms, kissing him goodnight.


	20. You

**No warning this time!**

 **I wanted to add here a thank you! First, all of you who are reading, subscribing, sending kudos, following, favoriting, and commenting on this story. If you hadn't kept on reading I probably wouldn't have continued writing, so I just wanted to say I really appreciate it.**

 **Second, I want to thank Stef for showing me this beautiful song! I had the outline for this chapter planned, but some things changed thanks to the inspiration I got from this song.**

 **Without further ado, let us go on with chapter 20.**

* * *

 **Chapter 20 - You** by **Marcus Warner feat. Fatma Fadel**

 _I'm fallin' with you, and I can't let go_

 _But how long can we fall for?_

* * *

 _Why_ , in everything that was sacred, WHY was it so cold? in summer?

Astrid wiggled her toes in her boots, and her fingers in her jeans' pockets as they watched the ferry approach the Isle in the distance.

Hiccup watched, amused, as he played with Toothless, rubbing his hands over the dog's fur.

She glared at him, "aren't you supposed to give me your jacket? Isn't that the romantic thing to do?"

"Well," said Hiccup, looking pointedly away from her, "you did _insist_ a lot this morning on not wearing your coat."

Astrid shivered, "that's because I wasn't cold, then," she grumbled.

Hiccup hummed distractedly.

They stood there for a bit before Astrid stomped her foot.

" _Fine._ Okay. I admit it. You were right, it's too cold. Now _give_ me the jacket."

Hiccup chuckled, straightening to take off the jacket. He was almost done, and Astrid's cold hands were already grabbing on it to put it on.

He watched her, a playful, lopsided smile on his face as she gave a toasty sigh.

She gave a still-shivery smile, and he just had to get close to her. The cap on her blonde head was inconvenient, but when he slid his arm around her waist, and used his other hand to tilt her jaw, there was nothing blocking him from kissing her.

He gave a dreamy sigh at her smile when their lips parted, "what's the cap for? It's not even sunny."

"It's my disguise," she said, squinting.

"Not a very good one. Unless it's Astrid Hofferson With a Cap."

She pouted, and gave a tug at a lock of his hair, "when did you get this sassy?"

He smiled, "I was always this sassy. You love it that I'm sassy."

Astrid frowned, "and what if I do?"

And she was shown the consequences.

They parted again. "Oh!" he said, stepping back and searching on the jacket's pockets.

"what?" she mumbled. Extending her arms so he could search her. "Not here Hiccup!" she hissed when he unshouldered the jacket, but he only gave her a cheeky smirk, and she blushed when his hand went into the inner pocket of the jacket and he brought out a chained object.

"Oh… That's what you were… What is that?"

"This…" Hiccup chuckled, turning the small, round object over in his hand, "this is what I've been making." He extended his open palm towards her, "it's… uh… it's for you."

She bit her lower lip, tucking escaped locks from her braid behind her ears. Taking the object, she brought it closer to her eyes to examine it.

It was something like a pendant. It was almost as big as her palm, reaching her knuckles. It was wooden, circular, and it had a delicate chain hooked in. On one side, the pendant had something like letters carved, and the other side was smooth.

"You made this… for me?"

He crossed his arms, one hand shooting up to scratch at his brow. "Yes. Uh… I've… I haven't made anything so dainty ever, usually I just try to build… machines."

Blue eyes shifted to look at him, an adoring thumb brushing over the carving. "Machines? Like the dog-brusher thing in your shed?"

He took a deep breath, trying to downplay his embarrassed grimace, "yeah, yes. Did _not_ work. Fish still hasn't forgiven me. But!" he raised his pointer finger, coming closer and taking the pendant from her, "I worked _really_ hard on this. Look, if you just press with just the right amount… there."

And it was open, like a locket.

She knew Hiccup was watching her reaction. When she didn't say anything, he started stammering.

"It's-it's not waterproof, I don't really know how to make the inside waterproof. There's wax over it though, so it _can_ be wet, just be careful with what you put inside. I figured somehow it would be useful. There's nothing inside it, though. I just thought-"

She threw her arms around him, interrupting him with a kiss. "Thank you," she whispered when they parted, and couldn't stop grinning as she swung the chain around her neck and let the locket fall under her jumper.

"I'm glad you liked it. I know it's not very fancy, but…"

Astrid shook her head. "I love it." She reached for his hand as they waited for the ferry, that was now within swimming distance and slowing down.

They waited in a warm silence for the ferry to approach.

"Is wood carving common in Berk?" interrupted Astrid.

"No," his brow furrowed as he thought. "Not common, but traditional. My father taught me, when I was younger."

Astrid hummed.

"Why do you ask?"

Her free hand came up to grasp the shape of the locket over her chest. "My father made me a wooden bracelet. It had shapes like these carved. I've never asked mom what they said."

He perked up. "Do you have a picture? Maybe I can read them to you. My dad had me study Berkian runes with a tutor."

She shook her head, and let go of the locket, sighing as it fell away from sight. "I lost it. After he died, and we moved to Upper East Side from Jersey, it just went somewhere."

"That's a shame. I'm sorry, Astrid." he said lowly.

Astrid let her head fall on his thin arm, shrugging. "It's been a while."

"Still."

Astrid hummed again, enjoying the comfort of his body next to hers.

"Are you still cold?"

She shook her head, her cap ending up a bit askew, but she didn't mind.

Once the ferry finally docked, Astrid was almost jumping up and down, giddy like he'd never seen her, squeezing his hand with a wide smile on her face.

A group of French tourists exited the dock first, chattering away, a mother perhaps urging her small children to be watchful of where they stepped. Some other tourists were next, and then, as Astrid seemed almost at point of boiling with excitement, a black-haired girl started her way off the bridge between the ferry and the dock, a small suitcase behind her, and large sunglasses obscuring her face. She looked around in confusion.

Astrid raised her hand, waving her arm furiously, but not making any sound.

Heather eventually saw her, a mad grin stretching on her face, pants-covered legs striding in their direction.

Astrid squeezed his hand one more time before rushing to meet Heather half way into a hug.

He watched Astrid grip Heather in a bear hug, separate from Heather to laugh, and then grabbing her again.

They talked for a bit, and then they turned to look at him, and he gave a nervous little wave.

Astrid and Heather hugged again and approached Hiccup.

"The famous Hiccup, I suppose?" Heather swept back her long, black hair behind her back, raising her shades and extending her right hand to Hiccup. "Heather Osvaldson."

"Depends. Famous for what? I'll only take credit for the good parts," he joked, taking her hand and shaking it. "Henrik Haddock at your service."

Astrid seemed torn but grabbed his hand anyway. "Okay. Should we go?"

Heather threw her a shrewd look, but the three made their way up the stairs until they were on the top.

"If I didn't do so much cardio," complained Heather, "I would be panting by now. Whose bright idea was it to build things like this?"

Astrid and Hiccup sniggered, "here," said Hiccup extending his hand for Heather's suitcase.

"Thanks," sighed Heather. "Why is it so cold in here?" she said to Astrid. "It's the middle of summer!"

Astrid didn't answer, but she shot a triumphant look at Hiccup.

He shrugged, opening the trunk and stuffing the suitcase inside and closing it.

"You go in the front, Heath," said Astrid pushing her to the other side of the car. "But it's on this side."

"Crap. I'd forgotten you drive on the left here. Too many years in America."

"Yeah, shocked me, too, at first."

The three all got on, Heather letting out a curse when she noticed Toothless in the backseat.

Hiccup drove them to Sigrid's, answering Heather's probing questions about his family, his opinions about celebrities, and she only stopped when Astrid sent her a warning look.

Heather raised her innocent emerald-green gaze in fake ignorance.

When they arrived at Sigrid's, Heather climbed off with a pointed look at Astrid, and a 'thanks!' to Hiccup.

Astrid thanked her silently, before turning to Hiccup. "When did you get so charming?"

"What?"

"Earlier, when I introduced you to Heather"

"Oh, that? I was just being polite?"

"Don't get me wrong," she was quick to defend, "I love it. You just haven't been like that with me, ever. I never would have typed you as a charmer."

He laughed, "well, your friend doesn't intimidate me,"

She frowned, "why not?"

Hiccup smiled at her taking offense at her friend being called 'not intimidating'. "To be fair, I was too nervous around you."

This pleased her, maybe too much.

Heather rapped on the window, and Toothless shoved his head next to Astrid, wanting to participate in the huddle.

Once Heather's suitcase was safely with her and a promise had been made by Hiccup of coming to pick them up for a tour of the Isle on horseback after lunch, Astrid had given Hiccup a long kiss that had earned them Heather clearing her throat pointedly, and given Toothless a loving pat, Hiccup drove off, back to the ranch.

She lowered her hand and turned, to find Heather giving her a sapient smile.

"What?"

But Heather shook her head, finishing with a grimace. "It's… let's just go inside?"

Astrid led Heather inside the house, using her key.

"Where's your aunt?"

Astrid looked around but couldn't find Sigrid anywhere. On the counter there was a note addressed to Astrid.

 _'Scrawny:_

 _I had to go visit a friend. Also, you and I are having a talk about your sneaking out. And about being safe._

 _Please do make my apologies for your friend. I'll be back for dinner._

 _Love-_

 _Sigrid.'_

"Oh, she'll be here for dinner," said Astrid to Heather, fighting the embarrassed flush on her skin.

Heather tried to look around Astrid's shoulder, but Astrid folded the note and put it away, not noticing Heather's frowning, and guided her upstairs.

"Here's my bedroom. You're staying with me, because the other only room was my cousin's."

"Oh," frowned Heather, "right."

"Yeah."

Heather took in all the little details of the room. Some sort of hairpin on the side-table, Astrid's suitcase lying neatly next to a small desk, a strip of pictures, a laptop Heather didn't recognize, and Astrid's absent-minded smile as she admired her necklace, that Heather _also_ didn't recognize.

"Oh, shit," said Astrid, slapping her forehead.

"What?"

"I forgot my duffel bag at Hiccup's."

"Alright." Said Heather, jumping on the bed and patting the space next to her. "We've got to talk."

Astrid gave her a flat stare but followed the command nonetheless. "What?"

Heather breathed in and out. "Right. How can I say this… Astrid? Love. You're being stupid."

Astrid's blonde braid swung with the strength of her recoiling, giving Heather a confused glare. "Excuse me?"

"Look. You look really happy. The happiest I've ever seen you, really, and I'm glad, but…" Heather sighed again, "look, love. I think you really need to think about the future."

Astrid's heartbeat got caught up, "the future?"

"I like your-whatever he is of you- I like him. But can you imagine him going walking with you on the red carpet? Going to parties, and clubs, and fancy dinner parties?"

Astrid scowled, "he's gonna look fantastic."

Heather raised a skeptical brow. "And you'll fly him out every single time?"

"If I have to."

"For how long, Astrid?"

Astrid bit her lower lip, and brought out the wooden locket, to show Heather. "Hiccup made this for me, with his own hands."

"That is lovely, and very sweet," admitted Heather, her hands folded delicately over her lap, green eyes surveying the locket. Green eyes suddenly looking at Astrid. "-but it's not very fashionable, is it?"

The locket fell under her shirt again, safe from Heather. "What are you trying to say, Heath?"

"I just… I don't want to see you get hurt. I think it'd be best if you nipped this in the bud, before you actually fall for him."

Astrid huffed. Why was her heart so swollen?

Heather's hand settled on Astrid's shoulder. "Look, love. You know him best. You know what your life is like. Is dating you something he can handle?"

Astrid's hand went to fiddle with her locket. Then she changed the conversation to her new role, grabbing Hiccup's laptop and scooting to sit next to Heather.

"Here," she said, opening the laptop, but blushed when her picture from the lake was the wallpaper. She cleared her throat, opening the file of the script and ignoring Heather's curious look.

"They start filming at the end of September, and it's in New York so no sudden moves yet."

Heather, started reading, humming here and there, saying brief sentences and nodding at times.

At the end of the first scene she paused. "Well, it's not _bad."_

"I know, right!" said Astrid, taking the laptop from Heather's lap and scrolling down, trying to find a scene.

It occurred to Heather that she'd never seen Astrid this excited. She smiled fondly at her friend.

"This place. It's really done you wonders."

Astrid grimaced, gaze still fixed on the screen, "I know." Her hand paused over the keyboard. "I'm really going to miss all of it.

Heather leaned against Astrid's shoulder, "what's your mum got to say about this?"

"She doesn't know. I haven't talked to her since a few days after I got here."

Heather hummed. "Will you tell her?"

'About what? About Berk? About Sigrid? About the part Erik had gotten her? Or about Hiccup?'

"I don't know."

While Heather took a nap, Astrid attempted to fix lunch. She managed sandwiches and carton orange juice that Heather and her happily gulped down and waited for Hiccup to show, talking about everything and nothing, like the fact that Heather's musical would go on a USA tour, and how Erik and Mallory had already broken up, and quite publicly.

From Heather's brother, a wannabe rapper, to Hiccup, Cami, the Thorston twins, Eret, and the rest of the people Astrid had made friends with.

"And then there's Fishlegs, who is a huge fan of yours, by the way."

"Really?" said Heather, elbow on the dinner table.

"Yeah, but don't worry, he'll only be weird for the first half-an-hour…"

Astrid continued on with her description, and while Heather wanted to be happy for her friend; desperately wanted to, she couldn't help but think of what would happen once she had to go back to New York.

Friends like these; real friends… there was a reason they were hard to find in the lives they carried.


	21. Welcome home, Son

**WARNING: for explicit sexual content**

* * *

 **Chapter 21 - Welcome Home, Son** by **Radical Face**

 _All my nightmares escaped my head  
Bar the door, please don't let them in  
You were never supposed to leave  
Now my head's splitting at the seams_

Sometimes, he wished he could be a mind-reader.

He wished he could hear Astrid's thoughts as she stared out the window of Helga's into the streets of downtown Berk.

They'd come here for a lunch date-thing, which they had spent mostly in comfortable silence.

How had he gotten so lucky?

He loved it all.

From the soft slope of her nose to the way her blue eyes shone in the daylight. Each individual freckle and strand of hair in her brow. The slight smile line she got when the corner of her lips upturned. Her fingertips curling on her mug because she was crazy enough to have coffee at lunchtime in summer.

The way the sun shone on her blonde hair, and the spark in her.

He loved all of her.

"Babe?" said Astrid, eyes still on the window as she set her mug down.

"Yes?"

"You're staring," she said, pretending to be annoyed, but there was a mischievous turn to the corner of her lips.

"Oh." He cleared his throat, "Well, it's your fault."

One of her eyebrows cocked up as she smirked, "my fault?"

"Yes. You…" He gestured in her general direction. "You were over there, and the sun…" he trailed off, his face heating and his vocal cords drying as he attempted a chuckle.

"Oh, I know what you think about the sun," she said with a wink.

He frowned, "you do?"

"Yeah," she boasted, "you think I'm pretty, and when the sun is on me my hair is like… I don't remember the exact wording, but you said it was verynice." She paused to gulp down some coffee, "Gold!" she almost jumped, "you said it looked like gold! Wow, you're cheesy!"

Hiccup tried to ignore the way his face heated up, "you did say you like cheese sticks."

"I do," she admitted, finishing her coffee and setting her mug down. "Here," she said, offering her palm.

His brows furrowed, and he extended a hand over the table to inspect her hand, yelping and then laughing when her hand shot up to grab his.

"Gotcha," she winked at him, a wide smile spreading through her face as their hands settled, linked together over the diner's table.

Hiccup smiled, running a loving thumb over her knuckles.

There was a shadow crossing over Astrid's blue eyes, and it defused her smile into something tight.

Astrid had been like this since her friend Heather had come to visit her.

Maybe bad news from New York she hadn't shared yet?

Ah… there it was.

His own touchy subject.

The fact that she'd go home in a week was the dark cloud looming above his blue sky.

And the truth was;

They hadn't really talked about the future.

What would Astrid do with him? She had such an exciting life just waiting for her back in the United States.

How long would it be before she forgot about him?

He let go of her hand, pretending to want to show her something from his phone.

The door's bell jingling distracted them both, Astrid shutting her jaw closed from whatever she was about to say, and Hiccup had to push back his glasses (He'd lost one of his contacts a few days prior and was waiting on the replacements,) so he could clearly see Finn Hofferson entering Helga's and walking towards them.

"Have you seen Sig?" he said to them both.

Hiccup shook his head, but Astrid frowned, "not since you both left in the morning. Why?"

Finn paled, which was a strange look on his normally stoic face, "I drove her to the ranch," he turned to Hiccup, "which is why I thought you'd seen her there."

"I've… I'm actually making arrangements to bring at least Natt Fury to the house. Permanently. I haven't been over there as often."

There was a brief questioning look on Finn and Astrid's face, but Finn shook his head, frowning, "regardless, we'd agreed on me picking her up for lunch at the door, but she wasn't there. Her horse was gone too. Hiccup. If you know where she could be…" he pleaded.

Astrid started to put their things away, taking some bills from Hiccup's wallet and setting them on the table, as Hiccup thought hard, biting his lip.

"Well?" urged Finn.

"I… maybe…" Hiccup hesitated before shaking his head. Finn sighed in disappointment. Hiccup groaned, his hands that were covering up his face went to grip at his hair.

"Did you check the house?" said Astrid, shouldering Hiccup's leather satchel.

Finn sighed, "obviously," he said but sent a regretful look in Astrid's direction when he saw her frown.

Hiccup burst, "I know!"

Finn grabbed both by the sleeve, Astrid hiding her face and Hiccup smiling tightly at the other customers as Finn dragged them into his van.

The van wobbled as they settled, Finn firm behind the steering wheel. "Where to, Hiccup?"

Hiccup hesitated in the front seat, "I could be wrong… but… Sigrid has been feeling down since we visited Frieda, I thought…"

Astrid gasped, "the gravels… place!"

The only response from Finn was the gear lever jerking into action, and Finn's van's tires screeching.

Their trip to Berk's Gravelskammer was silent, except for Finn's murmuring as he thought, and Hiccup's loaded look to Astrid through the rearview mirror.

Icy rain had started to fall as they pulled up in the parking lot. Finn shut the car off as they got to the front and started unbuckling his seatbelt, and he jumped out.

Astrid made to do the same, but Hiccup shot a hand back, blocking her path.

"Wait," he begged as Astrid tried for the other side, "if Sigrid's there, we will only be in the way, but I don't think she is; I don't see Stormchaser anywhere," he advised as he looked around.

Astrid settled back, realizing then how fast her heart had been beating.

"You alright?" said Hiccup, twisting back as Astrid grabbed his hand and squeezed.

She nodded, but her answer was cut off by what she saw.

"He's coming back!"

Hiccup turned back as best as he could and frowned as Finn stormed his way back through the rain, getting on his van and slamming the door behind him, fists grabbing on to the steering wheel.

"She's not in there," he said to them.

"Love, what har you mit?" he lamented to himself.

"Guys," started Astrid, "aren't we overreacting? Maybe she forgot and went somewhere else for lunch?" offered Astrid.

Finn leaned his forehead on the steering wheel, thinking.

Hiccup shook his head, "Sigrid never forgets appointments or duties. There's only another place she can be," he assured Astrid, "but I'm not sure… Mr. Hofferson…" he looked at Astrid's uncle. Frieda's father. "Finn… are you up to it?"

Finn trembled, shaking his head, but still starting the car.

"Where are we going?" asked Astrid to Hiccup, leaning towards his seat as he arranged the front heating vents, so the warm air would hit Finn.

"You've been there before," he murmured back, "Frieda's field."

Her mouth went dry. Her hands eased their clutch on Hiccup's seat, and she leaned back.

The rain was gone as quickly as it came, a cold taste of summer rain.

The van lurched when Finn hit on the brakes, staring ahead in silence.

In the distant green, a blonde woman was laying in the middle of the field.

"Finn…" begged Hiccup with a whisper, but Finn's grip only tightened over the steering wheel.

Astrid reacted first, but by the time she was off the van, Hiccup was already running ahead of her.

Heart beating at his throat, Hiccup rushed at the slumped form of Sigrid, until his left leg gave out when his prosthesis-aided limb slipped on the wet grass and he was down. Instants later, Astrid was there, picking him up, mumbling his name and they tried to run together, him slightly limping until they reached Sigrid.

"Auntie!" cried Astrid and went to kneel by her. Shaking Sigrid's shoulder and getting no response, Astrid shouted back at Hiccup who had stood back, heart hammering in his throat. "She's cold!"

As much as he wanted to be by Sigrid, he found he couldn't move.

"Hiccup! She's cold!"

His voice tore from his throat, "Sigrid!"

He ran to her and saw what Astrid meant. Sigrid's lips were purplish but putting his fingers under her nose he felt Sigrid's warm breath on his skin. He had to look up at Astrid, finding her blue eyes wide and as terrified as his must be.

"She's breathing. She's cold."

Astrid wasted no time taking off her jumper, shivering as the cold mountain wind went through her cotton tank top. Hiccup thought she had the right idea, unshouldering his jacket and placing it over Sigrid's body as Astrid had with her jumper.

They both tried to wake Sigrid and managed a couple of grunts from her before her eyes started to blink awake.

"Sig!" shouted Finn, running towards them. Hiccup went to sit by Astrid, who was whispering at her aunt.

Finn landed on his knees where Hiccup was, and took Sigrid's hand, feeling it, then feeling her pulse, then grabbing her face, directing Hiccup and Astrid to help him move Sigrid towards the van, with her feverish limping steps and solemn silence.

He didn't start shouting until the van was driving. "Of all things! Sigrid!"

Hiccup cringed in the back, Sigrid's face over his lap as Astrid held her aunt's feet.

Sigrid didn't respond to Finn, instead focusing on Hiccup. "I knew you were up there a lot," she whispered, "but I didn't know you'd add more stones."

He threw a careful glance at Finn before answering, "One for each year, you said. But you only added the first."

"It was too hard," said Sigrid's trembling voice. "She would have been eighteen."

Astrid's arms tightened around Sigrid's feet.

Finn drove faster.

"I loved her so much," continued Sigrid, as new tears pooled in the corner of her eyes and leaked down her face. "I love her so much."

"I know you miss her," said Hiccup, gently. "We all-"

"Today," interrupted Sigrid, "I had to look at her pictures. I'd forgotten," she choked up. "I'd forgotten. She was so clever. So brave." She couldn't say more, little gasping sobs tearing from her.

Hiccup held her tighter, Sigrid crying out as the van jumped from a pothole. "Uncle Finn!" reprimanded Astrid.

"What?! What is it?" grunted Finn as the van skidded on a curve of the wet road.

"Uncle Finn!"

The van lurched into a stop in a straight road a while after the curve, Finn punching the steering wheel and climbing off the van, slamming the door, and walking off into the forest.

Hiccup threw Astrid a look, and she quickly took over soothing Sigrid, who was still crying and mumbling apologies.

He lifted Sigrid's head and set it down gently, going after Finn.

His feet crunched the wet foliage under them as he advanced into the forest, following the sound of Finn's grunts.

He had to duck under a thrown branch before Finn realized who he'd almost gotten.

"Sorry," said the older man, resorting to pacing with hands crossed.

"Everything alright?"

Finn threw his hands up, scoffing, "alright?! Hiccup! It's not-!" He sighed, pinching his nose.

Hiccup schooled himself with a shaky breath. "Sigrid needs your help."

"Oh, she needs my help!" cried Finn, "I wonder if she'll ever fucking take it."

"I don't… I don't know what to say…"

"It's been ten years…!" shouted Finn. "I… I don't know how to help," he admitted to himself. And to Hiccup.

Finn did a double take at Hiccup's helplessness and rubbed the frustration off his face with a loud grunt. "I'm sorry," he said finally. "We should get back," he said and started off out of the woods, a very confused but resigned Hiccup following.

They stopped at the van, Finn begging Hiccup to help him with a look.

Hiccup nodded and stepped towards the driver's side.

"She fell asleep," Astrid informed them as Hiccup shifted the gear lever into the first and started the van on a march, and Finn cradled Sigrid gently in his lap.

At the hospital, they had to carry Sigrid in, and as the doctors examined her and her intake was completed Hiccup joked to Astrid that she had been twice in Berk's hospital than she'd ever been in a hospital back in New York.

She smiled at him in appreciation, squeezing his hand, but said nothing, waiting for Finn to come back with news as they sat in the waiting area.

Astrid ended up dozing off as she laid her hand on Hiccup and he curled an arm around her shoulders.

Slurry voices brought her back.

"Tomorrow I'd like for you to search for the horse," said Finn, as Astrid wiggled to stretch.

"Oh, good morning, Milady," murmured Hiccup as she straightened and rubbed the sleepiness from her eyes.

Finn was giving her a soft, tired smile.

"Where's Sigrid?"

"She's being taken to the psychiatry ward," said Finn, his smile vanishing.

"The psych ward?!"

Finn nodded. The waiting room's lights were harsh on them all, cut off from the daylight.

"But… but why?"

He opened his mouth to answer, but Hiccup cut in. "It's Stormchaser."

Astrid turned to him, "the horse?"

"Yeah. We don't know what happened to her, but Sigrid hadn't ridden her since…" Hiccup shared a look with Finn, then turned back to Astrid. "Right. It's just Stormchaser hadn't been ridden since she threw me and Frieda off her back," he took a shivering breath, feeling comforted by Astrid's hand on his knee.

"For some reason," continued Finn, "Sigrid took Stormchaser and rode her -for the first time in ten years, might I add- up the mountain, and now the horse is missing, and my wife has terrible bruises. She must have gotten them when she fell off."

"Something happened up there," said Hiccup, "but what exactly? And," he shivered, "how much of it was intentional?"

"Can't we just ask her?"

Finn shook his head, his arms crossed, "she will be evaluated by a doctor first, so she's in isolation."

She sighed, "so what now?"

"I take you home," said Hiccup standing up and offering his hand. As Astrid took it, he gave Finn a querying look.

"You both go. You can drive the van downtown. I'll pick it up later," said Finn, placing the keys in Hiccup's hands.

Astrid hugged Finn before taking Hiccup's hand and walking off.

They drove down and switched cars methodically, and the drive to the Hoffersons' property was eerily silent.

When they arrived, he killed the engine and wordlessly got off the car and went around, opening the jeep's door for her.

His steps were constantly behind her, like a reassuring ghost, and she opened the door to Sigrid's house and left it open behind her for him to follow.

But he didn't follow her as she took the first steps upstairs. Instead, Hiccup waited by the foot of the stairs, a question in his nervous green eyes.

Astrid extended her hand, and he took her invitation, joining her before she continued, now with his hand secure in hers.

Hiccup paused again as they reached her bedroom, but she pulled and then he was walking again beside her.

It was all silence between them as she sat him in his bed and grabbed her robe and her towel and kissed him a whispered 'wait here'.

As she showered, she was thinking of Sigrid back in the hospital, and her sobbing, and how time was running out for her and for them all.

For her and Hiccup.

How even when everything seemed fine it could be turned upside down at any moment.

How everything precious could be lost in the blink of an eye if you took it enough for granted.

With her forehead against the tiled wall, she cried.

First, as her eyes burned, she had to blink, and blink, and then she realized she was crying.

That's when the little gasps turned into quiet sobs as she let the hot water hit her back and her hand curl into a fist and then splayed over the shower stall's wall.

Still, not a word said, Astrid finished her shower and donned her robe and pajamas after wringing her hair out like her mother's stylist had taught her, ignoring the cold tiles of the bathroom floor as she changed.

Hiccup had followed her instruction, sitting on the bed with his hands on his face, and shoulders slumped.

"Hey," she whispered, confident he'd hear her from the doorframe.

He straightened, standing up. "I should go," he mumbled as he approached her, kissing her on the cheek.

"Don't," she pleaded, grabbing on his jacket sleeve, and then locking her arms around his waist.

Hiccup sighed, returning her hug. "You know, Mr. Hofferson might kill me if he finds me here."

"But he's not going to, right?" she looked up at him. "He'll be at the hospital all day."

He breathed out, a corner of his lips lifting. "Alright."

Soon, they were both under the covers, Hiccup having taken off his jeans, jacket and leg.

Her fingertips were cold on his neck as she snuggled closer.

"Goodnight, Astrid," he said to her, leaning forward to press his lips against her forehead.

Astrid caught his lips on his way back, "goodnight," she said, her nose hiding in the crook of his neck.

She sighed, the texture of his skin so comforting under the slight brush of her lips.

When she went back to New York, she wouldn't have this.

His arms around her.

His heartbeat in her ear.

"Hiccup," she tried after a while.

And was proven right, "yeah?" he said, clearly not asleep.

Astrid opened her eyes, glad to find his green eyes staring at her in the moonlight.

She couldn't resist it, tilting her face up, pressing her lips against his, fingertips clutching at his t-shirt.

He followed her lead, his arm around her bringing her closer as she tilted her head, her tongue testing him as he opened his mouth to let her in with a moan.

She rolled his tongue over hers, then pulled back, pulling on his lower lip with a gentle bite.

They paused, her hand cradling his jaw as they breathed each other's air. Eyes closed and warm cheeks.

Goosebumps erupted over his skin when she twisted them around, brushing her lips over his neck, earning her little gasps from his lips when one of those kisses was open mouthed, and she sucked on the skin over his racing pulse.

Her hand went from his shoulder, down his torso, pausing at his navel.

She didn't want to stop, but did he?

Astrid looked down to him, flushed cheeks and bobbing Adam's apple as he swallowed, searing green looking back at her, and the squeeze of his hand over her waist stopped her hesitation, rucking his t-shirt up and off him, pressing open mouthed kisses over his uncovering lithe chest, teasing his skin, breathing steam.

Throwing the t-shirt off somewhere, she was left sitting over him, his big hands resting on her thighs, his thumbs where her legs met her hips.

She kissed him again, straightening to unbutton her pajama top, not ignoring the way his hungry gaze followed her fingertips over each button, sighing when her top was off, his hands reaching up eagerly when she leaned on him, resting on her ribcage, relishing her pleased shiver when he ran his thumb over her breast.

He leaned up to press a kiss on her collarbone, sucking on her skin. The hand that wasn't holding him up massaging her breast, the thumb rubbing circles around her nipple, and she quivered above him, her center grinding on him and his head thrown back with a groan.

It was a terrible effort, but he stopped her, scooting back to sit up, Leaving Astrid in front of him.

"Why did you stop?"

"It's… Before we do… this, I had to know. I'm sorry. I just had to know."

"Know what?"

He paused, wondering if this would be the moment it'd all end. He breathed in some courage.

"I love you," he said, "I do. I think I've made it pretty clear before..." he added at her blank look.

Astrid blinked. He shuffled awkwardly, before he started shifting towards the edge of the bed.

"Gods, I… never mind that. I'll just… You don't have to say anything," he stammered, reaching for his leg. "I'm so sorry. I'll just-"

"Wait," she said, arms around his shoulders, her chest pressed against his back. "Wait."

His hands froze over his prosthesis.

"I love you," she whispered at his ear. "I love you, too."

"You do?" he asked, not daring to look at her.

"I do. I love you," she repeated. "I don't want you to go."

"Really?"

She chuckled, "yes, you dork. How many times do I have to say it?"

"One more?" he joked.

Astrid pressed her lips to his neck, lingering. "I'll just show you," she said, kissing his lips again.


	22. Hard Feelings

I hope everyone's having a happy new year so far! Here's some angst, I hope you like it!

* * *

 **Chapter 22 - Hard Feelings** by **Lorde**

 _God, I wish I believed ya_

 _When you told me this was my home_

* * *

As the morning sun shone velvet on her, Hiccup wondered if he'd ever get tired of waking up to the feel of her naked back against his chest.

He grabbed the comforter and brought it over them. He'd found she had no problem at all looking at him naked, and she'd already known her undressing wasn't inconvenient for him, so really, he was only covering them because she insisted it was cold.

In summer.

In Berk.

Hiccup had laughed at the idea of Berk being cold in summer.

Even if it was already ending, these were the warmest days of the year for him.

And with summer ending, it meant she would be going back soon.

In a days-time sort of soon.

Tomorrow sort of soon.

Too soon.

She'd said she loved him…

He burrowed himself closer to her, rumbling a toasty hum and leaving a kiss on her shoulder as she let out a happy sigh.

Toothless gave a little whine, his head resting on the mattress.

Hiccup sighed, "I'm sorry, bud," he whispered. "I'll get up in a minute."

Burrowing closer to her, he was already dreading her leaving the next morning.

She'd said she loved him, but when she went back, they'd be separated by an ocean, a time zone, and schedules. Could they really make it work?

More importantly: how could they make it work?

And even more importantly: did she want to make it work?

The dog whined again, and Hiccup had no choice but scooting away from Astrid's body, kissing her cheek before he left to get somewhat dressed and fully limbed.

Leaving his room with Astrid naked in his bed was more difficult than he'd ever thought it'd be, but he had a hungry furry monster to feed.

He laughed, serving the dog food, Toothless impatiently sniffing at the dish and accidentally pushing Hiccup to start eating.

He gave his furry friend a loving smile and a pat on his back, getting an absentminded wag as a response, Toothless scarfing down the food as soon as it touched his plate.

"Morning," said a voice, making him jump.

His father's vocal cords had a strength that made his whispers a tornado.

"D-dad," he stuttered, startled, "hi, dad."

Stoick stood in the doorway.

"You're wearing pajamas," said Hiccup.

Stoick cleared his throat, "right. Your clothes are inside out."

Hiccup laughed weakly, "right, you know… new trends, and all that…"

"Sure," he nodded skeptically, "sure. That has nothing to do with the girl upstairs. And what's her name again? Winfred? Helga?-"

"Astrid," he cut his father off, "her name is Astrid."

"Astrid," repeated Stoick, tasting the name, "right. I'm sorry," he chuckled, "how would I know? with all the girls you bring here," he teased.

Hiccup gave him a flat stare, "right. _All_ the girls. _So_ many girls. At least thirty-five. That you _know_ of."

"Well, Alina Olafsson seemed pretty taken with you," Stoick raised a teasing brow.

He sighed, " _oh._ You noticed that. We're just friends. And I'm with Astrid."

"Right." Stoick's playful demeanor vanished, "Son, I'm worried about that. When is this girl leaving again?"

"Tomorrow." Shifting uncomfortably, Hiccup reached down to pat on Toothless' neck, the pressure of the dog's body comforting him, trying his best to remain unaffected by his father's heavy stare.

Stoick stared at him before nodding away the moment as it'd never happened.

A scratch on the door leading to the deck interrupted them, and Hiccup went to open the door so Toothless could go outside, leaving it so the dog could come back.

Finding his father was not as difficult as he thought it'd be since Stoick had only moved the short way from his bedroom door to the kitchen.

Hiccup sat in his favorite stool as his father prepared some breakfast for himself.

Upstairs, Astrid was finishing a stretch, already having deduced where Hiccup was by his and Toothless' absence.

Dressing in her familiar jeans and a jumper. Cursing at the lack of mirrors in Hiccup's room, she had to do her braid using the small mirror above the sink.

The stairs creaked a little as she started to go down the familiar path to the kitchen, having become a connoisseur of the layout during the last couple of months.

Stoick and Hiccup's voices reached her as soon as her feet touched the first step.

"But she doesn't know yet." That was Hiccup. Astrid froze in place.

"And you were planning to tell her when?" If she remembered right, that was the voice of his father, Stoick.

"Just before she goes?" said Hiccup sheepishly.

There was a grumble. Astrid descended a couple of steps.

"And were you planning on telling me?"

She could see the top of Hiccup's auburn hair now; he was sitting on the stool of the kitchen.

Hiccup was not answering.

"And what is that thing you're building outside? Well? Aren't you going to tell me anything?"

 _Shit._ His words weren't harsh, but the man had such a strong voice, Astrid was sure he could be praying and people around him would try and appease him.

Hiccup turned away, a stubborn stiffness to his jaw, green eyes catching Astrid sitting on the stairway and widening. "Astrid!" he said, raising from his seat.

"Hey, Babe." Caught, she had to amble into the kitchen, her hand seeking Hiccup's, making him sit and then sitting next to him, the kiss in his cheek was almost a natural reflex. "Hi, Sir," she said to Stoick.

"Young lady," said Stoick nodding in greeting.

Astrid swallowed but raised her chin in a polite nod.

Stoick moved to remove his eggs from the pan as they slightly overdone smell started wavering towards burnt.

She took the opportunity to check on Hiccup. "Babe?" she whispered.

"Hey," he let out through a tight smile. "Sleep well?"

Astrid delighted in the blush on his cheeks when she winked at him.

"Aren't you lot having breakfast?" said Stoick as he set down his plate and grabbing the last stool to sit in front of them.

"And steal some of your burnt eggs? We'd never," snarked Hiccup.

Stoick's brow wavered.

"We're spending some time with the rest of our friends before saying goodbye to my aunt at the hospital, sir," mediated Astrid, kicking Hiccup's leg as a message, then wincing when she felt the hard material of his left shin.

She glared at Hiccup as he gave her a ceding smile.

"Well, I heard from Finn she's recovering well. That's good." Stoick ignored his son's snark. He pointed at Astrid with his fork, "you. You're Ingrid's daughter, right?"

Astrid nodded.

"Ah. My Valka-Hiccup's mum here," said Stoick, also ignoring Hiccup's wince, "was a great friend of hers when she moved back here from Scotland."

"Really?!" Astrid turned to Hiccup, a wide smile on her face, "why didn't you tell me?"

Except he was as confused as she was. He shook his head, "I… I didn't know. Mum never mentions any friends."

There was a pitiful puppy-sad look in Stoick's face, "she doesn't?"

Hiccup shrugged. He was shifting like his blood was made of ants. "She tells me sometimes about what happens at work, but she never mentions anyone," he shrugged again, "I didn't know they were friends," he added, looking at Astrid.

Stoick's gaze was fixed on the window as Hiccup spoke. "I guess we don't talk about her a lot, huh?"

"I guess we don't," said Hiccup, and the conversation devolved into an awkward silence that Astrid didn't dare break.

After a while of Stoick eating in silence and Astrid playing a game of 'mimic the squeeze' with Hiccup's hand, the large man stood up, did his dishes silently, then addressed them before leaving the kitchen.

"It was nice to meet you," he said first to Astrid. "Hiccup says you go back tomorrow."

"Yes, sir."

Stoick nodded again. He had a great poker face, "unless you spend the night here," Astrid blushed, "It's likely I won't see you again. Have a safe trip," he continued, extending his hand.

Astrid shook it, "thank you."

"Think about what I said," he urged Hiccup. "I will be going to the main office and then to my office downtown. Take care."

Hiccup made a non-committal noise of agreement but sighed once his dad was not in the room.

"Sorry about that," he said quietly to her. "You don't want anything before we go?"

She shook her head.

Hiccup hugged Toothless goodbye and had to playfully shove him back, so he wouldn't come with them.

Helga's was plenty of lenient, but Hiccup didn't think that the hospital would be.

Once they reached the diner, Astrid was surprised to find a couple of their friends missing.

"Where is Cami?" she asked Ruff as they slid into their side of the booth, Eret scooting along with Fishlegs.

Ruff shrugged, "no idea. Said she would call you later."

"And Snotlout?" Hiccup asked Eret, but Eret could only shake his head.

"Dunno. Tuff, you heard anything?"

Tuffnut winced as he used his little finger to dig into his ear, then smeared the contents onto Fishleg's horrified self. "No idea, my good friend. I saw him at Dogsbreath's in the morning as me and the chicken jazzercised."

"Jazzercising is for idiots," mocked Ruffnut, pushing his brother.

"You're for idiots!" said Tuffnut, pushing back.

"Guys," said Astrid, smacking the table, "I'm leaving tomorrow, so can we please not get kicked out again today?"

The twins pushed each other one more time before settling down, Ruffnut throwing coquettish looks at Eret while Tuffnut pretended to vomit.

Fishlegs regretted being early and getting caught in the situation, while Eret pretended he couldn't hear the sauciness in Ruffnut's comments as they all chatted.

God. She was going to miss this.

She squeezed Hiccup's hand one more time, and when he looked at her he must have seen something because he smiled and kissed her.

Even when the rest of _their_ friends were jeering and mocking.

They had pancakes and waffles, which brought out the food critic in Fishleg's blood and they all had to listen to him speak about the consistency and fluffiness.

"You can really tell they didn't brown the butter. I always say brown the butter. Also, a touch of cinnamon would have been perfect!"

"Pal," said Eret, placing a comforting hand in Fishleg's shoulder, "it's just a pancake, man!"

Before they left, everyone lined up to hug Astrid at the door of the diner.

"I feel like I'm parading you around," joked Hiccup, "5 euros to even get a glimpse! We'll be rich in no time!"

She laughed awkwardly. Astrid was sure that coming from him, the joke was harmless.

It must be the paranoia of what she'd grown up with messing with her.

They passed the vet shop on their way to the hospital, Sven at the counter, and Astrid waved, hard.

"Do you want me to stop?"

"No. I already said goodbye," she said, the building disappearing from sight.

She'd gone the day before to say goodbye to the little dog she'd grown so attached to.

"I'm sorry," soothed Hiccup.

Astrid turned to the front, "it's okay."

"Okay." Hiccup did a double take. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah." Even though he'd said he would be checking in on the dog and try to find her a permanent home, she was still concerned.

Still, she'd written a note of reference for Sven to use if a family looked interested.

'She's sweet. She's a hoarder. She is brave. She's adventurous. She likes running out in the rain.'

Astrid hoped someone would keep her.

Her hand patting Hiccup's leg, they could only glance at each other with warmth.

Once they arrived at the hospital, they showed their ID's and soon they were being permitted into a sitting area, where Finn was already sitting at a table, in one of the armchairs around it.

They took a seat, waiting for a warden to bring Sigrid out.

Astrid leaned her head on Hiccup's shoulder, holding Finn's hand above the table.

Sigrid padded over to them, settling in one of the armchairs with the grace of a fairy. As well as their lack of material presence. They all straightened in their seats to receive her.

"Hello, darlings," she said, but she wouldn't look at them in the eye.

"Sig…"

"Hey, Love," said Finn.

"Auntie…"

Sigrid nodded. "Have you been eating well?"

"Auntie," interrupted Astrid, "I go back tomorrow."

"Oh…" Sigrid frowned, but it was so mildly done, Astrid wondered if Sigrid was actually awake. "That's no good. I'll miss you… Hiccup? Stormchaser?"

Hiccup didn't say anything, but shaking his head was all Sigrid needed to know about the faith of her mare.

Sigrid squeezed each of their hands. "I love you all. Thank you for coming. I want to sleep now."

That being said, she raised, hands folded under her crossed arms, and turned her back on them.

They all got their ID's back as they left the hospital.

"This is ridiculous," she said to Finn and Hiccup. A light drizzle of rain had started to fall. "Is she going to be alright?" she asked her uncle.

Finn looked at her for a moment before placing both hands on her shoulders. "Astrid. This? it's not on you," and for the first time in more than a month, he hugged her.

If his shirt was a little wet and she had to wipe her eyes as they separated, nobody mentioned it. Instead, she had Hiccup's smile to welcome her.

They parted ways at the entrance of the hospital, Hiccup, and Astrid waving Finn goodbye.

She still had her hand up when she yelped, a short someone colliding with her.

"Cami!" Hiccup reacted first, a happy smile that quickly erased when he saw the state of her.

Cami stared at them like a deer caught in headlights.

There was something dark and choking swirling in her blue eyes. Her crazy blond hair was pulled back in a ponytail, letting Astrid see Cami's completely bare face for the first time.

Shadows that she had attributed to willfully staying up late suddenly got their meaning.

"Cami?" prodded Astrid.

"Oh! Hi guys! I gotta go. I have… yeah. Bye."

Cami practically escaped them, rushing inside and into an elevator.

They shared a look.

"That was weird. Wasn't it?"

"Tell me about it." Astrid bit her lip, thinking. "I know there's no time today, but tomorrow, would you call her? See what's going on?"

Hiccup frowned as they started the way to his jeep. "I don't know if I can."

"Busy day tomorrow?"

He shrugged, "I think you could say that, since I'm traveling?"

"Damn! Travelling where?" she buckled herself.

"I'm visiting my mum!"

Astrid frowned as he started the car. "Where does she live again?"

"New York!"

"WHAT?!"

Hiccup shrugged, turning carefully to avoid a pothole, "I was thinking I could go to my mum's, search for a school?"

"Why hadn't you said anything?"

He shrugged again, frowning, "I don't know. Why? Should I not have done it?"

Astrid bit her lip, remembering what she'd overheard in the morning. "Is that why you and your dad were arguing today?"

"I didn't realize you'd heard that."

"I didn't _mean_ to," she protested. "But let's just quick recap. You're just gonna leave Sigrid like this? Cami? What about Snotlout?"

He sighed, "I don't know. This all hadn't happened when I booked the tickets."

 _How long had they been worrying about Cami?_ "So, you've been planning this for how long exactly? And you hadn't told anyone about it?"

Hiccup shifted in his seat, "wow, you sure sound excited that we can see each other again soon."

She frowned, "don't deflect. And it's not that I'm not excited. It's just… don't you think you're being selfish?"

He frowned, " _selfish_?! I've spent my _entire life_ living for other people. Wasn't it you who said that I had to _live my dream_ or whatever?"

"And it was _you_ who said you didn't want to be _just like your mother_!"

They drove in stony silence until Sigrid's house was in sight.

"It's not like you're totally innocent yourself, you know?"

"excuse me?"

The crunching of the gravel was abnormally loud in their silence as the jeep's wheels rolled to a stop.

Sighing, Hiccup covered his face. "We should talk about this later."

Astrid's frown deepened, "later, _when_? No. We're fixing this right now. You're not avoiding this, too."

He snapped. "Fine. Take the moral high ground if you want, but aren't you doing the same thing I am? You say you hate the games the famous play but you're still playing them! And don't say you're not, because you are," he added when Astrid started to protest, "we can ask Erik Cameron's faithful arse about it, if you'd like."

Astrid's jaw snapped shut, fiery hot rage coursing her veins. "You don't know what it's like," she spit out, "you have _no idea_ , because all your life you've been living in this perfect _fucking_ world."

"Then _fucking_ teach me! I don't get it, so teach me!"

She crossed her arms. Her teeth were starting to hurt from pressing her jaw shut.

Hiccup sighed after they were silent for a while. "I'm sorry," he said. "I suppose I'm scared. I'm afraid…" of many things. Of her realizing he was just a passable option. That his worth would diminish because she'd found him acceptable enough for Berk, but unfitting for her real life.

That she'd kidded herself into thinking she felt more for him than she thought she did, like Cami had.

Astrid had said nothing yet.

"Astrid," he started, but she interrupted.

"Go," she said, and started unbuckling her seatbelt. "You were right. We'll talk about it later. You have your key, right?"

"Yes."

Astrid nodded, gave him a peck, and got off the jeep, starting on a jog into the house.

The gravel path crunched again, and he was gone.

After packing, dinner, and her uncle had fallen asleep, she heard her bedroom's door creak open, Hiccup climbing into bed with her.

"Hey," he whispered.

Opening her eyes, she whispered back to him, "hey."

Relishing the feel of his rough fingertips over her cheek, she gave an airy sigh, "Hiccup?"

"You were right about earlier," he said. "It's not the best timing."

She gave him a short kiss. "We can work out something later. And for the record?"

"Hmm?"

Astrid sighed, "you were right, too."

His voice rumbled in his throat. "I'm sorry. I know why you did what you did."

"We can make it work, right?"

His arm swung over her waist, pulling her closer, and she let herself be comforted by the warmth of his body, and the feel of his skin on hers.

The next morning, they had to pretend to Finn that Hiccup had shown up incredibly early.

Unsure how much they'd made their lie stick, they were grateful there was not a lot of time to question it since they had to get Astrid to the docks, so she could get on the ferry to Shetland Isles, where she'd take her plane to Edinburgh, _where_ she'd take her plane back to New York.

Soon enough, Finn, Hiccup and Astrid were all waiting for the Shetland Isles ferry, sharing the docks with other tourists waiting for the 8:30 Bergen Ferry, like a Danish tourist couple, and an old lady from Florida and her granddaughter, who had recognized Astrid and asked for a picture, and the dock workers.

Seeing her ferry docking into place, people getting off with suitcases, a person with mail unloading it.

Astrid took a careful look and a cheerful wave of her young fan, and hugged Finn goodbye, giving him a strong squeeze, and a hinting look.

Finn chuckled turning and giving Astrid some privacy by blocking the sight of her and staring at the old lady and the granddaughter until they both felt intimidated and turned away.

Astrid curled her arms around his waist, taking in the comfort of being able to hold him for the last time until they were able to see each other again.

He held her like he'd die if he couldn't hold her, pressing his lips to her ear and, when they broke apart, to her lips.

In the distance, the warning horn sounded from the ferry, letting passengers know it was last call to get on.

Both Finn and Hiccup helped with her suitcase and her duffel bag.

Satisfied her things were safe, they turned to her one last time before getting off the bridge.

"You're welcome anytime, Astrid."

She thanked her uncle, then turned to Hiccup.

"Call me when you get home?"

Astrid nodded. She bit her lip, before jumping forward and kissing him again.

Just one more time.

Soon enough they were saying hurried "I love you's", and then getting off the bridge, and then the Isle of Berk started to grow smaller, smaller, until it had gone.

Stupid Hiccup.

How could she call when she got home?

She was _leaving_ home.


	23. Winter Bird

I'm so sorry it took me so long! I'm feeling a bit better now!

Also remember you can find me on tumblr as "alejandrathemexican" ! I post news about the fic there on the tag!

Also warning that there's a potentially homophobic slur at the end. Now I don't know where the consensus stands as to whether this word has been reclaimed or not, but you should still know it's there.

* * *

 **Chapter 23 - Winter Bird** by **Aurora**

 _My tears are always frozen_

 _I can see the air I breathe_

 _Got my fingers painting pictures_

 _On the glass in front of me_

 _Lay me by the frozen river_

 _Where the boats have passed me by_

 _All I need is to remember_

 _How it was to feel alive_

* * *

Her mother was acting weird. It had started when Ingrid had come to pick her up at the airport, overriding Astrid's plan of having Douglas, Heather's brother come get her.

Martha had been driving the car, of course, but her mother being there had been weird enough to make her uneasy.

Ingrid's positive attitude was what had made her suspicious.

Blathering on and on about Astrid's schedule, Ingrid was looking more and more like a complicated chemical solution to her. Just waiting for the right element to bubble up; explode in her face and burn her.

And even now, days after, the unease had continued, as Ingrid watched, and Martha wrote down the measurements the seamstress called out.

Astrid had already caught her mother's displeased scowl show through her piercing blue eyes, as the seamstress called larger amounts than usual.

New York Fashion Week was only in two days now, so there was no chance to lose weight, so there was little Ingrid could do to make Astrid thinner.

"Well, nothing we can do about it, two days away." Ingrid flashed her icy eyes towards Astrid as they walked to the car. "I told you to watch yourself, Astrid."

She bit her lip as an answer. She _had_ indulged a little on the food, excited as she was about not having anyone telling her what she had to eat every minute.

Ingrid sighed as they climbed into the car and Martha checked the agenda for the Salon's address. "You know I'm just looking out for you, right? You gotta keep in shape or they'll stop booking you for shows."

Astrid bit her lip. "Mom… I told you I don't want to be on the runway anymore."

"I know. I know," said Ingrid like she knew and didn't care. "I know, honey. I'm just looking out for you."

"No more walking. I want to be an actress."

Ingrid sighed, "it's like you learned nothing from your father. It's like you learned nothing from yourself. Remember that time you flopped?"

Astrid pretended she hadn't heard the dig and continued, "also, filming moved up for the series I'd told you about on the e-mail. We start at the end of September. I have a table reading next week."

Ingrid's nose scrunched up in distaste, "I know. It's with Erik, right? I still don't know what made you lose him, darling."

"I didn't lose him," she corrected, "but I don't mind. All we did was have sex and go out for the cameras, anyway."

"You-what?"

Astrid looked at her mother, who was reeling, with a tempered smile on her face.

"I don't get why you're surprised. You knew why we were together. You pushed for it, didn't you?" Astrid laughed, "oh! It's green, Martha. Go."

Martha threw her a 'I-definitely-shouldn't-be-here-right-now'-kind of look through the rearview mirror but pressed on the gas pedal.

"You weren't supposed to have sex with him," argued Ingrid, "I never said you had to do any of that."

She was all clenched jaws and gritting teeth. "How was I supposed to know that? We never talked about it. I had to ask whoever was your assistant at the time for condoms. I was _fifteen_."

Ingrid locked eyes with her until the heat of Astrid's glare was too much and she had to look out into the city.

"How was I supposed to know?"

"I tried to talk to you many times. You _never_ listened."

Ingrid scowled, but didn't answer.

Astrid sighed, burying her anger into her phone. _And she thought things had been going too well._

 _What a self-fucking-fulfilling prophecy._

New York City traffic was renowned for its miserable speed. Outside, throngs of people were walking about, getting to or from work. In Berk it would be about 2 pm.

Astrid wondered if Hiccup had had lunch yet.

They slowed to a stop in yet another traffic light.

She missed Sigrid's warm embrace and soothing smile.

She glanced at her mom. _Things had been going so well…_

Breathing in and out to settle her emotions, Astrid tried again.

"You're friends with my friend's mom."

Ingrid blinked, confused at being addressed by Astrid again. "What?"

"You- Do you have any friends here? From Berk? I was talking to someone, and they said that you're friends with their mom."

"Berkians in New York? Or in the United States?" Ingrid frowned, humming. "I can only think of Valka."

"That's her!" said Astrid, startling her mother, a fluttering feeling in her chest. "That's his mom!"

Ingrid looked at her like she'd spoken in rhyme and gave Astrid the first real laugh she'd gotten from her mom in years. "Astrid, but you already know her."

"I do?" She tried to think back to a time where her mom invited people over. To a time where her mom had real friends.

"You met her some months ago! But I suppose you would have met her as Valerie."

Her heartbeat stuttered to the beat of a record needle scratching the vinyl. "What?"

"Valerie Jorgenson. You had that disgraceful photoshoot with her before you threw your little temper tantrum and went to the arms of my sister."

Astrid's jaw shut the gap that had formed. Valerie Jorgenson was Hiccup's _mom_? But then she remembered what Ingrid had said about Sigrid. "Well, at least Sigrid loves me."

"Except she wasn't visiting you much, was she?"

Astrid's brow furrowed along with her scowl. How cruel could her mother get? She knew what Sigrid had been through. She'd always known.

It was like they were always in this competition to see who could get nastier, Astrid realized.

Poison vs poison, to see which brand, daughter or mother, was stronger.

Shamed, she could hardly look at her mother now, missing the cold regret washing over her features.

"I once was like Sigrid in every way," said Ingrid, sage-like. "People like her only lose things, Astrid. They end up poor and alone."

"She's richer than you'll ever be," Astrid spit out.

Ingrid scowled like she'd tasted something foul and snapped at Martha, "Jesus Christ! It's green, Martha! Fucking drive!"

"Yes, Ma'am," said Martha, pressing on the gas pedal with a grimace.

Astrid had always thought her mother's assistant was as cold as her mother was, but without her daughter there to bother, Astrid realized Ingrid must have taken it all out on her assistant instead.

Hiccup called her later when she was in the shower, and Astrid tried to call back, but he didn't answer.

What could he be doing? He'd left her a message.

 _'Building the barn isn't as fun without you. Who's to paint things the wrong way?'_

It made her smile. Cheeky little asshole.

 _'Dork. I love you,'_ she typed back.

Astrid was still smiling when Heather knocked on her door.

They hurried through greetings and concentrated on getting ready for their night out. Technically, they couldn't drink yet, Heather being 19 and she 18, but Astrid had gotten them invited to a party in a nightclub, so they would be allowed in.

The remixes of 2018's summer bops were thumping in Astrid's bloodstream, filling Astrid with something she couldn't categorize as either dread or anticipation as they crossed the door into the party, thrown by her friends to celebrate their status.

They were the LA crowd, having their little piece of California in New York. Astrid wouldn't be surprised if the door at the back of the club opened out into Malibu.

The lights were blinking enough to give an epileptic an attack, and people were laughing at jokes they couldn't even hear.

Trepidation. That was the word for what she was feeling. She was too out of practice. It was like she'd left for Berk as a person and come back as another.

Paradise-like images of Berk felt more real than the party that night.

Heather grabbed on her elbow, pulling her to the side and almost shouting in her ear.

"You okay, A?"

Astrid nodded, biting her lip, before adding a shouted 'yes'.

"We can go if you like!" shouted Heather through the bass.

This is what she loved about Heather. Sometimes she could read Astrid better than she could herself. She squeezed Heather's hand on her elbow, grabbing it and pulling her along.

There was a shriek before a figure jumped in front of her, clinging to her forearms. At first unrecognizable because of the blinking lights, Mallory Schultz' strawberry blonde hair made Astrid realize who she was pretending to listen.

Astrid let go like she was touching fire. She turned to Heather, whose arms were crossed.

Mallory seemed to get the unfriendly vibe, because she let go of Astrid, nodding with her head at a man going through the crowd, taking pictures.

Astrid sneered at her former friend, walking away with Heather's hand on her, and moving towards the end of the venue, where the bar sat.

She slumped on a stool, the bass still thumping at her heart, ignoring Heather's compassionate look and ordering a drink from the busy looking bartender.

"What?" she grunted at Heather's urgent slap on her arm.

"Astrid!"

Astrid straightened, trying her best to smile. "Ella!"

Ella Madden was a rich daddy's girl who hadn't yet made it into the public eye, so she was happy enough to ride Astrid's coattails.

And Astrid was happy enough to let her. She pressed her cheek to Ella's twice, making a smacking noise.

Being her only real friend, Heather inevitably disliked Ella, only giving the girl a tight smile and a nod.

"- glad you're back, - missed you so much!" cried Ella in Astrid's ear, some parts only audible when the music gave everyone a small break. "We are - to fashion week, right?"

Astrid cringed. She'd forgotten about that. "Sorry! So busy this summer, I forgot!"

Ella grimaced, patting Astrid's shoulder. "So sad! You and Erik! Totally get – . My gosh! I see Mikaela!" she started to wave to a girl far away. "Toodles!" she shouted at Astrid, Heather rolling her eyes, and Astrid knew exactly what Heather would say if she could hear her.

Without waiting for her drink, Astrid dropped some bills, and started to shout at Heather.

"Wanna go?"

Heather's response was grabbing her clutch and drag her out of the club.

Once outside, the paparazzi swooped on them with their vulture-like questions.

 _'Astrid, Astrid where were you this past summer!'_

 _'Is it true you cheated on Erik?'_

 _'Your best friend stealing your boyfriend doesn't make you angry?'_

 _'Isn't she a bitch?'_

 _'Looking kind of chunky!'_

 _'You guys friends now?'_

Astrid grabbed Heather's keys as security pushed the photographers away, and together they drove off.

"Sorry I dragged you out," murmured Astrid, nursing her sore throat.

Heather smiled at her, "it's okay. Wanna sleepover at mines?"

She nodded, pulling her phone out, just as the battery died. "I'm gonna be needing your cord."

 _What a bust._

Astrid had no idea why she was so exhausted, and why taking off her heels felt like such a relief.

Heather gave a similar relieved sigh when they both dropped to the couch.

"Where's D?" said Astrid, craning her neck and wincing when the motion made her realize Heather was leaning on her hair.

"I don't know-oh, sorry- He said he'd be at the gym when I left."

Astrid winced, "you know I'd invite him out with us but…"

"I get it," said Heather, waving Astrid's concern away. "Specially not after the incident."

They couldn't deny it. Besides, the overwhelming sensations could very possibly trigger a paranoid episode for Douglas. Or Daggur, as he liked to be called because it sounded like a French person saying 'dagger', and he had that kind of logic.

After a brief silence, Heather sighed again. "I'm glad you're here."

Astrid smiled. "I missed you."

"Me, too," said Heather, leaning her head on Astrid's arm.

"How's your mum?"

Astrid shrugged. "Like always."

Heather straightened, "I thought you said she'd gotten better?"

She shrugged again.

Heather looked at her for another moment before standing up. "Come on, then. Let's get pyjamas."

They wrapped up the painting at 4, and Snotlout went inside to take a shower and try to get rid of the paint before it got too dry to remove it just with water and soap, shoving off Hiccup's thanks with a whiny complaint.

That left Eret with him, who was looking carefully in Hiccup's cousin's direction.

Hiccup laid down on the grass in front of Eret, beckoning Toothless in for a cuddle.

The dog obliged, rubbing his head on Hiccup's torso before dropping down next to him. He was almost as long as Hiccup's body from the waist up.

Eret's shoulders slumped as he wiped the small wooden board they'd been using to stir the paint on the bucket's edge and closed it.

"Can I ask you something?" he asked Hiccup.

"Yup!" said Hiccup cheerily, patting Toothless' back. "And thanks, by the way. Do you know why Dogsbreath didn't show?"

"Well, you _are_ paying," Eret shrugged. "But I dunno. Last time I talked to him, he said his dad was mad at him because of Cami."

Hiccup frowned, "because of Cami?"

Eret's brows followed Hiccup's example and furrowed, "C'mon. Don't tell me you didn't know?"

When Hiccup kept looking at him like he'd just made Toothless talk, Eret took pity on his Berkian friend.

"Cami broke up with him over Sommerfest. You really didn't know?"

Hiccup shook his head, then a flush darkened his cheeks. "I was… doing other things."

Eret snorted. "Doing your girlfriend, you mean!"

Hiccup's uneasy chuckle reminded Eret just how long it had been since he'd hung out with Hiccup alone. He stretched, patting Hiccup's foot and giving him a sheepish smile.

"I need to call her, though."

"You mean Astrid? Or Cami?"

"Both," grunted Hiccup as he strained to get up with Toothless still half on top of him. "I do miss Astrid. But something's going on, and I need to know what."

Eret's gaze shifted to the house behind them, where Snotlout was showering. Then back to the barn.

"When are you planning on bringing Natt Fury here?"

Hiccup groaned, scratching at his temple. "I've gotta talk to dad first."

Eret scoffed. "Right. That's bound to go over well."

"Don't I know." His wane expression cleared. "You wanted to ask something?"

His gaze torn away from Hiccup's house, Eret shook his head. "Naw. It's alright."

Eret left soon after that, with promises to come pick up the payment the next day, and Hiccup was left downstairs to wait for Snotlout, since they were doing awkward family dinner with Hiccup's dad and uncle.

He tried calling Astrid, but she didn't take the call.

Was she still asleep? It should be noon in New York City, so probably not.

Unless she was still jetlagged.

What if she'd gotten sick?

He missed her.

He texted her something stupid about the barn, feeling his lips stretch into too wide a smile, but being unable to stop himself.

"Hey."

"Snot!" Hiccup shoved his phone, squinting at Snotlout. "Are you naked?"

Snotlout paused for a long time. "No?"

Hiccup nodded, bringing his phone out again, disappointed when Astrid's name didn't appear on his screen.

"You do know you don't have to do that, you know?"

"What?"

"The whole…. Disgustingly happy bit. You don't have to go that far to make the rest of us buy it, we _get it_."

He frowned, phone forgotten in his hand. "I'm not acting."

Snotlout chuckled. "Sure, you're not," he agreed condescendingly.

"I'm not."

"Sure," sneered Snotlout again.

"Don't take it out with me just because I'm happy."

"HA! For now! Of the 2 of us, whose girlfriend hated their dick so much she turned into a dyke?" He laughed. "Don't you get tired of people hating you so much they pretend to change?"

Hiccup shot up. "Snotlout!"

But he was already turning away. "Fine. Whatever," he said snidely at Hiccup.

 _Fuck him._

Fuck _everything._

Something.

 _Something_ was festering inside Snotlout as he retreated into his cousin's room to change.

He was only trying to show Hiccup the truth.

You give yourself to someone, and they always ended up changing their mind about you.

You're never enough.

It festered as his gaze settled on Hiccup's desk, a bitter scowl on Snotlout's face.

It festered as he took the camera that sat on the wooden surface and snuck it into his bag.

It festered as Snotlout thought of just _how_ he would get Hiccup to see that he was only trying to protect him.


	24. Capsize

OnlyOnTumblrchapter 23 .Feb 5

You fanfiction writers and your fabulous storytelling...you steal all my hours i should be doing something productive \\(•_•)/ i LOVE this story, ive been hooked since i read the first chapter last night, i cant believe i found it just as u updated a few hours ago, you are amazing and i give you mad props for stick with it anyway for this last chapter like snotlout really? I should have know those pictures were gonna bite someone in the ass XD either way i CANT WAIT to see where the rest of the story goes, its been so much fun reading it so far and i LOVE all of the side characters also your backstory on why everyone has two names has to be my favorite behind the scenes authors note ive ever readXD so creative! 3 and perfect lol anyway thanks for sharing on the interwebs here, much appreciated from me who cant write like this lolXD

* * *

 **Thank you so much!** I so hope you aren't disappointed that i took so long to upload, and I was so very glad to know you were enjoying this fic! And damn, everyone is on to me about those pictures! or are they? ;) ;) RAFO!

I really can't stop thanking you.

* * *

 **Chapter 24** – **Capsize** by **FRENSHIP feat. Emily Warren**

 _Up at night, I'm awake cause it haunts me_

 _That I never got to say what I wanted_

* * *

It was unfortunate that being at Cami's door brought him so many memories since he was trying to focus on his goal, now that he finally had a chance after almost a week after trying to contact her.

The swirl in the grain of the wood in her apartment's door reminded him of the time Cami had asked him to come, a month after their breakup, saying she could finally explain why she'd cheated on him.

Like then, he wasn't sure Cami would open up.

But he was there to try.

He knocked one more time.

"Hey, man," said Cami as she opened the door, her crazy hair pulled back and out of the way like she hadn't thought much about how it wanted it to look and more about how she wanted it to feel. "Where's Toothless?"

He didn't respond, stepping aside so she could see Toothless poking his nose into the apartment.

Cami pulled him inside, where boxes were piling up around her, Toothless following them.

"What's going on?"

Toothless paused to receive a pat from Cami before disappearing into the apartment.

Sighing, and wiping a plate with a rag and covering it with newspaper, she shrugged. "What do you think?"

Hiccup took stock of her apartment. Only one window wasn't covered by the curtains, the sunlight filtering through dust particles and he realized what was odd.

The apartment was bare.

Furniture covered in bedsheets, and cardboard boxes in the kitchen next to her.

Rag still clutched safely in her hand, she was waiting for him to open his mouth before asking.

"How's Astrid? Haven't heard from her in forever."

His jaw snapping shut as he tried to collect himself, Hiccup stammered. "Fine, yeah. I… no. She's fine," he smiled for Cami's benefit. The truth is while they had been texting, he hadn't heard her voice in a little over a week. "Busy," he added for Cami's benefit at her shrewd look. "She asked me how you were."

Cami raised an eyebrow. "Why didn't she text me and ask that?"

He shrugged, "why didn't you text her?"

Her shoulders raised half-heartedly. "Busy."

Looking pointedly at the boxes all around them, he turned to Cami. "Yes. I see that."

Cami's shoulders bobbed up and down again, the rug splayed uselessly on the counter.

"Then?" he prompted.

After a disappointing wait, Hiccup sighed. "Nothing then? For Thor's sake, Camila."

Her despondent gaze turned into icy blue. "What?"

He looked at her, about to say something, when the pallor of her face gave him the answer he'd been looking for.

"Your mum," he said simply. At Cami's wince, he continued, "I'm so sorry, Cami."

Cami's acknowledging nod was slightly frightening. "Thank you."

It had been going for years now, that Cami's mum, a former athlete had been diagnosed with cancer, terminal stage.

Bertha, Cami's mum, didn't particularly like Hiccup, so he'd gotten used to receiving updates through Cami, and as Bertha kept outliving the line doctors set as her last days, the novelty of the horror and the poignancy had passed, and they'd gotten so used to the woman being on the verge of death but never quite enough that people knew when to order the flowers.

He first felt guilty for not knowing, then annoyed that Cami hadn't told him anything, but as her gaze held him cautiously in sight, he stammered her name before rushing forward and wrapping her in a hug.

If she trembled and left a wet spot in his jumper's collarbone, he didn't say anything about it.

He wouldn't, after Cami, eyes still a little red a while later as they sat on the covered couch, punched his arm and threatened to do worse if he told anyone she'd cried.

"Would anyone even believe me, if I did?" he joked, earning himself another punch.

He pushed her, and she stumbled a little to her side, eyes wide and muscles unprepared for his retaliation.

Laughing at her shock, he distracted himself on scratching Toothless, talking to the dog as he would anyone else.

She found comfort in the quiet domesticity of the scene.

The last time they'd been so easy around each other, they had both been fifteen, verging on sixteen, and even then, Hiccup's crush on her had her a little unnerved.

The fact that after everything she had done to him and their friendship, he was still here, was shocking to her.

He was her best friend.

"I wish…" she started, getting his attention. "I wish I could have fallen in love with you."

His smile was wry, aged by their memories, but softened by the happiness Astrid had helped him find.

"I don't," he admitted, complaining, and pausing to catch his breath as Toothless jumped on his lap like an elephant who wanted to pass as a butterfly and inevitably stepped on a rib or another.

"After everything that's happened, if it meant I would end up where I am right now… I don't think I would change anything."

"You wouldn't?" she said, shocked because she certainly would.

He shrugged, patting his ridiculous dog's oversized head, taking a moment to collect his thoughts.

"I… like where I am now," he explained. "I don't think things would be the way they are if what happened… hadn't happened."

Cami laughed, "so the things that happened now wouldn't have happened if what happened hadn't happened?"

He snorted. "I guess?"

She looked at him, undecipherable thoughts fizzing up and out of her gaze so quickly… she had always been a little smarter. "I want to think that."

"I don't know… I think you should."

After her nod, both found themselves wordless, looking around the apartment. Sometime later, Hiccup finally asked.

"Will you finally tell me what all this," he started, gesturing at the boxes, "is all about?"

Frowning, Cami looked around at the boxed things. A question to herself that he couldn't read bloomed in her face and withered.

"Asturias," she said simply.

"What?"

Blinking her thoughts away, she turned to Hiccup. "My mom told me about this house in a village in Spain. I will spread her ashes there."

"Alone?"

She shook her head. "I have family there. Also, I'm taking Alina with me."

"Alina?" he said, so loudly Toothless perked his head up to find danger.

Smiling at his incredulity, she shrugged. "Her dad is-was my mom's doctor. Her mom was my mom's nurse. We're buddies now, I guess."

These words brought a little pink sort of brightness to her skin.

Hiccup frowned, "you do know Alina's not gay, right?"

She half-heartedly kicked his hip. "How would you know? I know she was after you for a bit, but you don't know if she's bi."

He snorted, "I guess I wouldn't have the best track record, would I?"

"Nope. And if she's straight after all, well… I'm already used to falling for straight girls," she laughed, "it's my curse."

Grunting when Toothless stepped on his hipbone when he jumped off, he started rubbing his abused torso. He glared at her when she laughed.

Later, when he was saying goodbye at the door, he wished her luck.

"With everything," he added after a pause.

Cami's smile as she thanked him was the brightest it'd ever been since she'd first opened the door.

After a brief visit with Sigrid, where a disgruntled Toothless had to wait in the car, he found himself following the same routine.

Text Astrid. Wait for her to text back. Keep working on the barn, watching Toothless run around and making sure he wouldn't poke his nose in the red paint.

He smiled when he remembered he had chosen red because Astrid insisted all barns had to be red and he'd been too taken with the fervor in her eyes to contradict her.

Later on, opening his laptop didn't bring him anything new until he refreshed his page.

He had been waiting for an answer for a month now, and what was a ritual of updating his account every morning had turned into him checking his e-mail every two days.

Never a new e-mail. Until now.

His heartbeat thundering, Hiccup clicked open the e-mail.

It read:

 _Dear Henrik Haddock,_

 _After further revising your submission and_ taking into account _your relationship with one of our judges,_ we were forced _to disqualify you from the competition._

 _Please expect another e-mail with further information._

 _Greetings,_

 _-Matt Sorensen, from Lost and Find Magazine._

Hiccup sighed. 'Of course,' he groaned. There was another e-mail, the sender's name coming from a Matthew Sorensen.

Recognizing the name, Hiccup opened the e-mail.

 _Dear Henrik,_

 _We received your submission, but as Valerie's in the judging panel, we, unfortunately, can't accept it. However, following Val's suggestion, I made_ some _inquiries with a_ personal _friend of mine and showed her your pictures, and she would like to talk to you about_ becoming _part of a team in an exploration project. Please let me know if that's something you're interested in-_

Hiccup didn't even continue reading before he jumped, "YEAH!" he pumped his fist, while Toothless barked at him. Hiccup opened his arms, and Toothless jumped at them, making Hiccup stagger back under the weight of the dog, hitting his hip on his desk but he hardly noticed; the bubbling happiness making him laugh, Toothless licking his face and scratching him in his goal of not falling.

"Eugh-Ew-okay. Okay, bud!" laughed Hiccup maneuvering so Toothless could get down safely and rubbing the dog saliva off his face. "Okay, you're disgusting," he used the gooey drool and used it to rub Toothless with it, cackling at Toothless' offended sniff.

Hiccup laughed again, looking at Toothless as the dog started to groom himself.

Toothless looked at him, before starting to go into a deep cleaning section.

"Privacy!" complained Hiccup, turning and settling on his chair, and rubbed his face again with his t-shirt after thinking about it for a moment.

The e-mail continued:

 _Let me know if you're interested in being a part of it and want to know about it by sending me your_ Viewme _handle so I can set up the meeting as soon as you can. After the interview online, you might have to come here to NYC for a personal interview._

 _If you're not interested, let me know_ as well _._

 _-Matt._

Hiccup hurriedly typed an answer, before tapping on the wi-fi call button like Astrid had shown him how to do, and soon enough Astrid's image was showing on his screen.

The call didn't go through, so Hiccup sent Astrid a message instead.

 _"_ I was disqualified _! But I have better news. Text me when you can call."_

Over in New York, the air conditioner at the meeting room was leaving her a little chilled as she gathered her physical copy of the script.

All around her were up-and-coming actors. Cecily Andrade, who was playing Erik's mother in the series, was already a household name. John Hawkes, who played her love interest, was on a promotional tour of his new album so he had joined them by skype.

There was also Brooklyn Williamson, who was playing her sister, part of the love triangle between Erik and the character of the other girl there, who was named Leila Nathaniel and was famous for last summer's blockbuster film. Both of whom were watching her resentfully from her little corner.

Of course.

They both knew she'd been written in last minute as Brooklyn's character's sister to accommodate Erik's demands.

She wondered if they were threatened or if they were afraid she'd ruin it.

She wondered which of the two was more likely.

Boringly straight, convoluted, and overdone, it was very typical of the types of series aimed at teenagers nowadays.

Maybe she should have gotten in touch with Netflix instead.

But, oh well. No surprises then. At least she'd read the script this time.

Remembering Hiccup's teasing, she was about to pull her phone out (he would have texted her by then, definitely), when someone's fingers digging into her elbow made her lurch to a stop.

"Hey," said Erik, urgently, "we need to talk."

Looking around, seeing Brooklyn and Madison fixated on them, Astrid shook herself free from Erik.

"What do you want?" she hissed.

Erik pulled on her elbow again, "it's important. Come on."

Astrid grunted, freeing her elbow again, but following him through the corridors into a lonely hallway.

She noted unenthusiastically at him that that looked like the places where girls got murdered.

Erik seemed to falter, before exhaling. "Look. You need to get out of here."

"What?" she shook her head. "Are you serious?" she snarled at him.

He sighed again with the condescension of a tired father. "Listen, sweetie. Have you checked your phone at all today?"

Grumbling a warning against calling her any sort of pet name, Astrid brought out her phone.

* * *

Astrid's name and selfie popping up on his phone's screen made him jump, scrambling to find his glasses.

He slid the little green phone to answer, to hear Astrid's voice.

"Hiccup."

"Good afternoon, milady."

There was a silence, Astrid's heaving breath the only thing telling him she was in the call, still.

"Astrid?" he said, now concerned.

Click-clacking of shoes on stone, running down stairs, then WHAM, the sound of a door slamming, and tires screeching.

"Astrid?" he repeated.

Breathing. "Hiccup. Did you do this?" she demanded, short of breath and patience.

"I…" He looked at Toothless, who was hanging out on his bed, like the dog could give him an answer.

"Hiccup!"

"Sorry!" he said quickly at her pressing, "I… I don't understand. What's going on? Did I do what?"

Someone was screaming Astrid's name, but it was muffled. Urgent smacks on what he deduced was a car.

"Don't lie to me," she growled at him, her voice breaking. "Please," she added after a pause, softly.

"I promise," his mind was spinning dizzyingly, "I have no idea what you're talking about. What's going on? What happened?"

There was a string of cursing and whacks against some leathery material. Was it the seats?

Then silence, and a softer, raw 'damn it' coming from her throat.

"Astrid?" he asked again, gently.

"I hope you didn't. I hope so…" she breathed deeply, the air hitting her mic. "I have to call Heather," she said, her voice quiet; defeated like he'd never heard her. "Do me a favor. Google my name."

The call ended before he could call her name, and he was left staring at his phone, unable to really register anything.

Had that really happened?

He was in shock for some time before it occurred to him to do as Astrid had asked.

When he did, there was a cold monster going down his throat, nails embedded in his innards as it went down, ripping him apart.

"Fuck," he cursed himself, once the article showed up, and he recognized the pictures.

Two of them.

The first: Astrid smiling gently, her hands covering what her legs would not; his t-shirt riding down her shoulder.

The second: she was sitting up in bed, facing away, but throwing the camera a saucy look, the side of her breast swelling until it disappeared behind her strategically placed arm.

Her golden hair laying gently over the expanse of her naked back.

They were beautiful pictures, as it often was the case when it came to her, so he had been unashamed to take pride in them, which had been perfect when she had asked him to take them.

Not so much when someone had taken them and plastered them all over the internet.


	25. Capsize pt2

Guest chapter 24 . Feb 26

Askhdiajshgak this story is so good! I saw it mentioned on tumblr yesterday and decided to come check it out. I can't even this is amazing thank u so much for writing it!

 **Thank you so much for reading it! I'm so so glad you've liked it so far and nobody should worry,** i **have no plans of abandoning it until it's over!**

* * *

 **Chapter 25 - Capsize** by **FRENSHIP feat. Emily Warren** pt. 2

 _Here it comes with no warning  
Capsize, I'm first in the water  
Too close to the bottom  
I'm right back where I started_

* * *

Astrid's front door opened to Astrid's mum's assistant peeking gingerly before letting her in.

Giving Martha some form of a greeting, Heather found Astrid, her arms crossed and sitting in her sofa and Mrs. Hofferson's, Astrid's mum, pacing in front of her and going off on a tiresome rant.

"-this little project of yours is going to stick once the PR people and producers or whoever the fuck gets wind of this? and you're not looking as sorry as you should be! Do you even know how stupid I looked when I was in a meeting with Dior's new perfume line? Do you know the name of it? Pure!" she spat with venom, " _Pure_ , Astrid! And there are your naked pictures all over twitter. Can you even imagine what my face looked like?!"

Heather winced, looking at her best friend, who had fiery hatred burning in her blue eyes, and a reddened cheek. She clutched her sunglasses so tightly, Heather was afraid they'd break.

Mrs. Hofferson, who had stopped walking, continued to rant. "-whoever the fuck took these pictures? Was it Erik? Did someone hack you? Because if they hacked you, we can go with that story. Hel, we can go with that story anyway…" she started to pace again, now mumbling to herself.

"Mrs. Hofferson?" intervened Heather, taking the pause as her best possible chance to do so.

Mrs. Hofferson whirled around to face her.

Astrid was already standing up. Slowly and as silently as she could to not make a blip in Mrs. Hofferson's radar.

"Hi, first of all. You look… well."

As Heather had predicted, appealing to Mrs. Hofferson's sense of proper public behavior gave Astrid a window of opportunity.

"Yes, well… Thank you, dear," said Mrs. Hofferson, smoothing her dress and pressing her lips together to make sure the lipstick was well-distributed. Her gaze shot daggers at Astrid. "And _you_ , don't think you're off the hook just yet!"

Marta scrambled to have Mrs. Hofferson's things ready as the woman avalanched towards her.

Heather watched them both go, sharing a look with Astrid and following her to her bedroom.

Astrid threw her sunglasses on the side table as she approached it, pulling her phone from her pocket, glaring as the screen kept flashing on and on, before placing it next to her sunglasses, the screen firmly facing the wood.

Throwing herself backward, Astrid waited until Heather was lying next to her, feeling her piercing gaze on her face.

"What?" she finally grumbled, lifting her forearm from her eyes.

Heather looked away instantly. "Nothing."

She grumbled again, trying not to cry. She wasn't sure which one she was feeling more.

Whether it was fury, disappointment, or panic, it was a mixture of adrenaline and whatever hormone created sadness.

"A, _how_ did this happen?" said Heather, and Astrid felt the implied _'I thought you were smarter than this.'_

Astrid shrugged.

"Was it…" Heather paused, "was it Hiccup?"

It was more than a full minute before she spoke.

"I… I don't want him to be," she said miserably.

There was no answer from Heather.

Lifting her arm again, Astrid found her friend looking straight up to the ceiling.

Having known Heather since they were celebrity-aspiring tweens, Astrid knew exactly what she was thinking even before Heather herself said it.

The bed creaked as she shot up, grabbing her phone and shoving it in Heather's hands urgently.

Heather frowned, taking Astrid's phone and unlocking it, seeing the sort of comments on Astrid's social media. She didn't even need to search for them, new comments appearing sometimes faster than she could read them.

"There are two main theories," started Astrid as Heather read, "the first is that I'm trying a variation of the sex-tape route, and the other is that someone hacked me and sent the pictures to TMZ."

Heather's brows twitched, "and… what else?"

Astrid's lower lip was starting to sting, "it's just, no one but Hiccup knew of these. I asked him to take them. We were at his house and we…"

Heather put down the phone and hugged her, patting her back as Astrid just breathed.

When they broke apart, Astrid sighed. "Thanks."

Still patting her shoulder, Heather grimaced. "Have you considered whether he actually-Please don't get me wrong, when I met him he was all things lovely, and I actually really like him but I feel like I have to ask. A, is there any chance Hiccup might have…?"

Astrid jolted away from her. "He wouldn't have," she said determinedly.

"He wouldn't have," Astrid repeated at Heather's cautiously skeptical gaze. "I know he wouldn't. But then how did they get out?"

* * *

Hiccup was pacing, from time to time he'd look at his phone on his desk, where he'd let it clatter down after reading the many, many articles about their pictures.

How had this happened? The pictures themselves hadn't made it out of his camera, and he had them on a separate SD card, to make sure no one could see them, and actually-

His camera.

"Where's that thing," he asked Toothless, who, unable to give him an answer, only laid his head on the duvet.

"And why am I asking you?" he added lowly. He rummaged on his desk's drawers, his travel bag, everything.

Thirty minutes later and he still hadn't found it.

"Denne dumme tingen har ikke beine to just weggehen," he muttered. "So where the fuck is it?"

He had asked Eret, who had been the most in his house aside from Snotlout if he'd seen his camera but Eret had said no.

 _'Sorry, buddy. Did you ask Snotlout yet?'_ Eret said, and it made Hiccup realize:

No.

He hadn't

They'd had that nasty argument and Hiccup hadn't seen him since but hadn't wanted to press his cousin both because Snotlout had been helping him as a favor, and because Hiccup was still mad at him.

A horrifying hunch started to grow in his gut at that thought.

Would Snotlout have taken the camera to mess with him?

He wouldn't put it past him.

Hiccup let go of his hair, rushing to grab his laptop and one of his two SD card, which he had found on his desk, and inserted it into the side of the laptop, waiting for the machine to give him the prompt to open it.

Once he clicked the folder open, his heart sunk.

There were thousands of pictures, but none of Astrid's.

"No, no, no, no…"

His jaw was slack with terrified disbelief. What if Snotlout had seen the pictures?

What if he had? What if he had shown them to someone?

What if that someone decided it was their way to pay for a trip?

They must have been given a hundred thousand dollars, at least.

Astrid had warned him about this type of thing when they'd talked before she left, but he'd never thought it would happen to them.

He hadn't thought about what a risk she was taking even being with him.

He had to find out who had leaked them.

Which meant, he had to ask his cousin if he'd taken his camera in the first place.

He strode, yanking away the jeep's keyring from the top of his drawers, Toothless jumping off the bed to follow.

Toothless jumped in before him, and soon the tires were scrunching the gravel in the driveway as he drove to his uncle's.

His aunt, Audhild was the one to open the door, chalky gray eyes baffled, as she listened to whatever Hiccup had mumbled as a greeting.

"Upstairs," she said, "but you know Toothless has to wait here."

"Stay, bud," he said, turning back to Toothless, who promptly stopped wagging his tail and slumped in the entryway.

"Sorry, Hiccup, but you know I always keep finding his hair everywhere. He sheds a lot."

"Sorry, Auntie." He gripped the banister, one foot already on a step.

Audhild shooed him away, and Hiccup returned the smile albeit a bit more stiffly.

There was music coming from Snotlout's room, but it wasn't loud enough that when Hiccup banged on the door, his cousin wouldn't hear him.

Snotlout's door opened with a creak, the music sneaking past Snotlout's stocky figure, smirking up at Hiccup.

"I knew it was you," he said, smug, mocking satisfaction in his grin. "Come in, come in!" he said jauntily, throwing his door open and leaving Hiccup to come in and close the door behind him.

His cousin dropped on his bed, a gloating smile spread on his face.

Hiccup stumbled further in, Snotlout's words ringing in his ears. "What?"

"So? She dumped you yet?"

Hiccup frowned, "Astrid?"

"Who else?"

He had started to ask again _why would he_ \- and then his gaze caught onto his camera's strap, hanging from Snotlout's bedside table.

Striding past his cousin who was now standing in his way, Hiccup used his height against Snotlouts to grab onto the camera.

Grabbing it, his heart sinking even lower into the firepit in his chest and turning it over in his hand to make sure it was alright.

"You took this?" he asked, "you took it," he answered himself.

There was only a hint of glee in Snotlout's face, hesitance in his confident smile.

"What?" he taunted, "not so happy anymore?"

Hiccup turned to him. He tried to search for the truth in Snotlout's face, just so he wouldn't have to ask.

He didn't find anything reassuring in Snotlout's twitching smirk.

Hiccup's face burned. His hands were numb, putting the camera away, too afraid he might drop it. "Tell me you didn't do this."

Snotlout laughed, "what, she's not picking up anymore, is she?"

"Why?"

"I wanted to show you there is _no point_ ," he said condescendingly, reaching to pat Hiccup's shoulder, "I know she was a hot piece, but we'll find you something, yeah?"

His blood burned. "She's not…!" he shoved Snotlout's hand away. "I can't _replace_ her!"

"As far as I know, Alina's definitely after _your_ juicy bits," he scoffed. He watched Hiccup stay in solemn silence for a bit before laughing nervously, "come on, cuz! We'll find you another one," he tried reaching at Hiccup again, but Hiccup slapped his hand away, starting to pace.

"Hiccup," he tried again. "Come, on. It's not like she was anything beyond… well," he said, a cheeky grin spreading, "you know. We can still find you a nice-"

Snotlout staggered back, yowling, at the same time Hiccup cursed loudly, and held his fist to his chest.

"You fucking _pikk_ ," howled Snotlout, hand shooting up to his mouth, where the blood from his nose was already flowing, and a throbbing pain already spreading.

Hiccup had already seen Snotlout's nose but didn't have time to shoot an apology before Snotlout had shot forward and grabbed him by the neck of his top, and stars exploded.

They were on the floor now, a jab as Hiccup tried to get away, then Snotlout scratching his neck, attempting to grab him again.

More scratching and barking as Toothless was desperate to get in, and his aunt shouting: _'what's going on in there!'_

Audhild was done waiting for an answer and was now shouting at them to stop, her appearing stunting Snotlout enough that Hiccup managed to push him off, and she was now standing between them as her son tried to get at Hiccup.

"Stop. STOP!"

Toothless was still barking, adding to their panting to the silence.

His aunt was crying. Furious, desperate tears, as she pushed them both to the bed.

"Sit. NOW. No more fighting," she cried.

Snotlout wasn't looking at her.

He would not look at Snotlout.

Taking a quick look at Hiccup to make sure he was fine, she turned to Snotlout, grabbing a nearby T-shirt and prodding at Snotlout and muttering, scolding him.

She looked at Hiccup again and left muttering about calling his uncle to bring the car back, knowing she didn't know how to drive Hiccup's jeep and instructing Snotlout to hold the t-shirt to control the bleeding.

Hiccup's face was still burning, his left eye throbbing. He was too angry to be sad.

"You doke my dose," moaned Snotlout.

"You posted Astrid's pictures online," he defended. "And you punched me." His glasses were somewhere on the floor, trampled. His aunt had taken Toothless.

Astrid wouldn't want anything to do with him.

"You'd cwying."

Hiccup didn't mind him. He kept crying silently all the way to the hospital, enduring the nurses pitying looks, thinking his stoic tears had anything to do with his swollen-shut left eye.

He enjoyed Snotlout's cries as his nose was mended probably a bit more than he should have, but not as much as he actually wanted to, as the nurses treated his hand and his eye.

Once the nurses were done, Spitelout, his uncle, peeked at him and sighed, and walked away, leaving Hiccup and Snotlout alone, separated by a curtain.

There were some squeaks and groans, and then the curtain opened.

Snotlout looked him up and down. There was bruising all around his nose wherever the gauze and bandage didn't cover. "Yeah, you came of wodse," he seemed to confirm to himself.

Hiccup flipped him off.

"Oh, come on, cuz."

Hiccup ignored him.

This seemed to bother Snotlout more than anything else. "It's just not worth it," he said, his pronunciation distorted by his nose. "I did you a favor."

" _How_ was any of what you did a favor?"

"I opened your eyes, you dumbo. People always take and then they leave the other person, so what's the point in being all fucking romantic and calling it love or whatever."

Hiccup turned to him and was shocked to find that Snotlout was serious.

Snotlout groaned, "whatever, you're too stupid to get it anyway," he said, and went back to his bed.

"No, I get it," said Hiccup after a pause. "It's not like that with Astrid, though."

" _Idz not dike dat wid asdtid,_ " mocked Snotlout. "When are you seeing again, huh?" after Hiccup's lack of answer, he laughed, "I thought so."

Hiccup got up, having to lean on his right leg and grabbing on the curtain because they were giving his prosthetic a thorough check. "This isn't about me, is it?"

* * *

"It's just about the corner," Astrid reminded her recently-hired driver.

Watching as the car turned, Astrid read the message again.

 _'I know who leaked the pictures. I'm so sorry. Please call me back?'_

It had been two weeks of hell.

Two weeks of people talking about whether she was a whore, and whether being a whore was acceptable, and people defending her right to be a whore if she wanted to, and people arguing back that Astrid was a role model.

A few of them were saying how it was none of their business what Astrid did in her privacy.

Astrid wanted to get those few a condo in the Bahamas.

Mallory hadn't said anything about her lately on social media; probably because she was relieved Astrid's scandal had covered hers: she and Erik had broken up after a nasty argument in a club just the day before, but in the beginning, she had been liking tweets that criticized Astrid.

She was done with it all. She wanted to go back in time to when she was still in Berk.

The memories from there were more like a homemade VHS tape of happy moments and grainy film.

Sun-flares in the lens and nostalgia.

Astrid had even lost the comfort of Heather's presence had left her; she and her brother had gone to England for their monthly visit to their father.

And Hiccup…

She wondered if his eye had healed yet.

They'd been calling rather than texting, but something always felt… off.

Relieved as she was that he hadn't been the one to sell those pictures, the whole thing had brought a larger, more dangerous question to the front of her mind:

Could they make it work?

In theory, yes.

But this issue with the pictures had made her wonder if it could even survive in practice.

Not because of what Heather had told her.

It was more like he had never experienced fame as the celebrity culture in America made you live it.

He had never had a picture of his thighs splattered across the newspapers.

Fame and fortune had fucked him up in a different way than it had her.

And this is why Astrid had been reading and re-reading Hiccup's last text message for the past two weeks.

She'd told him she needed to think about things, and that is how a call from an unfamiliar number come in, and she had taken the call accidentally, thinking it might be him.

After the initial 10 seconds of panic and paranoia, the caller had introduced themselves and Astrid after talking for a bit, Astrid had agreed to meet this person at her apartment.

Eduardo, her driver, stopped the car. "It's here miss."

Thanking him and instructing him to wait, Astrid looked both ways before buzzing the front door, a heavy thing, made of iron, if she guessed.

It still swung lazily open to let Astrid through.

There was the door to a single apartment, the 101, an elevator, and stairs that Astrid climbed methodically.

Reaching apartment 201, Astrid knocked on the door twice, a clattering sound and a female-sounding voice saying "goodness!" before it was opening.

Long, brown hair behind her shoulders, Hiccup's mom was standing before Astrid, inviting her in.

Hiccup's mom waved her in, "oh come on in, dear, I'm terribly sorry I…" She laughed, "I'm terribly clumsy. Do sit down, I just started a fresh kettle, so tea will be ready shortly if you'd like some?"

The similarities between her and Hiccup were remarkable, from the way she stood, to the shape of her face.

"Yes, please." Astrid smiled as best as she could from her seat in the woman's small living room, looking around as Hiccup's mom got everything ready, and panicking for a moment when she was asked if Astrid enjoyed lemon or cream in her tea.

Hiccup's mom returned, sitting down in front of her, a thin folder in her hands. "Well, it might take it some minutes to boil, but it won't be long."

Astrid muttered something along the lines of "it's okay".

"I'm sorry I didn't explain much over the phone," the woman started. Hiccup had inherited his father's eye-shape, then. "I wanted to talk about your pictures."

"W-What?"

"Our shoot?" started Valka? Valerie? Hiccup's mom. "Our shoot at the end of May? Yeah," said Hiccup's mom saw the recognition in her eyes.

So much had happened, Astrid had forgotten about what had led her to leave for Berk in the first place.

"My mom said she had talked to you about it? She said you'd post the pictures?"

"She did. Unfortunately, we couldn't publish them."

Astrid's heart sunk.

"No matter how we looked at it," continued Hiccup's mom, opening the folder, "your expressions were really good, but they weren't what we were looking for."

Astrid's fingertips grazed the picture. She remembered it.

She remembered how livid she was.

She remembered her mother being ridiculous.

She remembered the shame and fury.

Now she was just ashamed, and tired.

Her gaze turning to Hiccup's mom, she said: "I do remember. I understand." She made as though to get up, but Hiccup's mom held up her hand.

"Please, wait. Let me get the tea."

Astrid sat back down, her hand moving the picture and showing her a second one underneath.

Reddish blobs and browns caught her attention, and she couldn't help but look.

"Ms. Hofferson," called Hiccup's mom from her counter, "what kind of tea would you like? I've got peppermint, chamomile, earl grey, and even green for good measure."

"Any's fine," she said, not tearing her gaze away from the picture.

How had she come to have it?

Holding it up closer to her face, her vision started to blur.

"Oh, I'm sorry, dear. I didn't mean to make you cry," said Valka, placing the tea set on the coffee table.

"No, I'm sorry. I…"

Valka smiled after a moment. "I didn't know you were friends with my son. I would have felt more at liberty to kick your mother out, back when we did our shoot."

Astrid shook her head, wiping her face. "I didn't know Hiccup then."

Valka nodded and started to prepare her own cup.

"I'm sorry," said Astrid, wiping her face again, the picture still in her hands, "I keep crying."

"You're alright, dear. It's okay to cry."

Astrid looked at her picture.

The lighting was soft, because it was lanterns, and people were dancing behind her, out of focus, and she was smiling at the camera, the beautiful dress Sigrid had saved for Frieda but let Astrid wear.

He'd taught her a traditional dance, far from people's notice, and she'd kissed him for the very first time, high on adrenaline and you-know-what?-whatevers, after promising not to hurt him, hand on his chest, and moonlight on his face.

Astrid wept.

* * *

Ingrid was worried.

She'd had to endure Astrid's silent treatments before, her daughter being so stubborn, where not even the worst comment would get her to react in something beyond a glare, but this was a different kind of quiet.

Astrid sat on the back of the car as Martha drove them both to the studio for Kelly's Coffee and Waffles.

After checking that Martha was keeping to her pretending to be deaf and blind like she had these past few trying days, Ingrid turned to Astrid, taken-aback to find her daughter looking out the window forlornly.

"Baby," she tried, "don't worry, okay?"

Astrid said nothing still.

"We can make it all go away, yeah? Just… say what I told you to say, and everything will be fine, okay?"

No response. Astrid's jaw tightened.

"I'm so sorry, darling. I know this won't happen again in the future. And you know what? Some years down the line, you can shoot for another movie! And we still have New York again for February, I'm sure this will die down by then, right?"

"New York?" said Astrid, addressing her for the first time in two weeks.

Relief fluttered in Ingrid's chest, "yes, I talked to the people with Niki Collins, and they said they would love to have you! So long as you keep getting fit."

Astrid looked at her. "I told you this fashion week was my last one."

Ingrid opened her mouth-

"Whatever," spat Astrid.

Raising her hand, Ingrid tried one more time, "Astrid…"

But Astrid ignored her, like when she was younger and Ingrid was telling her she couldn't be on the gymnastics team because the girls there got wide shoulders.

Ingrid didn't see Astrid until they were leading her onto the fake living room as they introduced her.

The host, Niki Collins, was taking a break from cooking to take Astrid's PR team suggestion of making the show more of an exclusive talk on her live show.

To her credit, she led the conversation smoothly, with Astrid playing the part of a quiet, sweet girl like she always did in interviews.

"The fact that these pictures were posted is such a disgrace," Niki was saying with a sad tone, "I think what was done to you wasn't fair, dear. Don't we agree?" she said to the audience.

The audience applauded, and Astrid said a small thank you.

"Now," said Niki as the noise died down, "can I ask you, sweetie, from the pictures themselves, it looks like you know who took them…"

"I…" Astrid stopped.

She looked at the audience, then looked to the right, where she found Ingrid, then back to the audience, then to her hands, twisting on her lap.

Niki reached with a caring hand on top of hers. "You don't have to be ashamed, dear, you can tell me anything."

Astrid looked back at her mother, a glint in her eye, then turned to Niki again.

"I'll tell you. You want to know the truth? And this is nothing but the truth. You want to know who took these pictures?"

Niki was opening her mouth, panicked at her change of demeanor, "I-yes!"

Looking at Ingrid, Astrid frowned. "My boyfriend."

There was muttering coming from the crowd. Ingrid tried to step in, horror in her features.

"My boyfriend took these pictures because I asked him to. He's a photographer, and he's really good. I met him two months ago, and he's great."

Niki sputtered.

Astrid went on. "I love… the pictures he takes. A mutual friend of ours stole those pictures from my boyfriend and decided it'd be a cool prank if he, himself, released them. But I asked my boyfriend to take these pictures, and I stand by them."

Niki reached for Astrid, "now, dear…"

Astrid inched away from her, now addressing the audience, "I'm sorry to my fans. I'm sorry if this ruins my career. Specially because I lied, too; Erik Cameron did cheat on me with one of my friends, and probably many others, probably many times. I'm tired of lying."

She stood up, "my name is Astrid Hofferson, and I'm tired of being slut-shamed for having a private life. Thank you, Niki," she said to the horrified host, and walked off stage.

A camera followed her, as well as Ingrid and Martha, but Astrid ignored her mother's screeches until they were in the car and driving away.

"-made an even bigger issue instead of something we can brush off, Astrid, are you even listening to me? Why are you smiling? Aren't you even listening to me?"

"Stop here, Martha."

"Martha, keep driving."

"Martha, stop."

"Martha!"

Martha stopped the car only when they had arrived at their building, but nothing could take away Astrid's relishing smile.

Astrid turned to Ingrid, her hand over her mother's wrist.

"I am booking a flight to Berk, and I'm leaving. I don't want more fashion weeks, no more just being a product's face. When I come back, I'm moving to California. Do with that as you will."

Ingrid's face was ashen, before turning red. "So this is how you repay me? After everything I've done for you?"

Astrid thought about it for a second while Ingrid panted. "Yes," she said smiling. "Yes."

The door slammed behind Astrid, and Ingrid was left to stare at her walk away.


	26. Home

I am sorry that this chapter has been a long time coming.

Not only have I been having problems with my internet provider, but I got a new job, had to move..

These past few months I've been undergoing huge changes in my life, problems that I never imagined, and I had to come to terms that what I wanted would not be happening any time soon.

Adding to that was realising I don't have half as many friends as I thought I had. Would do me well to be a bit less naive. I keep thinking if I'm kind to everyone they'll be kind back.

I'm not saying I deserve everything. Not at all. It's just that in the past I have accomplished what I thought was impossible even when the only thing I had left on my side was my own willpower.

I suppose learning that I can fail and that it's okay if I make mistakes was a bit of a shocker, as I've held myself to impossible standards my whole life and held my failures as proof of how I am the absolute worst.

As it turns out, there is no switch that can make a person go from Good Person to Bad Person: it's more of a sliding, slippery range.

But I have written too much.

Thank you, if you're still here, reading.

Thank you if you're still my friend. Know that I appreciate you and you are part of the reason I am writing again. You know who you are.

* * *

 **Chapter 26 – Home** by Hollow Coves

 _Take me home, to the friends I've always known_  
 _Take me home, back to the place where I belong_

* * *

Snotlout refused to talk to him about the pictures or about anything related. Thankfully, he'd brought them down and deactivated all his social media accounts, so maybe his message had sunk in.

Both had been brought to each of their homes from the hospital about a week ago, and Hiccup had tried to stay in since.

His father had questioned his bruised face once he got home, but Hiccup had nothing to say to him. They'd had an argument about Astrid and then his mother, and things had gotten out of control.

They say that ghosts follow the paths they'd followed in life and living post-argument (post-Astrid) felt very much like the afterlife.

Ambling and shuffling around each other, his father and he only talked when necessary, and when not, they sat down by the fire, its crackling and their contemplation being the only thing they shared.

Only a month ago he'd been so sure about the place he could take in the world.

Now it was like someone had pulled the rug from under him and left him floating.

Sigrid returned home, agreeing to go back to the hospital regularly for her psychiatric and therapy sessions, and Hiccup called her often.

Being stuck inside, especially with his dad being weirdly solicitous, was uncomfortable at best and lonely at worst, so when Snotlout showed up that morning, the fog of an early fall already giving Berk behind him its characteristic eerie aura, he was not opposed to hearing him out.

Snotlout's nose was all types of healing colors, but his speech was a lot better when he asked Hiccup to be let in.

Hiccup stepped aside, a grimace taking up part of his face at Snotlout's even asking, closing the door behind them both.

His cousin glanced around. "Uncle?" he called. "He's not here, is he?" he asked Hiccup.

Hiccup shrugged, gesturing as if to say, 'do go in,' which was very contrary to his frown.

He went first, his uneasy steps creaking on the old hardwood floor, Hiccup watching him warily as Snotlout shuffled as he sat on the couch, attempting but not managing to get comfortable.

"Hey."

"Hey," returned Hiccup.

Silence.

Glancing miserably at his phone down on the coffee table and sighing, Hiccup spoke at the same time as Snotlout.

"Listen, I'm waiting for a call from-"

"-just wanted to say sorry, look-"

"-Astrid, so whatever you're here for I'd rather if you-"

"-right? So, I talked to my mum, and she says maybe it wasn't the-"

Hiccup shut his jaw, "wait, what?"

Snotlout grunted, "you never listen when you're supposed to."

Snorting, Hiccup crossed his arms.

"Fine." Sighing, Snotlout sunk further into the couch. "I'm sorry… About the pictures. About what I said."

Hiccup looked at him. "Why would you do that?"

Snotlout blushed, muttering something.

"What was that?"

"-I don't know…"

Hiccup sat down, facing him. "Look, Snot. _Why_ are you here, really?"

Shrugging, Snotlout thought for a moment before a scowl dawned on his face. He stood up and made to walk out the living room.

"Snotlout."

His cousin did turn around, but only to say "I'm also sorry. You know… for making your jaw uglier."

Hiccup raised an eyebrow as he watched Snotlout leave but wasn't sure whether he wanted him to come back or leave.

Later that night, he went to the Hoffersons' for dinner. Before the door, Hiccup was undecided on whether he should knock or not. Sigrid was home, and he still wasn't 100% certain if Finn even liked him.

After waiting enough that the thought of leaving crossed Hiccup's mind, the option was taken from him via Finn tapping from the inside of the bay window, motioning him to enter.

Hiccup wiped his sweaty hands on his jeans. He hadn't even _known_ he was sweating.

Was he nervous? Why would he be?

Shaking his head, he opened the door and went to find them at the dinner table.

Finn was speaking to Sigrid softly as he served her mashed potatoes.

Sigrid's hair was uncharacteristically down, but it looked soft under the light fixture above the table.

They both noticed him standing by the door.

"Hiccup," called Sigrid, hazy and gentle.

His cheeks shook with the effort of smiling back at her.

"Come sit," she said.

The scrapes of the cutlery against the simple dinner were the only sounds during dinner, aside from small talk. It wasn't until they were sitting comfortably by the open window that Sigrid brought it up.

"I haven't heard from Astrid for a while…"

Hiccup shrugged.

Finn shared a loaded look with Sigrid. "I'll take care of the washing, love."

Watching with dread as Finn kissed Sigrid's cheek and left the room, Hiccup squirmed in his seat.

Sigrid's eyes on him were warm, but heavy. "You know I won't force you to tell me anything, right, dear?"

Hiccup nodded. He did know. He still felt like he had to tell her, so he sighed.

"I don't know… I… You know about the…?" after Sigrid's nod, he continued. "She hasn't called me back yet. Last time we spoke…"

Sigrid hummed. "So, what are you going to do about it?"

"I… Do? I… I've done everything I can; I mean…" Hiccup frowned, "if she's not picking up my calls nor answering my texts, is there _anything_ left to do?"

"I don't know. You tell me?"

There was something about Sigrid's gaze that was… annoying. He felt shame instantly for feeling that way, but he couldn't help it; it kept coming.

 _Was_ there anything to do?

He'd tried everything, but now the ball was in her court.

"I have."

Something shifted and gave in into the wistful ocean in Sigrid's eyes. "I see," she said.

His phone went off, and Hiccup got up.

"Sorry. It's Toothless'. You know Dad doesn't always remember to let him back in."

Sigrid got up with him and followed him to the entrance after he said goodbye to Finn. He had been ready to leave then, but an accidental glance to the stairs and what they led to brought him more painful memories.

Sigrid's hand on his shoulder brought him back to the present.

Turning to her, Hiccup smiled. "Thank you for dinner. I'm glad you're back."

Smiling back, Sigrid patted his shoulder.

It was like looking at her for the first time since he'd crossed their dining room's threshold earlier that evening. Chubby arms belonging to a stocky, comforting body. He remembered burrowing his face in her belly as he cried when Nailstench made fun of his missing leg when they were little.

It seemed now that her old cheeriness was gone.

Had it ever truly been there? Or had the sorrow been kept at bay, released only when it was impossible to hold, like a monster that found the moonlight too tempting not to stroll in the night?

Perhaps if it had been allowed out once in a while its rampage wouldn't have been half as devastating.

He hugged her, feeling like he was ten again despite being much taller.

Comforting back rubs didn't have an expiration date apparently.

When he broke the hug, he gave her a wavering smile. "I'm glad you're back."

"I'm glad I'm back, too."

The sound of their gravel path as he parked the jeep sounded like defeat to Hiccup's ears.

The crackle of his shoes and the creak of the door was much more lonesome, but he had to make it right.

Snotlout's visit had left a bad aftertaste in his mouth, like a slightly burnt casserole.

Thankfully, although it was nighttime, it seemed as though his family was still up; Snotlout's bedroom was lit and so was the living room.

Hiccup imagined himself getting off the jeep, stepping on the grass, knocking on the door; his cousin opening it, and Hiccup saying…

Saying what?

He couldn't think of what to say.

He drove back home.

There was a clash and crash coming from the kitchen as Hiccup and Toothless entered the house.

"Dad?" he called. "Hey."

Stoick answered with a mumbled greeting, adding in a grunt after he hit his head with the cabinet's open door. Toothless' delighted bark was a fun contrast to his father's grumbling.

Rubbing his head as he stood, Stoick set the skillet on the counter.

Hiccup sat by the phone. "Are you… what are you doing?"

"Your nanna's beef steak. I thought we could use some cheering up."

Removing his leg, Hiccup set it against the wall, next to his crutch, patting Toothless' head after grabbing his crutch. "'Cheering up'… I've already had dinner."

His father's massive size didn't let him see what he was up to, but the smell and sizzle of butter on a pan was hard to disguise. "Set the table, son."

Sighing, Hiccup grabbed a hold of his crutch, grabbing the plates, cutlery and setting the protecting cloth so his father could set the skillet.

They started to eat in silence.

Stoick was throwing him not-so-subtle glances.

After a while of Hiccup trying to ignore them, pushing around the chopped-up pieces of steak around and over the sauce in his plate.

"We almost never have dinner together like this," probed Stoick.

"Mm-hmm." Hiccup sneaked a piece of beef for Toothless, who waited eagerly by his foot.

"We need to stick together, you and I," said Stoick, slicing his meat.

At Hiccup's silence, Stoick tried again. "Don't worry, son. Better things will come."

Hiccup's brow furrowed. "What do you mean?"

"Your girlfriend." Stoick cleared his throat. "You'll get a girl more suited for you. You'll see."

"Suited for me?" he laughed, his ire building fast and him quenching it with steak. "I'm sorry; I had _no_ idea we had a girlfriend catalogue. Could we order one on installments? I'd like to build some credit."

Bristling, Stoick munched through another bite of steak. "I've only ever looked out for you, son. I don't get why you always react like this."

Hiccup set his fork down, his eyebrow lifting; challenging. "Like what?"

"Like this," Stoick gestured at him. "All I ever do is try to help you. You're… directionless. And no matter how much I try you always throw everything back at my face."

Hiccup's anger was wild now, only tethered to the ground by the last shreds of his patience remaining.

"Don't you glare at me," said Stoick, frowning as he went back to his second steak. "You know it's true."

 _Help him? When? How?_

Besides paying for what he needed for school, and food, he couldn't recall any instance where he had been grateful to have his father near him.

Except for…

But that had been a long time ago. He had been a child.

Those memories belonged to a time before his mum had left them and their family to implode.

They finished dinner without any more attempts at conversation.

Next morning, he resolved to seek out his cousin again.

After all, any conversation he might have with Snotlout couldn't be more painful than the one he had with his father the night before.

It was before midday when Hiccup found him by the road near Hiccup's house, a short stack of logs piled and tied to the back of Snotlout's ATV.

Snotlout himself was tying up another pile neatly by another tree. Hiccup didn't suppose they'd use the logs yet; they couldn't be dry enough.

Wiping his brow, Snotlout gestured at Hiccup with his chin. "'Sup."

"Hey," started Hiccup awkwardly, but didn't know what else to say.

"So, you heard, then?"

"Heard? Heard what?"

Snotlout frowned, "don't play dumb. You know what I'm talking about."

"No, I don't," said Hiccup, blankly.

His cousin's frown deepened. "Everybody knows."

Hiccup blushed, "I don't. I haven't really talked to anybody lately."

Snotlout gave a sad, sniggering, laugh. "Loser," he mocked.

"Whatever," grumbled Hiccup.

They stood there, watching the other.

Snotlout's brow screwed up. "You really don't know."

"Haven't the foggiest."

Snotlout scowled. "I wrote the Sommerfest play."

Hiccup nodded. "I know."

"You know what my dad thinks about writing." Snotlout turned around, eager to do something. To look busy. Everything so he wouldn't have to look at Hiccup's face.

"Yeah. He says it's not manly and it'll make you gay."

"Yeah, well. He found out."

"Oh," said Hiccup, grimacing. "I'm sorry."

Snotlout shrugged. "He was more pissed after he went to yell at me and found me making out with a guy, so."

Hiccup's mind went blank. He was aware that Snotlout was staring at him defiantly, as if he expected him to suddenly contract the rabies and go wild-28-days-later-monkey on him, but he didn't know what to say.

Snotlout was staring at him.

Hiccup blinked. "Oh… What does auntie say?"

Scanning Hiccup's face for any hint of disgust, and finding none, Snotlout finally spoke. "She said I should stay somewhere else while she talks some sense into him."

"When was this?"

Snotlout shrugged. "This morning. I sneaked him in yesterday and we slept in."

Hiccup paused for a moment. "Right… Do you… I mean, I don't know if you're already staying with your boyfriend, but,"

"Not my boyfriend," grunted Snotlout. "He's a fucking hypocrite."

"-if you aren't you can stay with me, you know?"

Snotlout's mouth opened, then closed. "Why?" he said after a pause.

"Why what?"

"Why are you doing this? I hate your stupid little good boy act. You always make me look bad."

Hiccup's incredulous laughter burst forth. "Snotlout, I care about you. No matter how much I want to beat you up sometimes."

"Oh…" Snotlout seemed to process this. "As if you could, anyway," he muttered, a small grin on his face.

"Right. So, are you coming? Or do you want a hug first?"

"Gross," Snotlout batted Hiccup's arms aside, bumping into him as he went. "Let's go," he said grumpily.

Hiccup was relieved to see a smile on his cousin's face.

It was about 7 pm, as Hiccup had dinner with his father and Snotlout, whose presence Stoick had accepted after a slight frown and Hiccup's convoluted lie about wanting to spend time together.

Dinner was enjoyable mostly for Toothless, to whom Snotlout kept feeding bits of his own food. No doubt something he was used to doing with his great dane, Hookfang.

A ping coming from Hiccup's cellphone drew all their attention.

"No phones on the table, Hiccup," nagged Stoick as Hiccup struggled with getting his phone out his pocket.

"Could be important," he grunted.

Looking at the phone's screen, an array of emotions trampled him in quick succession.

First, disappointment at the name on the screen not being Astrid's. Then, sadness, at the same thing.

Third, wonder. He had just gotten an email. And finally, excitement as he started to read it:

 _Hello, Henrik._

 _We reviewed your interview and application to be part of our team and would like to invite you to a face to face interview this coming September 24th in our main offices in New York at 9 am._

 _You can find our offices in W Broadway and Spring St in Soho. See full address in the footnote of this email._

 _Please let us know as soon as you can if you are still interested._

His fingers would be trembling if he wasn't using them to type a very eager confirmation.

He was still typing when Stoick's voice reached through the euphoria.

"What is so important that you can't pay attention to your family?"

Hiccup's heart was beating loudly. "I'm in."

"In?"

Snotlout was looking at him as puzzled as Stoick had sounded.

"I applied for a job and I got it. I might have gotten it. I think I did." He stood up, a bright grin stretching his face. Toothless trotted to him interestedly.

"I have to go. To New York."

Stoick frowned. "Is this about that girl?"

Hiccup's smile dimmed. "No. I told you, didn't I, a job?"

"You already have a job."

Snotlout grimaced and grabbed his plate, skulking to the kitchen.

Frowning, Hiccup pushed his plate away. "I quit."

"You _can't_ quit family. You can't quit your legacy."

"Yes, I can. Mum quit us, remember? You quit me, when she left."

Stoick stiffened. "So that's it, then? You'll abandon us."

"If you make me choose, yeah," said Hiccup severely.

Stoick chuckled, astonished, as if he was opening a present he had asked for but found something else inside the box.

"I can help," said Snotlout, standing by the doorframe and breaking the tension. "I can do what you're supposed to do. I'll take care of your dog, too. He thinks I'm cooler anyway."

Hiccup exhaled into a smile. He looked at his dad.

There was nothing holding him back anymore. "I'm going to New York. You can't stop me."


	27. Get Rid of your Ghosts

**Posting from work so I will be answering your comments later today! Thank you, by the way, your comments make my day.**

 **Come back tomorrow for some new info on this fic!**

* * *

 **Chapter 27** – **Get Rid of your Ghosts** by Land of Trees

 _It's amazing facing the ones that you love_

 _While alone you've grown to look above_

 _The things that made you fall so deep_

* * *

The ring of the buzzer surprised Valka much less than the call she'd gotten from her son in the middle of the night.

She quickly gathered her wallet and ran downstairs. She could spy her son pacifying the cab driver, assuring him he wasn't about to get scammed or murdered, which in the city of New York was rather more likely than it could have been in Berk.

After they had paid and entered Valka's apartment, she had to just… stop.

"You haven't said anything," remarked Henrik.

"Hullo, Mum," said Hiccup after a pause. He seemed to take half a step forward, his arms jerking up as in to offer a hug, but they quickly laid to his sides.

"Hey," said Valka, reacting. "I'm sorry… I haven't seen you in such a long time…." She took in his face hungrily. How could he be the same child she'd known and yet someone completely different?

It was almost disturbing. "I'm sorry," she apologized again, "I just… The last time I saw you was a year ago, and—"

"Two," he corrected, "two and a half actually."

"Right… right," smiled Valka, placing a hand on his shoulder. "You're right of course."

They faced each other for a second, before hugging like they'd forgotten how to do it and were having trouble remembering.

She scanned his face, searching for every little detail. She wasn't sure what she was looking for not even when she found the familiar green of his eyes.

It was difficult to understand herself, but the fact was that no matter how much she searched, every time they met, Henrik was a different person.

Each time, someone she knew a little bit less.

This realization felt like a bullet to the heart and she couldn't bear to look at him.

"Come on in," she said, turning swiftly under the pretense of showing him around her apartment.

A week later, Astrid was boarding the plane that would take her back to Berk.

To Hiccup.

She'd left her phone turned off; she didn't want any distractions. She couldn't be bothered at all.

"People must already be talking," a little voice in her head said. "They will be waiting to see what fresh bullshit you come up with."

She ignored it.

The voice was surprisingly very much like Astrid's mother.

As adrenaline had worn off gradually, a tiny sliver of dread had inserted itself in Astrid's heart.

Moving forward felt like stepping on a cloud; when she thought about it the glee and terror mélanged together and flooded Astrid's veins.

She could feel it even now, drumming on their way to her fast-beating heart.

What if she was doing the wrong thing? What if she was ruining her career?

Every time thoughts like those entered her heart, she remembered the rarity of genuine, solid friends. She remembered that friends like Heather were more the exception than the rule.

She reminded herself that though her cage was gold it was still a cage.

Back in New York and a week earlier, Hiccup couldn't get over the fact that he was actually there.

After a long-required nap, his mum had taken him to Times Square, and he had seen with wonder the billboards lighting around him. Their technicolor lights were much brighter than he could have ever imagined from all the pictures.

One of the billboards showed her occasionally. In the ad, she twirled on a gauzy, layered dress, yellow, orange and brown leaves dancing around her.

It was like looking up at the stars after having felt their heat up close.

Of course, he had attempted to call her, but Astrid's phone went straight to voicemail. He had forced himself to try to call her less and less often since she never picked up.

Would he stop sooner rather than later?

Hope was like a dying ember inside him. Once and again there was a brave little cracking in the hearth, and it would try to ignite itself, but it never lasted longer than Hiccup looking at his call log.

Valka, having seen his face falling had taken them to dinner and then home. Distracting him from his heartache was impossible.

She kept debating whether telling him that Astrid had been at her apartment was a good idea.

As much as she wanted her son to be happy, Valka wasn't sure how Astrid would react.

The dread of possibly rising his hopes only to crush them was more than enough to keep her silent.

The first week was difficult.

Whenever he tried talking about his life back in Berk, a troubled frown would appear on Valka's face.

Any mention of Sigrid was received like a cold raindrop on one's spine would be, and any mention of his father made Valka change the subject.

The next few days after those were smoother, but a hiccup here and there presented itself.

They were nothing, really.

Truly.

But some of her comments…

Sometimes, it seemed as though she thought that Hiccup….

It would have been nothing until it came to a head the day of his interview.

"I've been dying to show you all this," said his mum.

It was bright and early.

They were walking towards the building where he'd have his interview, and Hiccup couldn't help but look at all the tall buildings around him. Such a mixture of style and culture.

It wasn't at all like Berk, where the tallest buildings were the subsidized government housing. The tallest building there were five stories due to common earthquakes.

"It's… amazing," he said, almost breathily.

Valka's eyes filled with so much lively warmth Hiccup couldn't help but smile back at her.

There was noise everywhere; a cab driver leaning out his window to curse at another driver, the general murmur of people. Bright signs here and there.

Hiccup had never felt more anonymous, more lost in the crowd than he was now in his entire life.

"I'm glad you're liking it," said Valka. "And there's even more out there that you haven't seen."

Hiccup paused, frowning, "do you think two weeks is enough to see it all?"

She stopped with him, fiddling with her long brown braid. "I want to think-" she started tentatively, "-that you have very good chances of getting the post,"

"Not alone there," interrupted Hiccup, who had rarely been as confident about something.

Valka smiled, then looked at the sky for a second before motioning them to continue walking.

"You have a very good chance, yes," she repeated, to resume their talk. "I put in a good word for you, too."

Hiccup thanked her, grinning.

Valka bit her lip, and they kept walking. Only when they were reaching the building they were looking for did she find the words she wanted to say.

"I was thinking, Henrik, that you could just… stay."

He frowned as they came to a stop. "Stay?"

"Yes." Valka took a shaky breath. "Stay here. Just… never go back."

At Hiccup's expression, she added, "I know what your father is like. He is a good man, but he is very… firm… I think it would just be easier if you stayed here."

"And never went back?"

"Yes."

Valka continued after a pause, "we could manage your things; make sure all is in order."

"And Toothless?"

"We can find a way."

"Fury? -My horse," he added at Valka's confused look.

"That's trickier but achievable. Cloudjumper, too. I make enough now that it's not impossible."

Hiccup paused, his eyes cloudy. "Sneak out of Berk and never go back."

"Yes."

"Like you?"

Valka's eyes prickled with burning tears, "Think about it. I think this is best for you."

With one more look at the building, she patted Hiccup's shoulder. "Good luck, son."

Hiccup opened his mouth to say something; maybe apologize, but his tongue wouldn't move.

He watched her walk away, regret swirling in his chest like a boat caught in a cyclone.

Five minutes later he had given his name to the young receptionist, asking for Matt Sorensen, and been asked to wait.

Five minutes after _that_ , a lady with a short haircut had called his name and was ushering him into an office, motioning for him to sit across from her.

As he started to sit, he realized, and stretched his fumbling arm towards her. "I'm Henrik."

"I'm aware." The lady measured him with a look, before deciding that shaking his hand was not a risk worth taking yet.

Hiccup shrank, taking back his hand. He started to pick at the skin around his nails. Anything to ease his nerves.

"I'm sorry," he finally said with a pained smile. "Matt told me he would interview me, so I'm a little nervous."

The lady narrowed her eyes. "I see."

"Not that I actually mind that you're doing the interview, I mean. I was just caught off guard, is all."

She nodded once.

"Right," he said, humming. "Should we?"

"How could we? I'm positive you haven't asked my name yet."

She continued, interrupting him. "It's Mala Fender."

Hiccup sighed. "Right. Oh," his arm twitched as if to offer itself to Mala, but he forced it to stay. "Nice to meet you."

Mala nodded again. "Now we can begin the interview."

It was grueling, and somehow intense. At the end of it, Hiccup realized he had been there almost two hours.

If Mala had found a passion for poker Hiccup wouldn't have been surprised to see her become a billionaire.

He had no idea what her parting words had meant, and he had spent the last forty minutes as he walked back to Valka's apartment replaying the best and worst parts of the interview in his head.

He pressed the buzzer.

The door opened with a clang, and soon Hiccup stood before his mum's apartment door.

His hand was already in the air, ready to knock, but the door was already swinging open.

Valka's smile was easy, but the redness and puffiness around her eyes made his soul drop to the floor and get squished.

"You're just in luck," she smiled. "I just put the kettle on."

"Mum," started Hiccup, but Valka raised a finger.

"No. We should talk. But we're having tea first."

His wallet and phone clattered on the small end table next to the cushiony chair by the window.

They were just milimetres away from his picture.

Hiccup took a look a quick look at his mum's back as she busied in the kitchen.

Taking his picture, he couldn't help but acnowledge both the nostalgia in him and the small sense of perturbation at this being the most recent picture of him his mum had in with her.

He sat down in the chair, and looked at the picture once more before having to put it down.

His mum was arranging some biscuits in a small plate, undoubtedly for them to enjoy with the tea.

It dawned on him that he had not seen his mum make tea before he got to New York. But then, there were a lot of things that he hadn't known.

Valka smiled at him, carrying a platter with their tea. Hiccup hurried to help her set it down.

They sipped their tea in silence for a while, each lost in their own world beyond the flat's window.

"Mum," he began, but she interrupted him.

"Do you remember, Henrik, when I took you riding for the first time?"

Hiccup stared blankly at her.

Valka set down her mug carefully, "you don't remember that?"

Hiccup shook his head.

"Of course not," she smiled, "you were only a young child."

A weak specter of a memory surfaced. The exhilaration and slight hint of panic all swirling inside him.

Then it vanished, replaced by newer, shinier memories.

"I'm sorry."

Valka looked out the window. She seemed to think for a moment, before pursing her lips and standing up.

There was something almost eerie, otherworldly in the way she walked towards her only bookcase, taking out a manila folder.

Approaching him, she took out what could only be photograph paper and handed it to him.

Hiccup took the picture, not even registering Valka sitting in front of him, his eyes stuck on the photo in his hands.

It was like hearing the echo of a ghost. Although earthily, authentically beautiful and tangible, being with her had always felt like he was a guest in a different, much better world.

It was almost as if he could taste the golden yellow of her hair under the lights. When he looked at her beautiful borrowed dress, he could almost feel the sensation of the fabric under his fingertips when she kissed him for the first time.

Speechless, his fingers reverently caressed the edges, too afraid of touching the actual image and finding that it was just that; an image.

Swallowing, hiding the photo against himself, he turned to his mum. "Why do you have this?"

Valka's mouth curled in a sad smile. "You sent it to me, remember?"

Hiccup frowned. "No, I mean-"

"I called Astrid here, just before you showed up." Hiccup opened his mouth. "Unannounced," added Valka.

Hiccup settled.

"What I mean is," said Valka, frowning, "if you stayed with me, I could help you fix this," she pleaded.

Hiccup frowned, "and you wouldn't if I left?"

"Henrik-"

Hiccup shook his head, "what is this mum? What are you trying to do?"

Her eyes were pleading. "This is what is best for you, son. I know who you are,"

Standing up, Hiccup started to pace.

Valka stood with him, wringing her hands. "I know who you are. We are so alike, I just know what living there is doing to you."

Hiccup shook his head, his arms crossing and uncrossing. His hands firming into fists and relaxing.

"And you know I'm right, too," continued Valka, "you know I'm right. We're not like them, Henrik. We can live cooped up like that. You are not like them, you-"

"Stop!"

"Henrik," tried Valka.

"No." He'd stopped pacing. "No, Mum. You're right. I'm not like them. I'm not like _him_ ," he added.

Valka's face started to brighten. Her hand reached for him, but froze when she met his green eyes, filled with rawness. Red anger and sadness swirled beneath them.

"I'm not like _you_ either." He paused, still tasting those unpleasant words in his lips.

He shook his head, turning away from her.

She shrunk, her hands tight, entangled around each other as she watched him pack.

As he reached the door, she tried one more time.

"Henrik…"

Her son turned to look at her. "My name," he said, blankly, "is Hiccup."

The door slammed behind him.

.

.

The tinkling of the bell above him brought him back to earth.

Looking around at the diner he had just entered, Hiccup decided he was hungry anyway and could use the time to regroup and figure out what he was supposed to do.

His return ticket wasn't for another week, and now he had to find somewhere to stay as well as figure out what to do with his time.

He could change the return ticket, but then what if he suddenly got a hold of Astrid?

What if he got a chance to see her?

He tried calling her again as he waited for his food, but no luck.

The TV in the corner was muted, but he could see it was a celebrity gossip show about to begin.

Laughter surged in the booth behind him.

Sitting idle as his food hadn't come out yet, he couldn't help but overhear the conversation.

"I don't know. Can't even see her tits tho," said a guy with a deep voice.

"Who's she again?" said a second voice.

"This… Instagram chick. The one that was going out with this other dude."

"… That's pretty specific."

"Fuck off. You wanna see the pic or not?"

"Fuck. Whatever."

They were silent, murmuring to each other.

Hiccup was sick to his stomach. He wasn't even sure he could handle the soup he'd ordered.

Beyond the guys behind Hiccup and himself, there weren't any other customers but for an old lady on the other side of the diner, as the lunch rush had ended a while ago, so the waitress leaned back on the bar and used the remote to up the volume on the TV.

Hiccup couldn't help but pay attention. There was a picture of Astrid in the backdrop, and two people were talking about her.

'…The model slash actress threw _major_ shade at all those criticizing her.'

'She basically said to mind their own business. And you know what, Carla? I agree.'

The guys behind him seemed to have been paying attention too, scoffing.

"I think that's bullshit," said the guy with the deep voice to the other. "If she didn't want people to talk about her. She shouldn't have posted shit."

"She didn't post it."

Both guys looked at him like he was an alien.

The first guy recovered first. "Mind your own business."

Hiccup scowled, "shouldn't have said shit if you didn't want to be heard."

The second guy intervened. "What's your problem, man? Leave us alone."

"Leave _her_ alone," said Hiccup nodding at the TV. "She's a real person."

The guy with the deep voice scowled at him. "What are you, her boyfriend? Fuck off."

"For real, though," added the second guy.

Hiccup pressed his lips together, doing his best to not retort.

He stood up to pay, grabbing his suitcase with him. Still sick to his stomach, he decided to leave, finding a coffee shop with free wi-fi, trying to find more information on what Astrid had said.

Finally, several hours later and after trying different searches, diving deep into the world of the internet that he wasn't as familiar with, he managed to find a link to the video of Astrid's interview.

Heart in his throat, he watched as Astrid unloaded on the poor, unprepared host. He read the comments on her latest Instagram post, and on the articles.

His phone was dying, and they were about to close the coffee shop for the evening, but he had to try.

He was allowed to do that now, right?

If anything, Astrid's admission meant she didn't, couldn't hate him, right?

He found Astrid's name in his phone and pressed the call button.


End file.
